managing an open relationship

[jasa75]

Having had some difficulty getting to grips with this bi thing. I realised when I was 16 that I was bi. The difficult thing for me is that these feelings seem to come and go- sometimes stronger for men sometimes for women. I'm 35 now married and have a 3 year old. I told wife I was bi when we met. I've come to a point now that i realised that I have been repressing my bi side lately and this led me to feel down. I have decided that it is not healthy for mr to do it any longer. I said to wife that I may have to act on the feelings -she said ok. We love each other and are very honest. I have a very high sex drive she has very low.
she has recently descovered by feeling herself - she comes soo quickly and strongly to lesbian porn. So she is not shocked or upset, she is a very calm person.

What I want to know is how do people in open relationships manage what I want to be my primary relationship with wife and secondary ones with lovers.

Also how has acting on your desires changed your life. Has it ruined your primary relationship or not?

[TaylorMade]

First of all, you're in a good spot. . .your wife knows what you are up to and has given you the freedom to pursue and fulfill your urges, so good for you. :) Ninety percent of the pressure is off you if you really think about it.

Second, just go and meet people... have the objective be to make friends, if nothing else, they can point you to eligible partners. Maybe have your wife go with you.

Third, make yourself clear - - that your primary relationship is with your wife.

I'm sure more experienced people will have more to add, but I think thats a good start.

*Taylor*

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

First and foremost Kudo's to your lady for open minded views, that's very cool. Find a good Lifestyle group in your vacinity and become a member. Get out and meet people, get to know them, and perhaps you'll find a couple who are Bi and who would like to play sometime. Your lady doesnt have to unless she wants to, but at least she could see the type of folks you might like to interact with. :} And who knows...she might one day like to stop watching girls play and do it herself. :}
Good luck sweetie
Cat

[drwilsontx]

Having had some difficulty getting to grips with this bi thing. I realised when I was 16 that I was bi. The difficult thing for me is that these feelings seem to come and go- sometimes stronger for men sometimes for women. I'm 35 now married and have a 3 year old. I told wife I was bi when we met. I've come to a point now that i realised that I have been repressing my bi side lately and this led me to feel down. I have decided that it is not healthy for mr to do it any longer. I said to wife that I may have to act on the feelings -she said ok. We love each other and are very honest. I have a very high sex drive she has very low.
she has recently descovered by feeling herself - she comes soo quickly and strongly to lesbian porn. So she is not shocked or upset, she is a very calm person.

What I want to know is how do people in open relationships manage what I want to be my primary relationship with wife and secondary ones with lovers.


Also how has acting on your desires changed your life. Has it ruined your primary relationship or not?


My first thought, you have an understanding woman and you don't have to hide your sexual feelings from.... Kudos to her. I told my gf early in our relationship, also. To my surprise she's pretty cool with it, and for the last 4 years I tell her when I get urges sometimes we act on it and sometimes we role-play around it. ? Never do we ignore it. We've done the swinger thing, discussed cuckolding, done the glory hole, the strap on, mild bdsm. all I can say is you are set for an amazing ride to explore yours and hers sexuality in an amazing way. Talk, then discuss and talk more. Be open and honest, Willing and understanding and enjoy the ride. After all it's just sex.

As far as our relationship it is solid. We are willing to call the other out on mis-steps, usually her on me. Communication, so far, has got us past the rough spots. Never be afraid to take a step back and analyze and listen to her concerns. And remember, we are guys when shit goes wrong it's always our fault

[Realist]

I've been in two successful poly relationships and an attempted, but failed one.

The first one didn't work, because there were no discussions, or agreements, beforehand. We just went into it blind.......if we'd had our eyes open, we would have seen it was destined to fail. We all had different visions of what we expected to take place, but each of us had different ideas...which didn't mesh.

The second one began slower, with better communication and more mutual interests. Before intimacy, we all knew where each one stood and what our visions were for a happy, fulfilling, agreement. That one lasted for over a year and only split up because of transfers.

The third one, also worked because it was also begun with careful planning, and agreements made before all parties were intimate. There were a few definite rules, but there was nothing really complicated and there was good flexibility, too. That one lasted 2 years. That one broke up amiably, after I met and married someone else.

So, in my case at least, careful planning, consideration for all parties, and some basic rules, ensured a happy and pleasing environment for us all.

[balmone]

I've had 2 poly relationships. One of them failed and the other is failing. But neither one ever had complete honesty. I think as long as you are open and honest with your wife and let her know that she matters and maybe keep her involved then everything will work out great. When you find someone else you want to be with you just have to be upfront with them about your wife and make sure they understand fully before jumping in bed with them

[Kiowa_Pacer]

Greetings;

My wife and I have an open marriage, have from day one. We play together at parties, and always play in the same rooms. She has no difficulty in watching me with another man, or another lady. It is all based on Trust, plain and simple. She knows that I am going home with her, and I know she is coming home with me. Its an absolute, and because it is open and above board, there is total trust and love.

I hope your Lady affords you the same freedoms Friend.

Best of luck.
KI

[Realist]

To the folks, who are involved in poly relationships, or encounters, these days......do you have romantic relationships, or just platonic sex?

I've also has two successful LTR poly relationships and they were both very romantic and gratifying. I'm not one who can get into sex, without (at least) caring deeply for those I'm with.

I'm not saying I've never had a platonic relationship, but I prefer to be romantically involved with those I'm intimate with.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

To the folks, who are involved in poly relationships, or encounters, these days......do you have romantic relationships, or just platonic sex?

Platonic sex? How the heck do you have platonic sex, Sweetie? I'm confused...as normal....:tongue:
Cat

[Realist]

Cat, That's what I've always called sex like those who go to glory holes, grabbing a stranger and getting off, mindless base sex, etc, etc.

In my whole life, I have only done that one time, with a German lady. I didn't know her, she didn't know me, we got each other off in the back seat of her car and parted ways. I would have been just as happy masturbating. Emotionless, impersonal, selfish, are words I think as being platonic.

A secretary I used to date was seeing a guy at work. They'd hide away, fuck like a couple of minks in a closet, or unused room, rarely saying anything to each other. Usually they'd do it without saying a word. She called it platonic sex..quick, easy, mindless pleasure, then back to work. She didn't even like the guy, but they certainly knew what the other one needed.

Like FETISH.......PLATONIC is from my own personal dictionary! Hey, I've got my own beat to march to!

Maybe it's a character flaw, but I cannot get interested with being sexual without knowing someone, learning what they like, dislike, and maybe being able to fulfill a fantasy, or two.

[tenni]

Realist's "Platonic Sex"

Cat....I think the other terms might be "Fuck Buddy" or "friend with benefits"...lol

If it is on going, I find it hard to believe that some caring doesn't come into it...just not "mushy" complicated stuff...;)

I can not say that I like the concept of thinking about a "primary" relationship and secondary. There should be another option..but it happens ....as long as things are up front and honest.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ahh, ok. Thank you Gentlemen, I'm less confused now. At least on this subject..lol Pecks to your cheeks.
Cat

[FredinSJ]

http://video.xnxx.com/video407439/mature_orgy_1

If you're resourceful you could organize an OPEN Fam Reunion, all adults, like this movie! Swingers, all!

Be sure to orchestrate the action so it's wise and all parties "can handle the open rltnshp." (Some can't or shouldn't).

-FredInSJ