Discreet or cheat? What is the difference?

[Long Duck Dong]

I know I will be attacked by the "Right Fighters". And that's fine. But I have written in the past of how sometimes cheating is right thing to do. As in with the story of my Aunt that died of brain cancer, who months before she died had regressed to that of a 2-3 year old child. My Uncle found comfort in another woman's arms, and I find that was best to do, considering even though legally he still had "marriage rights" with my aunt, having sex with her would have been rape and almost like child rape.

yes, I agree.... under NZ law, the uncle could have been charged with spousal rape as his wife would have been deemed unable to give consent......
I am not sure how the laws apply in other countries there.....

there is a underlying issue there that mentally, the aunt was not the person who he married, she is wife in body, but her mind is far removed from the state at the point of marriage.....

again it challenges my stance against cheating, as its impossible for the uncle to express to or inform his wife of what is going on.....
that clearly removes the resolution or right of choice for the aunt.....

that leaves me only with the options of being judgmental over his * cheating * and labelling him as a dishonest person etc etc..... OR... accepting of the fact that circumstances had changed on a level that is far beyond normal resolution.....

while it would be easy to walk the moral high way.... and be a opinionated bigot full of my own self importance..... I perfer to be a hypocrite on my own stance against cheating....and accept that while some people may cheat.... there are times when being judgmental serves no purpose at all, and its best for one such as me, to admit that yes I do accept cheating happens and can well be understandable and acceptable.....

takes off my halo..... and joins the rest of the human race.....

[FalconAngel]

Dude, You're fucking cracked in the head.

Problem with that statement is that I did not say that you did lie about that. I posed it as a possibility, an option or "choice" to pick from, based on existing evidence and your statements.
I never said it as a definitive statement.
And you have not really been doing anything to prove that possibility wrong.
And it still remains a possibility as long as you keep up the insulting spew of bullshit and insult.
Like I said before, you behave like the kid who lost a game and wants to blame the other kids for his loss instead of just admitting that he lost at the game.

Simple attention to details (Perhaps not so simple for you). Any trained observer can do it. And you make it even easier for me, and anyone that pays attention, to do.

As Sherlock Holmes would have said, "Once you eliminate all reasonable possibilities, then what is left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth".

I noticed that, on your profile, your wife is not even included on it with you. If your wife is in this with you, as a couple, then why not include her on your profile?

I am absolutely certain that there are plenty of legitimate reasons (as opposed to excuses) for that. Plenty of folks here have them, but in your case, are they going to be true? we have only your word for that and the fact that you lied to your spouse, the person most trustworthy of all, shows that you are as likely to lie to everyone else, since you have lied to the person most trustworthy in your life.

You have lied to her before, so why not now, to the us,here? What is stopping you? Certainly not your moral compass.

Bad habits are very difficult to break, aren't they?

Other's realized that I came clean to my wife, why couldn't you?

You must have missed the part where I didn't need to "come clean" to my wife (more than a couple of posts ago), since I told her all about it when we were dating and she was, at that time, my girlfriend.

See, I caught you in another lie; a piss poor and easily disproven lie, at that.

I will tell you what I tell Creationists: "Facts do not change simply because they are inconvenient or contradictory to your beliefs."

Didn't you notice that picture and profile data, which included her basic info, on our profile, whiches gives you any indication that she is informed and included in what I do?

You miss too much and ignore everything that could possibly prove you wrong.

Like I said once before. If you want to argue with me, then have your facts straight and correct.
You fail miserably in that area. And it has been repeatedly proven.

I have threads all over this board on my comming out process in detail. No secrets at all. The guilt from my affair is what prompted me to come out to her and luckily we over came it. It made me a much better person.

Good for you. Many of us do. Mostly in response to others who are new to being Bi and need advice about coming out. One, mabe more, of those threads even has my story about coming out to my wife.
But while it may have made you a better person, the fact that, even after that, you still endorse cheating as the primary option, you have a long way to go to be a much better person.

The real point is that you lied to her in the first place, so what about you should tell us that you are not lying now?
Your word?
Your word lost it's value when you lied in the first place.
Admitting that you lied is a good start, but the fact that you omit things that you think will put you in a bad light is still a lie of omission. And a lie of omission is also a lie.

If you want to be a much better person, then stop lying to yourself.

I have no secrets; either from my wife or my friends and social groups. I don't advertise it, but when asked, I answer honestly. My ex-wife even knows, and knew before we married as well.

I never needed guilt to come out to my wife, since I had the integrity to not lie and the trust in my relationship's strength to be honest in the first place.
My son, on the other hand does not know because, quite frankly, it is not his business to know and he has never asked.

If you were smart enough to put two and two together, you'd have figured out that.

Sorry, but I am far smarter than you (the reason that I argue with known data and not insults) and I pay attention to details, something that you do not do and have been called on in your arguments.

Maybe that's why I don't condemn and judge others, because I've been there and understand where they're comming from.

Yes, the "let he who is without sin" defense. It is human nature to, as you put it, "condemn and judge" others. it is just a cop out, to avoid admitting your own faults.

But wait.....you have condemned and judged me. Many times over and usually to avoid addressing issues that I have brought up.
Here's the latest one (From this same post that I am responding to, even):

"If you were smart enough to put two and two together, you'd have figured out that."

Sorry, but hypocrisy does not help your stance and that statement is a judgment, and, to be honest, making your statement that you don't judge (after than quote from you) is a lie as well.
Perhaps you just don't know what a judgment or condemnation is?

Falcon, you have no power over me or anyone else on this board. You don't even have power over your own sensibilities.

I repeat. I think you're broken. No need to pm that.

More proof that you are wrong.

First of all, I really don't want power over anybody on this board, but you rose to defend a position that had no moral high ground at all and I rose to defend doing right over wrong. you lost before the battle was engaged and I easily moved the battlefield to ground of my choosing, knowing that you would follow.

That gave me power over you. If you were really honest, then this would not still be going on, here.

If you were really honest, then you would have admitted that you were defending what you knew to be wrong and this would be all behind us.

INSTEAD, you chose to continue to defend a position that was both amoral and unwinnable, on the grounds of amorality.

If you knew anything about predatory sentient species (of which man is only one, and the only one with technology), you would have known better than to do that and that is what gave me the power. I don't enjoin a fight that I cannot win.
But you chose to fight a fight that you knew, in your heart, that was a losing fight. Quite a foolish thing to do. Deep down, even your "friends" know that cheating is wrong, but they stood by you only because they don't like me.
So your friends can do nothing but support you and your same lies because, quite frankly, they can't add anything of value to use to defend the immorality of your position.

Even LDD, has to admit that cheating is wrong, and if he doesn't then perhaps Twyla (unless she has some form of arrangement with him) should consider a different boyfriend.

LDD, I know that you believe that cheating is wrong. Remember what I said earlier about the enemy of your enemy?

I had the power, since you and your ego gave it to me, since you supported an argument that cannot be one on the basis of right and wrong and you knew it.
You gave me the power to irritate you, because deep down, you knew that you were wrong but cannot control your ego's drive to win at all costs; to the point that you feel that you need to win, no matter how insulting, nonsensical, amoral or dishonest your arguments get.

Just like your claims that you are right and I am wrong.

I had the power to remain calm in the face of insults when opposing arguments or conceding the point would have served you infinitely better (your "friends" should have warned you about that mistake, since they did the same thing with me, in one case, over and over again until the only responses were insults and irrationality).

You have, thus far, demonstrated that you;

have little to no moral compass,

that you back-peddle when you start to lose an argument,

that you do not pay attention to what you are responding,

that you do not know the definitions of some of the simplest and most basic words used in regards to this subject,

that you cannot admit that you are wrong when you know it,

that you choose your allies poorly (as do they).

If you believe that you have the power to end this, then stop responding, stop with the snide and ignorant remarks about me, because every time that you say something stupid about cheating, I will shut the point down with facts, again.

You desperately need the attention of thinking that you are a "big man". You are not. the fact that you fight what you know is a losing battle proves that. There comes a point in every battle where the only choices are surrender or withdraw. That point was passed, by you, quite a while ago.

You seem to be under the impression that this is personal for me.

It honestly is not. My issues with my ex have long since been over. if it hadn't, then I could not have the relationship with my wife, that I have had since before we were married.
But I will defend right over wrong. It is personal for you, but you cannot be the bigger man until you stop defending the moral low ground; something that you appear to not yet be willing to do.

As they say in all of the mafia films, "nothing personal. It's just business".

You have been defending what you know to be wrong; namely cheating. Concede, honestly and sincerely, that you are wrong for defending it and this can all end.

So man up and do what is right. Only that will give you your power back.

No need to pm that, either. It is spread through this thread for all to see.

[Long Duck Dong]

Even LDD, has to admit that cheating is wrong, and if he doesn't then perhaps Twyla (unless she has some form of arrangement with him) should consider a different boyfriend.

LDD, I know that you believe that cheating is wrong. Remember what I said earlier about the enemy of your enemy?

I do not have to admit anything.... I am free to speak or say nothing as I see fit...... twyla has the freedom to come and go as she sees fit......

my partner can satisfy my needs and desires and that gives her a edge over people like you that can not be satisfied by your wife.... as twyla knows that i will not stray from her bed......

thats a gift, a blessing and tells the world just how special twyla is and how much of a woman she is as a person...... the fact that twyla has chosen me to stand beside her, is a blessing far beyond anything I could wish for.....

so falcon, go and wander the bed of mortal men as you seek satisfaction at the hands of others..... I am blessed far beyond your wildest dreams

may you burn elder wood to warm your hearth

[tenni]

"First of all, I really don't want power over anybody on this board, but you rose to defend a position that had no moral high ground at all and I rose to defend doing right over wrong. you lost before the battle was engaged and I easily moved the battlefield to ground of my choosing, knowing that you would follow.

That gave me power over you. If you were really honest, then this would not still be going on, here."

What? I don't think that you realize what your words indicate about you.

[rissababynta]

may you burn elder wood to warm your hearth

Ok I gotta admit that I did LOL at this.

Ok so you know how when Tom Cruise started getting weird...and we all started wondering what was going on with him...then after his appearance on Oprah we finally said to ourselves "yeah...I think he may have just cracked."

Well I hate to say it but I think that Falcon is like Tom and this thread is like Oprah's couch...

[tenni]

Discreet-a human being who knows how to use the word appropriately as opposed to "discrete". They also know not to suck cock at mid day at the intersection of the two main streets of their community


Cheat v. -to sexually go outside of a relationship (regardless of numbers in the relationship) for sexual release due to being a person who is sexually dissatisfied with their relationship. The other person(s) do not know about their actions. They find the delemna impossible to resolve other than this act for a wide variety of reasons because they need sexual release, affection, etc. that is unobtainable from the other person. They do not wish to leave their relationship for a wide variety of reasons. Making a moral judgement about their actions has nothing to do with the meaning. That happens in room 402 between 12:00 and 12:01. Sorry, but I'm too discreet to tell you whether it is am or pm. If you are able to find which building and which community, we will give you the judge gavel and a black garment to judge and declare the morality of the case.....(not a dress but a pretty black robe that hides your figure quite well

Discreet adj

Discreet is an adjective connected with the virtues of prudence, circumspection, modesty, and self-restraint. Here are two examples:

The heiress was anything but a show-off, dressing in a discreet manner and making no ostentatious purchases.

Enrico felt justified in confiding in Dr. Wiggins, who was celebrated not only for her insights into people’s lives and problems, but also for being entirely discreet.

Discreet came into English through Old French. Its roots are in the Latin past participle of the word discernere, meaning “to discern” or “to separate.” Discreet covers a variety of meanings related to the “discern” element of the Latin word’s meaning. It is pronounced /dih SKREET/.

Discrete adj

Discrete is an adjective that is used to designate the separateness of something from other things or to identify a particular whole as having distinct, separate-or non-continuous- parts. It also has a particular mathematical meaning in describing a set of values. An example of the standard use is:

The driving exam has several discrete, non-overlapping sections, all of which must be passed in order for you to be awarded a license, Mr. Mantigua.

Like discreet, discrete came into English through Old French and has its origins in the past participle of the Latin discernere, meaning both “to separate” and “to discern.” Discrete covers a variety of meanings related to the “separate” element of the Latin word’s meaning.

You can see now that each of the words in the pair discreet/discrete develops one of the two main meanings of the Latin root from which they both come. The branching of this one Latin word into two English words clarifies why they are so very similar and difficult to distinguish.

Distinguishing Discreet and Discrete

One way to recall the difference between discrete and discreet is to use this mnemonic:

Discrete is about separating into distinct parts: notice how the two e’s are separated. Discreet, on the other hand, is about keeping information contained and under wraps: notice how the e’s are closed up within the boundaries of the word. Keeping this in mind may help you remember which of these words is which.

disclaimer 1: Some of us who have been cheated on, do not think like Falcon.

disclaimer 2: All of the meanings above have been "tongue in cheek" couched in terms of a relationship between two, three or more human beings whether they are narrow minded, rigid thinking, sexually bigotted,hypocritcal people who lack tolerance or not. This includes men who like to dress in "celtic costumes ( a manly form of a woman's skirt..not cross dressing at all. So don't say that it is " etc., practice some form of witchcraft regardless of what term that they use, suck cock and like to bring another person into their relationship only if their spouse agrees. They rationalize that they are moral and others are not.

[fredtyg]

For those who are cool with cheating and are defending cheating would you be fine with your wife, husband, or s.o. who you are in a monogamous relationship with cheating on you?

I don't think I'd mind. The only problem is, she's pretty religious and thinks sex should only be between two people so, if she did decide to fool around, it would be because she wanted to leave me. I've never thought of leaving her, whether it be for a guy or girl so that would seem unfair to me.

[TwylaTwobits]

For those who are cool with cheating and are defending cheating would you be fine with your wife, husband, or s.o. who you are in a monogamous relationship with cheating on you?

Now there's the key, are they in a monogamous relationship. That makes the difference in the perceptions. By virtue of a monogamous relationship you are with ONE partner. Those that choose to have an open relationship and communicate with their partner, in my opinion are not cheating. But the ones who have to hide from their partner and sneak around to fulfill whatever needs, not just physical but emotional are cheating.

The same way that there are different levels of cheating. And sometimes the emotional betrayal is much worse and cuts so much deeper than any physical act.

Once the trust is gone in a relationship, it takes a lot of time and open communication to build it back up. I applaud Mikey for realizing what he was doing and communicating clearly to his wife. She had the choice to leave the marriage or just turn a blind eye. She did the unexpected, she not only understood but she actually interacts with his male partner as a friend.

I understand open relationships, they are just not for me. But the very word "open" means by that you are open to your partner about what you need to be complete. They have the choice to stay or go.

So good question, it's been asked often on here of the people who go outside relationships for sex.

[tenni]

For those who are cool with cheating and are defending cheating would you be fine with your wife, husband, or s.o. who you are in a monogamous relationship with cheating on you?

Cool with cheating?
defending cheating?

The two above statements are your interpretation of what is being posted. I'm not sure as I skip over some of the comments from the narrow minded primary relationship thinkers but I don't know if anyone has actually used that language? I may be wrong.

Some of us are capable of not being so closed minded as to see the greys that some narrow minded primary relationship thinkers who function at lower levels of moral development are not able to understand or accept.

Cool may be more positively replaced with "compassion"
Defending may be more positively replaced with "comprehending"

I do agree that being cheated on does hurt a lot. I don't believe that one side only is responsible though. It wasn't in my situation. I ignored the facts and only really saw them after the cheating. I chose to ignore the facts because I thought that I was different and special...pfft..lol

[Long Duck Dong]

here is a curve ball that I was thinking about last night

we can base cheating around doing what your partner doesn't know about ....so.... if you are in a relationship where you have permission to take other lovers... but with the criteria that there is a DADT policy over your activities.... then if you are not telling your partner who you are sleeping with..... is it in fact cheating.....

in my eyes it actually causes conflict with a lot of the anti cheating arguments as the definition of cheating is a person sleeping with other people that their partner doesn't know about....
and in this case, while there is permission, the partner STILL doesn't know who you are sleeping with, or if you are sleeping with other people

[myglendon]

hi wnna join!

[FalconAngel]

me three but then Falcon oh so publicly declared he was putting Duckie on ignore so why would he be saying anything about posts he can't see?

Because duck will pick the side that is against me, figuring that the enemy of his enemy is actually his friend.
The US is still learning that lesson with Israel.

[FalconAngel]

Now there's the key, are they in a monogamous relationship. That makes the difference in the perceptions. By virtue of a monogamous relationship you are with ONE partner. Those that choose to have an open relationship and communicate with their partner, in my opinion are not cheating. But the ones who have to hide from their partner and sneak around to fulfill whatever needs, not just physical but emotional are cheating.

The same way that there are different levels of cheating. And sometimes the emotional betrayal is much worse and cuts so much deeper than any physical act.

Once the trust is gone in a relationship, it takes a lot of time and open communication to build it back up. I applaud Mikey for realizing what he was doing and communicating clearly to his wife. She had the choice to leave the marriage or just turn a blind eye. She did the unexpected, she not only understood but she actually interacts with his male partner as a friend.

I understand open relationships, they are just not for me. But the very word "open" means by that you are open to your partner about what you need to be complete. They have the choice to stay or go.

So good question, it's been asked often on here of the people who go outside relationships for sex.

Exactly. Cheaters only consider themselves and put their wants above their partner. That is not a relationship, it is possession, which I said before.

They rarely, if ever consider what the consequences are to their partner and relationship.

They don't stop to think about how they would like it done to them. Which is why I have pointed out that reminding those who ask for advice to suggest that they cheat, Needs to include the warning about the consequences for when, not if, one gets caught.

Not pointing all of those negatives out is just plain irresponsible.

[TwylaTwobits]

And yet, Falcon, in your misguided attempt to go after Duck you made very irresponsible remarks about his relationship with me. I don't appreciate it and yeah this is picking a fight. You want to fight with me, bring it on. I have not a damned thing to lose, and apparently neither do you, since you have lost the respect of most everyone here at this point. You publicly flame people, call them liars and hide behind what you don't even believe in yourself. But I will warn you, be careful when you play with fire, cause I AM what you pretend to be. I walk with my Goddess, do you?

[Long Duck Dong]

Because duck will pick the side that is against me, figuring that the enemy of his enemy is actually his friend.
The US is still learning that lesson with Israel.

I have a general anti cheating stance, tho I make allowances as cheating is not all black and white......

you have a anti cheating stance stance that requires everything to be black and white......

the side that separates us,.... is I do not need to use personal attacks such as your remarks about mikey...... remarks that are uncalled for, and actually incorrect....... mikey is out to his wife and have been for a while.... he was not refering to you and your wife.....

you failed to realise that and continued to launch a personal attack on mikey and his morals and ethics in your vain attempt to support your own misguided desire to play the higher moral ground and portray yourself as a upstanding member of society....

honestly... a good number of the forum, have the opinion that the only way you could be upstanding.... is with viagra

there is a old saying....

tis a foolish man that walks the high ground, for while they believe they look down on others, in truth their heads are in the clouds.....

[mikey3000]

If you believe that you have the power to end this, then stop responding, stop with the snide and ignorant remarks about me, because every time that you say something stupid about cheating, I will shut the point down with facts, again.

I'm still waiting to see ANY facts from you dude. So I'll give you the power to go look some up.

[tenni]

hot_for_summertime
"I'm out and not interested in closeted or DL men who are going to cheat on their GF or wife and expect me to be their secret on the side. "

I think that the above statement in your profile explains your position. Such statements in a profile suggest a story about what has happened to you in your past to bring you to this position.

We may want to agree to disagree. I do not believe that I used the words "cool" or "defending" in connnection with cheating. You see me as defending cheating and yet I have not said that I defend it. I'm not for cheating but I am able to understand that it does happen. I make no judgements as to who is to blame when it does. I agree that when someone does something in a relationship that the other person may not be happy with that. There are a lot of emotions that may follow whether it is cheating or other deeds. I have been cheated on in a relationship and suspect that you have as well?

My morals are jaded in your perspective. Ok. We have different morals. If you suck cock, others will condemn you and your morals as well. They will state that you have no values or morals...and worse.

Now, about your strong desire to be out. Are you out enough to suck cock on the two major intersections of your community..say at noon?

I meant what I asked. Don't add stuff in that I did not write and pretend to yourself that I wrote what you wanted to read or try to twist my writing around to suit your own argument and agenda for lying and cheating.

I've read this thread and the only person who seems to be defending cheating or making up excuses for cheating is you Tenni.

If you want to cheat on a partner go right ahead and do it. Just be honest and tell your partner first that you're going to cheat on them since it's only fair since you're jaded, have no morals, and do not communicate well with partners to break up with them first if you want to fuck someone else.

I have no sympathy or compassion for people who cheat. Is it really that hard to understand? Most people even if they are in open relationships like Falcon is would not be OK with a partner lying and cheating on them or with lying and cheating to their partner.

This has nothing to do with being close minded or being in your words a "narrow minded primary relationship thinker who function at lower levels of moral development". Since you are so blindly for cheating and lying you yourself are a narrow minded thinker who functions at lower levels of moral development since you have no values or morals.

Even if I were in an open relationship and whoever I was with cheated or did something we did not agree upon I still would not be happy or feel like they somehow had a right or an excuse to do this.

Sometimes the reasons for cheating are one sided such as the person being greedy or not being able to communicate with their partner and end the relationship since they no longer want to be faithful like both people have agreed upon.

[crazy_cat_lady]

Go ahead and cheat, then. But give your spouse the courtesy of telling them so they can make an informed decision. It is the right thing to do.

I will never say that sex out of the marriage bed is a bad thing. I will say, however, that sex out of the marriage bed without allowing your spouse the opportunity to decide if they can live with you cheating or not is where the actual betrayal is.

If my spouse had ED, I'd tell them that I was going to go elsewhere to meet my physical intimacy needs. If they wish to stay with me, fantastic. If they want to divorce me, that's their choice. But at least they have the choice.

Pasa

And I agree pasa. I wasnt saying to cheat and not tell them and give them a choice in the matter. what I was trying to do was make Falcon look at the potential cheaters point of view and what he'd do in that situation, because according to him either stay in a sexless intamacy starved marrage or devorce them on the spot. no choice for the spouce either way. because honesty forms trust which is another foundation of love.

[FalconAngel]

I'm still waiting to see ANY facts from you dude. So I'll give you the power to go look some up.

Why do you insist on being a horses ass?

The facts are there and you must have some experience with that, even though you are lying about them.

Someone smart would have learned by now, but I guess that isn't you.

I would call you a tool, but I respect tools more than you.

And at least I have a moral compass to help guide my actions. You, on the other hand, talk like you have the same moral compass of a lawyer (moral compass surgically removed).

No offense to the Lawyers out there that were smart enough to hang on to their moral compasses.

[FalconAngel]

And yet, Falcon, in your misguided attempt to go after Duck you made very irresponsible remarks about his relationship with me. I don't appreciate it and yeah this is picking a fight. You want to fight with me, bring it on. I have not a damned thing to lose, and apparently neither do you, since you have lost the respect of most everyone here at this point. You publicly flame people, call them liars and hide behind what you don't even believe in yourself. But I will warn you, be careful when you play with fire, cause I AM what you pretend to be. I walk with my Goddess, do you?

Sorry, but you have been telling everyone that you are LDD's girlfriend.

Is that an inaccurate statement?
I mean, you have said it more than once and even made specific mention of it for a thread that you started on that very subject.

Whatever agreement that you two have is not anyone's business, but if you both know that the other has approval to mess around behind your back on their own, then that is not the same as cheating, since, in that case, you are both aware of and approve.

Cheating is sneaking around and violating one's relationship agreement (or marriage vows).

[TwylaTwobits]

Sorry, but you have been telling everyone that you are LDD's girlfriend.

Is that an inaccurate statement?
I mean, you have said it more than once and even made specific mention of it for a thread that you started on that subject.

Whatever agreement that you two have is not anyone's business, but if you both know that the other has approval to mess around behind your back on their own, then that is not the same as cheating, since, in that case, you are both aware of and approve.

Cheating is sneaking around and violating one's relationship agreement (or marriage vows).

I am not his girlfriend, I'm his partner. Lifemate whatever you want to call it. And he will not cheat on me, he is as anti cheating as I am. You attempted to say he was wrong because he actually sees there are specific times IE LittleRayofSunshine's aunt that had the mental capacity of a child that could not consent to sex let alone understand that her husband was going elsewhere. So again you try to say that LDD is pro cheating, he's not. As he has posted AGAIN AND AGAIN with the same message. What about the cheated on? He got flamed then and he probably will again. But you need to stop with your personal attacks because they are in complete violation of this board's policies.

[Long Duck Dong]

Sorry, but you have been telling everyone that you are LDD's girlfriend.

Is that an inaccurate statement?
I mean, you have said it more than once and even made specific mention of it for a thread that you started on that very subject.

Whatever agreement that you two have is not anyone's business, but if you both know that the other has approval to mess around behind your back on their own, then that is not the same as cheating, since, in that case, you are both aware of and approve.

Cheating is sneaking around and violating one's relationship agreement (or marriage vows).

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you, the following .....

in this very thread, I have stated, that I am anti cheating but pro understanding of the nature of cheating and why it can happen
apparently a side opposite to falcons own stance of anti cheating....

in this very thread, we have witnessed falcon address others to speak to him directly.... while falcon has me on ignore and fails to see my stance as posted in this thread

in this very thread, my fellow posters, I have clearly stated that my partner, twyla twobits is well capable of satisfying me and that is why I endeavour to remain monogamous, while falcon has clearly admitted that his own partner fails to satisfy him, so he needs to seek satisfaction with others....

in this very thread, we bear witness to falcon calling others by degrading names and inflammatory labels, while portraying himself as a moral gentleman....

so my fellow posters, I put the following to you

that falcon indeed, seeks to justify his own wandering from the marital art, by way of personal remarks about the lifestyle of others and the fact that it would may well be a case, of falcon is unable to accept that twlya is able to do what he can not, satisfy their partner
falcon has protrayed himself as a man that embraces the truth and faces any battle directly, while making statements about and regarding me, that are clearly incorrect.... incorrect because falcon has me on ignore so is unable to know my actual stance and therefore is showing that falcon is ignorant of the truth by his own hand......

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I direct you to pictures on falcon on his profile, dressed in a kilt which many people may feel is a substitute for a desire to wear feminine natured clothing as kilts do take on the same form as a dress

in closing, I feel that this case of the thread and posts is best summed up with a single sentence

" falcon has proven that he is the exact opposite of what he claims to do and say, and to be... and in conclusion, we can only assume that falcon is not a male at all, but in fact a woman in drag with a beard "

I thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury and await your decision as to the charges against falcon

[FalconAngel]

I am not his girlfriend, I'm his partner. Lifemate whatever you want to call it. And he will not cheat on me, he is as anti cheating as I am.

Well, then I was right.

I never specifically said that he was pro cheating, but I did posit the possibility as one of 2 options as to why he sided with Mikey, who is almost militantly pro-cheating.

The other option, then (the one that I had hoped for), is that he is under the impression that the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He is wrong about that, of course, and will soon discover that to be true.

He opposes cheating, just as I had believed, so he's siding with Mikey just to oppose me, without regard to my, or his, personal stance, on this subject.

Like I said, the enemy of his enemy is not his friend. And you need to read, a bit more thoroughly, what I say before responding to it.

like I said in the post that you responded to, I asked if that was the reason or was it just to oppose me.

You attempted to say he was wrong because he actually sees there are specific times IE LittleRayofSunshine's aunt that had the mental capacity of a child that could not consent to sex let alone understand that her husband was going elsewhere.

Now that needs deeper examination, doesn't it. Was this due to an accident after marriage or was that specific mental state in existence before marriage.

If it was before, then why marry her at all or get involved? If after, then were all other, more honest, options explored?

You, as a fellow Pagan should know that everyone is responsible for their own words and actions; for good or ill. We are responsible to examine every possibility and, as long as we are good people, we should be choosing to make the least harmful (to ourselves and/or others around us) actions to take.

Don't you agree with that?

So again you try to say that LDD is pro cheating, he's not. As he has posted AGAIN AND AGAIN with the same message. What about the cheated on? He got flamed then and he probably will again. But you need to stop with your personal attacks because they are in complete violation of this board's policies.

Like I said before. I didn't say that he was I said that it was one of 2 reasonable choices as to why he sided with Mikey. See, I have him figured out, and, to a degree, you as well. He will hold onto a grudge as long as possible, perhaps even long enough that it eats him alive.
And you will side with him, whether he is right or wrong, particularly when he is wrong.
In your case, it is an admirable trait, but you should be sure that he is right more than wrong. Because he is an adult and should be able to win at least one argument and be able to prove at least one point on his own.

If you pick a side, simply to get the upper hand in an argument that you know to be wrong, it will not make you right and you will lose.

Perhaps he should read a little bit of "the art of war".
Mikey chose to fight a battle against common decency and when he started to lose, then LDD joining him did not help his position, because LDD does not believe in it.

To win a war, you must believe in the cause. Mikey is just being arbitrary, since he has claimed that he no longer behaves in accordance with the cause he is fighting for. He no longer believes in the cause (cheating).

I, on the other hand, firmly believe in my cause (integrity in one's relationship).

I cold show examples from both world and American history to prove my point, but they would just fall on deaf ears.

[TwylaTwobits]

Well, then I was right.

I never specifically said that he was pro cheating, but I did posit the possibility as one of 2 options as to why he sided with Mikey, who is almost militantly pro-cheating.

The other option, then (the one that I had hoped for), is that he is under the impression that the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He is wrong about that, of course, and will soon discover that to be true.

He opposes cheating, just as I had believed, so he's siding with Mikey just to oppose me, without regard to my, or his, personal stance, on this subject.

Like I said, the enemy of his enemy is not his friend. And you need to read, a bit more thoroughly, what I say before responding to it.

like I said in the post that you responded to, I asked if that was the reason or was it just to oppose me.



Now that needs deeper examination, doesn't it. Was this due to an accident after marriage or was that specific mental state in existence before marriage.

If it was before, then why marry her at all or get involved? If after, then were all other, more honest, options explored?

You, as a fellow Pagan should know that everyone is responsible for their own words and actions; for good or ill. We are responsible to examine every possibility and, as long as we are good people, we should be choosing to make the least harmful (to ourselves and/or others around us) actions to take.

Don't you agree with that?




Like I said before. I didn't say that he was I said that it was one of 2 reasonable choices as to why he sided with Mikey. See, I have him figured out, and, to a degree, you as well. He will hold onto a grudge as long as possible, perhaps even long enough that it eats him alive.
And you will side with him, whether he is right or wrong, particularly when he is wrong.
In your case, it is an admirable trait, but you should be sure that he is right more than wrong. Because he is an adult and should be able to win at least one argument and be able to prove at least one point on his own.

If you pick a side, simply to get the upper hand in an argument that you know to be wrong, it will not make you right and you will lose.

Perhaps he should read a little bit of "the art of war".
Mikey chose to fight a battle against common decency and when he started to lose, then LDD joining him did not help his position, because LDD does not believe in it.

To win a war, you must believe in the cause. Mikey is just being arbitrary, since he has claimed that he no longer behaves in accordance with the cause he is fighting for. He no longer believes in the cause (cheating).

I, on the other hand, firmly believe in my cause (integrity in one's relationship).

I cold show examples from both world and American history to prove my point, but they would just fall on deaf ears.

You just proved you didn't read LittleRayofSunshine's post at all didn't you. Your "needs to be looked at deeper" is answered there. There are shades of grey where cheating is understandable but no one has ever said it's RIGHT. There is a huge difference. No one is siding with anyone because they like or dislike anyone. This is an issue that has probably touched every person on this site given by the number of responses to the many, many cheating threads on this board. Learn to read the shadows, Falcon, just because old ways are old doesn't make them wise.

[mikey3000]

Again, Falcon. you have no power over anyone here. You don't like when people can think for themselves, thus you must attack them from every angle. That is a sign of poor character. You randomly attack everyone's intelect and skill to elevate YOUR self. That is what is so pathetic about you, you have a superiority complex. Mystery solved. I don't need to amass the troops for battle with you at all. All I have to do is give you a platform. You do the damage all yourself.

[TaylorMade]

Ok I gotta admit that I did LOL at this.

Ok so you know how when Tom Cruise started getting weird...and we all started wondering what was going on with him...then after his appearance on Oprah we finally said to ourselves "yeah...I think he may have just cracked."

Well I hate to say it but I think that Falcon is like Tom and this thread is like Oprah's couch...

Dammit, you know you gotta ring me on the white courtesy phone if there's gonna be a Miss Cruise allusion to be made. :p

*Taylor*

[crazy_cat_lady]

Ok I gotta admit that I did LOL at this.

Ok so you know how when Tom Cruise started getting weird...and we all started wondering what was going on with him...then after his appearance on Oprah we finally said to ourselves "yeah...I think he may have just cracked."

Well I hate to say it but I think that Falcon is like Tom and this thread is like Oprah's couch...

lmao! I absolutly agree. I know I get steamed when I get into a debate and sometimes get nasty whern defending a point but then I cool off and apologize like I did with LDD. Falcon however will never do that because he's nuts and he is close minded and a all or nothing, black and white area. BTW was Falcon really banned? if so then this wont matter much but heres the facts falcon loves so much from either side.

Fact 1: cheating as defined as hiding or lying to your S.O. about having sex out of your relationship is wrong, and causes harm to a relationship.

Fact 2: there are some exceptions and/or justifiable reasons for cheating involving one or both people involved. This DOES NOT mean harm is still not casued to the relationship because of such actions. justified as it might be it still causes pain and/or stress for the relationship and really shouldn't be done. Unless of course if you had extinuating cercumstances like your S.O. not having the ability of concenting, as previously discussed.

Fact 3: People have many definitions of cheating. Most people in a monogumous relationship consider cheating having sex outside of the relationship or seeking satifaction with another person other than said S.O.

Others however in varius degrees of openness consider cheating just lying about seeing someone else or hiding the fact. In other words its the deception not the act that is the betrayal.

Still others consider becoming emotionally attached to someone other than thier S.O. is cheating. Meaning the arrangment was purely meaningless sex out of the relationship, emotion/love/attachment inside the relationship.

Fact 4: no mater which form of cheating one does the best solution to rectify it is telling your S.O. about it and letting them have the choice to deside what to do next. as hard of a thing to do as that seems it is the only true Fair one.

there are the facts that I have gathered from this thread use them as you wish and Falcon can kiss my fact gathering ASS since he only seems to pick the ones that suite him. well guess what? facts are impartial.

Facts are like Pokemon cards...some are so complicated that all you can do is collect them.

and if I missed some please tell me.

[mikey3000]

lmao! I absolutly agree. I know I get steamed when I get into a debate and sometimes get nasty whern defending a point but then I cool off and apologize like I did with LDD. Falcon however will never do that because he's nuts and he is close minded and a all or nothing, black and white area. BTW was Falcon really banned? if so then this wont matter much but heres the facts falcon loves so much from either side.

Fact 1: cheating as defined as hiding or lying to your S.O. about having sex out of your relationship is wrong, and causes harm to a relationship.

Fact 2: there are some exceptions and/or justifiable reasons for cheating involving one or both people involved. This DOES NOT mean harm is still not casued to the relationship because of such actions. justified as it might be it still causes pain and/or stress for the relationship and really shouldn't be done. Unless of course if you had extinuating cercumstances like your S.O. not having the ability of concenting, as previously discussed.

Fact 3: People have many definitions of cheating. Most people in a monogumous relationship consider cheating having sex outside of the relationship or seeking satifaction with another person other than said S.O.

Others however in varius degrees of openness consider cheating just lying about seeing someone else or hiding the fact. In other words its the deception not the act that is the betrayal.

Still others consider becoming emotionally attached to someone other than thier S.O. is cheating. Meaning the arrangment was purely meaningless sex out of the relationship, emotion/love/attachment inside the relationship.

Fact 4: no mater which form of cheating one does the best solution to rectify it is telling your S.O. about it and letting them have the choice to deside what to do next. as hard of a thing to do as that seems it is the only true Fair one.

there are the facts that I have gathered from this thread use them as you wish and Falcon can kiss my fact gathering ASS since he only seems to pick the ones that suite him. well guess what? facts are impartial.

Facts are like Pokemon cards...some are so complicated that all you can do is collect them.

and if I missed some please tell me.

Very well stated. Covered all the bases.

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah I agree, it about covers it..... and lays it out that cheating is a lot of grey areas, not black and white

[crazy_cat_lady]

YAY! I did good! so tell me is falcon banned or not? it says it under his name...does that mean he is?