Partners or L/T fuck buddies?

[mikey3000]

Question here...

I know these two guys who have been together for many years. They have never lived together, but get together just on weekends to hang out and fuck when no one is looking. Both are very closeted, middle aged, unattached (except to eachother). They have lived in separate cities for several years now (200 miles apart), and neither make little attempt to get together often, maybe two or three times a year. And even when they do, they don't share a bed, they'll sneak a quick fuck in the cellar as to not be discovered (though no one else lives in the house), then each retires to separate sleeping quarters, one on a bed in his bedroom, and the other on the sofa (in an eight bedroom house!). They live apart cause of shear choice, not necessity. Their relationship is very secret, not known to either of their families, yet one keeps referring to the other as his partner, and the other just laughs it off and calls the other a boarder. One wants to marry the other, yet the other has made it clear that he will never marry him.

So what you say? Partners or L/T fuck buddies?

[tenni]

Unless you are the one of them who wants to get married (I don't think so ;) ) it shouldn't matter to you. It is an arrangement that seems to work for them. The one who says that he wants to get married is either fantasizing or not recognizing that will not happen...probably. Maybe, that one is not satisfied with the status quo and this will lead ...somewhere?...something? Maybe, like some long term relationships, they have developed a patter of repeated converstations and routine interactions.

[citystyleguy]

...more power to them, to have found what makes them happy; wish more could fine that relationship that makes the world for them!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hey, if it makes Them happy, then so be it. Sounds like both are kinda/sorta happy with the developement as it is, (except for the one who wishes to make it more permanant). Maybe its the thought of the secret, hidden and forbidden rendezvous', the "doing it" right under people's noses(as in the case of the cellar or basement) Maybe doing the sneaky turns both on, who knows. But if it is exciting to them and makes their lives happy, then Spirits bless. :}
Cat, who likes doin the sneaky now and then...lol

[alli_smiles]

I think they can be both. I have been in an uncommited relationship for 10 years now. Definitely friends, bedbuddies, and love grew along the way....But one of us feels it less strongly. I am a big girl, we are both adults, so its ok. We accept that and each see other people, have whole circles of friends/families that don't know boo about "us". Not closeted in that sense, but it does get hard to explain why you aren't living together yet...Though I don't get the sneaking into the cellar part...We joke about keeping the neighbors awake!;).

[Realist]

Sometimes, it's difficult for us to understand how some relationships work. I've actually been in a couple that I didn't fully understand why it turned out so well. All of my relationships with males have been LTRs, but each one was different....some subtle, some almost identical, all but one was rewarding.

I have been in a few less committed relationships with ladies, but have experienced more with them. Still, each relationship has been different.

I am presently in a committed relationship with a lady, who I can't see as often as I'd like. Friends who know about us, have difficulty understanding how it can possible work. I've been advised that it can't work for various reasons, but we have loved each other since 2008 and there's no sign of anything but a stronger union. We may go for a month, or more before getting together, but the stress of not being together is gone the minute we see each other. Friends say I should to get back to reality; there's no way it's gonna work! It's not the best scenario for two who love each other, but sometimes you have to suffer a little to achieve your goals.

I've learned that you can't be the same person in every situation. Maybe it's good to be and act different, as long as you're not sacrificing your principles to be with someone. (I'm afraid I have been guilty of that in the past, though) Being flexible is not a bad thing.

Mikey,

Those two fellows may have a strange relationship, in your eyes, but it may be just what they need.

Alli,

I have been in a similar relationship as yours and know how compelling and rewarding it can be. But only you know what is right for you two and, if it works, that's just a little more spice in life!

[mikey3000]

Thanks all. I appreciate and respect the imput. I still have lots to learn.