Do older men turn bi???

[Tommy54]

I never had serious bi thoughts until I was about 40 and my first wife started throwing out hints about wanting to see me suck cock. I didn't like the idea at first but the more I thought of it the more I liked it. Years later I still haven't actually sucked cock but I do think about it a lot. Was I bi before that? Aside from getting hard seeing some gay porn once when I was 22 I didn't think much about guys at all and didn't like the idea. At this point I like the idea of cock more than a guy, FWIW.

[max526]

I think the Internet has a lot to do with it. Earlier in life most people did not have the ease of hooking up.

In a natural system where the survival of a species depends very much upon the strong sexual urges of the male (to impregnate any and all females around it) it seems inevitable that genes expressing the strongest sexual urges will be favoured by natural selection.

[pole_smoker]

I think the Internet has a lot to do with it. Earlier in life most people did not have the ease of hooking up.

In a natural system where the survival of a species depends very much upon the strong sexual urges of the male (to impregnate any and all females around it) it seems inevitable that genes expressing the strongest sexual urges will be favoured by natural selection.

This does not make any sense at all.

Lots of bisexual and gay men hooked up or met up and dated and had sexual experiences decades before the internet was around.

Just because someone is male it does not mean they want to or will have sex or impregnate all the women they see or that are around and available.

[void()]

While I dislike it, do agree with pole_smoker, max526. Can understand
your point regarding natural selection. Understanding though does not
mean agreement. May suggest there is subtle validity to your argument
but it runs into pole_smoker's argument which is obliviously valid.

In this case his argument holds up. Yours while having a bit of validity
can also be not valid in light of his argument. Your argument does not
invalidate his argument, though. Now we could call two old Chinese guys
and hold a Fu Gunk tournament to settle the matter, I'm not into
cleaning up blood at the moment.

Probably easier to maturely agree to disagree. Know I often find myself
maturely walking away from stupidity in disagreement. Seems to work out
alright, i find other things to get into, don't worry over the past.
Live in the Now because, I find that is all we each have. And given
we're talking on the Web, no need taking debate personally. If you can
even consider this a debate. I saw no real conflict, controversy. People
talking. They do that.

[open2both]

"turn" bi… NOPE!
Act on it/go for it… CLEARLY!!!

[cuttin2dachase]

Yes, of course older men turn bi, but so do teen guys and younger adult men. Bisexuality does not come to people...people come to bisexuality. And they do so in many different ways and under just as many circumstances. Many older men had homoerotic experiences way before they married and most of those men never lose that desire and thrill, whether they're single, married or divorced. Older men who have never even thought of mm sex are triggered to try mm sex because their wives or gfs are no longer interested in sex and/or are no longer very enthusiastic about sex with their men. Also watching porn, especially bi and gay porn can trigger a desire or curiosity that may or may not have been present in them. All of sudden it becomes something they want to act on. In my experience and from frank talk with bi and curious married and divorced men, most of them have "turned" to sex with men because they want sex with someone who's enthusiastic about pleasing their cocks and in receiving sexual pleasure from them. They have no desire to cheat with other women, and they don't consider it cheating if they have sex with a man. They see it as a non marriage-threatening way to have their neglected sexual desires satisfied by someone who doesn't have to be begged to do it. Bi and gay men fit that bill for them. Sex is a human want and need regardless of which gender and sexual orientation you are.

[pole_smoker]

Yes, of course older men turn bi, but so do teen guys and younger adult men. Bisexuality does not come to people...people come to bisexuality. And they do so in many different ways and under just as many circumstances. Many older men had homoerotic experiences way before they married and most of those men never lose that desire and thrill, whether they're single, married or divorced. Older men who have never even thought of mm sex are triggered to try mm sex because their wives or gfs are no longer interested in sex and/or are no longer very enthusiastic about sex with their men. Also watching porn, especially bi and gay porn can trigger a desire or curiosity that may or may not have been present in them. All of sudden it becomes something they want to act on. In my experience and from frank talk with bi and curious married and divorced men, most of them have "turned" to sex with men because they want sex with someone who's enthusiastic about pleasing their cocks and in receiving sexual pleasure from them. They have no desire to cheat with other women, and they don't consider it cheating if they have sex with a man. They see it as a non marriage-threatening way to have their neglected sexual desires satisfied by someone who doesn't have to be begged to do it. Bi and gay men fit that bill for them. Sex is a human want and need regardless of which gender and sexual orientation you are.

Nobody "turns" bisexual or changes their sexual orientation. Self acceptance, and changing how one identifies as their sexuality does not equal "turning" or a "choice".

Those men you talk to are cheating even if they want to pretend it is not cheating.

[altimer23]

had some minor exp as a kid, married two times, both slutty. both fooled around a bit and i found that hot.always loved the cum shots in porn. in my 40s i realized seeing cock pics got me hard, thought about it for a while and finally took the plunge at about 54 or so. sucked my first cock. still not very active, have done it twice in the last few yrs. has to be the right guy with the right cock. actually ate both my wives after other guys fucked them so the taste of cum was not foreign to me. now taking it directly from the cock was very different. as i said right guy, right cock, and im on my knees.

[Don44]

An internet search brought me to this site and I just joined. This is my first post. I'm in my early 70's, lifelong marriage and became interested in sex with men at about 65. For me, the interest just hit me and can't explain why. My first encounter was with a married man about my age who I met on a business trip. Talked about women and he asked if I ever did anything with a man. In my youth, some typical experimenting. Went to my hotel room for what I thought would be to JO and I rather quickly performed oral sex on him. He did it to me and we did it again. After, I felt guilty and couldn't believe what I did. My wife was still quite oral so I wondered why that same act with a guy seemed so erotic. Had several other similar encounters, retired and continued my interest locally, but now very discreetly. I was initially surprised that so many other married men were seeking MM sex. It seems quite normal these days. Are there other guys out there who are still active in their 70's? I find it easy to connect with other normal, rational men. In my case, I engage in conversation first and then meet in a public place for reality check. Thereafter, we know what we're willing to do and do it.

[fatboytom]

I was bi curious as a young man. Then in my 20's and early 30's I caved in to society/peer pressure and never explored it. At age 38, retired from the Army, and newly married to my second wife (we've been married 23 years now) she introduced me to a bi-sexual threesome with a good male friend of ours. That was soooooooo good. Now at 61 I'm at the point in my life where I've decided to enjoy my sexuality.

[whispering]

There are two factors involved here--one is a guy's sexual attraction to men, and how it has been formed in his early life. There is data that suggests that women's sexual preference is dependent upon conditions--the need for emotional comfort and security--and women show histories of switching, say from a divorce to moving in with another woman, to later marrying a man again. men's sexual patterns are more firmly set. It's more unusual for a man, after a divorce, to have affairs with other men and then to go back to women.

Data suggests further that men's sexual preferences are set in early life, and many men have M2m experiences growing up. Often social factors work to bury those experiences--career demands, social pressures to marry, fear of 'exposure', and the marriage imperative to be monogamous. Later in life these inhibitions ease--men become secure in their career, more immune to fear of exposure, children are grown, and often wives stop having sex. This allows men the space to revisit their earlier desires to be with me. When the social imperatives of providing for a family, and having a monogamous sexual life with a spouse are eased, men begin to feel the desire, often formed early, to be with other men.

Another social condition that is often overlooked is that men do not have a vocabulary for intimacy and affection with other men, even though many men spend much more time in the male world than with women. Whereas women may have intimate (though not sexual) friends throughout their lives, men often do not. So when they do step into the world of intimacy with other men, it can be very compelling, and open desires and excitement that have been suppressed. The more men open themselves up to those experiences, particularly when their intimacy with their spouse is either not allowed or not required, their sexual desires, attractions and need for men continues to increase.

Even though many men say they are hooking up with other men because it's easy and there is no drama, I think there are more powerful desires at work, and I've met several men who started out with casual sex and now consider themselves primarily gay.

[mickitv]

Although many of you have some great explanations, I tried to make it simple. I believe the answer is , Because We Can.

[Tuffnuggies]

Because when you're younger, you either experiment or are worried about how people percieve you.
When you get older, you realize life is short to miss out on certain things, and you don't give a fuck.

[charlietx]

My 2 cents worth. At some time in life, most women get out of the Child Baring Stage, hormones change, they are no longer interested in sex. The man is for the most part still ready to have sex. Like me I am still in a loving relationship with my wife. However we o longer have sex, she is just not interested. I on the other hand, still want sexual gratifying needs taken care of. Many women begin to regain the need for sex, but it is usually too late with hubby, the want something young. Hubby is not looking for baggage women usually have, so the easiest thing to do is find a like minded male to have a discreet relationship. It works Ladies.

[roydo]

I applaude you. Like you I have always been Ni. Had a school friend who we were involved together. Mostly masturbating each other. I did try sucking him but he was too uncomfortable with me sucking him. He went out of my life @ age 20. I started the road with women, married divorced at 53. Now at 63 for the past few years have few years have rekindled my Bi life, being mostly on the man to man life style. I wish I had started earlier but I didnt so now I'm making up for lost time with men.I hope to find a male to complete my life. I have not come out a nd probably won't.
Thank you for sharing

[pole_smoker]

My 2 cents worth. At some time in life, most women get out of the Child Baring Stage, hormones change, they are no longer interested in sex. The man is for the most part still ready to have sex. Like me I am still in a loving relationship with my wife. However we o longer have sex, she is just not interested. I on the other hand, still want sexual gratifying needs taken care of. Many women begin to regain the need for sex, but it is usually too late with hubby, the want something young. Hubby is not looking for baggage women usually have, so the easiest thing to do is find a like minded male to have a discreet relationship. It works Ladies.

You're the typical misogynistic closet queen coward here and on other sites that puts all the blame for being a liar and cheat on a "wife" he never loved or cared about. Anyone who actually had balls and was a real man for once would have just came out to their wife or gotten a divorce, instead of being a lying cheating bottom feeder.

[whispering]

You're the typical misogynistic closet queen coward here and on other sites that puts all the blame for being a liar and cheat on a "wife" he never loved or cared about. Anyone who actually had balls and was a real man for once would have just came out to their wife or gotten a divorce, instead of being a lying cheating bottom feeder.

I see no call for this. If bisexuality was accepted in our society, or in a perfect world like NYC, there would be no need for 'discretion'. However, life, and Texas, is not like that. It's very difficult to be bi-sexual within a traditional, loving relationship, but it's really very easy, and takes no guts, to be a righteous asshole.

[illcum4ualot]

i only play with older men i love then

[whispering]

And they're off!!!!!

Kate, have to defend the guy's opinion, cause he is absolutely right. Many, many people let themselves go after marriage. Happens all the time.

Ah...just WHAT is "letting themselves go"?? If you want to define beauty according to what sells products in the media, you're totally right, and personally, I'll support any woman who wants to "let herself go". But it's a sad thing when a man can't see beauty when it looks them in the face.

[itsnormy]

I am going to start from ground zero and basically ignore all posts and answer based on my life. I started what I felt was "being queer," at a very young age, I grew from playmates, to neighborhood kids, to some of their fathers, learning oral and anal sex under pretty safe circumstance. At 15 I had my " Mrs. Robinson," and from that day forth, my cock was reserved for women and my mouth and ass for men. (fast forward a couple years,) I met and dated a beautiful, funny, delightful, sexually experienced woman and we married. Before we did, I told her of my love for and need of male sexual companionship and if she could not accept it we would not marry, well obviously she did. During our 50+ year marriage, with ended with her death, I had a male lover for 30 years, who eventually drank himself to death, never forgiving himself for being gay. I have friends who go way back to those early day, who married and eventually came back to those "carefree, irresponsible days, or meeting in the "fort" and sucking each other off, of if we had time and long lasting fuck session...from there stories, the incentive to return had nothing to do with the marriage, or their wives or family, but their own deep yearning to share male to male, cock to cock sex again before they die. Based on that it would seem the men I know, return to it based on history, as opposed to a late life change....

[liberlib]

The more I read and meet others in this area, the more I am convinced that the situation is not as simple as binary labels. For me, I didn't have M2M experience as a youth or even an inclination. It wasn't due to the exposure to the internet and porn videos (I rarely saw one and usually found them boring). The switch was almost a clear event, occurring after an accident (age 63), when my body started to respond differently to stimuli. From the reading and hearing others stories and some medical/psychological research, I am convinced that the potential always exists but it is overwritten by cultural adaptation. That is, the body is capable of enjoying same sex experience and the person is capable of thriving on same sex bonding but our cultural training/expectations required there to be this strict male/female difference and roles that were labeled normal.

[pole_smoker]

I see no call for this. If bisexuality was accepted in our society, or in a perfect world like NYC, there would be no need for 'discretion'. However, life, and Texas, is not like that. It's very difficult to be bi-sexual within a traditional, loving relationship, but it's really very easy, and takes no guts, to be a righteous asshole.

Bisexuality is accepted in our society, understood, and it's been understood and accepted for decades since the late 60s and early 70s for sure, and it's like this even in Texas in small towns there.

No it's not difficult to be bisexual within a monogamous loving relationship. A person is still bisexual even if they are monogamous.

there are bisexual men who believe that “nobody can tell they’re bisexual or not heterosexual” – they’re wrong. savvy people can tell. the more you’re OUT, and the more you interact with bisexual people the more you realize it’s not about stereotypes at all. it’s much more nuanced.
family can spot family. it’s often easier to spot a closeted bisexual man than a comfortable openly-bisexual one; the giveaways are obvious to anyone who’s left the Closet far behind.

It takes no guts to be a cowardly closet queen who complains from the closet that nobody understands bisexuality, and that it's OK to cheat on your wife, husband, BF, GF, because you're bisexual.

[whispering]

Bisexuality is accepted in our society, understood, and it's been understood and accepted for decades since the late 60s and early 70s for sure, and it's like this even in Texas in small towns there.

No it's not difficult to be bisexual within a monogamous loving relationship. A person is still bisexual even if they are monogamous.

there are bisexual men who believe that “nobody can tell they’re bisexual or not heterosexual” – they’re wrong. savvy people can tell. the more you’re OUT, and the more you interact with bisexual people the more you realize it’s not about stereotypes at all. it’s much more nuanced.
family can spot family. it’s often easier to spot a closeted bisexual man than a comfortable openly-bisexual one; the giveaways are obvious to anyone who’s left the Closet far behind.

It takes no guts to be a cowardly closet queen who complains from the closet that nobody understands bisexuality, and that it's OK to cheat on your wife, husband, BF, GF, because you're bisexual.

Nice try, but you can't change the world by declaration! "Bisexuality is accepted in our society" What is it about Lawence v. Texas you don't understand?

As of April 2014, 17 states either have not yet formally repealed their laws against sexual activity among consenting adult, or have not revised them to accurately reflect their true scope in the aftermath of Lawrence v. Texas. Often, the sodomy law was drafted to also encompass other forms of sexual conduct such as bestiality, and no attempt has subsequently succeeded in separating them. Fourteen states' statutes purport to ban all forms of sodomy, some including oral intercourse, regardless of the participants' genders: Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Utah. Four states specifically target their statutes at same-sex relations only: Oklahoma, Kansas^[16][17] Kentucky, and Texas.

[pole_smoker]

Nice try, but you can't change the world by declaration! "Bisexuality is accepted in our society" What is it about Lawence v. Texas you don't understand?

As of April 2014, 17 states either have not yet formally repealed their laws against sexual activity among consenting adult, or have not revised them to accurately reflect their true scope in the aftermath of Lawrence v. Texas. Often, the sodomy law was drafted to also encompass other forms of sexual conduct such as bestiality, and no attempt has subsequently succeeded in separating them. Fourteen states' statutes purport to ban all forms of sodomy, some including oral intercourse, regardless of the participants' genders: Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Utah. Four states specifically target their statutes at same-sex relations only: Oklahoma, Kansas^[16][17] Kentucky, and Texas.

Do you actually believe that it is enforced in TX and those other states? It is not.

[whispering]

Do you actually believe that it is enforced in TX and those other states? It is not.

Do you actually believe that because people are not being routinely arrested for sucking cock (if that's the case) that it's acceptable in society?? If the people did not agree with those laws, the politicians would have repealed them immediately when the supreme court made its ruling. They did not. You are in another reality.

[pole_smoker]

Do you actually believe that because people are not being routinely arrested for sucking cock (if that's the case) that it's acceptable in society?? If the people did not agree with those laws, the politicians would have repealed them immediately when the supreme court made its ruling. They did not. You are in another reality.

Have you even ever been to any of those states, lived in them, or actually known anyone who lives in them-corresponding with random strangers on hook up/porn/sex sites like this does not count-at all?

It's perfectly acceptable in those states and in society in North America in all 50 states, U.S. territories, and Canadian provinces and territories to be bisexual or gay, and you're not going to get arrested for it. This is not the 1950s or before Stonewall anymore.

[whispering]

Have you even ever been to any of those states, lived in them, or actually known anyone who lives in them-corresponding with random strangers on hook up/porn/sex sites like this does not count-at all?

It's perfectly acceptable in those states and in society in North America in all 50 states, U.S. territories, and Canadian provinces and territories to be bisexual or gay, and you're not going to get arrested for it. This is not the 1950s or before Stonewall anymore.

++

Well then, I expect that you'll take your winter vacation with your husband in "Texas, The LGBT Utopia". So heavenly is Texas that the legislatures have seen no reason to even bother to enact anti-discrimination laws in housing, employment or insurance....I mean, really! why make those complicated laws when there's never any discrimination! There's so much hysteria about all this "gay" stuff, and it's totally uncalled for. Look, jumpy local law enforcement agencies report 200 hate crimes a year, but fewer than one case a year ends up in jail. You see? There's nothing to those rumors.

And they don't even need to include gender identity as a hate crime, because it just doesn't exist. What's that mean, anyway, "gender identity"?? Well, it's just not part of the law, and anyway, they wouldn't need to enforce it like the sodomy laws...The legislature is so overwhelmed they simply haven't been able to act on any of the several proposals to repeal those silly laws about sucking cock. They have other business, and, after all, why bother if nobody is being arrested, right? Besides, the Governor himself said the Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court decision was the product of "nine oligarchs in robes", and he's right--there's no need for such heavy handed moves when the state is already an LGBT utopia!

So I hope you enjoy walking hand and hand with your husband on warm Texas nights....you can be assured that you'll warm the hearts of all the Texans you meet, who welcome same sex couples with , well, you can be sure they probably won't arrest you unless you do something awful, right?

[pole_smoker]

++

Well then, I expect that you'll take your winter vacation with your husband in "Texas, The LGBT Utopia". So heavenly is Texas that the legislatures have seen no reason to even bother to enact anti-discrimination laws in housing, employment or insurance....I mean, really! why make those complicated laws when there's never any discrimination! There's so much hysteria about all this "gay" stuff, and it's totally uncalled for. Look, jumpy local law enforcement agencies report 200 hate crimes a year, but fewer than one case a year ends up in jail. You see? There's nothing to those rumors.

And they don't even need to include gender identity as a hate crime, because it just doesn't exist. What's that mean, anyway, "gender identity"?? Well, it's just not part of the law, and anyway, they wouldn't need to enforce it like the sodomy laws...The legislature is so overwhelmed they simply haven't been able to act on any of the several proposals to repeal those silly laws about sucking cock. They have other business, and, after all, why bother if nobody is being arrested, right? Besides, the Governor himself said the Lawrence v. Texas Supreme Court decision was the product of "nine oligarchs in robes", and he's right--there's no need for such heavy handed moves when the state is already an LGBT utopia!

So I hope you enjoy walking hand and hand with your husband on warm Texas nights....you can be assured that you'll warm the hearts of all the Texans you meet, who welcome same sex couples with , well, you can be sure they probably won't arrest you unless you do something awful, right?

Typical professional victim mentality from a deeply closeted person that lives in fear, and who does not live in reality or really actually know other LGBT people or same sex couples living in other areas, states, or regions.

Vacationing to Texas? Why would we vacation in flyover country for the winter?

[oliveanddark]

This is a good topic, OK, I am 57 and find myself alone as a widower that has found transexual porn and strap on porn fascinating for a few years. I have always liked to be penetrated anally, but prefer a woman to do this, so transexuals really are a turn on for me. I had some bi experiences younger in life, what bothered me about them was it actually felt good and I was embarrassed about that, I got sucked mostly then, but I did get fucked by 3 guys over the course of the late 1970s, one of those was not fun, the other 2 times it was, but the 3rd one in the 1970s made me not want that for a long time. Well, enter the internet,quick access, and I noticed that I found the trannies cocks to be appealing, so, why not try a man? It works, I am more open minded, still makes me feel strange about it when it happens, but it feels good and it is so much easier to get action from other bi/bicurious males. Also really get turned on by a couple, a man and woman that are married, did this once and want to do it again. So, yes I am older, more open minded and more bi.

[whispering]

Typical professional victim mentality from a deeply closeted person that lives in fear, and who does not live in reality or really actually know other LGBT people or same sex couples living in other areas, states, or regions.

Vacationing to Texas? Why would we vacation in flyover country for the winter?

Congradulations, you just made my "IGNORE" list.