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  1. #1

    women, men, and strap-ons

    I'm genuinely curious about this....

    there are lots of gay men who like anal stimulation in sex, but it seems there are also a fair number of bi-men and even straight guys who are into this as well. My question is this....are there women out there who genuinely enjoy using a strap-on with men....or are they for the most part doing it only to please the guy who wants it? Is it an altruistic act on their part...or mutually pleasing?

    It seems that in places like Craigslist and Collarme.com, many of the personal ads seem to be placed by Professional FemDoms (seeking payment for services rendered).....and that leads me to wonder if there are really very many women out there who enjoy this kind of sex....

  2. #2

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    While many women achieve satisfaction by simply pleasing their partner, they can also find it pleasurable themselves, especially if they use strap-ons that are equipped to stimulate them as well. Certain items like the feeldoe and the nexus (basically the same as a strap-on but without the harness) are designed for exactly that purpose. In addition, many women enjoy the sense of empowerment that they experience while using one and in many ways, that is stimulating enough.

    Kate
    Last edited by csrakate; Mar 28, 2008 at 10:30 AM.
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

    C. S. Lewis

  3. #3

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    I know my ex (female) used to love fingering my ass & we both wanted to get her a strao-on. Alas, it never happened, but I think she was even more excited about the idea than I was. I have a friend who says she likes using dildos/vibrators on men, but wouldn't use a strap on because she's a sub & that's too much of a dominant situation for her.
    "The problem with designing something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of a complete fool. " — Douglas Adams

  4. #4

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by csrakate View Post
    In addition, many women enjoy the sense of empowerment that they experience while using one and in many ways, that is stimulating enough.
    Kate
    I'm one of these women. I love using strap-ons, big time.

  5. #5

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Actively dominant women are rare.
    The few that do enjoy it are indeed able to make money at it if they wish.
    There's a ton of demand.


    I demand respect for my journey, but I offer submission to the worthy.

  6. #6

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    My wife has two strapons (pics in profile I think) that she enjoys using. The fact that she cums so hard while using them that she is wet all the way down her legs to her feet, tends to indicate she enjoys it. She has only enjoyed it for 40+ years so it may just be me thinking she enjoys it. Either way, who am I to argue? The demand for women to use a strapon is much greater than supply of women who do it. I base that statement on the requests (and offers) we have gotten from men and a few women who have seen some of our pictures.

  7. #7

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    My ex wife used to talk about what it would be like to have a dick. Years later I told her how horny I got thinking about her having a dick. Long story short she has done me with a strapon. She really enjoys it.

    I do have a question though, why does everyone associate women using a strapon on men as dominant women. Is every guy who fucks women a dominant man? I don't think so. I think my point here is why can't a woman with strapon been seen as non dominant. If I can make love to her in a very loving and non dominant manner why can't she make love to me with a strapon in a very loving and non dominant manner? Just a thought!

  8. #8

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by billy_campbell View Post
    I do have a question though, why does everyone associate women using a strapon on men as dominant women. Is every guy who fucks women a dominant man? I don't think so. I think my point here is why can't a woman with strapon been seen as non dominant. If I can make love to her in a very loving and non dominant manner why can't she make love to me with a strapon in a very loving and non dominant manner? Just a thought!
    This is really food for thought....I never really considered that a woman might like doing this and not consider it an expression of dominance.

    Maybe that's because I've only seen this in Porn....in which it looks like an act of Dominance (at least to me)....so maybe that has warped my thinking on the topic.

    As a guy that likes both anal stimulation and a submissive role in BDSM...I've always pictured it within the context of BDSM/Power Exchange....but I can definately appreciate that it could be a very different thing for those people who are actually enjoying it.

    but why should I expect Porn to be a representation of reality.....Porn would lead us to believe that...
    a. the hot Pizza delivery guy that comes to your door is ready and willing to have sex with you.
    b. plumbers won't mind if you make a sexual advance on them while they've got their head under your sink.
    c. the average male ejaculation contains about a quart of cum and will take about 3 minutes to shoot all of it.
    d. telling a straight guy that he should let another guy blow him because "a guy knows what feels good to another guy" will ALWAYS work.
    and
    e. entire platoons in the military are having gay orgies in their barracks.


    did I miss any?

  9. #9

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by billy_campbell View Post
    I do have a question though, why does everyone associate women using a strapon on men as dominant women. Is every guy who fucks women a dominant man? I don't think so. I think my point here is why can't a woman with strapon been seen as non dominant. If I can make love to her in a very loving and non dominant manner why can't she make love to me with a strapon in a very loving and non dominant manner? Just a thought!
    Billy,
    You took the words right out of my mouth! I was also having issues with the perception that a woman who uses a strap-on is being dominant. While at times the whole dominant persona is part of occasional role play, more times than not, my using a strap-on with my husband is purely an act of lovemaking and doing what I can to pleasure him, just as he does certain things to pleasure me. It's a shared experience that we both enjoy. Just because a woman "straps on a penis", it doesn't make her any less loving than she would be if the roles were reversed.

    Hugs,
    Kate
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

    C. S. Lewis

  10. #10

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    I take issue with the whole supply/demand argument as well. There are a lot more female prostitutes than male. Not all engage in sex that "most" people would consider outside "the norm." Does that mean that more men enjoy sex? (That might be true but only because far too many men can't pleasure a woman to save their lives.)

    I think that it is more likely that most women would never dream of asking their partner to be receptive, have ever seriously considered the possibility, and/or would worry that any man that would want to be anally fucked by her might be... <gasp>... gay! All of the above due to societal conditioning.

    If porn has done one useful thing it would be that it has opened up a lot of communication between partners.

  11. #11

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by allbimyself View Post
    I take issue with the whole supply/demand argument as well. There are a lot more female prostitutes than male. Not all engage in sex that "most" people would consider outside "the norm." Does that mean that more men enjoy sex? (That might be true but only because far too many men can't pleasure a woman to save their lives.)

    I think that it is more likely that most women would never dream of asking their partner to be receptive, have ever seriously considered the possibility, and/or would worry that any man that would want to be anally fucked by her might be... <gasp>... gay! All of the above due to societal conditioning.

    If porn has done one useful thing it would be that it has opened up a lot of communication between partners.
    Awww Allbius, the thing is though the male g spot is inside their/your bottom.

    Hmm for me, yeah it apeals to me quite a bit actuarly. Not that I particularly want to dominate, I just think that its a good thing to do...

    Yeah it is conditioning- one that I want to break free from... Silly conditioning actuarly.
    Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside.


    Dorothy Allison quote.

  12. #12

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by diB4u View Post
    Awww Allbius, the thing is though the male g spot is inside their/your bottom.

    Hmm for me, yeah it apeals to me quite a bit actuarly. Not that I particularly want to dominate, I just think that its a good thing to do...

    Yeah it is conditioning- one that I want to break free from... Silly conditioning actuarly.
    Awww, dibstick, I'm well aware of where the prostate is located. I've re-read what I wrote several times and have absolutely no clue how you got out of it that I needed a basic anatomy lesson.

  13. #13

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by allbimyself View Post
    Awww, dibstick, I'm well aware of where the prostate is located. I've re-read what I wrote several times and have absolutely no clue how you got out of it that I needed a basic anatomy lesson.
    Oh dear allbius...

    Lol No you dont need anatomy classes, they the great un fondled, the un loved, the un analaly challanged lol.

    The men who have never had an prostate massage before.

    Allbuis- lol. Come on now dear man! you know im rather random lol.

    You could be talking about kettles, and yet somehow, in my weird randomeness of me, I'd managed to either refer it to sex, to or soemthing else....


    Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside.


    Dorothy Allison quote.

  14. #14

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    I saw what Dib4u was saying.
    She wasn't giving you an anatomy lesson per-se, you just weren't able to read between her lines. I assure you she meant nothing offensive, and actually was contributing and supportive.
    ...sure wish my gf felt like Dib4u....

  15. #15

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    I'm certainly a great advocate of getting fucked in the ass and if I could have a penetrating instrument surgically grafted into my ass, god knows I probably would. Unfortunately, I haven't yet been assfucked by a woman (because my entire heterosexual experience is pretty much limited to having once gone down on a female friend) but if I do, I would prefer a double dildo or some such be used so she can get as much out of it. I don't doubt though that there are those who find some other means of being gratified in the act of fucking someone without necessarily 'getting off' as such. The distribution of 'dominance' seems pretty ambiguous to me. It's never completely beyond debate who in a relationship/sexual situation is actually the dominant one, if indeed either of them truly is. The very idea of 'empowerment' as such is furthermore a very modern notion which seems to presuppose quite a lot about subjectivity in sex and relationships. My impression is that situations tend often to take on lives of their own to various degrees and the presence/existence of 'power' is ultimately conceptual.

  16. #16

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    We have “just” begun to explore this experience in fact, last weekend was our second such experience and I’d say we seem to be clumsy with the technique at best lol… Which is cool because now, we can explore….and, it’s new to us. Not to be too overly graphic but in our second attempt we used a missionary position with some minor adjustments and with her on top…There was a very strong desire on my part to feel our bodies intertwined together…seriously one of the most erotic experiences I’ve ever had. I don’t think the submissive/Dominant aspects ever entered into the picture…it was more like a sharing of trust and bringing into balance…that which desired to be bought into balance…more than anything else…and it’s personally hard to identify at this point.

    The enjoyment for both of us I think, was in the giving even though I was on the receiving end…the rest was just working through the motions and, exploring the sensations. One point that did come up in discussion later is that now we "both" have shared in a similar experience ( anal), whereas before this time, only one of us new of the pleasures to be had….I’ve got the feeling that there’s going be a ”whole lot of humpin roun heer”.

    Ambi

  17. #17

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    My guy and I have finally gotten a strapon, and we love it. When he told me he wanted me to get one, was the beginning of his coming out to me. I have used it on him many times, and he enjoys it every time. We don't find it to be a dom/sub activity. It is simply making love, and I cum everytime. It turns me on very much to give him so much pleasure.

    Rock

  18. #18

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by ambi53mm View Post
    We have “just” begun to explore this experience in fact, last weekend was our second such experience and I’d say we seem to be clumsy with the technique at best lol… Which is cool because now, we can explore….and, it’s new to us. Ambi
    I share your pain on the clumsy part. I remember being so very clumsy and totally unaware of all the muscles that men use when performing a similar act....LOL..wore me out when it was all said and done and gave me a new respect for men in regards to stamina!!! Y'all have to work HARD....ok....you know what I mean...hehe...damn those double entendres!!

    The best part of laughing over being clumsy is that it allows you to work as a couple to perfect your technique and doesn't make either partner feel as if it's THEIR fault that it doesn't go smoothly at first. It's just one more shared experience a couple can have that they can learn to perfect TOGETHER!

    Hugs,
    Kate
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

    C. S. Lewis

  19. #19

    Re: women, men, and strap-ons

    Quote Originally Posted by csrakate View Post
    I share your pain on the clumsy part. I remember being so very clumsy and totally unaware of all the muscles that men use when performing a similar act....LOL..wore me out when it was all said and done and gave me a new respect for men in regards to stamina!!! Y'all have to work HARD....ok....you know what I mean...hehe...damn those double entendres!!

    The best part of laughing over being clumsy is that it allows you to work as a couple to perfect your technique and doesn't make either partner feel as if it's THEIR fault that it doesn't go smoothly at first. It's just one more shared experience a couple can have that they can learn to perfect TOGETHER!

    Hugs,
    Kate

    lol...thinking back on the experience I did have to laugh to myself at one point....my tolerace at this point is minimal so overall the experience was very slow and of short duration....maybe 2 or3 minuets at best...at one point she jokingly smiled and said..."Gee...is this all you guys have to do?" to which I replied "Yea isn't that easy" LOL..Stamina...yes!!.... LOL we'll have to see if she still whistles the same tune as my tolerance increases. Thanks Kate

    Ambi

 

 

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