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  1. #1

    Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    We are both sure this will generate lots of flaming. What is the difference and what does a cheat or liar have to offer? You can't take care of your own spouse so you look elsewhere. Now comes the excuses.

  2. #2

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    hmm
    This is interesting. You admit that you have set this up to attack in particular bisexuals who are not able to have an open relationship due to their partner not being willing or open to their bisexuality.

    This is not a very positive nor supportive approach for bisexuals to discuss our issues in my opinion. You merely want to attack bisexuals who are not able to live up to your expectations and moral values.

    Let me be the first to flame you. Bless your heart...and I write this with all the love that you deserve...Fuck off.

  3. #3

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    There is no difference. I will never cease to be amazed at some peoples capacity to rationalize their behavior.

  4. #4

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    To me, discrete is when you do not want the outside world to know and cheat is when you don't want your s/o to know.

    The former is not bad, but the latter is bad. There are plenty of Bi couples, straight couples and mixed orientation couples out there that are discrete, but it does not mean that there is cheating going on. In our case, we both try to meet any of the guys that we are interested in, together. It does not always work out that way (when the wife is tired or ill), so the wife sends me off to do the meet and I return and report to her what my feelings are about the guy.

    That is not cheating, but it is discrete.

    Like I said, if the s/o does not know and is kept in the dark about anything even happening (like lying about it), then that is definitely cheating.

  5. #5

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    I say exactly what he says.

  6. #6

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by FalconAngel View Post
    Like I said, if the s/o does not know and is kept in the dark about anything even happening (like lying about it), then that is definitely cheating.
    I suppose many would think it is cheating but how about this:

    Let's say you're older and you and the wife haven't had sex for 6 or 7 years. There's no real desire for it by either of you. The wife has a chronic disease that has taken away her sex drive. You've become more interested in just men, sexually, as you've gotten older so you end up looking for guys to fool around with and succeed now and then.

    You're not looking to move out or leave the wife and you're not dumping your wife emotionally. You just enjoy sex activity with a man on occasion.

    Is that cheating? I suppose by many folks' definition it is, but I just don't see anything wrong with it. No harm. No foul.

  7. #7

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by fredtyg View Post
    I suppose many would think it is cheating but how about this:

    Let's say you're older and you and the wife haven't had sex for 6 or 7 years. There's no real desire for it by either of you. The wife has a chronic disease that has taken away her sex drive. You've become more interested in just men, sexually, as you've gotten older so you end up looking for guys to fool around with and succeed now and then.

    You're not looking to move out or leave the wife and you're not dumping your wife emotionally. You just enjoy sex activity with a man on occasion.

    Is that cheating? I suppose by many folks' definition it is, but I just don't see anything wrong with it. No harm. No foul.

    Yes, it is cheating if she is not aware and approving of it. To not be cheating, the s/o must know and approve.

    When you marry someone, you have taken vows to each other and those vows can only be changed if both of you agree to do so.
    No one can unilaterally change one side of an agreement, so any changes must be agreed upon by both partners.
    Anything else is selfish and disrespectful.

    And remember that if you do it to your partner, then they can (and will) do it to you.

  8. #8

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    To cheat is to inflict emotional harm by not being truthful to your partner. To be discreet one has to be aware of the emotions of all involved. When my husband and I find someone who is right for our relationship we will be discreet due to my job. If one of us goes out every night and is having sex with whom ever we can find, that is a cheat. A cheat does not care about others feelings, someone who is discreet does.
    ----remember to smile .....people will wonder what you're up to!!!!

  9. #9

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    I should clarify my comment. If you say you need to be discreet about what you're doing because you don't want your significant other to find out then it is the same as cheating. If you are discreet to protect your privacy from the rest of the world then that is totally justifiable . How you live your life is no one's business but yours and your significant other, if you have one.

  10. #10

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by fredtyg View Post
    I suppose many would think it is cheating but how about this:

    Let's say you're older and you and the wife haven't had sex for 6 or 7 years. There's no real desire for it by either of you. The wife has a chronic disease that has taken away her sex drive. You've become more interested in just men, sexually, as you've gotten older so you end up looking for guys to fool around with and succeed now and then.

    You're not looking to move out or leave the wife and you're not dumping your wife emotionally. You just enjoy sex activity with a man on occasion.

    Is that cheating? I suppose by many folks' definition it is, but I just don't see anything wrong with it. No harm. No foul.
    All very good points. But let's take it ove step further. What if one partner looses all interest in sex, yet will not grant their partner permission to find it elsewhere because of a vow made 20-30-40 years ago. Is that partner supposed to only masturbate for the rest of their life? Is that acceptable and/or fair to the active partner?

  11. #11

    Thumbs down Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    There IS no difference. Cheating is cheating. Its selfish, thinking only of ones self, and hurtful. Cheating is lying, and how can Anyone ever trust someone if he/she cant even be trusted by their own spouses to be true and truthful. People can justify it all they like by saying "Oh my wife/husband doesnt want sex anymore, and I have needs."
    If you cant trust them on one subject, how can you trust that they are playing safe and clean behind their spouses' back? You cant trust a cheater and you Damn sure cant trust a liar.
    My , deal with it.
    Cat
    I'm tryin' my best to leave a loving foot print on the hearts of the folks who's lives I touch..longly, or briefly..:}
    Minx

    Women and cats will do as they please, so men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
    Robert A. Heinlein

  12. #12

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    All very good points. But let's take it ove step further. What if one partner looses all interest in sex, yet will not grant their partner permission to find it elsewhere because of a vow made 20-30-40 years ago. Is that partner supposed to only masturbate for the rest of their life? Is that acceptable and/or fair to the active partner?
    Good question.

    Let's address that in a logical and reasonable manner, then. Shall we?

    Either you have to be honest with your spouse and communicate or leave the relationship.

    Trying to justify cheating is a pretty lame thing to do to someone who is not cheating on you.
    And, in a case of cheating on someone because they are cheating, or one thinks that they are cheating on one, does not make it better. It loses the moral high ground.

    If you one thinks that one has to cheat, because of an inability to be honest with their s/o then the problem is not the relationship. It is the person who feels the need to cheat.

    Be honest with the s/o and and if one cannot work it out, then one needs to not be with that s/o. In the long term, it is the best way to go.

  13. #13

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    hmm
    This is interesting. You admit that you have set this up to attack in particular bisexuals who are not able to have an open relationship due to their partner not being willing or open to their bisexuality.

    This is not a very positive nor supportive approach for bisexuals to discuss our issues in my opinion. You merely want to attack bisexuals who are not able to live up to your expectations and moral values.

    Let me be the first to flame you. Bless your heart...and I write this with all the love that you deserve...Fuck off.
    Where is the word "bisexual" in the post??

    Anyway, talking about flogging a dead horse.
    First,God created man, then woman, then temptation,then confusion

  14. #14

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    What is really wrong are all the men on this site who suck dick and all the women who eat pussy. Now that is just wrong...lol It much worse than a hetero man cheating with a woman. It is cheating on god and what he put you here on this earth to do. Make babies and only have sex when you are working on having a baby. (written in white and black moral speak
    Last edited by tenni; Jun 4, 2010 at 10:59 PM.

  15. #15

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    hmm
    This is interesting. You admit that you have set this up to attack in particular bisexuals who are not able to have an open relationship due to their partner not being willing or open to their bisexuality.

    This is not a very positive nor supportive approach for bisexuals to discuss our issues in my opinion. You merely want to attack bisexuals who are not able to live up to your expectations and moral values.

    Let me be the first to flame you. Bless your heart...and I write this with all the love that you deserve...Fuck off.
    Um, what? They didn't say anything about it being 'bi-specific'. A spouse or partner not wanting to be in a non-monogamous relationship has nothing to do with not accepting bisexuality and everything to do with not willing to have their partner sleep with other people. Being bi doesn't give you the right to a non-monogamous relationship. Was the OP edited? Sorry if this was sarcasm and I missed it but I don't think it is.

    Quote Originally Posted by FalconAngel View Post
    To me, discrete is when you do not want the outside world to know and cheat is when you don't want your s/o to know.

    The former is not bad, but the latter is bad. There are plenty of Bi couples, straight couples and mixed orientation couples out there that are discrete, but it does not mean that there is cheating going on. In our case, we both try to meet any of the guys that we are interested in, together. It does not always work out that way (when the wife is tired or ill), so the wife sends me off to do the meet and I return and report to her what my feelings are about the guy.

    That is not cheating, but it is discrete.

    Like I said, if the s/o does not know and is kept in the dark about anything even happening (like lying about it), then that is definitely cheating.
    I'd say that being discrete means that you don't advertise or talk about your sexuality in open company. Someone discrete may or may not lie if asked directly. I think it involves not telling certain people in your life for one reason or another. A discrete person (as opposed to closeted) could be someone who is comfortable with their sexuality, but not with their personal affairs being widely known. Just my

    Cheating is doing something sexual without a partner's knowledge or consent. It involves lying, either by saying things that aren't true or not telling them what you're up to.
    "Real Gangsta ass niggas don't flex nuts; cause real gangsta' ass niggas know they got 'em." Geto Boyz (Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta'

  16. #16

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    I agree with the posters that mention the difference between someone keeping their personal business discreet vs. married person cheating on their mate/spouse/lover/whatever....

    One can be discreet and not be a cheater

    One can be discreet and certainly be a cheating on someone.

    and, I guess

    One can cheat on their mate and NOT discreet about it.

    On a side note, I just glad that at least the initial poster, Jackal, spelled the word discreet correctly. The rest, well, its certainly a mixed bag

    For all those that would like to be discrete, unless you're planning on becoming a number anytime soon... or something consisting of separate parts, you really can't be DISCRETE!

    Hmmm.. I wonder if a number could be discreetly discrete?

    dis·creet (dĭ-skrēt')
    adj.
    Marked by, exercising, or showing prudence and wise self-restraint in speech and behavior; circumspect.
    Free from ostentation or pretension; modest.

    dis·crete (dĭ-skrēt')
    adj.
    Constituting a separate thing. See synonyms at distinct.
    Consisting of unconnected distinct parts.
    Mathematics. Defined for a finite or countable set of values; not continuous.

  17. #17

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Just adding my 2 cents worth....

    (No, I'm not in a relationship, so don't think I'm trying to justify actions that I feel guilty about...)

    I've read a few times in this thread the words "causing emotional distress on the partner" (or words to that effect - feel free to use your own synonyms). People say that messing around with other people behind your s/o's back = cheating, and will lead to emotional harm to your s/o.

    People are saying that you should be honest and open about things with your s/o, but some people do not have that option - they know their s/o will not accept it.

    So, the question I'm throwing out there is, does it cause more emotional trauma on the s/o if they break up completely? Is it not, then, better for both partners' emotional well-being if one of them is enjoying some discreet fun on the side?

    Some people's partners will not accept any bisexual leanings of anyone. Yet, you cannot just say "well, they were not a good match in the first place". You love who you love. Even if he/she is closed-minded about some things...

  18. #18

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by RobUK View Post
    Just adding my 2 cents worth....

    (No, I'm not in a relationship, so don't think I'm trying to justify actions that I feel guilty about...)

    I've read a few times in this thread the words "causing emotional distress on the partner" (or words to that effect - feel free to use your own synonyms). People say that messing around with other people behind your s/o's back = cheating, and will lead to emotional harm to your s/o.

    People are saying that you should be honest and open about things with your s/o, but some people do not have that option - they know their s/o will not accept it.

    So, the question I'm throwing out there is, does it cause more emotional trauma on the s/o if they break up completely? Is it not, then, better for both partners' emotional well-being if one of them is enjoying some discreet fun on the side?

    Some people's partners will not accept any bisexual leanings of anyone. Yet, you cannot just say "well, they were not a good match in the first place". You love who you love. Even if he/she is closed-minded about some things...
    I agree with you love who you love. But if you love someone who doesn't want to share you then you need to decide if you love them enough to respect them and stay faithful. It would be the same if two men were married and one said I want to go sleep with a woman. Do you not think the male partner would feel that he wasn't good enough? That he wasn't enough? It's time to realize you can be bisexual and not act on feelings, it's not all about sex.

  19. #19

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Cheating is a package of many things, not just sexual. If my partner cheat with money, she is cheating me, and can not claim the high moral ground.If I drink too much and rub her of a stable life, I'm cheating her and can't claim the high moral ground. So to the people here who take the high moral ground, make sure you have a clean record.
    I can't claim the high moral ground, can you???
    First,God created man, then woman, then temptation,then confusion

  20. #20

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Sorry, but did you say logical? Wouldn't that include gray areas as well? Not everything is so black and white. There are many different types of relationships.

    So are you saying that, if a mutual understanding cannot be worked out, it would be best to leave your elderly, frigid spouse alone and lonely, and quite possibly economically destitute cause she doesn't want to have sex anymore? Never mind that both still have affection for one another and enjoy eachother's company, no sex at all is grounds for separation?

    Remember people, EVERYTHING is justifiable, even murder. Look it up.



    Quote Originally Posted by FalconAngel View Post
    Good question.

    Let's address that in a logical and reasonable manner, then. Shall we?

    Either you have to be honest with your spouse and communicate or leave the relationship.

    Trying to justify cheating is a pretty lame thing to do to someone who is not cheating on you.
    And, in a case of cheating on someone because they are cheating, or one thinks that they are cheating on one, does not make it better. It loses the moral high ground.

    If you one thinks that one has to cheat, because of an inability to be honest with their s/o then the problem is not the relationship. It is the person who feels the need to cheat.

    Be honest with the s/o and and if one cannot work it out, then one needs to not be with that s/o. In the long term, it is the best way to go.

  21. #21

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackal View Post
    I'd say that being discrete means that you don't advertise or talk about your sexuality in open company. Someone discrete may or may not lie if asked directly. I think it involves not telling certain people in your life for one reason or another. A discrete person (as opposed to closeted) could be someone who is comfortable with their sexuality, but not with their personal affairs being widely known. Just my

    Cheating is doing something sexual without a partner's knowledge or consent. It involves lying, either by saying things that aren't true or not telling them what you're up to.
    Exactly.

    Our sexuality and activities are no one's business outside of those within the circle of people that we wish to allow that intimate knowledge to be known.

    That is being discrete.

    My wife knows about my sexuality and we have a plan all worked out about it. Now if something changes between us as far as sexual desires, then we can sit down and discuss the issue and work something out. This prevents cheating.

  22. #22
    Coastocoast
    Guest

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    I have always insisted when looking for a guy that they are discrete because I do not want the world I do business in to know that I am bisexual. I would describe this as discrete but I am not willing to be a cheat or be with anyone who is. I always insist when I look for any person of either gender that the person has no body else they are married to, living with or seeing in any way on any level. I will mention that this belief has often kept me alone for longer than I wanted to be but so be it.

  23. #23

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    For me, being discreet meant I operated withing the rules my husband and I had set when I revealed my bi-sexuality.
    After a lot of negotiation, compromise and heart-searching, it operated along the lines of "don't ask, don't tell."

    Cheating was when (I admit I did) operate outside the rules. He had no idea, but I had to shoulder the guilt.

    Cheating is cheating - its not nice: its an emotional cancer in the long run.

  24. #24

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Sorry, but did you say logical? Wouldn't that include gray areas as well? Not everything is so black and white. There are many different types of relationships.
    There is always one that thinks the rules of common decency and respect do not apply to them, because it interferes with their selfish desires. My son's mother is one of them; Lie, cheat, steal; do whatever it takes to get what you want. Eventually, it comes back to bite you in the ass. Like she eventually found out.

    Yes, there are different types of relationships, but this is not the movies or TV dramas. This is the real world, in which there are no scriptwriters that suddenly make everything okay.

    Simple rule; if your s/o does not know of and approve/give the go ahead, then it is cheating.

    It is that black and white. There is no gray area in that. And no excuse for cheating.


    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    So are you saying that, if a mutual understanding cannot be worked out, it would be best to leave your elderly, frigid spouse alone and lonely, and quite possibly economically destitute cause she doesn't want to have sex anymore? Never mind that both still have affection for one another and enjoy each other's company, no sex at all is grounds for separation?

    Well, if the relationship is not working and the love is gone (indicated by the intent to cheat), then the only realistic option is to go your separate ways.

    I never said that there were no repercussions, but if you have to be the "bad guy", by leaving the relationship, to find your happiness, at least you are not the "dirt-bag" cheater who screwed around on his spouse.


    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Remember people, EVERYTHING is justifiable, even murder. Look it up.
    Maybe in your dictionary, but not amongst society, as a whole. There are a lot of murderers on death row that would argue your point as well.

    And before you use war as a justification, think again, since that is a whole different thing from cheating on your spouse.

  25. #25

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    I agree that the 'discrete' definition given by many on here is the ideal.

    But when a person's ad says they need to be discrete, that's code for "I don't want my wife to find out.' We all know that's what is meant.

    Cheat. Discrete. Name games don't change the issues.

    Pasa

  26. #26

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by FalconAngel View Post
    Well, if the relationship is not working and the love is gone (indicated by the intent to cheat), then the only realistic option is to go your separate ways...


    ...Maybe in your dictionary, but not amongst society, as a whole. There are a lot of murderers on death row that would argue your point as well.

    And before you use war as a justification, think again, since that is a whole different thing from cheating on your spouse.
    Who said the love was gone? There are many aspects to a relationship, sex being just one. Should 100% of all relationships be based on sex alone and not include friendship or affection? And that sex should just be with the one you love? If so, they why do YOU have sex with others (consentual or not)? As you state, you and your spouse do have sex with others. Why? Are you two in a loving, comitted relationship with everyone you two sleep with? Many people feel that even consent from your spouse does not give you the right to sleep around. Your open lifestyle can easily be judged by others too, and actually is.

    And for the record:

    justifiable homicide n. a killing without evil or criminal intent, for which there can be no blame, such as self-defense to protect oneself or to protect another, or the shooting by a law enforcement officer in fulfilling his/her duties. This is not to be confused with a crime of passion or claim of diminished capacity which refer to defenses aimed at reducing the penalty or degree of crime. (See: homicide, self-defense)

    There's my dictionary. Pretty standard. LOys of people who have killed are walking around free too. Justifiable homicide.

  27. #27

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Who said the love was gone? There are many aspects to a relationship, sex being just one. Should 100% of all relationships be based on sex alone and not include friendship or affection? And that sex should just be with the one you love? If so, they why do YOU have sex with others (consentual or not)? As you state, you and your spouse do have sex with others. Why? Are you two in a loving, comitted relationship with everyone you two sleep with?
    Ahh, here we go. First of all, supporting the dishonest act of cheating automatically lost you the high ground in this argument. A relationship that is not honest is not a relationship, so by saying that you feel the need to cheat says, quite factually, that you do not have a real relationship.

    a relationship without honesty and integrity is no relationship at all. You argument FOR cheating is all backwards. Sex outside of the relationship is cheating as long as your partner knows nothing about it and it would cause them hurt, or anger towards you, if they found out about it.


    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Many people feel that even consent from your spouse does not give you the right to sleep around. Your open lifestyle can easily be judged by others too, and actually is.
    What others are judging our relationship? You?
    You are not in a position to judge, since all of your words seem to say that you do not have an open and honest relationship with your s/o and hide your actions from them for fear of repercussion from them.

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    And for the record:

    justifiable homicide n. a killing without evil or criminal intent, for which there can be no blame, such as self-defense to protect oneself or to protect another, or the shooting by a law enforcement officer in fulfilling his/her duties. This is not to be confused with a crime of passion or claim of diminished capacity which refer to defenses aimed at reducing the penalty or degree of crime. (See: homicide, self-defense)

    There's my dictionary. Pretty standard. LOys of people who have killed are walking around free too. Justifiable homicide.
    Okay, the "justifiable homicide" argument. Since we are not talking the law, your argument is way out of context. And just to address that, argument, in case you want to drag that out, people who have committed "justifiable homicide" have to live with that stain on their heart, mind and soul for the rest of their lives. Unless one has no conscience whatsoever, that has it's own punishment.

    Your argument has no real bearing in this context. Epic fail, but nice try, anyway.

  28. #28

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by katz368923 View Post
    To cheat is to inflict emotional harm by not being truthful to your partner. To be discreet one has to be aware of the emotions of all involved. When my husband and I find someone who is right for our relationship we will be discreet due to my job. If one of us goes out every night and is having sex with whom ever we can find, that is a cheat. A cheat does not care about others feelings, someone who is discreet does.
    Your notion of discretion certainly sounds right, but your definition of cheating sounds suspiciously like it implies "it's not cheating if you don't get caught".

    If you sneak extra aces into your hand (to better your hand) while playing poker, it is cheating, regardless of whether emotional harm is inflicted and regardless of whether you get caught. In fact, some would say that not getting caught is simply "cheating well" as opposed to "cheating poorly". Any cheater who actually gives a rat's ass about getting caught is discreet!

    Cheating is simply trying to get away with breaking the rules. As Mikey points out, there are times when that is more or less justified, but it's still cheating, and could almost always be handled differently.

    And NEPHX...bless you for pointing out the difference between discretion and discreteness.
    I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)

  29. #29

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by FalconAngel View Post
    Ahh, here we go. First of all, supporting the dishonest act of cheating automatically lost you the high ground in this argument. A relationship that is not honest is not a relationship, so by saying that you feel the need to cheat says, quite factually, that you do not have a real relationship.

    a relationship without honesty and integrity is no relationship at all. You argument FOR cheating is all backwards. Sex outside of the relationship is cheating as long as your partner knows nothing about it and it would cause them hurt, or anger towards you, if they found out about it.




    What others are judging our relationship? You?
    You are not in a position to judge, since all of your words seem to say that you do not have an open and honest relationship with your s/o and hide your actions from them for fear of repercussion from them.



    Okay, the "justifiable homicide" argument. Since we are not talking the law, your argument is way out of context. And just to address that, argument, in case you want to drag that out, people who have committed "justifiable homicide" have to live with that stain on their heart, mind and soul for the rest of their lives. Unless one has no conscience whatsoever, that has it's own punishment.

    Your argument has no real bearing in this context. Epic fail, but nice try, anyway.
    LOL!! Dude, you didn't answer any of my points at all, you just deflected and declared an epic fail.

    Where did I say I support the act of cheating? Again you twist the words to your liking. I support a person's right to do what they feel is necessary, given their circumstance, THEIR CHOICE, get it? I have no arguement for cheating. I agrue for freedom of choice.

    And no, I'm not judging your relationship, as I'm in a very similar situation. Been with my wife for 23 years now and with my male half for just over a year now. I've mentioned it all over the place here. The point is that WE as people in open relationships are judged by main stream society every day, like it or not. But you are right on one point, I'm not in a position to judge others, so I don't. You, on the other hand, do at every chance you get. See the difference?

    So you don't like my definition of justifiable because we aren't talking about murder? Not talking about the law you say? Well what is the #1 reason people get divorced (another legal action)? Infidelity (or, if you like, cheating). And a legal defence (justification) to infidelity is frigidity.

    When one person in a marriage rejects all sexual advances from their spouse for an extended period of time, or is declared frigid (yes, a medical term) by a medical professional, then that person has no right to petition for divorce on the grounds on infidelity if they catch their spouse cheating. The act of marriage is contract between the two implying a sexual relationship, and if one breaks that contract the agreement is considered voidable (divorce or annulment). That, my good friend ,is called justification. Very appropriate in this context.

    So my position isn't a fail. Cheating is happening all over the place, even on this site. Just peruse the public profiles and see all the requests for "discretion". You and I are in the minority. We are lucky and should be very thankful. I am, and want to help others find their way and hopefully come out to their spouses honestly, but within their own time frame. I don't cast stones at them for not being just like me.
    Last edited by mikey3000; Jun 6, 2010 at 7:41 PM. Reason: spelling.

  30. #30

    Re: Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    hmm
    This is interesting. You admit that you have set this up to attack in particular bisexuals who are not able to have an open relationship due to their partner not being willing or open to their bisexuality.

    This is not a very positive nor supportive approach for bisexuals to discuss our issues in my opinion. You merely want to attack bisexuals who are not able to live up to your expectations and moral values.

    Let me be the first to flame you. Bless your heart...and I write this with all the love that you deserve...Fuck off.
    I have to agree with Tenni.
    It's not nice to go and poke sticks in a hornets nest just for shits and giggles.
    I hope you get stung.

 

 

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