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  1. #1
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    Do older men turn bi???

    Just wondering why most bi-men are over 50, most of which are married, semmed to all of a sudden want to be with another guy, in some way or another.
    Did this come to the front, because of age---can they not find a female now, that turns them on---or is it something that as been there all along, but society didnt accept it till they got old enough not to care---
    Were they afraid of being called gay infront of their friends--
    Can you really be bi at 50 and not at 20? Maybe people are more open now?
    Just curious, because I find myself in the same sitituation. Have always thought of being with another guy, since the first time I was a teen. But never acted on it. Now that I am older, want to try it again.
    I am so confused??

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    From my experience, you have hit upon many of the reasons. Society is more open to exploring and discussing sexuality today than twenty or thirty years ago. Therefore, younger people are more open to exploring what was once more of a taboo more so today. They may explore comfortably what was once forbidden. Emotional expression between younger men may be less restrictive than it was for older men in their youth.

    I also suspect that there is something that happens to men as they mature after 40. There can be a huge shift in values. Perhaps a boredom of traditional sexual expression and a desire for excitement may become factors. Mid life values change from a twenty year old not just sexually but some may question how they will live the remaining years of their lives. The significance of sexual expression may change for some. Physical and emotional needs and desire may change. The body's responses changes sexually for some. Sexual urges may change and to add to it a more openness to explore. The drive to orgasm may change from an urgency to appreciating the journey of sexual body interaction becoming more important. A man may become more in tune with his body's erotic sensations beyond his cock.

    There may also be psychological experiences of disconnect and isolation from other men. As many men experience the "dream" falling apart, they experience marriage break up. The role of women's lib may cause a man to question many aspects of traditional relationships and their role in society. A change in attitude to no longer see other men as a threat in a competitive way. There may be a desire to regain that connection between men from their early parts of their young life in ways that have been seen as traditionally inappropriate for an adult male.


    Quote Originally Posted by loveatl View Post
    Just wondering why most bi-men are over 50, most of which are married, semmed to all of a sudden want to be with another guy, in some way or another.
    Did this come to the front, because of age---can they not find a female now, that turns them on---or is it something that as been there all along, but society didnt accept it till they got old enough not to care---
    Were they afraid of being called gay infront of their friends--
    Can you really be bi at 50 and not at 20? Maybe people are more open now?
    Just curious, because I find myself in the same sitituation. Have always thought of being with another guy, since the first time I was a teen. But never acted on it. Now that I am older, want to try it again.
    I am so confused??
    Last edited by tenni; Jul 7, 2010 at 6:52 PM.

  3. #3

    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    It does seem to be that older men are more open to it. I do wish the younger generation would wake up and be Bi, lol it would make my searching much easier.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    The role of women's lib may cause a man to question many aspects of traditional relationships and their role in society

    Women's Lib??? Whats that got to do with an older man deciding he'd like to try something that he passed on in the past?
    I say if you want to experiment and fullfill a desire, and no one will be distressed by it, like say wife, girlfriend, ect, then go for it!
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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Tenni,
    Why do you persist in your assumption that women isolate men from other men??? You constantly make comments suggesting that we insist that they give up their close friendships once we are married....that just isn't true across the board. Maybe it happened to YOU....or maybe it happened to YOUR friends...but it's not something that happens on a regular basis...and it's a far stretch to blame women for the onset of bisexuality in men when they reach older ages.
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Why bless your heart sweetie. If you read my first line, I wrote from my experience.

    I've been told this by many men who have had their marriage breakdown. That doesn't omit a man's role in the marriage breakdown or a failure to adapt to societal change but it is a reality from my experience. You do not have to accept it but then you are not living in a middle aged man's body. That is not to say that all men experience this. I know a lot of guys who give up on chics and turn to dicks after divorce one or two at least for awhile. They see it as easier and less complicated. That is not to say that they totally give up on women. For some it is a rebound experience of I wonder what sucking dick is like? etc...lol

    Kate
    It is not women who separate men from each other as often as it is men who separate themselves from other men more often than not. In some possibilities it is uncertainty or maybe even homophobia. Men are sometimes encouraged to see other men as competitors not all but it can be a pressure in business etc. But yes, I have seen men find themselves isolated other than work and their wives. I have heard men say that their wives do not want them to have friends and that is how the man sees it. It may not be how the wife sees it at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cherokee_Mountaincat View Post
    The role of women's lib may cause a man to question many aspects of traditional relationships and their role in society

    Women's Lib??? Whats that got to do with an older man deciding he'd like to try something that he passed on in the past?
    I say if you want to experiment and fullfill a desire, and no one will be distressed by it, like say wife, girlfriend, ect, then go for it!
    Have fun Sugar.
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    Last edited by tenni; Jul 7, 2010 at 7:10 PM.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Back'atcha Darlin. I see you have some experiance in this matter, so I'll concede this round to you.
    Have a great day Dumpling. :}
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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Another good question. I was in my late thirties when I "turned" bi. I had some experiences in my youth, but nothing I craved at all. Then it hit me like a tidal wave. I know why I turned bi, but I want to hear other's reasons first, just in case I'm way off base and start an international incident.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I feel that a couple of the guys I have talked to were definitely bi because of lack of women. Not to mention they were just bad at everything sex related. They were nice it just seemed obvious once I was with them why they were single and bi.

    I can't really speak on more than that as I am young and was bi with a girlfriend.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by n2b&d View Post
    Some men discover that they are bisexual or even gay later in life after being married for decades and living in the closet.

    A lot of older bisexual men on this site have said they have wives that are no longer beautiful, that do not have a desire for sex as much or at all after menopause, and many of these men's wives have let themselves go physically with their weight and do not age well.
    I am going to withhold my response because I am considering the source....but this REALLY pisses me off!
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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    I'm 70 and have been bi all my life, but I do know of others who have developed the "Taste" for same-gender intimacy later in life. I can think of at least 3 men, who tried (and liked it) when they were in their 50s and 60s.

    I know one older fellow who tried it, but quickly returned to his hetero life-style.

    I have a female friend who's first attempted a same-sex relationship was after her husband died. In fact, years ago, when I came out to her, she was aghast at the thought of my being with another man.

    She was 70, 3 years ago, when she moved in with another widow! To her surprise, they quickly became lovers. She told me that she is so sorry that she never attempted being with a woman before, because it's been one of the most thrilling and fulfilling relationships of her life.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by csrakate View Post
    I am going to withhold my response because I am considering the source....but this REALLY pisses me off!
    And they're off!!!!!

    Kate, have to defend the guy's opinion, cause he is absolutely right. Many, many people let themselves go after marriage. Happens all the time.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by n2b&d View Post
    Some men discover that they are bisexual or even gay later in life after being married for decades and living in the closet.

    A lot of older bisexual men on this site have said they have wives that are no longer beautiful, that do not have a desire for sex as much or at all after menopause, and many of these men's wives have let themselves go physically with their weight and do not age well.
    OMG this is a load of crap if ever there was one. Men want to suck the dicks of other men because their wive's let themselves go? Yup that is it, They don't say the wife is not fun anymore think I will fuck my secretary or hit on her sister, nope the say give me some man love. I know, their wives are at the point where that little mustache starts to grow and then don't tend to it. Then the guy say wtf if she is gonna look a guy I might as well go some dick!

    Who has said they are now bi because well "she didn't age well" name one. Let alone lots.

    Good laugh though

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    And they're off!!!!!

    Kate, have to defend the guy's opinion, cause he is absolutely right. Many, many people let themselves go after marriage. Happens all the time.
    Mikey...I have no intention in getting into a fight with that fellow or anyone else.....so your "And they're off" comment was not necessary.

    As a woman who has experienced menopause, who has had to suffer through a hysterectomy and diminished sex drive due to both situations, I find it sad that many men, the poster included, can be so cavalier to think that these are the reasons a man's attention turns to the same sex. This is not something a woman chooses. As a matter of fact, it is highly frustrating to be unable to achieve orgasm after years of being able to do so and to do so multiple times....it's highly frustrating to not get that special "tingle" when your husband touches you. But it is not a permanent situation and with a little time and a lot of understanding, this too passes.

    I struggled to do what I could to keep my husband satisfied during this time of our lives and I guess I am just damned lucky he didn't decide to bail on me when times were tough. We worked together as a couple to keep the love alive...and now that the struggle has passed, we have a fabulous sex life that would rival any. Don't be so quick to place the blame on the menopausal wife or the middle aged woman....it's not fun for them either....believe me. Can't men just accept that maybe...just maybe...they have decided to try their bi side because they are older and they don't want to die without having ever tried??? Couldn't it just be that the desire just deepens over time...Does it HAVE to be because they have an overweight, undersexed wife????
    Last edited by csrakate; Jul 7, 2010 at 8:11 PM.
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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    You know it is interesting about sexual drive. Sometimes a guy may lose it for awhile but I heard stories about really old guys fully demented still wanking. They were completely unaware that a nurse or whoever came in...wank..wank...lol

    The nurse that I knew never stated that women did that though? Maybe, guys are just horny toads all their lives...lol I just wonder if I will be a demented 80 year old wanking in my room oblivious to others....lol..oh my..embarrassed now for future errors.. I can not see me sucking dick though...getting my dick sucked yes. I never know though what I might do.

    I've also heard that medical people are surprised to discover that some people both men and women have strong sexual urges very late in life. As far as a partner letting themselves go, it can happen both ways. It doesn't make sense that would make a guy seek out dick but that would not surprise me. I won't write why...cuz it will cause a lot of stir.
    Last edited by tenni; Jul 7, 2010 at 8:13 PM.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    You know it is interesting about sexual drive. Sometimes a guy may lose it for awhile but I heard stories about really old guys fully demented still wanking. They were completely unaware that a nurse or whoever came in...wank..wank...lol

    The nurse that I knew never stated that women did that though? Maybe, guys are just horny toads all their lives...lol I just wonder if I will be a demented 80 year old wanking in my room oblivious to others....lol..oh my..embarrassed now for future errors.. I can not see me sucking dick though...getting my dick sucked yes. I never know though what I might do.

    I've also heard that medical people are surprised to discover that some people both men and women have strong sexual urges very late in life. As far as a partner letting themselves go, it can happen both ways. It doesn't make sense that would make a guy seek out dick but that would not surprise me. I won't write why...cuz it will cause a lot of stir.
    A fun fact, Tenni....especially with the introduction of Viagra, there is a major increase of STD's in nursing homes. Seems the old folks still do it...and do it quite often and with many different partners. Doesn't sound they they are too demented to find their way to the bed LOL!
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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Kate, please note that I specifically did not indicate any gender. Both men and women are guilty of letting themselves go.

    One woman I know, an old high school friend, has put on over 150 lbs in her first 10 years of marriage (just turned 40, so menopause is not the cause) and her husband is disgusted by it. And with the weight came a foul attitude. He has gone with her to doctors and what not, but she doesn't see the problem. She likes herself as she is now and is not going to change, says she feels empowered now. Actually she blames him for getting her pregnant twice. Blames the weight on the pregnancies. Is that right? She has turned him off women so completely now that he prefers the company of men. Yet he's still the same weight, and takes great care in his appearance and grooming.

    So when he hit on me, we fucked like wild in their back yard.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by n2b&d View Post
    That is because the men who have affairs with other men during middle age and say that it's because their wives no longer want sex and let themselves go are bisexual or gay and are not heterosexual despite being married to a woman.

    If these men were straight they would not go have sex with men or want it instead if they were going to stray they'd have sex with women like you wrote. I never said that these middle aged married men that have sex with men were hetero or straight to begin with.

    csrakate and other women here do not want to hear this fact or accept that some women do lose their sex drive after kids and menopause and let themselves go but it does happen and it is a reason why men both bisexual and straight decide to have affairs on their wives.

    Lots of closeted Bisexual married men have the idea that "Hey my wife isn't wanting sex anymore after menopause, having kids, and letting herself go. I've always been curious about what sex with a guy is like, or I want to try it again since the last time I did it with a guy I was younger. What she does not know won't hurt her! It's just sex!"
    The original post was do older men turn bi and you said they do because the women are ugly. The sex drive or no sex drive of wives has nothing to do with bi curiosities, totally absurd.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by just4mefc View Post
    The original post was do older men turn bi and you said they do because the women are ugly. The sex drive or no sex drive of wives has nothing to do with bi curiosities, totally absurd.
    Why??

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by n2b&d View Post
    .....
    Any woman who purposely withholds sex from her husband or who refuses to eat right and exercise, get help for a low sex drive, or who refuses to even acknowledge that she has these issues or talk about them is not helping matters and is playing sick mind games with her husband.
    .....

    Dude seriously you need help. ROFLMFAO. I am sure this attitude is a real hit with the ladies lol Of course I have been to this circus before and know who I am dealing with, some clowns never stop crawling out from under the same damn car. But you sure do make me smile

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Why??
    Why what Mikey my man? Why is it absurd that men turn "bi" because their wives are ugly? If it were as simplistic as this, we would have no need for hookers nor "the other woman" now would we? OMG it just makes me smile so much. I want a situation comedy about this. Perhaps featuring GW and Barbara Bush. GW says "I slept with Chaney because you are not as sexy as you use to be. I think you made me a Bisexable or sumthin" TOO DAMN FUNNY

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    It worked for Mimi Rogers. She got tired of dealing with men (three marriages) and is now a lesbian, or are you going to say she was closeted all her life?

    Why do you find it so hard to accept that some people have such bad experiences with the opposite sex that they try pitching for the other team? Many others on here have discussed the fluidity of human sexuality, so why can't someone choose to try the same sex? Or should we not have that choice and just pin it on genetics? There will always be a need for hookers and "other women", as long as marriage exists, but for some, it is a valid choice to try the other side, and I say all the power to them. And for some reason, I expect that men and women will differ on this topic, so let's see if I'm right.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by just4mefc View Post
    Why what Mikey my man? Why is it absurd that men turn "bi" because their wives are ugly? If it were as simplistic as this, we would have no need for hookers nor "the other woman" now would we? OMG it just makes me smile so much. I want a situation comedy about this. Perhaps featuring GW and Barbara Bush. GW says "I slept with Chaney because you are not as sexy as you use to be. I think you made me a Bisexable or sumthin" TOO DAMN FUNNY
    This topic is finally getting serious
    I vote for a show where Bruce is explaining to Demi why he keeps going over to Brads house
    Without being serious
    let us doofers describe how we got this way, its a good discussion non deserving of a shutdown - much more offensive attitudes out there
    we all might learn something
    let's own our own sexuality

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    It worked for Mimi Rogers. She got tired of dealing with men (three marriages) and is now a lesbian, or are you going to say she was closeted all her life?

    Why do you find it so hard to accept that some people have such bad experiences with the opposite sex that they try pitching for the other team? Many others on here have discussed the fluidity of human sexuality, so why can't someone choose to try the same sex? Or should we not have that choice and just pin it on genetics? There will always be a need for hookers and "other women", as long as marriage exists, but for some, it is a valid choice to try the other side, and I say all the power to them.
    Whoa there buddy get off your High horse and smooth your feathers. I was commenting on a specific claim that men become Bi because the woman was ugly. I did not say any of this other crap you are trying to applying to me. Did I mention Mimi Rogers? Did I question the fluidity of sex? NOPE. If you read any of my posts you would know I personally feel we are all born bisexual as a species and life nurtures us to choose the ends of str8 OR Gay. So of course I know anyone at anytime can discover what I would call their true self. So I echo your words "more power to them"

    I am responding to my favorite clown on this site who always beats the same damn drum. Gets banned, puts on a new nose and then crawls out from another mini car only to have the exact same bit. He makes me smile with his absurdity.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    all the older guys i know turn bi so they can suck a dick and get it in the ass because they like it the ones i do it too i also do there wifes in threesomes that is the only i will do bi is in a threesome

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by just4mefc View Post
    Whoa there buddy get off your High horse and smooth your feathers. I was commenting on a specific claim that men become Bi because the woman was ugly. I did not say any of this other crap you are trying to applying to me. Did I mention Mimi Rogers? Did I question the fluidity of sex? NOPE. If you read any of my posts you would know I personally feel we are all born bisexual as a species and life nurtures us to choose the ends of str8 OR Gay. So of course I know anyone at anytime can discover what I would call their true self. So I echo your words "more power to them"

    I am responding to my favorite clown on this site who always beats the same damn drum. Gets banned, puts on a new nose and then crawls out from another mini car only to have the exact same bit. He makes me smile with his absurdity.
    My high horse? Smooth my feathers? Trying to apply "crap" to you? LOL! I thought I gave my opinions, not at all quoting you. Really. I can think for my self. But I'll take the following poster's advice and not get drawn in to a squabble.

    Quote Originally Posted by wrzwldo69 View Post
    This topic is finally getting serious
    I vote for a show where Bruce is explaining to Demi why he keeps going over to Brads house
    Without being serious
    let us doofers describe how we got this way, its a good discussion non deserving of a shutdown - much more offensive attitudes out there
    we all might learn something
    let's own our own sexuality
    Ok, I'll go first. For me it is being surrounded by females my entire life. My dad died when I was very young and I had no one to step in as a positive male role model. I was raised by my mom, an older sister and an aunt.

    So in short, it was a total lack of male affection growing up, then once again finding myself surrounded by women later in life, that triggered me "turning bi" in my mid thirties and thus my search for male affection. Yeah, I know, Freud would have a ball with me, but I don't care. I like me. I found what was lacking and I fixed it. No harm, no fowl. BTW, this transformation happened rather quick, just a few years ago when I was 37.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    my dad died early and we never enjoyed an adult relationship
    sometimes i wonder if that is part of it - though i am not drawn sexually to older men
    i will go back to evolution and biology- if it got us from protozoa to discussing this in a relatively short period of time
    what is it doing today
    nature or nuture???

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Well, like many other older bi guys I've talked to, I had sexual experiances with a friend as puperty was setting in. At 16 though we were both into girls and nothing else. Later in life though, I guess afer 50 or so, my desires shifted more to the things me and my buddy used to do. I read some were that as men age thier testosterone levels decrease to levels simular to the ones they had at puberty. When testosterone is down, estrogen, though more a costant, has a larger effect. Could be the reason.

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    My own personal story is that as a younger guy 14 I received orl sex form a man and contiuned having guys service me orally till I was about 25. Then after many years of marriage and an a divorce in the works I meet a bi couple on AFF and from there meet more bi guys. I myself do not suck but do enjoy the way a giuy can make me feel ..

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    Re: Do older men turn bi???

    Quote Originally Posted by csrakate View Post
    Mikey...I have no intention in getting into a fight with that fellow or anyone else.....so your "And they're off" comment was not necessary.

    As a woman who has experienced menopause, who has had to suffer through a hysterectomy and diminished sex drive due to both situations, I find it sad that many men, the poster included, can be so cavalier to think that these are the reasons a man's attention turns to the same sex. This is not something a woman chooses. As a matter of fact, it is highly frustrating to be unable to achieve orgasm after years of being able to do so and to do so multiple times....it's highly frustrating to not get that special "tingle" when your husband touches you. But it is not a permanent situation and with a little time and a lot of understanding, this too passes.

    I struggled to do what I could to keep my husband satisfied during this time of our lives and I guess I am just damned lucky he didn't decide to bail on me when times were tough. We worked together as a couple to keep the love alive...and now that the struggle has passed, we have a fabulous sex life that would rival any. Don't be so quick to place the blame on the menopausal wife or the middle aged woman....it's not fun for them either....believe me. Can't men just accept that maybe...just maybe...they have decided to try their bi side because they are older and they don't want to die without having ever tried??? Couldn't it just be that the desire just deepens over time...Does it HAVE to be because they have an overweight, undersexed wife????


    Your explanation is definitely correct about me and I have never been married.

    I have always been bisexual (significantly more toward gay side of bisexual) all of my life. But, I never did anything about it until I was 58 yrs old. In spite of the lack of sexual satisfaction, I was happy with life and believed that acting on sexual my feeling would not increased my satisfaction with life. Further, I suspect it would have significantly reduced happiness, given social and family imposed penalties. So, I have no regrets about my choice, much of what I very much treasure in my life would not have happened if I was actively bisexual earlier in life.
    But, at 58, the thought of never having sex with another man before I die started causing nightmares.
    Now, I have had the same male partner for almost 5 years.
    Now, sex is absolutely fabulous.

    But, I am not out to family and friends. Although, I am sure some friends know because I do not limit my life to avoid detection. So, will my sexuality cause me problems? Yes, I am sure it will cause significant problems at some point.
    But, I have good dreams now and I won’t die without knowing the joy of having sex with another man just the way I was always suppose to have sex, maybe from the time I was born. With some luck, he and I will be special for each other until the end of one of us.
    JEM

 

 

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