Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
Aye she's a Duffy Moon inae she? t'would be sumpin guid to has go on but fear it'd go on, and on ... on ... *grins* De Duffy Moon she nae figure out she wear the chillins to sleep. arf makes me ache thinking on it. then i ponder sumpin else and boyo does it deedy so ache. yer, dire need a fuckathon stead o' waiting e'ry two or four year. snafu, snafu but getting better gradual.
*deep blush from Fran and void resolves, composure regained* Ok, look. I am not *so* very dim that I need a full translation of every line (though I can see where you might get that notion *wink*). I gots the gist, m'dear. My question was about Duffy Moon. Who or what are we talking about? Whence commeth the Duffy Moon reference?
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
U dont know Duffy Moon? Me either really until I finally got fed up wiv me big sister and bruvva getting at me for holding me breath and blowing out me cheeks wen in a childhood seethe (moi? neva!) and I got told... He was a lickle boy in an American kids telly show film in the 1970s who did same wen making gr8 efforts and peeps wer ridiculing him... grew up wiv the saying and use it on occasion mesel now.. am not tho ridiculing ya.. just wee bit of encouragement.. I suffered the ridicule..
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
* slides one o'r fer the sailor boy * Ha! Serves ye right on so, ye make the sailor boy blush. 'e jist get ye back. Aye, t'was ye put notions o' fancy in me jots. Been in bits mytherin bout not to thrap and spluge all o'r. An ye sez ye an artist ... pish posh ... art but wot bind de todger up so not really art, ruddy torture. bah!
I take it all back Annika... u will understand wy in a min or so...http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tCT9IflJdM4
Trust me.. my sister and bruvva r in deep poop... is much worse than I thought... I was nev remotely like the lickle pillock..
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
ACK Gads! * Rushes off yelling and screaming in bits and fits, flails arms madly about and begins chanting, "Amuck, Amuck, Amuck ... " bounces off walls still chanting and rushing about madly *
* finally sits naked in the center of the floor spinning on his butt and crying, chanting "Please oh please revered Carlin, let me un-see it!" continues sobbing an wailing prayer to revered Carlin *
Last edited by void(); Oct 9, 2015 at 2:09 PM.
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
May as well I think at times. Two different folks simultaneously pointing to flaws in my communication skills, and I think I communicate well enough. Yeah, may as well hang. If I cannot communicate, not much else I'm fit to do.
Cannot even take on a job as a cook at a greasy spoon. Not able to go out for the ditch digging crews, or manure shoveling. May as well hang. I'm either obsolete or unfit, either way I'm just fucked.
"Do what you love", I'm told. Love my wife. Beyond loving her and a general loving people I do not have much else I love. So what am I to to actually do?
"You'll find it on your own, we cannot help you. But we found it and are so happy", I hear. That ever elusive it is a fucking joke. Those finding the it are full of shit. If they had found an it, they could tell a person what to look for. They cannot. Besides that happiness is an ever fleeting target one cannot bottle, contain, control, continually have.
Me knowing this is not exactly helpful. It makes being hopeful near laughable if it were not so desolately depressing. so yeah, hanging some times seems a good call, not much else left really. Dislike feeling this way but really don't know how else to feel when the world is shit.
Trying to re-frame everything but not able to and not sure even that would help. "Oh look, put on the rose colored spectacles, you'll see it all so fabulously." I don't know anymore. Just tired of being tired, sick of being sick. But oh joy, no real help even from 'professionals'. All they can do is let me self diagnose, prognosis, step aside and be there with life lines if they're needed.
No, not suicidal. May sound it but not. Sure I feel shitty. Feel like everything points in that direction. But not there. I'm frustrated and mostly at myself for feeling this way. See? Can't even let myself feel bad. Fuck me running. *shakes noggin and goes silent*
void I only skimmed your last two comments and barely know you, but it sounds like you enjoy the chase of the happy more than finding the happy. for me my happy is cooking, nothing makes me happier (outside of sex) than being in a kitchen feeding people and being the cause of their joyful experience. Seems like you need to ignore everyone and find your personal happy space, and you also need to remember happiness isn't a destination where you can finally say "I'm here." Its a constant fight for the best experience. Maybe conventional stuff isn't for you, maybe something weird and out of the box is it for you...Maybe (just shooting in the dark), dancing or bartender or server or teacher or something is right for you, something that by the nature of the job is a struggle in itself. You said greasy spoon isn't it but that's a greasy spoon, maybe a proper restaurant where you are happy to brag about is the place. Maybe your happy is something "different" like being a concierge that way you can show your love for people by being the catalyst that starts their night off right. Maybe your happy is still loving others, and maybe you need to try something like child services or some job like that where you help people.
You are not alone, many many many people work to survive and hate their life, many people have jobs they hate, many people aren't happy until they are miles away from work and home with loved ones. We all are reasons for someone else to wake up every morning, we all are beyond valuable in this world, and its the powers at bes goal to make us forget this. Keep your chin up more people want to see you happy than you can imagine.
Void, as a fellow writer I'm keenly aware of how profoundly depressed creative people can become & quite frankly... considering your many esoteric, varied, intellectual pursuits & ramblings....I find it very interesting you haven't discovered this gem of wisdom by now http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/qu...elh393626.html.
FIRE IN THE BELLY
I understand this and maybe too well at times. That's why I find myself often lost. Have trouble seeing what could make me happy. All I've had in life has been a constant struggle. On top of that I often deal with what I refer to as an inner monster. That is simply, anger. I have a great deal of trouble expressing anger. Most people get 'hot' with being angry. I skip that and go straight to being frigidly cold and in a highly frightening way, I shut off emotions, empathy most importantly. I have to 'guard' myself that I do not let go of the anger. Been giving a lot of thought to buying a heavy bag and putting it up in a barn, have a means to 'let go' then.... need to remember happiness isn't a destination where you can finally say "I'm here." Its a constant fight for the best experience.
Often have mild fantasies of going into a home where some adult is abusing a child. Been on the receiving end, survived. So, you can figure in imagination what with anger being mentioned the outcome I see in the fantasy. And that is all wrong but it's all right too. Children need protected, revered, cherished. Adults not doing that tend to cause a sickness within me. I would be wrong in trying to be helpful for child services. I would care too much, be too involved and likely be a liability in that I'd not take any manure from abusive adults. In fact I'd be the one slinging manure down on the abusive adults in an act of uncorked vengeance. I can express this here and now in following a motto offered by the C.I.A, and the oracle of Delphi, "know thyself". I know myself and would not trust myself in child services.Maybe your happy is still loving others, and maybe you need to try something like child services or some job like that where you help people.
That I might see. May also see myself in a position of the professional and 'polite' security details. Did run as an E.M.T for a spell, enjoyed that. It was helping others in a really tight spot. The trouble in it is that I enjoyed it as a volunteer, not sure I could if it were a paid position. I'm not one to get into the political bull, even as a volunteer I never did. Let me go, help others, maybe save a life or two here and there. Leave the bull and paperwork for those keen on it. And no, i don't want no spotlight or any mention even. A smile on the face of a saved life is thanks enough. 'Job done? Move on to the next.'Maybe your happy is something "different" like being a concierge that way you can show your love for people by being the catalyst that starts their night off right.
Also not really a lot of concierge positions open in rural BFE. We got a Holiday Inn in town but not really much fancier than that. Recently had a Sheetz open. Last night all of us in our Hillbilly family loaded up and went out to it as something of an 'event'. The town roughly 6 miles away from where we live was nothing but a wide spot in the road between Parkersburg & Charleston. I commented that now it'll only be a Sheetz between them. that's likely the truth too. So it goes.
Therein lies part of the problem too. I don't have a job. Not had work for a few years now. In part it is due to not seeing anything available. In another part it comes back to trying to follow 'do what you love, love what you do'. I have no clue what I love to do. Never really had a 'broad and extensive leisure immersion' time. I know I enjoy spending time with my dogs and cats. I like to write but lately my ability, skill in that is seemingly not existent. I love, loving my wife. Yes, I love people too. Even love myself despite having faced twenty plus years of being told I was not even worth dung. So, I'm faced with how does a person 'do' those things and create something of a 'job' out of them?many people have jobs they hate, many people aren't happy until they are miles away from work and home with loved ones.
On top of these mental issues, I face a little physical limitation as well. It isn't much yet it is enough to hamper what positions are open to be available to me. I also do not drive cars. That seems to be a real limitation. There's lots of trucking jobs open but if I cannot even manage a car license there's no way I could get C.D.L to drive trucks. And I kind of swore off doing that what with a stepfather who was abusive having been a trucker. Yes, that too is kind of a mental issue. I'm told not to be on ladders, not to lift over 40lbs for extended lengths. Being a stubborn mule, i of course, climb up ladders, lug around 100lbs at times. We got rid of the big tractor, so I cannot lift a ton and a half any longer, damn it. And I did that to help a dog who had a lead caught under the front wheels. Yeah, I'm a dumb lummox. I'll feel it later. 'Job done? Move to the next.'
There's no done in loving my animals, my wife, people. There are no goals, only that you keep on loving. With no goals there's no measure and then by extension no profit ergo no way to classify or make it a 'job'. Also find similar happening when I talk to therapist. They cannot classify what is wrong with me but know 'something' allegedly is. They cannot help because I'm not help-able, that is to say if they cannot figure out what 'is' wrong they cannot offer a 'solution'. I am pardon the jest, beyond help. I tell my wife I'll fashion a t-shirt one day with big block lettering reading "Too Late!"
I'll 'work' through this, it's what survivors do. I'm just not quite sure how yet. Never do like to bother planning but it seems like that is what is beckoning to be done. Need a path in order to blaize one. *chuckles* Catch 22 all over the place.
Last edited by void(); Oct 10, 2015 at 11:08 PM.
Thank you for the reminder. *hug*
I think part of the over all 'problem' is I'm happy but not exactly in a way that seems to make sense or cents if you will. And I cannot get 'over' the 'hump' to find motivation to move on and find a way to make 'cents' in order to help make sense of living. That to me is kind of tough swallowing. You yourself ought to know what I mean when I say I've been brought up with the old school of thinking.
The husband creates what is provided, provides. And here I am so cluster f_cked and whining over jack all. So yeah, kind of leveling a lot of frustration in the direction of myself. At the same time, I can see a lot of external influences 'helping' to close doors. Don't like it either but not much to do in order to keep doors open. Apologies if this reads as chauvinistic or misogynistic, neither are intended, I am simply rather 'traditional' despite myself.
Can only change my mind really. Beyond that I'm stuck. And in being stuck I wait on that butterfly. *chuckles* Still waiting ... still waiting ... *sigh* Think between here and my reply to stonerboy you can see where I am. And that ought to help show ... um, ... I don't know. Maybe it shows I'm an asshole? I'm just frazzled out and not sure, not sure is not where I like being either. Sure, i thrive on the 'stress' of the quick and wild 'jobs' but that's a different type of 'unsure', you at least got a guideline. "Do this job, move to next."
There we go. I have no "next". No matter how much I turn and ask "next?" * hugs again * And yeah, I know not all truckers are abusive pricks. It's just not something I see myself doing though. Saw how he could be dead to world asleep, we'd ask him for directions to a place. He would rattle off at least a half dozen ways to get there and even offer the best two for saving mileage, avoiding weigh stations & law. And yep, still asleep soundly but holding the mike in one hand and the wheel in the other.
At his funeral one of his driver buddies called me Whiskey Man junior. I curtly told him to check the ink on my arm, read the nom de guere therein. Another of his driver buddies gently took hold of me, patting me on the chest, he held over a pack of cigarettes offering a smoke. "C'mon now big dog he didn't mean anything", he said. I took the smoke and turned with this buddy, he had been a family friend for ages and he knew what had gone on. We laughed and spoke. One thing we laughed over was that Whiskey Man wasn't buried in a truck.
At least he had that, a 'something'. So far I don't. That damn butterfly is sluggish. Maybe it's forgot me. *chuckles*
Wow, this topic has really spun and spun.
Void, dear, I hope you're in a better place (psst, that is to say I hope that being tied up in my closet is better for you than where you were before *wink*).
I think a topic shift is long overdue (although I'm not sure we made much progress on defining a woman's sexual peak *boo*). Still....
Have you ever been walking through the kitchen and spooged into a bo... What? We've done this one already??? What kinda sick people are we, anyway?!
*sigh* Ok...I'll come up with something...original. Something that isn't just a rehash.
What sex act would you most like to be able to do, if it weren't physically impossible?
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
Make actual physical love with people over the wires of the Inter-Webs.What sex act would you most like to be able to do, if it weren't
physically impossible?
I'm not meaning cyber sex as it is currently, or cam to cam, virtual
reality. I mean actual down in the round screwing in the flesh over the
wires. I want to feel the tightness of her butt against my organ while
thrusting into her. Want to feel his lips around my testicles as he
blows me.
A better place? Oh about half and half but I'll be alright even if not
alright. *chuckles* Kind of had a funny happen yesterday evening. Wife's
brother-in-law with his fat ass had our dog hut fall over on him. He was
trying to finish putting the roof on.
Well, it kind of folded over to one side on itself. He got free and
clear and only sustained a little jarring. We discussed things, I
suggested thicker corner posts. Low and behold, my idea was spot on. As
it was the hut was just a 2" x 4" frame over a solid floor, tacked onto
to it.
When we do the thicker posts they will be set into cut outs in the floor
and tied into the sub-floor frame and trussing. We'll put 4 thick lag
bolts in each one. Then we can tie the framing into the corner posts,
which will be stronger support for the roof than just toothpicks.
Sure, kind of a shame to have wasted effort and see it tumble over. On
the other hand rather be shown errors in what was done before it was up
over dogs, came down on them or with someone inside. This way we can
go back and do as a bit of hero of mine says, "make it right the first
time."
And that's Mike Homes by the way. Love watching the big old teddy bear.
I do not watch his new show though. Not keen on the format of it.
u mean aside from doing to myself what many others have suggested lmao..................i would like to be able to give oral to myself, also take 2 or more cocks in my butt.....i know not exactly impossible but something i would have to work on. now for the impossible.........me & another guy penetrating each other at the same time i know this has been talked about before.........& penetrating 2 girls at the same time
Ever hear of Vorarephilia? While that's not something I fantasize about, I find it to be a very intriguing fetish, since it isn't physically possible.
Oops, I should include what it is:
"The fantasy usually involves the victim being swallowed whole, though occasionally the victims are chewed up, and digestion may or may not be included. Vore fantasies are separated from sexual cannibalism because the living victim is normally swallowed whole." (Wikipedia)
I've found it's usually the victim that's fantasizing about vorarephilia, and that it's not about pain, but more about being consumed.
Last edited by Melody Dean; Oct 12, 2015 at 9:50 AM.
Never forget that with a positive attitude and a great pair of tits, you can do anything!
it sounds strangely appealing on some level, maybe metaphorically......i could add it to the impossible sex acts list & say i'd like to experiance mutual vorarephilia
Wow...never heard that one before...very intriguing, indeed. Don't think I'll add it to my own personal list, ty. But still...good to stay in touch with these new developments.
So far, I have to say I'm most into void's notion of physical sex through the internet, though it would open up whole new avenues of temptation, where my life already involves enough.
Of course, sysper's whole self-oral thing is up there. But I'll take that to another level and ask for the ability to create (and later re-merge) multiple copies of myself, either for self-pleasure or pleasure of another.
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
Awe. C'mon everyone needs more temptation. Had a lot myself today. Tempted to backhand the wife, tempted to beat the tar out of her bro-in-law, tempted to go sane, but I got through it.
I will explain something. My wife cannot let me go on and do something what that I've done thousands of times, can do it, and well enough to do it in my sleep. No, she has to stand and explain how simple her way is and demand it is her way or else. I get lost in the explanation somehow. Then she gets pissed at me for becoming paralyzed. "See how simple!" And usually I'm left thinking "If you would have just let me gone on and done it, yeah, but no had to put up with some 'fancy' for crap 'splaing' what confused me." And this is why I felt like backhanding her, all her damn 'splaining and getting pissed off at me for not understanding telling me how to drive a nail for example.
Last edited by void(); Oct 12, 2015 at 10:58 PM.
Some people are just like that...they live for their splanations. But I'm curious about what she thought a driving a nail would be an example of. It seems like if you want to drive a nail for example, you should do it simply as an example of how to drive a nail. And then, sheesh, how to do it is as easy as driving a nail. Not that most of those things have fancy engines or difficult controls.
(Psst...see the strategy? We divert: don't backhand her; backhand me.)
I hope my achievements in life shall be these: that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, that I will have given help to those who were in need...that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)
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