Originally Posted by
Darkside2009
In order for your Counsellor to be of any help to you, she needs to know what and how you are feeling. Just as a doctor needs to know the relevant symptoms in order to diagnose the illness and prescribe medication.
So you really need to be open and honest with her as to how you feel, just as you have told us here. Her role is not to judge, but to help you resolve the emotional issues you have been having.
You are young in age, your hormones will be active, so it is quite natural that you should be thinking of sex a lot of the time and want to be in a relationship.
Watching a lot of porn is apt to give you a distorted view of what a relationship entails, in that respect it is not really true to life. It is just meant to stimulate the imagination.
On reading your posts here, and your profile, where you speak of taking a bullet, no one expects anyone to take a bullet to prove their devotion to a relationship. A relationship is about sharing experiences together and of bringing to that relationship the individual elements that make up you as an individual, merging those with the elements a partner brings, to the mutual enjoyment of you both.
You say that you have few friends, but many people have few friends, that is quite normal. If you are starting University soon, that will provide an opportunity for you to make new friends, establish new relationships and discover new interests to occupy your mind.
When your Mother sees that you are despondent and asks if you have remembered to take your medication, she is not asking in order to annoy you. She is concerned for your health and welfare. She brought you into this World to be happy and healthy, it is love for you, her daughter, that causes her concern. She and your father have no doubt spent many sleepless nights worrying about how best to help you achieve that happiness that all of us desire.
We do not live our lives in isolation, they touch upon many other lives, whether it be parents, friends or siblings. If we did not exist their lives would be diminished.
Remember the parable of the Good Samaritan who found the man injured and robbed by the side of the road? He did not know this man personally, but he took this man to accommodation and ensured that his wounds were taken care of at his expense. He recognised that they both shared a common humanity, a duty to love and cherish each other. He recognised that this injured man had friends and family who loved and cherished him, and had need of him in their lives. He recognised a common bond.
At times I have felt depressed in life, just as everyone does. On these occasions I like to watch one of my favourite films, it is called, 'A Wonderful Life' and stars Jimmy Stewart. His character too is suicidal and wishes he had never been born, he is granted his wish and is given a brief insight into how his life had affected others, and how those lives, in turn, affected yet others in a ripple effect.
He comes to realise that he is not alone in this life and is loved and cherished by those whose lives he touches.
You didn't know anyone here before you posted your thread, yet they have responded to you in common humanity, with kindness and concern. You have touched their lives and they have touched yours. The ripple effect.
There are professional people out there, who are willing, and able, to help you, all you need do is ask for their help and tell them of your concerns and feelings. Let them help you back on the path toward a more happy and fulfilled life.
I hope you feel more positive about your life soon.
God bless.
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