I wish I knew how to determine if a friend or someone i know may have intrests in man or want to try something with a man, but do not know how to approach it to find out with out taking the risk of spoiling a friendship, or being too exposed about it. Some guys know how to "read the signs" or make a hint that opens the door, but i do not know . any input on this will be appreciated
the best advice that could be given, is simply, if you can not tell, it can be better not to risk the friendship.... and that runs the risk of you being outed, which is something that is never good if you are not interested in being out as a bisexual
teaching people how to read body language is not as easy as it sounds, so a quicker way is to listen to their reactions about LGBT issues..... if they are truthful about their thoughts and feelings, their responses will be the same as any other issue they have firm views on.... if the way they express them, are different to the way they express views on other things, they may be hiding something..... and I am not talking about the words they use but their reactions......
it still doesn't mean that they are bisexual, it simply means that there is more to their viewpoint than they are letting on.......
The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands
* void reads LDD's body language, wanders off to fetch Punjabi food, Irish beer, Turkish smokes and a big comfy blanket off an Indian loom. He returns moments later with a cup of hot oolong tea for everyone, points out in the hallway to the silent tea man pushing his even more silent cart. void nods, winks mouthing the words, "bastard was hard to catch". *
Well, body language is all. It also depends on which kind of guys you like, if he knows you are into guys, he will be more prone to tell you that he likes them too. You can ask him, first joking like this:
(You are talking about the subject of your bisexuality)
- And, cmon, be honest, you are telling me that you NEVER got turned on or at least curious about being with a guy??
Answer 1: Yes, I have --> Elaborate on his answer by asking more questions.
Answer 2: No, I haven't --> Look at his face, if you think he's being honest, leave it alone, he is straight and you can't risk it.
If the conversation starts to lean into specifics about "what, where, in what, with what and with whom", then it's most likely that he is open to the idea of having sex with a guy. And we have to go to the next step:
If you already know that he's into guys, then skip the first step.
You have to find out then if he is into you. The best way to found out is to get him into a place where he feels comfortable, a party with your close friends is the best way to go. Alcohol, a little bit of pot, always helps.
Once everyone is comfortable, you have to talk to him alone, this doesn't mean that you should take him away, this means that you should have a one on one conversation with him. Start talking with him, flirting, and see how he reacts. Eye contact is a good sign always, if you are good at reading facial expressions, you will notice the signs quickly. Then you can try some contact, touch his shoulder, or stroke his hair casually like if you were petting a dog (don't do it if he's a hair freak that's always taking care of it). If he reacts well, you can start approaching him, like, move closer and then you can try kissing him.
Good luck!!
For a serious answer, call whomever it is aside and ask privately. Explain you will not be upset if he does not have interest. Explain you are not going to stalk him, or make inappropriate remarks, gestures toward him. And don't. If he is not interested let it go at that. Sometimes polite and discrete directness is a good approach.
As alluded to above, it is much easier to find out about someone else if he or she already knows you have bisexual interests. They might then approach you to discuss it without you having to say anything.
In lieu of that, assuming you don't want to out yourself to find out about him, being open about supporting LGBT issues like gay marriage would at least set his mind at ease if he is a closeted bi guy. If he goes so far as to indicate that same strong support of LGBT issues, then I'd think it would be safe to assume he might not be too offended by being asked about his sexuality.
As far as I know, there's no real way of telling if an otherwise straight looking guy is homo by looks, aside from hints already given such as eye contact. Something to consider, though, is whether a guy brings up homo stuff fairly often. Just as with drugs, if someone talks about something a lot, that means there's something going on in regards that something.
Used to work with a guy that talked about illegal drug use all the time (hey, I'm cool, Used to do them a lot myself). He talked in jest but I knew he was a druggie because he brought it up all the time. He ended up being fired for that drug use.
Same with a good friend who frequently made derisive comments about homos. He did it fairly often. One day as we were talking and he'd just made some anti- homo joke (he didn't know I was queer), he got quiet all of the sudden, then said, "You know, they say guys who run down queers the most are often queer themselves". I simply smiled and replied, "Yep. That's what they say". He didn't say anything else so I left it at that.
He's moved out of the area since then but I still wonder if he was trying to tell me something?
Say "Did you hear on the news about men being better at sucking cock than women?", while sucking a lollypop suggestively and winking like in the 70's.
Well it would def put the idea into his head, and if not interested .......it's just a joke!lol
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