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  1. #31

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    lol Guys..and lady Kate. Look at the wording, and see where it was leading. Do you see the pattern there? I wondered when n2 was gunna show his true colors and he did. And he pulled people down with him. He accomplished what he Always does...stir up trouble.
    Not All older men are gunna 'turn' bi or gay, same for us women. Not All of us are gunna run out and turn lesbian on accounta bad marriages and menopause or turn into Cougars. That's sterotyping and profiling.
    Ya'll have some great opinions, so lets discuss, not cuss...ok? :}
    Cat
    I'm tryin' my best to leave a loving foot print on the hearts of the folks who's lives I touch..longly, or briefly..:}
    Minx

    Women and cats will do as they please, so men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
    Robert A. Heinlein

  2. #32

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by Cherokee_Mountaincat View Post
    lol Guys..and lady Kate. Look at the wording, and see where it was leading. Do you see the pattern there? I wondered when n2 was gunna show his true colors and he did. And he pulled people down with him. He accomplished what he Always does...stir up trouble.
    Not All older men are gunna 'turn' bi or gay, same for us women. Not All of us are gunna run out and turn lesbian on accounta bad marriages and menopause or turn into Cougars. That's sterotyping and profiling.
    Ya'll have some great opinions, so lets discuss, not cuss...ok? :}
    Cat
    if guys turn bi cos their women folk are supposedly no longer perfect..... does the reverse work as well...... ladies become bi cos they get tired of lacklustre 2 minute sex with a half limp dick attached to a man with a beer gut ?????

    seriously, there are many older people that have come from a generation where sex was never discussed....and into a generation, where its discussed, studied, photographed, videoed etc....... and they have the freedom to start to be who they are.........
    that to me makes more sense than n2b&d's theory that his blow up doll developed wrinkles
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  3. #33

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    ...well i cant say that i have come across any thing that in anyway supports this thread headliner, other than the old adage that men will do all sorts of radically different things out-of-character when they hit middle age. as to the crap about women being the cause, that male-centric excuse is a whole load of shit!!! like mel gibson on his anti-semetic, racist ranting can be blamed on alcohol!!!

    if it is a to believed that men now reaching their 50's and suddenly being bitten by that bi-bug, well as someone said further up in the thread, it may come from growing up in an age that said men are men, and anything else should be shot that doesnt walk, talk, and fuck like a straight dude (hell, straight in those days referred only to a ruler, or a plumb line, sure as hell not any reference to sexuality!).

    as for myself, i grew up as a young dude totally confused; i got a hard-on for my song leader girlfriend and her gf's, as well as by my swim buddies; at that time the only other recognized sexuality than straight was gay, so what the hell was i???? slowly, as i realized that everything at large was as screwed up as i was, didnt know what the hell they were talking about, etc. i said f ' the lot of them, and dove right into what is now nicely titled bi-sexual; so nice of the world to give yet another label, hope it makes them sleep well at night.

    as for me, give me a guy to love, indulge, screw with like rabbits, and give me a woman for the same, the rest of the world can spend their time making tidy little boxes, adorable little labels, figuring why after a lifetime, someone slams on the brakes, does a big u-turn in the highway of life, in order to try something else!

    all i ask is that for those who are in your life, you talk to them, include them as much as they can accept in your new life, and do the right thing, as needed, for them.

    well that's my

    now it's time for this older dude to fine me some guy and....
    Last edited by citystyleguy; Jul 8, 2010 at 2:34 AM. Reason: sentence structure
    get in! sit down! hold on! and shut up!

  4. #34

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I satisfied my bisexual desires for the first time when I was 49...I had always been curious, but had never actively searched it out, as I was completely satisfied with my wife.

    We had kids late in life and she had an early menopause. Her sex drive diminished completely, and child rearing kept her exhausted while I was a workaholic. Opportunity for sex disappeared.

    During our 40s we aged quickly and we saw our parents become physical wrecks with old age.

    I honestly believe many older men, realizing their own demise, turn up he heat on their own sexuality and turn to other women, prostitutes, or other men...whichever is easiest to hide.

    The internet has made man to man contact available and easy. Mornings when I'm awake and my wife sleeps, I have wandered to male sites to satify my visual curiosity and chat rooms have led to clandestine trysts.

    I have met so many men with a similar story to mine...I'm amazed that it has not become more discussed in the news.

    And BTW, I have worked with alot of young people and they are so much more open to bi/gay experiences than I was at that age.

  5. #35

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    if guys turn bi cos their women folk are supposedly no longer perfect..... does the reverse work as well...... ladies become bi cos they get tired of lacklustre 2 minute sex with a half limp dick attached to a man with a beer gut ?????

    seriously, there are many older people that have come from a generation where sex was never discussed....and into a generation, where its discussed, studied, photographed, videoed etc....... and they have the freedom to start to be who they are.........
    that to me makes more sense than n2b&d's theory that his blow up doll developed wrinkles
    ROFLMAO

  6. #36

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    LMAO LDD, you are So bad. D and I were discussing something similar concerning blow up dolls...Oh lord, now my ribs hurt from laughing..
    Cat
    I'm tryin' my best to leave a loving foot print on the hearts of the folks who's lives I touch..longly, or briefly..:}
    Minx

    Women and cats will do as they please, so men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
    Robert A. Heinlein

  7. #37

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    "It is one thing to examine the claims of X in a responsible way by calling attention to .... scientific criticisms, it is quite another to violate the key humanistic principle of tolerance."

    "We would protest the lack of respect for alternative views in a democratic society."

    http://www.centerforinquiry.net/blog...lashphemy_day/

  8. #38

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Probably already been said but...

    YOU DO GET YOUNG BI MEN TOO!
    I'm only 26, and been out to myself as bi since 20, but realised I was bi since as long as I can remember really.

    I would only guess it's as much a sign of the times thing - people tend to be more open about sexuality these days.
    beautifully non-discriminatory
    It's not just black and white, but many beautiful shades of gray

  9. #39

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    "It is one thing to examine the claims of X in a responsible way by calling attention to .... scientific criticisms, it is quite another to violate the key humanistic principle of tolerance."

    "We would protest the lack of respect for alternative views in a democratic society."

    http://www.centerforinquiry.net/blog...lashphemy_day/
    So you wish for us to tolerate the rantings of a troll who purposely made misogynistic comments regarding women being the cause of older onset bisexuality? You call the fact that we were repulsed by his statements as intolerance? I call it defending women against the rants of a troublemaker. We all know he did this on purpose...I do not defend the rights of others who purposely put down an entire gender just to stir up dissension.
    Last edited by csrakate; Jul 8, 2010 at 4:49 PM.
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

    C. S. Lewis

  10. #40

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    It is not what your wrote Kate that the quotes are for. It is for what was written after. A person may disagree with another person without labelling them and blaming their thoughts because they must be X or Y. That rational has been used fairly frequently here to quiet dissenting views. The quote is a general quote asking for real tolerance and not tolerance for those who agree with you. It is one thing to politely disagree with another person and another to ridicule them personally for holding that view.
    Last edited by tenni; Jul 8, 2010 at 5:15 PM.

  11. #41

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Let me throw this out there from my expierence---Having done the traditional thing of girl friends,wives(three), I find that the excitement really does get less as you get older. When you first start dating, and having sex, it is all great and exciting, then comes marriage, and you look for ways to spice it up, public places, sex toys, whatever your choice. Then you get sort of "been there done that" and she doesn't want to get "really out there" anymore. So you look for that outlet that might give you that excitement. Maybe you could have an afair, but unless she's bi, or 19, once again it's the same.
    Don't belive it has so much to do with a woman's look, as it does what she will do, or not do?? If I could find a woman willing to do the bi, group, role playing thing, I could look over a lot.if she could look over my flaws...
    And guys, have you looked in the mirror lately??
    So finally, the one thing left to fill our urge to have that excitiment back, we turn to playing with our own??

  12. #42

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by Bi_Druid View Post
    Probably already been said but...

    YOU DO GET YOUNG BI MEN TOO!
    I'm only 26, and been out to myself as bi since 20, but realised I was bi since as long as I can remember really.

    I would only guess it's as much a sign of the times thing - people tend to be more open about sexuality these days.
    You are right on it, times are so much different now,

  13. #43

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Very interesting thread.
    For me, I am 58. I have been bi all of my life.....I donot understand "turning bi". It has always been in my mind. The first guy I saw naked, I had sexual feelings about...likewise with females......I was very young when all these feelings were happening......and my family constantly drilled in me, how wrong it was for men to want men sexually........and I had no understanding of why it was wrong...it felt good when I thought of sex with men or women......They had no clue I was "bi". I would have had heck to pay if they did know......
    But all I can tell you is I wanted sex with men and women.
    That is the way I have been since my first remeberances of sexual thoughts......and still is that way today....
    I can not relate to older guys turning bi. I have never been anything else.....
    I am a true bi, in that I love sex equally with male and female...I love both......
    That is just me......

  14. #44

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by 53bimale View Post
    Very interesting thread.
    For me, I am 58. I have been bi all of my life.....I donot understand "turning bi". It has always been in my mind. The first guy I saw naked, I had sexual feelings about...likewise with females......I was very young when all these feelings were happening......and my family constantly drilled in me, how wrong it was for men to want men sexually........and I had no understanding of why it was wrong...it felt good when I thought of sex with men or women......They had no clue I was "bi". I would have had heck to pay if they did know......
    But all I can tell you is I wanted sex with men and women.
    That is the way I have been since my first remeberances of sexual thoughts......and still is that way today....
    I can not relate to older guys turning bi. I have never been anything else.....
    I am a true bi, in that I love sex equally with male and female...I love both......
    That is just me......
    This is my story too with the exception that I didn't know anything about the label "bi" when I was so young. I just thought you were either gay or straight. I knew I liked women so I wasn't gay. Besides back when I was very young I was told it wasn't right to be gay. In my early 40's I had the opportunity to be with a man and it felt so right. I knew then I was bisexual. It confirmed those feelings I've had since I was so young were true. I didn't "turn" bi, I've been bi all my life.
    BiBoz49 Live in the moment

  15. #45

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I had been bi curious while serving in the navy but was way too nervous about the whole thing. In 1972 being bi or gay while serving in the military was out of the question, immediate discharge. It wasn't until 5-6 yrs ago did I come out to my wife that I was bi curious which I would have never done if I didn't have some idea of what her reaction would be. I suppose one of the biggest reasons why so many of us 50+ yr old men are now starting to come out, is because of the internet and the availablility of finding other bi men like us in the same situation and close enough to possibly meet. I was curious for 30yrs.....

  16. #46

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by Biboz49 View Post
    This is my story too with the exception that I didn't know anything about the label "bi" when I was so young. I just thought you were either gay or straight. I knew I liked women so I wasn't gay. Besides back when I was very young I was told it wasn't right to be gay. In my early 40's I had the opportunity to be with a man and it felt so right. I knew then I was bisexual. It confirmed those feelings I've had since I was so young were true. I didn't "turn" bi, I've been bi all my life.

    Discovered my sexual attraction for men was real when I was 33, 5 yrs ago. And it was because of the opportunity of the internet to explore my sexuality that I discovered about it. And learned a great deal more than I had ever imagined!

    Unfortunately, I had bought into the model of: you're either gay or you're straight. And because my attractions for women were real and my emotions intense; I presumed my attractions for men were of the mind. With the internet, I realized that I was entirely misinformed.

    Perhaps, that's the reason more men today are learning more of their sexuality. Learning that there isn't a one size fits all model for men. You can like women; you can like men; you can like both!

  17. #47

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I have always been bi but I didn't have much of an occasion to have any encounters.My first encounter was when I was 18 and had just joined the Navy.I was in a small bar in Washington DC and a couple of men in their late forties or early fifty offered to by me a couple of beers.Being young I had no tolerance to alcohol and in very short order I was drunk.They offered to give me a place to stay for the night and they would show me the sights the next day.To make a long story short,we went to their house had more to drink,another friend showed up,I half passed out and they wound up fucking and sucking me for the rest of the night.Needless to say my first anal experience was not pleasant after three guys took turns on me all night but the experience woke something in me.A few weeks later I searched out another relationship and continued doing this for a few years.I finally got married and I was satisfied with a relationship with my wife but when I turned fifty I started to have occasional encounters. I still enjoy a m/m relationship altho it is not as often as I would like.

  18. #48

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by loveatl View Post
    Just wondering why most bi-men are over 50, most of which are married, semmed to all of a sudden want to be with another guy, in some way or another.
    Did this come to the front, because of age---can they not find a female now, that turns them on---or is it something that as been there all along, but society didnt accept it till they got old enough not to care---
    Were they afraid of being called gay infront of their friends--
    Can you really be bi at 50 and not at 20? Maybe people are more open now?
    Just curious, because I find myself in the same sitituation. Have always thought of being with another guy, since the first time I was a teen. But never acted on it. Now that I am older, want to try it again.
    I am so confused??
    You can be straight and realize your bisexual side later in life. Or you can be bisexual and repress it until later in life. Or like me you can have been bisexual all your life. I have always been turned on by both sexes. As I aged I realized that I developed loving feelings with guys easier than I did earlier in life. Early in life it was more about sex with guys, but now eventhough it is still about sex with guys, it is easier to recognize that I am falling for a guy if the chemistry is there.

    I hope this helps answer some of your questions.


  19. #49

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Great thread!... at 49, I can look back with considerable wisdom, experience, and wiser perspective: I first became aware of my bisexual desires and interests in my 20's, I didn't act upon them until my 30's... trial and error, I did find a growing desire to include both men and women in my sexual experiences, and I gradually felt more comfortable seeking out ways to include my bi aspect in some way, shape or form.

    Now, in my 40's, I'm more confident and experienced, and I'm more willing to drop the whole story line (my own) that I had no alternative but to accept what I thought society expected of me in terms of expressing and enjoying my sexuality.... discovering that some women are indeed turned on by my bisexuality was a nice discovery... further, discovering that there are other men out there who feel (as I do) very drawn and attracted to women but also very interested in other men in terms of honest and , this was a breakthrough as well...

    Now, when I view erotic images of either gender, I'm not at all shy about embracing what I enjoy: beautiful men together with beautiful women!

  20. #50

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    For me I think i've known I was bi since I was 16, but I was much more interested in girls at this time so I didn't pay to much attention to those feelings. As I got to my mid 20's, those feeling started getting more stronger, I started watching Transexual porn and finding it very arousing, then i watched a scene where 2 men had sex with each other and lost my load without even touching myself. I continued to date women til my last girlfriend left me when i was 35. At this point in my life having sex with a man was about the only thing i was thinking about. So i told myself it's now or never and had my first sexual encounter with a man. It showed me what i knew all along since i was 16, i was bi or maybe even gay. Since then i've only been with men, but i am still open to have sex with women. At 43, i'm finally comfortable in my own skin and i'm much happier now.

  21. #51

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    After my marriage of 25yrs ended I was 49 & had some bi fantasies mostly about me & another man having sex with my wife did I actively seek a bi man for sex. I did when I was 18 have a male friend same age & we would give each other oral but we keep it to ourselfes. After geting a girlfriend & then married, I had no real urge to have any type of sex with men. I love woman & still would perfer to have a long term relationship with one woman. The frist man i meet for sex was enjoyable & just about sex, I really liked doing oral on him & having him cum in my mouth was great. For the last 4 yrs I have only had sex with men, & one time with a m/f couple the guy was bi & we had a great time but finding bi couples is not that easy. I don't cruise around, I find someone & try to keep it going aslong as I can. My last friend started me into crossdressing & anal & Iam surprised how much I like it. The sex is so straight forward but Iam starting to think more about ending my male sex & find I new female partner. I think finding a woman that is ok with a bimale partner is going to be very hard to find.

  22. #52

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    This is a very helpful topic and a question I have asked myself. For me, it was a case of "that which you resist persists". I had fantasies as a teenager but only once came close to an actual encounter. I have always felt a greater attraction to women and am happily married. The attraction for me to a man is in being able to feel submissive and more female myself. It is the yin and yang of it that is so great. I waited until later in life to act on it because of shame and fear and inconvenience. When the internet made it easy to communicate anonymously, I found it easier to find interesting people. I am still confused about my identity and enjoy learning that I am not alone.

  23. #53

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I apologize to the ladies for the misogynist attitude of the weak males. Some men are not big enough to accept responsibility for their sexual inadequacy. They feel compelled to blame their actions on women. I don't feel men "turn" bi at a certain age. By age 35 I found it much easier to consider sexual behaviors. I discovered how joyful the experience is, on EITHER side of the dick! I believe sexual fears and hangups tend to diminish with age. Eating a fresh cream pie is THE bisexual Eden!
    Last edited by abcxyz; Jul 10, 2010 at 10:15 PM. Reason: added idea

  24. #54

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    This thread kept running through my head all afternoon as I was out wacking weeds - plants not the guy Weed

    ps Weed - pls call, missing ya!

    It made me wonder are we talking about 50 yr old guys today or ?

    What were 50 yr north american guys doing in 1945, 1955, 1965, 1975??
    Is this a cultural shift or something that has been us since the caves. when the older males (can't compete in the breeding pool) find deeper (and I am talking very deep) friendship with other males

    As a 50s bi male, growing up in parochial school in the midwest (9 siblings) variant sexual behaviour was NOT an issue
    since sex did not exist, there was not need for variation <g>

    for my kids, (canadian public school) sexual identity is something you are given just as you have blue eyes or brown - not a choice

    we learn from our children as much as we teach them anything

    perhaps as noted - a more general acceptance variant sexual identity makes it easier for us - current 50 bi males to accept ourselves

    For me as others have stated, my bi sexuality is a theme interwoven through life story - but definitely feels stronger now - or maybe I am just feel more able to explore it

    just don't tell my kids! maybe the next incarnation.
    wudi




    Quote Originally Posted by bibliss View Post
    Great thread!... at 49, I can look back with considerable wisdom, experience, and wiser perspective: I first became aware of my bisexual desires and interests in my 20's, I didn't act upon them until my 30's... trial and error, I did find a growing desire to include both men and women in my sexual experiences, and I gradually felt more comfortable seeking out ways to include my bi aspect in some way, shape or form.

    Now, in my 40's, I'm more confident and experienced, and I'm more willing to drop the whole story line (my own) that I had no alternative but to accept what I thought society expected of me in terms of expressing and enjoying my sexuality.... discovering that some women are indeed turned on by my bisexuality was a nice discovery... further, discovering that there are other men out there who feel (as I do) very drawn and attracted to women but also very interested in other men in terms of honest and , this was a breakthrough as well...

    Now, when I view erotic images of either gender, I'm not at all shy about embracing what I enjoy: beautiful men together with beautiful women!

  25. #55

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I'm 45. I've wanted to have sex with men since my late teens, but I never did until I was 35. I had been married for 10 years and recently divorced. Had the time, opportunity, and no reason not to. Sex with guys was great, but in relationships, people are people, whether male or female.
    I got remarried (to a woman) and we've been together since. And now I'm back looking to hook-up with a guy again.

  26. #56

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by loveatl View Post
    Just wondering why most bi-men are over 50, most of which are married, semmed to all of a sudden want to be with another guy, in some way or another.
    Did this come to the front, because of age---can they not find a female now, that turns them on---or is it something that as been there all along, but society didnt accept it till they got old enough not to care---
    Were they afraid of being called gay infront of their friends--
    Can you really be bi at 50 and not at 20? Maybe people are more open now?
    Just curious, because I find myself in the same sitituation. Have always thought of being with another guy, since the first time I was a teen. But never acted on it. Now that I am older, want to try it again.
    I am so confused??
    all of the above. 30 yrs ago when they or we were 20, Al Gore hadn't invented the internet, we had nowhere to go. get married, deny your true orientantion. go to a glory hole to get your fix, or a public park bathroom. learn the secret foot tap. we were always bi, perverts, queers, faggots, sexual deviants! out to corrupt the children of the world. pick your label hell pick 2. now we have an anonymous outlet where we can let loose and try to search out others who share our desires. 99.999% of us are out to satisfy our urges(legally). it's that .001% that cauterize and mobilize the world against us. We are older, wiser and know we are the walking damned if we out ourselves! you punk ass kids have it so easy

  27. #57

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I've been bi since I was about 13, and I think that it takes some people alot longer to accept who they are and act on it. But I would sure have missed out on some very good times if I had waited.

  28. #58

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Real simple: NOPE!! we've always been this way, we mostly just don't give a shit what people think anymore...we're old enough to be who we are and what we are and you cant do a thing about it.

    <Grumpy 'ol man voice; dammit wheres my remote???>
    "To each monkey, it's own swing.." - old Latino Provberb

  29. #59

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    The more I aged, the less effect those protective walls I had built kept pricks from finding my mouth. I was hooked in seconds! I quickly fell in love with being a long lasting anal top, to the joys of more than one happy bottom! My inhibitions gradually eroded over time to the point where I finally found the balls to see if it tastes as good as it looks. I wasn't disappointed!

  30. #60

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by Something Else View Post
    Discovered my sexual attraction for men was real when I was 33, 5 yrs ago. And it was because of the opportunity of the internet to explore my sexuality that I discovered about it. And learned a great deal more than I had ever imagined!

    Unfortunately, I had bought into the model of: you're either gay or you're straight. And because my attractions for women were real and my emotions intense; I presumed my attractions for men were of the mind. With the internet, I realized that I was entirely misinformed.

    Perhaps, that's the reason more men today are learning more of their sexuality. Learning that there isn't a one size fits all model for men. You can like women; you can like men; you can like both!
    I agree with the above and that the availability of the internet is a factor. The internet has enabled me to safely and privately explore my sexuality,

 

 

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