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  1. #1

    Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Following are some suggestions on placing and replying to Personal Ads on Bisexual.com.

    Part A - Placing an Ad
    • Tip 1 - Our Ads are "freeform style", meaning we don't ask you a lot of questions. It has some advantages. But there is a drawback - it means you are not actually "forced" to explain a lot of things, such as the kind of relationship you are looking for, for example. So the emphasis is on YOU to describe yourself and what you are looking for. Here's some strong suggestions for things you should consider mentioning in your ad.

      1. Describe what kind of relationship(s) you are looking for. Are you looking for coffee and conversation, or sex? There's a big difference . If you are open to all kinds of relationships then explicitely say so. Don't assume that if you don't say, people will realize that you are open to any kind of interaction/relationship with other bi folks. They will likely simply not respond to your ad if you aren't clear what kind of relationship(s) you are open to.
      2. Describe what gender of person(s) you are looking for. Males only? M/F couples? Females only? Any?
      3. Describe the qualities you are looking for in the person(s). Age range, if important? Body type, if important? Professional or not? Is education level important? Is easy-going/low-maintenance important? Are habits regarding smoking or drugs important? Is maritial status important? Is being bi important - ie can interested gay and straight folks also respond?
      4. Your Ad does not need to be really long, but it should be obviously serious. Eight-word Ads don't get any kind of quality responses; it's as simple as that. If you write your ad in 20 seconds, then you are going to get responses that took only half that time to write, and they aren't going to be serious. It's a waste of your time. These kind of Ads may be disabled by us to maintain the quality of the Ads on Bisexual.com.
      5. Describe yourself. We ask you for your age and some other very basic info about you, but the rest is up to you. You will want to describe your personality either explicitly or implied through the tone of your ad.
      6. Ensure the Summary of your Ad is filled in and explains the basics. This is all that is displayed for folks on the front page and the Search Profiles results - the body of your ad is not displayed. So it is the summary that people will read to decide if they are going to click and read your detailed ad.


    • Tip 2 - Update your ad often. There are two reasons why this helps a lot...
      One, quality personal ads get quality responses and more of them. "Tweaking" your ad is the single best thing you can do if you are serious about meeting folks. If you get asked the same questions again and again in the responses to your ad, then you should consider clarifying your ad to address these questions up front. The more clear and detailed you are about what you are looking for, the more likely others are to respond.
      Two, whenever you edit your Ad you "go back to the top of the list" so to speak. We display people's Ads on both the front page of the site, and on the Search Profiles pages. They are shown in the order they were last placed or editted - the more recently placed or editted Ads at the top. So when you tweak your Ad it moves back to the top of the list and is much more visible. How's that for a tip?
    • Tip 3 - Visit the site every two months at least. If you haven't logged onto the site in the last two months your ad is automatically disabled and you are you sent an email (if you have "Accept Email from Administrators" enabled) explaining this to you. This is our way of ensuring that there are very few "dead wood" Ads. So visit the site every two months at least, so your ad is viewable by other members. We never delete your ad, but "disabling" it hides it from viewing by other members.

    • Tip 4 - If you don't visit the site often (say once a week or less) you should seriously consider enabling two settings: "Receive Email from Other Members" and "Receive Email Notification of New Private Messages". (Under My Bisexual.com >> Edit Options) This ensures that responses to your ad are forwarded to your email address, so you get them right away, rather than delayed until you next log into Bisexual.com.

    Part B - Repying to an Ad
    • Tip 5 - Having a quality Personal Ad yourself (see Part A) makes replying to an Ad much easier. Your own Personal Ad will give a lot of the information that you would otherwise want to include in a response to an Ad - things like what type of relationship you are looking for and so on. If you have a quality Personal Ad then your response to another Ad can be quite concise and will save you much time. When responding to an Ad, you do NOT need to specifically point the person to your profile - a link to your own Profile/Personal Ad will be included in the email or private message (whatever the case may be).

    • Tip 6 - Briefly explain why you think the person who placed the Ad and yourself are a good fit. This shows, first of all, that you actually read the person's Personal Ad, and did so with interest - and that you know what you are looking for, and have determined that the two of you (or more) have compatible interests. I often state the obvious when replying to Ad, something like "We seem to have mutual interests", or "We seem to be looking for the same things".

    • Tip 7 - You may want to look at the date the person last visited the site, when deciding whether to respond to their Ad. This info is in the person's profile at the bottom-right of the large box containing the person's username in large letters - see image. If they haven't been on the site in a while then they are more likely to be slow to reply to messages about their ad. We assist in this by disabling Ads placed by people who haven't visited the site in the last two months - it gets rid of the "dead wood" Ads.

    • Tip 8 - If the person who placed the Ad has enabled the setting for other users to send them email, then this is the fastest way to contact the person. Private messaging is the alternative, but then the person may not get the message until they log into Bisexual.com.
    Last edited by Drew; Mar 21, 2005 at 1:05 AM.

  2. #2
    str8biguy38
    Guest

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    I aggree with all of this, but most of us like to be able to see someone, even if it is in cogneato.I agree with all of this, but would like to add the following. I know when I get a message from someone its nice to be able to look at their profile and see what they have to say and possible pictures. To me being able to see a picture, even if it is just your cock, it eases my mind about who I’m receiving and replying to in a message. It also gives you something to write about.

    I’m one of the most shy people I know but I have some very exposing pictures and it has helped in responses and contacts.

  3. #3

    Question Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Drew thanks for this thread....I hope folks follow your sugestions..I am new on this site and have been a little surprised how little information there is in peoples profiles.....and how few have pictures...compared to other meet ya type sites people here seem really shy....or is it something else?...it is a little creepy....a certain level of anonyimity is good but come on folks lets loosen up a bit
    Katie

  4. #4
    bidalake
    Guest

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Thanks for your advice as time goes on I'll get better at editing my add to fit the taste of the viewers.Since I have been a member I've only had two hits but they didn't leed to anything, maybe in time that will change due to the advice that you gave.So once again thanks.

  5. #5

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by str8biguy38
    I aggree with all of this, but most of us like to be able to see someone, even if it is in cogneato.I agree with all of this, but would like to add the following. I know when I get a message from someone its nice to be able to look at their profile and see what they have to say and possible pictures. To me being able to see a picture, even if it is just your cock, it eases my mind about who I’m receiving and replying to in a message. It also gives you something to write about.

    I’m one of the most shy people I know but I have some very exposing pictures and it has helped in responses and contacts.
    Pix are almost a must on any personal ad, just to show you're not lurking to take other people pix (for whatever reason). At the same time, I NEVER understand why people post their faces (unless they're really comfortable with themselves!), especially to an "out there" forum like this, since you know that someone's going to find them who you wish didn't.

    I'm 1/2 shy and 1/2 exhibitionistic. I love it when people look at my bod & get turned on by it, whether they email me or not.

  6. #6

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by Apleasureseeker
    Pix are almost a must on any personal ad, just to show you're not lurking to take other people pix (for whatever reason). At the same time, I NEVER understand why people post their faces (unless they're really comfortable with themselves!), especially to an "out there" forum like this, since you know that someone's going to find them who you wish didn't.

    I'm 1/2 shy and 1/2 exhibitionistic. I love it when people look at my bod & get turned on by it, whether they email me or not.
    well.....I am shy and dont consider myself an exhibitionist.......but I really dont think this forum is "out there"........my sexuality is who I am......nothing to hide here...so thanks...I guess I am comfortable (I never thought of it that way).......most of those close to me....know who I am......and if someone in my life "discovers" me here and wants to ask questions and be shocked...I will happily talk to them.......after all they would probably be exploring this site for reasons of thier own.........Katie
    Katie

  7. #7

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by katie
    wellmost of those close to me....know who I am......and if someone in my life "discovers" me here and wants to ask questions and be shocked...I will happily talk to them.......after all they would probably be exploring this site for reasons of thier own.........Katie
    so true Katie...
    got me thinking i ll change my pic or add 1
    BIGREGORY
    BI and loving it

  8. #8

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    nice take katie, makes me feel safe to post my pics

  9. #9

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Again, regarding Pix, IMHO, Facial pix would be best, the sexy bods nakee or not I feel should be put in your personal gallery. Just makes sense to me. I don't have issues with it though peeps do as they will heh. *note* another thread covers some of these issues on the forum
    I Fell In A Pile Of You, And Got Love All Over Me[B]/B]

  10. #10

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Ok I got all of this now how do I add a Vcard?
    I be darn

  11. #11

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    About the picture thing - I prefer facial pictures or clothed pictures because sometimes I'm surfing with my kids playing around the computer - I don't want some porno picture coming up when I look at someone's profile! I guess it's all about why you're at this site. I'm here to make friends, get advice, and possibly more while others are here to get sex. Each to their own, but I agree that the porno/nudy shots should be not be on the personal page (hey, but I don't make the rules).

  12. #12

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    As far as posting photos. If someone goes through the bother to register with this site chances are they won't be at all shocked assuming they came here for pretty much the same reasons as most other folks here. And i most assuredly agree with alley cat when it comes to nude photos, all men have them (women as well).

    Lisa

    hugs n kisses

  13. #13

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Hi. This is my first message here, although I've frequented the chat rooms quite a bit.

    The photo thing is interesting to me because I took the plunge and put one up a few days ago. This nerved me a bit because I was concerned about accidently outing myself to my friends. Obviously anyone who discovered me would be bi themselves, but I do know bi people so that is quite likely!

    I think it's a process of just getting used to the fact, and putting up a picture is a step closer.

    On another site I put up a picture of my torso, which I think was kind of like an inbetween step. And then I started privately sending facial pictures to people. Now, I've started to use my real name. It's a case of gradually becoming comfortable with it.

    As far as naked pictures go, I couldn't really care less about them. It's nice to know if someone is fit or not, but you gain so much more from somebody's face. I like looking at naked people, but I don't find it a turn on unless I can see their face.

    At the end of the day though, that's not really why I'm here. Like Alleycat said I'm here to find like minded people to discuss things with. Most people live hundreds or thousands of miles away so I'm probably not going to get to meet them. That's fine.

    This site just provides a facinating way of figuring out this part of my life.

    I do wish more people would fill out their profiles so that I can get to know them better as friends though.

  14. #14

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    I want to thak Drew for this post, it contains some very useful information. Just a few comments: I have yet to post a pic--perhaps I shall soon. As far as the kind of pictures people post, I don't have any problem with folks posting pics of their body parts--this is a website by and for consenting adults looking to meet other consenting adults for relationships, fun or whatever.
    The thing that does get me is so many people put no info at all in their profile--you make it easy to post the info.

    I know that in a number of cases, it is because these folks are still relatively new to exploring this part of themselves and they are self-concious about their situation and have yet to feel comfortable about sharing much about themselves.

    I would urge such individuals go beyond their reticence by putting at least a minimum amount of info on thieir profile page if they are really serious about meeting anyone here. From what I have gathered thus far, this web site is the best one I have found that deals with bisexuality and is a great place for people to meet, get information and have a chance to discuss issues relating to bisexuality.

    They don't have to write a book and ramble on like I tend to do--simply proivde some basic stuff--you can always go back to amend as you feel more comfortable and learn more about what you want.

    I have noted one negative factor on the site---I have begun to visit the chat room to try to meet people in the community. I am finding that within moments of arriving, I start getting what I call "pings" or IMs from people wanting to chat--these pingers are in the room but not taking part in the conversation.

    At first--my thought about this is that such individuals are shy and that is the way they can engage, but I am changing my mind about that assumption.

    When I pull up their profiles--almost to a person--they have no profile info at all or the profile is sketchy at best such that it is basically worthless, so you have no way to know what these folks are looking for as they used to say back in the 60s--"where are you at man?"

    It seems that once you have said "hi" and not a whole heck of a lot more--the question comes from them like "wanna play?" or some such query meaning they want to cyber.

    I will admit--I have been doing some cyber with some people--it took a bit to get there and while it is but a pale imitation of a "real" sexual encounter--for now it will have to do. I just don't really want to go to cyber right off the bat.

    This has made me amend my profile in recent days to insert, taking from comedian Bill Maher's phrase: A NEW RULE. My rule is that I don't care to cyber with someone who hasn't provided even a modicum of info about themselves in their profiles.

    So Drew--I ask you to put a thread up about this topic--to profile or not profile?--to see what everyone elses thoughts are on this subject and how they deal with this.

    It seems to me that if someone who "pounces" on other people by IMing them seeking to cyber even though they know very little about you and what they do tend to ask are questons like: what do you look like? how big are you?--such a person is not really all that shy-- and are probably not new to exploring their bisexual side.

    It has a degree of creepiness about it that they are not engaging with people in the main chat rooms and instead chose to merely "lurk." I don't have any problem private chatting if we have been talking in the main room and there might be more interest.

    I say to "newbies" who are serious about exploring this side of themselves, whether it is that they are truly bisexual or this is just a transition stage to going gay--that doesn't really matter to me. I don't know where this is going to lead for me but "you have to crawl before ...." This place is a great place to start crawling.

    So to my fellow newbies please just go ahead and openly chat and definitely post some profile info--no one is going to bite you--with the exception of the lurkers--it seems to me that the people who come to Bisexual.com are nice folks and they have not only their best interests at heart, but those of others as well.

    Perhaps I am being overly sensitive about this subject--I am not a shrinking violet--but if this disturbs me--I can imagine that someone who is just really starting out their exploration into this part of themselves--encountering this kind of behavior can scare the more timid away. That would be too bad--for I am finding that for so many, this searching is difficult, frustrating and scary.
    This web site can be of great service to folks.

    Your thoughts, Drew and the community.....
    Last edited by 12voltman59; Nov 12, 2005 at 12:15 PM.
    "Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere..." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

  15. #15

    Thumbs up Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Thanks for these sentiments 12volt!!!

    You articulated something far better than I have been able to, and I really appreciate it.

    This is a great site! I think anything THIS great has plenty room to grow and respond to changing needs of its populace.

    I tend to have free time 9thus able to be on here) at odd hours for someone hailing from the US, so the people I have met most often in the chatroom are a different set of regulars than the average American or Canadian might see.

    I think that its great to have such outreach into a greater community!

    Thank you thank you thank you!!!

    Is it possible to allow those seeking cyber easier access to one another by adding a lable or flag to their icon [only upon entering the chatroom]? (Thereby also making it easier for those who might choose to avoid cyberers identifyable.)

    This would not serve to limit or inhibit anyone, simply add a point of clarity to the intentions of users for greater visibility.

    Just a thought.





  16. #16

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by 3naib
    Thanks for these sentiments 12volt!!!

    You articulated something far better than I have been able to, and I really appreciate it.

    This is a great site! I think anything THIS great has plenty room to grow and respond to changing needs of its populace.

    I tend to have free time 9thus able to be on here) at odd hours for someone hailing from the US, so the people I have met most often in the chatroom are a different set of regulars than the average American or Canadian might see.

    I think that its great to have such outreach into a greater community!

    Thank you thank you thank you!!!

    Is it possible to allow those seeking cyber easier access to one another by adding a lable or flag to their icon [only upon entering the chatroom]? (Thereby also making it easier for those who might choose to avoid cyberers identifyable.)

    This would not serve to limit or inhibit anyone, simply add a point of clarity to the intentions of users for greater visibility.

    Just a thought.




    In chat you can go to "my profile" then click "avatar" that will give you a semi-personal ID.You can also block anyone bothering you.Not sure if this helps..
    BIGREGORY
    BI and loving it

  17. #17
    searchingbrian
    Guest

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by Apleasureseeker
    Pix are almost a must on any personal ad, just to show you're not lurking to take other people pix (for whatever reason). At the same time, I NEVER understand why people post their faces (unless they're really comfortable with themselves!), especially to an "out there" forum like this, since you know that someone's going to find them who you wish didn't.

    I'm 1/2 shy and 1/2 exhibitionistic. I love it when people look at my bod & get turned on by it, whether they email me or not.

    I understand your hesitancy to post a facial picture but it does help most of us put a face to whomever we are chatting with. Some of us also talk on the phone and know each others voices, laughter, etc. so the cyberchat is partially a real one. Finally, I don't know that there are alot of people surfing through bisexual.com to discover pics of their aquaintances, coworkers, or family. Probably just doesn't happen, so that fear is not well founded. Also, cyberspace is usually the best place for shy people to "expose" their inner selves to others because there are no direct repercussions to the exposure since all is essentially semi anonymous...
    just my thoughts

  18. #18

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by searchingbrian
    Finally, I don't know that there are alot of people surfing through bisexual.com to discover pics of their aquaintances, coworkers, or family. Probably just doesn't happen, so that fear is not well founded.
    Though even this may vary from person to person, depending on your situation. I once knew a stranger's name at a bi meeting because I'd seen her photo with an article she wrote for a bi publication.

    Sure, you might say, but isn't everyone reading those either bi or bi-friendly? They probably are - but there are some strange sorts in the bi community. I like the idea that I can feel free to discuss personal issues here without some stranger sidling up to me at the International Bi Conference (or whatever) and saying "So you prefer the uncut ones?" or whatever.

  19. #19

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    I have to agree with Driver 8. Many people have very good reasons for refraining from posting their pics online. Military men have lost their jobs because of putting their pics in online profiles. Sometimes other bis and gays can develop resentment of you and may use your online profile to hamper you.

    J
    If sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

  20. #20

    Thumbs up Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Drew, I am with everyone else, that these tips are extremely useful.

    I also chime in to agree with Katie, and Luston. A picture of the face is important to me, because it's my exposure of my own personality that I'm expressing.
    All the friends that I care about know I'm bi. I have to be honest with myself, and be in touch with who I am.

    I like to think this way: what if my best friend knew that one "big secret", would it end the relationship? If so, then how good a friendship could it be?
    My coming to terms with my sexuality is what brought me over here. It's also what shattered my past life.

    If someone at work knew, then it would create some ripples, but I'd work through it. I've been through alot worse.

    I want people over here to get to know me. I want to get to know you.
    That's pretty much what pulled me here.
    there's a fine line between being bored and being boring!

  21. #21

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    I have changed somewhat in my interests here and wish mainly to converse. I refrained from placing a face pic because of the obvious, but I did state directly what my posture is and I do enjoy the profiles, pics or not (ladies please feel free to post your pics!)

  22. #22

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyV
    I have to agree with Driver 8. Many people have very good reasons for refraining from posting their pics online. Military men have lost their jobs because of putting their pics in online profiles. Sometimes other bis and gays can develop resentment of you and may use your online profile to hamper you.

    J

    Thank you - that is precisely why I have not posted a picture of my face. There are people who can not be trusted with that much information. I'm not out of the closet to the whole world yet (it's a tad dangerous where I live) and just feel like I could be asking for trouble.

    Perhaps if and when I come all the way out of the closet I would do something like that.
    I believe that all mammals are inherently bisexual to one degree or another. Many of the greatest learned cultures in history accepted it. So... When did it suddenly become so wrong?


    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Midsouth_Bisexual_Guys_Support_Group/

  23. #23

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    pic's, notwithstanding, it's all about friendship. Thank you Drew for building a wonderful site.

    Fred
    undefined"For in the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."

  24. #24

    Cool Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Wow, those are some super-great tips... I think I'll be editing my profile after I submit this post!!!

    I'm starting to come out of the closet, my parents and sister know, and a few cousins... and my close friends (and some not-so-close ones too) also know. And I signed up to GayCanada.com in February 2006, as well as some other gay/lesbian/bi-friendly sites, and I've got about 35 new GLBT contacts on my MSN list now from people in my city and around the country, many of whom I have now met in person (and been on some dates with, hehehe)

    I also took a BIG step recently by posting a blog on my MSN profile letting people know (indirectly) that I'm bisexual. That was a big step for me. A lot of people don't know YET, and some people who I don't wish to start a discussion with them on the topic will just have to find it out on their own! But that took quite a bit of courage on my part, and I'm proud of myself for that step.

    I posted some pictures on my profile on here when I signed up, but I don't think I have my Avatar thingy working yet. Never fear, it will be here (soon).

    Ok, so it's 4:14 a.m. here... Time to edit profile /// sleep!!

  25. #25

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by I-be-darn
    Ok I got all of this now how do I add a Vcard?
    I noticed that you could check a box to make a Vcard under "Edit Options (including Privacy)". I didn't bother with checking it myself for reasons I will state below.

    About the picture discussion going on here...

    Some of you have gotten me extraordinarily frightened. I was playing a MMORPG, and a guy started harassing me. As you can here on bisexual.com, I selected to put him in my ignore list and forget about him. He found out my real name from some real life friends in the game. With that information he found out where I lived, and I have no idea how he found out my husband was going away for a weekend. He abandoned his wife and two children, and showed up on my doorstep. He was demanding, but did not manage to break down the door before the police arrived.

    That nightmare is long over with, but are some of you saying I am exposing myself to similar danger just by putting a picture of my face up on my add? This guy from the MMORPG never had a picture of my face... I don't think.

    Some references were made to military or living in redneck areas. Is posting my face more safe living in my neighborhood where I am completely comfortable being out? Am I safer being a non-military woman?

    I guess I am having trouble seeing how my face can put me in more danger than if they knew my real name or address. Is your face only dangerous if you do not want to be outed? Many of you speak of danger, but do not state what the danger is. Please articulate it for me, as I don't want my naivety to get me in trouble again.

    All this from a wonderful article teaching us how to divulge more information about ourselves so that we can better connect with each other! I clicked on this article in the spirit of getting to know you all better, not hide from you! So although some of you have me frightened, my face is staying on my newly updated add. Please, please, please articulate why I should take it down if you feel I am being reckless.

    Thank you so much,
    Rhuth

  26. #26

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Rhuth,

    I can only speak for myself. I am a teacher. If I were to lose my job, I would not be able to provide for my wife and child. If a student who was unhappy with a grade decided to try to destroy my life, and there was a picture of my face on a website that he could easily save, there is no end of havoc that student could wreak on me. He could claim that I was hitting on him or sexually harrassing him. He could create a new yahoo account with some bizarre name and put "JohnnyV" somewhere in the heading, then email himself and pretend that it was me who wrote it. He could download my picture and create a whole other personal on some other site. I would be defenseless before his falsehoods because my picture on bisexual.com would essentially serve as evidence of a pattern.

    If you think that this is paranoia on my part, all you have to do is visit the abundance of forums that now allow college students to post whatever they feel like about professors, using the professors' real names but posting under aliases so the complaining students are unidentified.

    People in the military would be at risk, because if someone didn't like them, the spiteful party could forward the URL with a person's picture to the person's commanding officer, and under Don't Ask Don't Tell a discharge would be necessary.

    Teachers, police officers, and military people are not the only ones whose jobs involve, fairly or unfairly, expectations that they will observe a kind of social decency as part of their jobs. As people who are embracing a sexual identity that many people view as indecent, our jobs are at stake.

    That's why I will not post my picture, and many people are not in a position to do it. Those who do post their picture are fortunate and shouldn't feel afraid. But it depends on the person and what his or her job is. The other issues you are talking about, regarding people stalking you, are not what concerns me so much as to posting pictures.

    J
    If sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

  27. #27

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    *hugs Johny V* You are the best! Your post was quite articulate and covered all of my concerns.

    My fears got alleviated in a matter of minutes, but with your profession you have to keep your fears to guard you. From now on adds without a face get an extra dose of respect instead of suspicion from me. No wonder it wasn't included in the tips for personal adds!

    /Rhuth

    P.S. I ran my post through the spell-checker this time now that I know a teacher is reading it!

  28. #28

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    I'm not strongly anti-picture across the board - like so many things, I think it's a case where people need to weigh the risks and the benefits. Just because it's a hazard for some people doesn't mean it's a hazard for everyone.

    In my own case - I don't feel like I gain anything by posting a pic, since I'm not looking for a relationship (and, therefore, don't need to rule people out who don't like my looks.) What I might lose is this: I'm moderately active with local bi groups, and these groups attract a certain percentage of nuts. I'd rather not easily be connected to the fairly personal material I've posted here. (And the Midwestern bi world is small enough that I have gone to local meetings and recognized strangers by photos I'd seen of them.)

    So, for me, it's not that I'm afraid that people will find out I'm bi; it's that I enjoy talking about some of the more personal subjects that come up, but only so long as I feel that I still have some privacy left.

    As I said, though, that's going to be a different calculation for everyone. It sounds like you've already dealt with the worst and handled it with aplomb, so I doubt you have anything to worry about.

  29. #29

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Rhuth I am sorry that you had such a frightful experience. Unfortunately there are predators out there. Please tell me what a MMORPG is.
    I fully understand why people don't post pics. However a blank profile is frustrating. You have no insight into the person. I for one am not into cybering. I prefer to read and respond to the threads and posts and to visit in the chat room. I think we have a friendly group and everyone who enters can speak up.
    I have updated my profile from my first posting. This site helped me to decide what it is that I am looking for and so I edited my profile to reflect that. Maybe it's about time to do it again.

    ur ever luvin
    usedbear

  30. #30

    Re: Tips on Using the Personal Ads

    Quote Originally Posted by usedbear1950
    Please tell me what a MMORPG is.
    "Massive multi-player online role-playing game," like Everquest or City of Heroes.

 

 

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