What bisexual lifestyle works for

[Fidodido]

Anyone interested in talking about how best
to achieve an optimal bisexual lifestyle? I
need some help in finding out how to go about
this for myself and would be enormously
grateful for any contribution you'd like to
make about what you do, or stories/opinions
you might have about it. I'm interested in
many of the ideas in Garret Jones's e book
called Coming Clean About Bisexuality, freely
available online. And no, I'm not Garret
Jones. I'm just a guy looking for happiness,
with my own sexual issues to deal with.

[the mage]

There is no bisexual lifestyle.
There is life.

Pursuing sex is a tiny part of the time you spend alive. Don't let it rule all.

[Azrael]

There is no bisexual lifestyle.
There is life.

Pretty much how I look at it. I don't know that I live or approach life all that differently from my straight or gay friends. We all wake up, shower, drink coffee (or tea) and go about our business.
Only thing I do differently than them is stare at twice as many people
There's no manual to being any flavor of not straight.
Most of us pick it up as we go, the hard way. Baptism by fire is how I roll

[DiamondDog]

I've never read that book but I did a search and there's a free version of it in Dutch but I can't read that.

What is the book about?

[KingswingerUK]

There is no bisexual lifestyle.
There is life.

Pursuing sex is a tiny part of the time you spend alive. Don't let it rule all.

I have 'struggled' with bisexuality since age 11 when i had my first encounter with a boy of the same age....

It has caused me a great deal of personal struggle, which , although is still present within me, has gone along way towards resolution as I've maybe gotten touch older and seen a little more of life...

But this quote jut about sums up the best approach in a nut shell...

This is the philosophy that is helping me to accept who I am..

I'm not there quite yet...but I'm getting closer....

..the trick is not to let it rule you...

[Fidodido]

Hey DiamondDog.

It's best if you read it, but in essence it's about his life and how he has been able to create a holistically satisfactory relational and sexual life in which he has a long term, loving marriage with his wife, but which includes more than one long term loving sexual relationship with men, which his wife is aware of and consents to. In describing how this came about, he explores all sorts of aspects, but perhaps most tellingly, how centuries of prescribed dogma relating to sex in monotheistic cultures (Christian, Muslim, Judaism) have led to the general acceptance of the overwhelmingly restrictive belief that a conventional monogamous lifestyle is the only option, whether mixed or same sex.

I did a Google search, using the book title "Coming Clean About Bisexuality", and got Garret Jones's website. I don't think I'm allowed to post the link on this site, but the English version is available on a link, as well as the Dutch. If you Wikipedia "Bisexuality", it's the first link on the "Further Reading" section. I just finished it off tonight, and it gets even more amazing towards the end.

And there's another ebook of his called Ourtopia- if you go to his website there's an "Ourtopia update" link where he offers to send a microsoft reader version free if you email him.

I sound like his bloody agent, but really it's a revelation to me.

Andy

I've never read that book but I did a search and there's a free version of it in Dutch but I can't read that.

What is the book about?

[BiMale]

That is very interesting. I'd like to read it.

BiMale

Hey DiamondDog.

It's best if you read it, but in essence it's about his life and how he has been able to create a holistically satisfactory relational and sexual life in which he has a long term, loving marriage with his wife, but which includes more than one long term loving sexual relationship with men, which his wife is aware of and consents to. In describing how this came about, he explores all sorts of aspects, but perhaps most tellingly, how centuries of prescribed dogma relating to sex in monotheistic cultures (Christian, Muslim, Judaism) have led to the general acceptance of the overwhelmingly restrictive belief that a conventional monogamous lifestyle is the only option, whether mixed or same sex.

I did a Google search, using the book title "Coming Clean About Bisexuality", and got Garret Jones's website. I don't think I'm allowed to post the link on this site, but the English version is available on a link, as well as the Dutch. If you Wikipedia "Bisexuality", it's the first link on the "Further Reading" section. I just finished it off tonight, and it gets even more amazing towards the end.

And there's another ebook of his called Ourtopia- if you go to his website there's an "Ourtopia update" link where he offers to send a microsoft reader version free if you email him.

I sound like his bloody agent, but really it's a revelation to me.

Andy

[DiamondDog]

Hey DiamondDog.

It's best if you read it, but in essence it's about his life and how he has been able to create a holistically satisfactory relational and sexual life in which he has a long term, loving marriage with his wife, but which includes more than one long term loving sexual relationship with men, which his wife is aware of and consents to. In describing how this came about, he explores all sorts of aspects, but perhaps most tellingly, how centuries of prescribed dogma relating to sex in monotheistic cultures (Christian, Muslim, Judaism) have led to the general acceptance of the overwhelmingly restrictive belief that a conventional monogamous lifestyle is the only option, whether mixed or same sex.

I did a Google search, using the book title "Coming Clean About Bisexuality", and got Garret Jones's website. I don't think I'm allowed to post the link on this site, but the English version is available on a link, as well as the Dutch. If you Wikipedia "Bisexuality", it's the first link on the "Further Reading" section. I just finished it off tonight, and it gets even more amazing towards the end.

And there's another ebook of his called Ourtopia- if you go to his website there's an "Ourtopia update" link where he offers to send a microsoft reader version free if you email him.

I sound like his bloody agent, but really it's a revelation to me.

Andy

Thanks I found the article.

It does seem to be geared more towards men who are married/partnered to women, or men who have just finally realized they're bisexual when they're a lot older in middle age and married/partnered to women.

I'm not saying that this isn't a good thing to write about but it's not something that I can relate to.

[brunette]

It's best if you read it, but in essence it's about his life and how he has been able to create a holistically satisfactory relational and sexual life in which he has a long term, loving marriage with his wife, but which includes more than one long term loving sexual relationship with men, which his wife is aware of and consents to.

A relationship like this requires a degree of understanding and honesty that most cannot achieve. If this is the kind of relationship you are after, then you need to be very clear with your significant other about boundaries. I think that it would be best to find a bisexual girl or guy as an SO for this situation, as a hetero or homo will only view this as cheating and most will insist on having the same "rights" for lack of a better word.

Monogamy is a choice, just like studying engineering is a choice. I could go to school for engineering, I just might not be very good at it. Relationships of all flavors take a lot more work than movies or tv shows would portray. And, when you add a third party to the equation, that further complicates things. How much time are you spending with them? How much of your joint income can go towards buying them things? Is it okay to bring them home at night? Can you sleep over? etc.

All of that is much too complicated for me, but there is a plethora of info online about it. It's called being "polyamorous," and it's definitely not for everyone.

[Xscmxolwe]

I really liked this information.

[Xscmxolwe]

I really liked this information.

[Oztrich]

brunette said: "It's called being "polyamorous," and it's definitely not for everyone."

Ideal for me would be a loving wife, but also a loving male partner or friend with whom sex is included. I am bisexual, so this is a tough topic!

[charles-smythe]

Anyone interested in talking about how best
to achieve an optimal bisexual lifestyle? I
need some help in finding out how to go about
this for myself and would be enormously
grateful for any contribution you'd like to
make about what you do, or stories/opinions
you might have about it. I'm interested in
many of the ideas in Garret Jones's e book
called Coming Clean About Bisexuality, freely
available online. And no, I'm not Garret
Jones. I'm just a guy looking for happiness,
with my own sexual issues to deal with.

…I was in my 40s when I got ‘curious’…it took me a year to managed to act on that curiousity (not form lack of trying-there was no inter-net to speed up the process)…it took me about 5 minutes to come to turms with liking to suck dicks…since I was still playing with girls I more or less figured that made me bisexual instead of gay…

[tenni]

Interesting. I will try to read all or most of it. Here is a curious quote that in part explains some biguys being cockcentric?

Women often felt that such activities were a natural extension of female affectionate behavior and did not have implications for their sexuality. Men, on the other hand, were much more preoccupied with what the experience meant for their masculinity, sometimes fearing that they might never again be able to respond erotically to a woman. Some men insulated themselves from the homosexual implications of homosexual behavior by exclusively engaging in either impersonal sex ... or in homosexual acts where they took what they considered to be the masculine role [<>Philip W. Blumstein and Pepper Schwartz, Bisexuality: Some Social Psychological Issues, 1977, quoted from Merl Storr, Bisexuality: a critical reader, Routledge, 1999, p.73]

It has been nearly 15 years of discussion on sexuality but perhaps not as many years of open discussion on bisexuality. I wonder if survey was done again if men who see m2m sex as threatening to their masculinity?

[charles-smythe]

brunette said: "It's called being "polyamorous," and it's definitely not for everyone."

Ideal for me would be a loving wife, but also a loving male partner or friend with whom sex is included. I am bisexual, so this is a tough topic!

…I like having a regular girlfriend-sex included & on the down-low to be 2 or 3 guy’d FWB…as in suck dick on the side with no one the wiser…

[charles-smythe]

[Garrett Jones]

I am Garrett Jones and would be interested to talk with you if you like to email me at jngjones@msn.com Good to hear from you Fidodido;84986
.
QUOTE=Fidodido;84986]Anyone interested in talking about how best
to achieve an optimal bisexual lifestyle? I
need some help in finding out how to go about
this for myself and would be enormously
grateful for any contribution you'd like to
make about what you do, or stories/opinions
you might have about it. I'm interested in
many of the ideas in Garret Jones's e book
called Coming Clean About Bisexuality, freely
available online. And no, I'm not Garret
Jones. I'm just a guy looking for happiness,
with my own sexual issues to deal with.[/QUOTE]

[zigzig]

I think the main thing is to get an understanding partner. If you have a partner, who doesn't believe in bisexuality, then its not worth it. Open mind is very important, because if the parent is straight or gay he might struggle with jealousy and think you're ,,confused''.

[sysper]

I think the main thing is to get an understanding partner. If you have a partner, who doesn't believe in bisexuality, then its not worth it. Open mind is very important, because if the parent is straight or gay he might struggle with jealousy and think you're ,,confused''.

makes sense. also i would wanna be with a guy who understands girls are hot. for some reason that matters.

[cuttin2dachase]

I prefer bi married or bi divorced men. Having been married twice myself, I seem to have more in common with other bi men who are or have been married and who like me enjoy sex with both genders. Discussing past or present female and male partners and comparing notes on previous experiences with women and men can make for some very exciting mm pillow talk. I can bond with a guy and be his best pal in and out of the bedroom, but I am not capable of, nor do I have a desire for an emotional/love/live-in relationship with any man. I can only feel romantic and emotional love with a special woman. But at this point in my life I am not willing to ever give up my mm activities for a woman nor would I give up my mf activities for a man. I am very much upfront with my female and male partners and I will not deceive either a woman or man for the sake of getting them into bed. I could easily be in a loving ltr with a woman provided that she accepts and indulges my bi side. I wouldn't want to live together with a woman either, but I would be with her often. I doubt I'll ever meet a woman like that, but it's not stopping me from looking for her.