Do older men turn bi???

[Mmpmm]

My story is similar to many on here. I have always had these same sex desires. When I was a teenager I would flip to the back of the porn magazines and look at the gay ads. When I would watch porn videos I always wanted to know what it was like for the woman and wanted to have her experience. My family would never have accepted me being gay. I had 1 experience in my mid 20's that I really enjoyed but I was afraid because it verified my sexual desires for men. Although I have never really been attracted to men and don't know if I could ever have the same deep loving relationship that I have with a woman. At any rate I suppressed my desires but they have always lingered just under the surface. As I get older my desires for mm pleasure get stronger.

[nu2curious]

I think at 60% or more guys are bi from the beginning. I believe bisexual will one day be what most people describe themselves as being, in other words the new " norm ". As men get older they're less inhibited , more sexually adventurous so any feelings that have rested quietly within their beings begin to surface.

[zbi73]

I think at 60% or more guys are bi from the beginning. I believe bisexual will one day be what most people describe themselves as being, in other words the new " norm ". As men get older they're less inhibited , more sexually adventurous so any feelings that have rested quietly within their beings begin to surface.

True. Time's are a changing. Today teens have far more freedom to express their sexuality than any of us did growing up. I read a survey that was done in the US/UK where it asked 13 to 26 year old's about sexuality and 57% said they don't identify as traditionally straight, 47% took a fluid approach and 45% said they'd be happy kissing either sex. The sample size was very small though, over a 1000.

Another survey done in the UK a few years back surveyed 1632 people. Here's a couple of exerts, "When asked to plot themselves on a scale of sexuality, ranging from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively gay, 72 per cent of adults and 49 per cent of people aged 18 to 24 chose a position other than completely straight." and "Of 1,632 people surveyed, 60 per cent of heterosexuals and 73 per cent of homosexuals supported the idea that sexuality is a scale." so I guess this is good news for us bisexuals, sort of.

For me, like many, I believe it's genetic, I was born this way. Nature vs Nurture. Nature won but it took time so whilst it may appear I turned bi later on I had in fact always been bi. There were so many signs. The only sign missing was a sign on the side of the road telling me. Media coverage has also been greater over the passed few years which I guess has helped awareness so people who may have never thought or entertained the idea got curious. Don't know but if each generation is more accepting than the last it can only be good. Tolerance and acceptance from society will help so many who are struggling with their identity.

As humans, I believe we have the capacity to love anyone, regardless of gender. That would imply we may all just be a little bi, some not enough to acknowledge or even know. It's society and religion who condition us from an early age telling us that it's wrong. That's just my opinion though.

[Flypaper]

1. My love of, desire for and sex with women has not changed.
2. When I was 15, 25, 35 and 45 I had zero interest in or desire for men.
3, When I was 52 I found myself getting regular oral sex from a guy.
4.:I am 60 and continue to enjoy both sides of my sexuality.

What changed?

[Bidad61]

Well I have been Bi my whole life but didn’t really act upon it of my own free will until I was in my 30s. I told my wife about my desires and she supported me. I am in my 50s now and her appetite for sex has decreased so much that our sex is once or twice a year. I still desire her but she just doesn’t care about having sex anymore. With men it is easier to please them, I know what they want and just suck their cocks until they cum. The funny thing is I don’t look at men the same way as my wife, I only want to please their desire to cum. I don’t think I could ever have a long term relationship with a man like I do with my wife.

[bnicks122016]

I’m 57 now and when I was young was always chasing women. I had some thoughts and fantasies in my 20’s but never acted on them. When I hit 50 my desires to have sex with a guy became overwhelming.
After I acted on them I realized what I’d been missing! I’ll always love women but am now happily bi. While sex with a women is great, guys just seem to know what makes each other feel good. I’d never sucked cock before but seemed to instinctively knew what to do.

[Bluehill]

I've always been bi. Since sex with my wife became infrequent I've sought out more hookups with guys as no strings sex with guys is more readily available than with ladies.

[zbi73]

What changed?

Dunno, I reckon you're the only one that can answer that.

[cleves]

I'm 69 and have been sucking cock for a year now. Once you try it, it's really hard to stop.

[eager4cum]

personally, I think there as many reasons for this as there are people. WE are all individuals and have an individual reason for being BI. We also take a different path to the discovery and acknowledgement of being BI. Since there are so many paths, it may take some time and in some cases, a lot of time for this discovery and acknowledgement. From the outside, the time it takes may appear to be an older man turning BI but in reality, it just took that long for him to figure it all out.
In my case, I was always BI. I started having sex with my boy friends at 12 and with my girl friends at 20. I enjoyed every one of them but was definitely confused for a long time, well into my 30's. I finally figured it out and acknowledged my Bisexuality in my late 30's so I did not just turn BI then, I just took a lot of time to figure it out.

[nu2curious]

Well I have been Bi my whole life but didn’t really act upon it of my own free will until I was in my 30s. I told my wife about my desires and she supported me. I am in my 50s now and her appetite for sex has decreased so much that our sex is once or twice a year. I still desire her but she just doesn’t care about having sex anymore. With men it is easier to please them, I know what they want and just suck their cocks until they cum. The funny thing is I don’t look at men the same way as my wife, I only want to please their desire to cum. I don’t think I could ever have a long term relationship with a man like I do with my wife.

Describes me exactly ! It's not a romance thing or relationship deal although I value friendships greatly it's about cock really. I think if a guy says he's developing feelings etc. he's most likely gay not bi at least that's the way I see it.
I'm only interested in servicing his cock.

[bibliss]

Great thread!...

As a "mature" guy, I ask myself: What is wrong with affection for other men and between men? I don't think there's anything to fear about it. I don't see love or joy or erotic pleasure as being about either-or.

Sex and sexuality are spectacularly diverse and utterly experiential, that is, defined solely by one's own experience of it. No one can say what your sexuality truly is than YOU! No one can say what your partners' sexuality is than him or her.

I don't think it's a contradiction that you might share some tenderness or erotic bliss with another man and somehow that negates or cancels out your love for women. That's ridiculous. I see all kinds of ways that society forces us to pretend our sexuality is either one way or another -- that you either like guys or girls or you don't. But, as a 58-year-old bisexual man, my experience (and the wisdom I've gained from it) reveals to me that the whole damn world is shades of difference -- delightfully so, and quite the opposite from this either-or thing that so many of us unconsciously buy into.

Personally, the older I get, the hotter I am for men. And still I love women. More even.

[zbi73]

personally, I think there as many reasons for this as there are people. WE are all individuals and have an individual reason for being BI. We also take a different path to the discovery and acknowledgement of being BI. Since there are so many paths, it may take some time and in some cases, a lot of time for this discovery and acknowledgement. From the outside, the time it takes may appear to be an older man turning BI but in reality, it just took that long for him to figure it all out.
In my case, I was always BI. I started having sex with my boy friends at 12 and with my girl friends at 20. I enjoyed every one of them but was definitely confused for a long time, well into my 30's. I finally figured it out and acknowledged my Bisexuality in my late 30's so I did not just turn BI then, I just took a lot of time to figure it out.

Sounds familiar, for me it was early forties but I'm not sure I'd say confused for me, just flat out denial. A life time of denial. :/

[zbi73]

Describes me exactly ! It's not a romance thing or relationship deal although I value friendships greatly it's about cock really. I think if a guy says he's developing feelings etc. he's most likely gay not bi at least that's the way I see it.
I'm only interested in servicing his cock.

Each is different but to me bisexual is made up of two parts, sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Together they make up the individual. You can be biromantic and still end up happily married to the opposite sex, it's just that you don't care about the gender and are open to romantic relationships with both. I can see how people would think that if a man ended up having a romantic relationship with another they may be seen as gay but in all reality they're just expressing one side of their sexuality.

Just my opinion though but I feel it's a far more complex subject than "I see you have a boyfriend, you must be gay".

[FredGillard]

As a 50 something, I'm definitely more comfortable now with my sexuality and bi urges. There was always something there, but I'd push it away, dreading that I might be gay. If we watch something on TV or a film which has a gay theme, I'll usually get so turned on, sufficient that I'll ask my wife to wank me off and she'll talk about me with other men. I'd love us to hire a male escort for me to play with while she watched, but I think that's likely a step too far for her.

I don't find myself at all attracted to men romantically, and have never looked at any man in the street and thought, "oooh he's hot." On here however, I do, but not sure about seeing a guy's face. That's still strange to me.

Great topic. Thanks for all the sharing.

[colfax129]

I can remember being in the gym locker room one day after PE, and seeing guys walking out of the showers. Like a bolt out of the blue, it hit me that I wanted those cocks in my mouth. It was a fleeting image in my head that wouldn't resurface for years. I have never had any attraction to guys. Just cock. The adult bookstores were the only avenue for exploring porn in those days, but the emergence of AIDS kept me from experimenting with those enticing gloryholes that were so prevalent at the time. However, the sexually charged atmosphere of the arcade booths kept me visiting them any time that I could.

Over time, I realized that I hardly ever saw any obviously gay guys there. Just normal blue and white collar guys that you'd see anywhere in day-to-day life. The same held true no matter where I went. Obviously, there were tons of guys out there who liked cock, who you'd never suspect if you met them anywhere else. To see how quickly they dropped to their knees when offered a nice looking cock was amazing. It seems to have nothing to do with attraction to a person, only what's between their legs. That's certainly true for me. My attraction to cock has certainly grown stronger the older I have gotten. And judging by the demographics of age that I've witnessed in such places, I certainly believe that guys trend more towards cock as they age.

[Tag200]

Just wondering why most bi-men are over 50, most of which are married, semmed to all of a sudden want to be with another guy, in some way or another.
Did this come to the front, because of age---can they not find a female now, that turns them on---or is it something that as been there all along, but society didnt accept it till they got old enough not to care---
Were they afraid of being called gay infront of their friends--
Can you really be bi at 50 and not at 20? Maybe people are more open now?
Just curious, because I find myself in the same sitituation. Have always thought of being with another guy, since the first time I was a teen. But never acted on it. Now that I am older, want to try it again.
I am so confused??

I never considered cock until I learned about tea rooms in a class I took in college. I found it very interesting and have had a few theater booth type encounters but never did much. Too nervous to date I have sucked two cocks but want more

[nu2curious]

"My attraction to cock has certainly grown stronger the older I have gotten. And judging by the demographics of age that I've witnessed in such places, I certainly believe that guys trend more towards cock as they age."

I've seen this all over the internet and it's true, however society has heretofore encouraged female bisexuality while frowning on male bisexuality. We guys have had the short end of things for years IMO. Now things are beginning to change slowly as society is more accepting of the male bi but it starts with each of us accepting our own bisexual feelings.

[mike r]

this is certainly not an orignal observation but i'm a 61 year year old married man whosucked a few cock in adolescence, and did not suck anoyher cock until my fifties at an adult theater turned glory hole and loved it. have hosted a couple of guys in my home and come out as bi to my wife. I do think I "turned' bi in my fifties so much as rediscovered what I've always been.

[KDaddy23]

In my experiences, this isn't really surprising because, before the Internet even existed, I knew of older men who developed a taste for cock and they weren't gay. Thanks to the Internet and forums like this one, you have a lot more visibility of this than ever before and I've heard a lot of reasons for this "late change" from sexless marriages to it being the next sexual thing to do and experience - and, sometimes, shit happens, alcohol gets blamed, up to and including being in the right place at the right time and with the right person - and it's quite a rush to live large parts of your life not even thinking about this... then find out that you missed out on something really special and exciting if you never even got close to having such an experience earlier on.

I'm 41, sitting in a bar having a drink after a horrendous day at work and the guy sitting next to me, who I later learned was in his 60s, starts talking to me and we're having a great conversation and one that somehow turned into him asking me if I ever had a guy suck my cock. I told him that I had (thanks, Scotch) and asked why he was asking and he said, "I want to do it... but I'm not sure why I do!" and, no, I can't honestly say he didn't know because he was a little boozed-up. We go get a room and he sucks me off and before I went to work on him, he said - and, to me, sadly, "I don't know why I never wanted to do that before now - and now I'm mad because I didn't." To me, it was nothing I hadn't seen before.

As someone who has been bi a very long time, this just fascinates me and proves that you can be of any age and discover bisexuality, that and any reason that makes sense to you is a good reason - and even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. We kinda accept that when we're young men and somewhere around the time puberty slams into us, if we "experiment," it's no big thing but when we become adults, we're supposed to set it aside and do what we're supposed to do as men - deal with women only. What we don't think about so much is that even if you never fooled around when younger, it's not like no one can change their minds about this, even guys who've never done a thing like this until they got much older. You don't always have to be young and insanely horny to want to find out what it's like to be with another man but what we don't know is why the bisexual bug bites some guys early on but can bite guys later on.

So some guys - like me - are early adopters who jumped on the bandwagon and never got off; some guys return to the party after being absent for a few... and some guys are just getting to the party albeit a bit late and the thing that really fascinates the shit out of me is that it just makes sense to do this even though we've grown up knowing that we're not ever supposed to for any reason. Or like an older newbie once told me, "Why not? I've done everything else except this until now..."

[Birobertb]

I once was talking to a bi older man on Facebook, who says hes now more into men than women. He claims he was straight until he one day wandered into
The nude beach here which is mainly gay men. That night he found himself wanking thinking of men and boom he's attracted to men.
He's now 60 but was in his 50's when this happened.
Myself i find im more into men as the older i get. Can't explain it, its just like that.

[SilkyHoseLover]

Although I've probably already contributed to this long thread, I'm not going to search back and check what I previously wrote. The material facts haven't changed, but my perspective might be slightly different than before. Doesn't really matter. What I write is always truth-based, so it will be quite consistent.

I was well into my late 50s and had never had a conscious thought about doing anything of a sexual nature with another male. I was always turned-on seeing other people having sex, and was standing naked next to my bed, watching another man eating my wife's pussy. Without saying a word, he suddenly withdrew from her spread legs and turned to me, briefly taking my cock into his mouth. I instantly realized two things:

1) It feels good to have your cock sucked.
2) It didn't matter a whit that the mouth providing the pleasure belonged to another man.

It didn't last more than a few seconds -- physically. But, it left a huge psychological imprint on me, and I knew that I wanted to see what it was like to have one in my mouth at the earliest possible opportunity. It didn't take long for that first taste, and I loved everything about it right away. building upon that and gaining more varied experiences has been a gradual process, though.

I have to factor my marriage into the equation and do things what work within her values, as well as mine. So I can't indulge and enjoy as much/often as I'd like. But I'm very comfortable experiencing these newer pleasures in my retirement years!

[GTS67]

Just my own observation, but I would say a good number of older men at least have started giving it a thought. I am 65 y/o and have been giving it some thought for a few years but have been very cautious about acting on my curiosity for many reasons. I have tried to do some personal research on this subject and that's why I suspect there are many men above the age of 50 who find themselves dealing with their new found curiosity. Everyone is different and has their own take on this so I will just state my own feelings here.

I did have one same-sex experience when I was in my early 20's but alcohol was a factor plus a recent breakup with a girlfriend - her idea - so the two factors were contributors to the experience, which wasn't much actually. A buddy of mine and I had gone in on some beer and were at his place watching a lame movie and both of us were getting bored so he pulled out some porn magazines and we were going though them. I was already horny and this just made me more so and apparently it was making him horny too and he finally said he needed some relief and began masturbating. For some reason, probably the beer, it didn't bother me and I kept looking at the porn and finally decided what the heck and I began to masturbate. He offered to do it for me and I didn't stop him. I returned the favor and that was it and chalked it up to the beer and being horny and forgot about it.

A few years ago I was reading some posts in a sex forum and a guy around my age stated that his wife had a severe case of MS and his sex life was down to none and he really loved his wife but he really missed the intimacy of sex and didn't want to cheat on her with another woman and wondered if having a masturbation buddy would be considered cheating. I personally thought it was, whether with a woman or a man but by this time I had been divorced a few years and not really finding the women I was dating to be compatible, I wondered if as far as I was concerned if having a masturbation partner would be a viable way of expressing myself sexually. I started thinking about that same-sex experience I'd had so many years ago and the thought was actually quite erotic. I began to think about this more and more. I, like most guys am not attracted to men - I don't walk down the street and think, oh wow, he's really hot and I just can't see myself wanting a romantic relationship with a guy whereas I feel all my romantic, emotional feelings are with women but there is something about the idea of being with a guy who is as into giving sexual pleasure as he is receiving is a positive idea, as I've had a tendency to think of most guys as being the takers when it comes to sex - which is one of my many reasons for being cautious. The fantasy of this kind of mutual sexual relationship appeals to me.

One of the things that I think hold older guys back is the old societal taboo that "real men don't give each other sexual pleasure" is still somewhat ingrained in us and is a large hurdle to overcome.

[zbi73]

"Society has heretofore encouraged female bisexuality while frowning on male bisexuality. We guys have had the short end of things for years IMO. Now things are beginning to change slowly as society is more accepting of the male bi but it starts with each of us accepting our own bisexual feelings.

Couldn't agree with this more if I tried and I believe it's the reason why many men suppress or flat out deny having these feelings. It's the reason why I'm still in the closet, I'm just not prepared to have to deal with any fall out at this stage.

It almost seems that if a female says "I'm bi" the answer is "cool" or "interesting" depending on who's being told of course. If a male says it, from what I read, it goes like "Hi I'm bi..... so you're gay?... no, bi..... gay?". Obviously this is very generalized but it definitely doesn't seem to be an equal understanding or acceptance.

Self acceptance is very important indeed and a major step in the journey. Accepting you're bisexual or even gay for that matter doesn't make you any different nor is it actually telling anyone. You can continue on with the status-quo outwardly and no one will be any the wiser. In doing so I found I no longer over-think, analyse, attempt to rationalise, panic or frett over my sexuality like I used to. I shudder to think of the hours I wasted trying to fool myself I was 100% straight.

[Long Duck Dong]

The older guy I am with, said he would rather been seen as gay than bi. I said ok, why is that ? His answer was he did not want to be seen as a person that was going to jump as soon as a cock was shown to him while looking for a female partner to swing with but if people could understand that not all bi people are swingers, could be happy with a partner and did not want to hook up constantly, he would be ok with being bi....

He said he had dreams about cocks as a younger man but there was very little opportunity and in later life, he had tried going to LGBT groups only to find animosity and judgement, also nobody seemed to be interested in a ongoing friendship with a opening to explore with him, they wanted cock out first, so a friend pointed me out to him and said, talk to this guy, his thinking is anything but mainstream.
It went from there and he has been able to enjoy a good sex life with me and the other two females are part of our group. What I find interesting is that both ladies have said that while the idea of them kissing, may be seen as hot, they have copped a lot of backlash for doing it, from males and also backlash for turning down offers of 3somes simply because they kissed each other.

I am 49, I still do not see myself limited to bisexual ( only two genders ) I have a long time female friend that is intersex and very well developed, and I see her as a close friend, not a OMG I would love to bang the hell out of her cos she is a dream fuck, and she appreciates the fact I see her as more than a dream fuck, tho we have been intimate and while it was very passionate and intense, we both loved the holding, cuddling and kissing before and afterwards cos it reinforced the understanding that we are very close as people, not sex objects.

I love the feeling of intimacy, connection, respect and consideration which is why I do not go for one night stand / casual sex, others do and thats ok, each to their own.... but yes for some of us, the idea that as bi people that will bed hop and constantly chase sex / cock, is off putting but its one of the way that main stream society can view bisexuality and that can have some very adverse consequences or cause concern to older guys that are experimenting and want cock, not conflict

[zbi73]

Agreed, some will want to bed hop but that bed hop isn't caused due to being bisexual it's just who they are I guess, they're just not looking for anything serious nor limiting themselves to a single gender. I am glad you've found someone you're happy with and I believe like you there are many bisexual people who long for something more than just sex, something passionate, something meaningful and it doesn't matter which gender they find that with. The idea that bisexual people can't commit to a monogamous relationship like a heterosexual person could is quite appalling and one big misconception. Bisexual itself isn't promiscuous, people are. If I commit to one person then I commit regardless of gender, end of

We're all different, judge us by the character of our person not by the person we choose to love and/or have sex with.

[Long Duck Dong]

I love what you said " We're all different, judge us by the character of our person not by the person we choose to love and/or have sex with." as that reflects very much what I believe as well.....

unfortunately society judges by the most visible and vocal element, not by the quieter and less visible... and at times I have had to take months of talking to a person to get them to listen to me, and not listen to what they think I said... and one of the most offensive things I have had said to me, is " you are just lying to me so you can get into my pants and heart then you will start with the I need to stray BS ", which is ironic as its been most of my exs that have cheated on me, so I am definitely not interested in doing the same to a partner......

I will be honest, if I had to come out today as a 49 year old rather than growing up aware of my desires and interests, I am not sure how I would handle things, based simply on what I know of the people around me. Most of the bisexual guys I know, will not make contact regarding sex unless its a "cum and run " situation, a local LGBTQIA support group has 90 members but at any meet, only 6-8 will go and only one of them is male and they are gay and engaged... the guy most likely to offer sex, hangs around the local toilets and does not have safe sex at all.... so yeah it would be harder to find a guy that would be open to a casual FwB connection so I could indulge my desires and explore my sexuality......and while there is older gay males looking for more than casual sex, even talking with them leads nowhere as very few of them want to talk, they want their relationship and close the rest of the world out......yet people say its easier to be out today than it used to be, which is true but being out and making a connection are two different things

[nu2curious]

Agreed, some will want to bed hop but that bed hop isn't caused due to being bisexual it's just who they are I guess, they're just not looking for anything serious nor limiting themselves to a single gender. I am glad you've found someone you're happy with and I believe like you there are many bisexual people who long for something more than just sex, something passionate, something meaningful and it doesn't matter which gender they find that with. The idea that bisexual people can't commit to a monogamous relationship like a heterosexual person could is quite appalling and one big misconception. Bisexual itself isn't promiscuous, people are. If I commit to one person then I commit regardless of gender, end of

We're all different, judge us by the character of our person not by the person we choose to love and/or have sex with.

Agreed ! just because i like dick doesn't mean I'm hanging out in bars trying to pick up every guy I meet. People make choices and sometimes choose irresponsibly.

[Grant_Norman]

I'm 69 and have been sucking cock for a year now. Once you try it, it's really hard to stop.

Yes...70 here started sucking regularly about 4+ years ago....would like to always suck and swallow as much as possible

[YESHUA888]

Thought Viagra was given to be a kick stand so they wouldn't roll out of bed