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  1. #1

    The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    What is the most frustrating thing about being bisexual for you?

    For me, it's that there is still a stigma around anything that's not heterosexual. If no one cared or treated non-heterosexuals differently I feel many many more would come out, myself included. The world has come a long way with regards to acceptance but it has an equally long way to go.

  2. #2

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    I daresay you are right there. I am probably old enough to care now not what people think. Plus I live in an area where people of all sexual types are generally accepted. But I enjoy being bisexual. The best of both worlds.

    A perfect world would be nice. No stigma. Just acceptance.

  3. #3

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Spot on....
    Very frustrating to have to dance around the topic, trying to figure out if a person will be put off or not. I have some great couples whom I have played with a lot and am true friends with. I'm pretty sure if they became aware that I am fully Bi, that would he the end of the play. Still would be friends I am sure, but I would instantly be in a no go category.

    And of course the classic; it's ok, and even desirable for women to be Bisexual, but somehow offensive for men to be and somehow makes him less masculine

  4. #4

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    I'm an older gurl who came to realize and accept my bisexuality in the past 10 years or so. I don't feel any frustration, guilt or shame. Only my wife and a few select friends in 'real life' know of my passions. My sexuality isn't of concern or interest to anyone else in my (small) circle of friends or family, so they don't know. Do I go to great pains to keep it covered up? Not really. It's just not a topic of general discussion.

    I imagine my feelings might be different, were I younger and unattached. Then I'd be out in the socializing scene, where these things are more prone to be uncovered and discussed.

  5. #5

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    I hate the assumptions and all the labels. I am older now and care less. As a swinger for a decade, it's always been about adult "playtime" and now I want to enjoy both more often.

  6. #6

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    . . . Being told by people who are gay, "You are really Gay, and you are just deluding yourself!".
    If it is to be, let it be with me

  7. #7

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    being called gay by a gay guy wld really trun me on

  8. #8

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Quote Originally Posted by zbi73 View Post
    What is the most frustrating thing about being bisexual for you?

    For me, it's that there is still a stigma around anything that's not heterosexual. If no one cared or treated non-heterosexuals differently I feel many many more would come out, myself included. The world has come a long way with regards to acceptance but it has an equally long way to go.
    Wearing the title. Since I never made an announcement that I was hetero, I wonder why I must make any claims to be something else. I will also need to announce that I want to have sex with taller women, and that I don't prefer blondes or skinny. Non short hair is also a concern. Breast implants don't interest me either so that will be a separate announcement. A coming out party for feminine girls also is in the works. Any guys that have to act awkward to feel their part will not be on my list. Basically anyone that doesn't feel insecure in themselves and doesn't seek acceptance from anyone else. I will not hide from any male or female that has a healthy self image and not choosing to seek their identity. I guess I don't have any frustrations in my circles.

  9. #9

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    The frustrating part is this website. All these guys and a lesser extent, gals claiming they are bisexual, looking for fun and being phonies. When you reply to an ad and dance around what you want, meeting, fulfilling a fantasy and then don't show up or just disappear. It's like 90% of these ads are phony and really aren't interested in a bisexual event. They just want to fantasize. How can you be a member for 5 years or more and are looking for your first experience? Really?

  10. #10

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    harkeck2, why do you assume that everyone on this website is looking for a sex partner? Some of us may just be looking to share experiences with others who think and feel as we do but are sexually satisfied already.

  11. #11
    Coastocoast
    Guest

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    The site was never a hookup site. When other sites folded or stopped taking hookup ads, members migrated here trying to make it replace their hookup site and they are frustrating members who remember when this site dealt with bisexual issues. The site was never about 800 different ways to ask you to post a jerk to me story and did not sound like the 9th grade locker room it does today. Drew deleted every golden shower post and personal ad that the rules state does not belong here.

  12. #12

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    the most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...... people thinking that every bisexual is the same, that we have the same attitudes and thinking towards sex and other people..... and that bisexuals should all think the same way about other people such as christians, heterosexuals etc.......

    even heterosexuals do not accept what other heterosexuals do, such as polyamory, swinging, BDSM etc......the same with gays and lesbians.... and yes there is even bisexuals that will not accept that other bisexuals can be monogamous, or will choose long term partner/s over casual sex so I am not holding my breath for acceptance, just for tolerance..... and a lot of times when we talk about being accepting, its actually just ignoring the people that do not fit into our own * window of reality *

    I have to share this world with people with differing opinions, ideals and ways of life.... so I just accept that I can not change the world, and move on....simply because there is many people with the thinking that the world needs to change to be a better place, but they do not need to change for anybody..... and that can be the exact same attitude of the other people....
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  13. #13

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    the most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...... people thinking that every bisexual is the same, that we have the same attitudes and thinking towards sex and other people..... and that bisexuals should all think the same way about other people such as christians, heterosexuals etc.......

    ..
    so true

  14. #14

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Quote Originally Posted by bbginva View Post
    harkeck2, why do you assume that everyone on this website is looking for a sex partner? Some of us may just be looking to share experiences with others who think and feel as we do but are sexually satisfied already.
    Agreed. I'm not here looking for a partner but in the same token, I'm not leading anyone on or making promises I have no intention on keeping either

  15. #15

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    For guys it's doubly problematic. Bi women are much more accepted than bi guys. I think part of that is down to straight guys fascination with lesbian sex. Women seem to have a big hang up about bi guys, but are happy to accept all out gay guys, and in many cases they like them sexually, even though that is illogical.

  16. #16
    Coastocoast
    Guest

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    One of the main reasons women have a rough time with bisexual men is there are SOME bisexual men known to cheat behind the back of a wive's or girlfriends. If you look here on the site, you will see a high percentage of men who are partnered with a woman looking for down low sex that they are are hiding. Craigslist was another prime example of the behavior. I am friends with a woman who many years ago found out that her husband (now Ex Husband) was cheating on her when she turned up HIV Positive and she had no clue he was bisexual. I believe the fear a bisexual guy will cheat behind her back is similar to some gay men who do not like bisexual men fearing that any relationship they have together will be ended over women. It is sad because not all bisexual me are incapable of being monogamous with someone of either sex. It is frustrating that some bisexual men can taint the image of others.

  17. #17

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Quote Originally Posted by csreef View Post
    . . . Being told by people who are gay, "You are really Gay, and you are just deluding yourself!".
    Not being accepted by people who will demand you to accept them...
    This drives me nuts..

  18. #18
    Coastocoast
    Guest

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    And your being delusional because you do not see things exactly as they do. Funny thing is most that are non-straight fought to be accepted as they are yet many of those now cannot accept bisexuality. I always state there is no LGBTQ community, you need to remove the B as they are the outsiders

  19. #19

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    The most frustrating thing about being a bisexual guy?

    Other bisexual guys.

    SO MANY bi guys turn out to be dishonest, unsafe, secretive, rude, hurried, ...
    Or have big issues with mental health, physical health, drug use, alcoholism, ...

    I do know a few good bi men, but not enough. That is what I find frustrating.
    Last edited by playful808; May 27, 2020 at 5:54 PM.

  20. #20

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    To me, the most frustrating thing is all the political infighting in LGBT organizational life. Gays versus bis, lesbians versus bis, and so on. And then there is all the internal politics among bi groups and bi activists. No one has the attitude that we're all on the same team.

  21. #21

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    I'd have to say that if there's something that frustrates me about being bi, it's also the constant bickering about sexuality - period. It's knowing why this bickering has been going on since forever and the fact that even when there's been so much historical proof that bisexuality is real and bisexuals do exist, 21st century people keep saying that it's not a real thing. It frustrates me when you'd think homosexuals would, at least, understand that part of us and some really do... and many more just don't.

    And the thing that really frustrates me and makes me sad are all the bisexuals who are paying attention to all the dumb shit more than they should be paying attention to being the best bisexual they can be.

  22. #22

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    What is the most frustrating thing about being bisexual?
    Some of what I wrote is not directly connected to being BI, and I hope you understand.
    What is frustrating is :
    1. I am bi and a total bottom - I am at a disadvantage for there are less tops than bottoms.
    2. I am bi and age wise at a disadvantage - 60 - So neither the younger tops who like "daddy" bottoms, nor someone my age, takes me seriously - they write 20 emails and then ghost me - end of story.
    3. I am bi and married, So that means I must keep it under the carpet. There are many who won't sleep with a married guy - reasons of which I cannot fathom.
    4. I am bi and not out at all. I cannot be out because it would be disastrous to my married life plus I will feel ostracized. That means there is an obsession to keep everything under wraps - that isn't fun, at all.
    5. I am bi and get to hear "SERMONS" about how it is bad to "Cheat".

    More when I get to think more.... thanks.

  23. #23

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Dowmas,I hear you loud and clear. I'd swear you were reading my mind and wrote my thoughts, except I'm 3yrs older.

  24. #24

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Quote Originally Posted by zbi73 View Post
    What is the most frustrating thing about being bisexual for you?
    My frustration is, Finding other discreet bisexual guys who are serious! Too many just get on when horny to get off then they are GONE

  25. #25

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Great topic! For me personally it is probably a few things. Most of the time I am okay with my sexuality. But then there are times I feel alone and isolated. Even though I have a lot of good friends I occasionally feel like I don't know where I fit into society. I'm not gay & I'm not straight. I have a lot of gay friends that are amazing! But I'm just not into gay bars, drag shows, or that scene. So is does make it difficult meeting guys. I'm just a regular guy who happens to also be attracted to other males. I'm not really into random hookups like a few have stated. That's why I never try to meet guys on other sites. So the frustrating part for me is probably that when I meet a guy that I feel attracted to I'm not really sure how to let him know for fear of rejection and embarrassment.

  26. #26

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    I understand and appreciate what you are saying, but please read my comment. When an individual corresponds and commits to meet and see if you want to proceed NSA, they don't show up. That's just plain rude at least.

  27. #27

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    I've been bi since I was about 15-16 years old. And right from the beginning I've hated "Labels". And I shouldn't have to explain my sexuality to anyone! I'm 59 years old now and I'm starting to care less and less about who knows I'm bi. I've come out to 3 very close female/bi friends. Just doing that was a wonderful feeling.

  28. #28

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Another thing: The hypocrisy. I know people who are swingers, routinely have affairs, and are into some kinks that make my skin crawl... but they think I'm all fucked up in the head because I'm bisexual. Women who are into women, even on the DL, who are quick to tell me how wrong I am for having sex with men - but when I point out to them that they're doing what I'm doing, they say, "That's different!"

  29. #29

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Is having to accept a label before you can be happy with your self. There was a time when your label could be John or David or Tom.

  30. #30

    Re: The most frustrating thing about being bisexual is...

    Quote Originally Posted by querty View Post
    Spot on....
    Very frustrating to have to dance around the topic, trying to figure out if a person will be put off or not. I have some great couples whom I have played with a lot and am true friends with. I'm pretty sure if they became aware that I am fully Bi, that would he the end of the play. Still would be friends I am sure, but I would instantly be in a no go category.

    And of course the classic; it's ok, and even desirable for women to be Bisexual, but somehow offensive for men to be and somehow makes him less masculine
    Bear with me here, the wife and I have several comments.
    1) Querty we both feel that it's pretty definite that they know your bi, especially if your having sexual relations with both of them. Unless of course your not doing anything with the guy at all.
    2) Harkec2, we agree with you it can be frustrating to set up a meet and get stood up. But keep in mind that's a lot to take on in a marriage or long term relationship. Is it wrong to ghost you yes but it's a two way street. Ever think maybe just maybe it's how you approach the situation? Do you ask if they are serious, do you plan to meet just to meet see if you mesh or do you plan a meet to get right down to the nitty gritty? Do you even ask if that's something they have discussed, tried, really contemplated?

    I ask these questions because the missus and I are getting settled into a new/old relationship that encompasses I am bi and she is liberated. We do chat on line with guys together but we make it clear we are not there yet, maybe we will never be. If the guy asks, great! If he doesn't we volunteer the parameters of what we are comfortable with. Maybe you could take the lead and start the conversation of what, with whom, when, and where. I assume everyone knows the why. Communication seems to be lacking and that is the key.

    3) I have to agree with csreef and zbi.

    Bu t for me personally the biggest frustration is meeting a guy, liking a guy but never, ever saying anything because you never know is he or isn't he. And how would he take it. And that's my two cents worth. The wife says more like a quarter, maybe she's right.

 

 

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