How many of you are bi and married

[So Cal Bi Hubby]

I am married 11 years and she is bi too. We were swinging for a while then kids sports and the kids growing older stopped it. Our youngest has moved out to go to school and we would like to get back into it but are having trouble finding those right people to do it with. We like to get to know people and make friends but it seems hard. Everybody wants to jump in the sack right away. We talk about our fantasies but just can't seem to make them reality.

I have been really wanting to have a bi man join us and have a 3some but it seems even harder to find that man. Its hard to approach it with anybody unless you meet them in a chat or forum and then they want to jump right to it.

[grant_33]

I'm male, 45, just celebrated 20th anniversary on Feb 7th. Never been with a guy, but figured out that I liked anal play in early 20's (before I was married), but didn't make bisexual connection until I'd been married 4+years (Penthouse Letters story + fact I was no longer in the military and could in fact actually be interesting in men without losing my job = Eureka!!).

My wife knows I'm interested in men but isn't interested in delving into the nuts and bolts of the issue (so to speak). She essentially is Sgt Schultz to my Col Hogan ("I see nothink, I know nothink"). I haven't played for several reasons (shyness and reticence on my part, not wanting to hurt her if caught or pass along any nasty STDs). Maybe someday. . . .

[Solomon]

my-00-stang, personally i think that absolute honesty is the only way for you to go with your wife right now. i do understand that it's rough, but it seems to me that you're paying a price right now for not being absolutely honest already.

just a thought, but as you've committed adultery in your heart so have you committed adultery is talking about the consequences of dismissing your wife. it's not the act, it's not giving your wife the respect she deserves in being your wife, before you went and acted on your feelings.

the two do become one in the institution of marriage, even if there's a denial of the institution.

i've heard it said from those wiser than me that "if your friends leave you because you're doing something, then you didn't have any friends and you're just finding out."

to me, that says it all, and it's powerful.

[bibottom30064]

Hi , I have been married 44 years and been Bi for nearly 40 of those years. I came out to my very straight wife about 20 years ago and she knows I meet with other married men.

Her attitude seems to be that what the eyes don't see the heart can't feel.

[Hector]

Married for 23 years, Twelve years ago while we were having sex I made the comment that I would like to have sex with a guy. It was a turn off. She immediately stops and confronts me. I had a very bad night. Later on we had the chance to talk about the issue in multiple occasions and her concern is that one day I may leave her for a guy or that I’m gay and I’m with her for convenience.

Ten years ago I met a guy in the Internet and we had sex. Since them I had safe sex with many guys without her knowledge. Sexuality is very important component in my live and I enjoy it with both sexes. I’m very ‘open-minded’ and I easy accept her having occasional sex with her male friends (--for some reason I enjoy it--). I would like to have the luck to find a bi-male friend that I can introduce to her for occasional sex together (not sure if this will work).

[BiDallasCouple]

both bi here too. we love the fact that the other is bi too. we rate all the guys and girls. hehe

[snl4play]

Both bi here I reintroduced her to her bi side. SHe had some experience as a teen but blew it off as just harmless teen stuff. I kept mine from her to a degree until five years ago when I introduced her to my other side she enjoys watching and participating by dressing and acting like man with a strap on it has been awesome. And I will dress and act like a girl for her albeit a very hairy ugly girl.lol We been bmarried 18 years now.

[jedinudist]

Bisexual and Happily married :D

In fact, even though I told my wife-to-be about my sexual past when we met, it was she who helped me stop fighting it and accept my sexual orientation.

[PATRICK69]

Me lol

[yoyo4u]

Just like Celin Dion (don't sing so beautifully!) Don't wanna be All bi myself but I am since 2000.

She knows this, yet no agreement is in sight!

[Solomon]

Just like Celin Dion (don't sing so beautifully!) Don't wanna be All bi myself but I am since 2000.

She knows this, yet no agreement is in sight!

Six years?? that reminds me of me... to a point. I had to ultimately be.... assertive with the agreement, but then so did flex. still do an now we get along great.

P.S. by assertive i mean like we got to a point where we both said "look this is who i am, this is what i expect, can ya live with it or not?"

[darkeyes]

Am divorced but have related my story elsewhere. It wasnt a particularly happy or a very nice story and it was all down to me and one of my more ditsy moods, but thought I was in love and could be happy monogomously with my husband living miles away from anywhere with the big house and all the trimmings, and being treated with respect and like a lady.

Before long the old desires which I had since my teen years began to haunt, and I missed the touch, the scent and the excitement of being with my own sex, and needless to say I soon fell by the way. In the end I hated myself for hurting a nice guy but it did reinforce my feelings that Im not a girl who will ever settle happily with any guy. My needs for my own sex and what they can give me physically and emotionally are just too strong and simply there is no room for that kind of attachment in my psyche for any man. Experience since has possibly taught me that maybe I will never be able to settle with any woman either, but its there overwhelmingly most of my sexuality is driven, though contrary to popular belief, born of a certain warped sense of humour, I am neither man hater or sexist bitch, and nor do I dismiss the possibility of of a good old fashioned tumble with the odd or preferably not so odd man, but not involving a relationship of any serious kind.

Not long ago I surrendered my right to dream and underwent a really bad time in my life. But slowly I have been reclaiming that right, and once again I can dream and in those dreams women play such an important part which no man could ever come near to matching.

[yoyo4u]

Six years?? that reminds me of me...

Well these past six years were on top of six (on and off) active years, full of exciting bisex.

I guess, I should feel balanced, but I don't!

Hopefully there are six more on their way and I hope, that they will be the "good" kind, before Men-OH-Pause hits!



yoyo

[BicuriousIndy2]

We have been married 16 years. She has had a woman play with her at a swing club and enjoyed it. I have not touched another man but have very strong urges just no chances yet.

[siraussietosser]

Im married, although only newly wed, and she does not know. Although I would never think about having a relationship other then sexual with another guy, I think that it all comes down to choices.

It is my opinion, not trying to tell anyone else how they should think or feel, but I chose to get married so I should honour my commitment and follow my well str8 side, if you get what I mean.

Just becuase bisexuals enjoy the company of both male and female, it does not mean that they should still dabble with the other once married. Unless your wife or husband knows and is ok with it.

I admit that I do have masturbation sessions with other guys over the internet, but this is due to the fact that our sex life is not a full one, as her medication for her epilepsy kills her libido, and I do not blame her for this. So she knows that I mastubate alot, but sometimes yes I have to see others get off to, and find that the internet is a very good avenue for this. I only masturbate with guys, sort of like a jacking club, as I would feel too uncomforatble with another women.

I dont think I should have to tell my wife, as I am all for her. Until such time, if it ever happens, that I feel that I want to experience another guy in person, then I will be completly honest with her. For now I dont what her to have this uncertainty in our marriage about something that most likely will never happen.

I know how she sort of feels about bisexual and gay lifestyles, and I dont know if whe would handdle it all that well. Plus living in a small country town does not help one bit, huh I am the most str8 acting guy you will ever meet.

So to answer the question Yes I am married and bicurious, but my love is all for my wife physically, although sexually I do masturbate online with other guys for relief.

[shadowsaffinity]

i am bi and married. we're both 26, been together for 7 years, married for 5. i realized i was bi after we were married 1 year and my partner realized it maybe 2 years ago now. he was very understanding and accepting all along and it just makes it better now that we both identify as bi.

[pete7]

I've been married 19 years and had my first experience with bi sex at 15 with a friend of mine the same age. We continued for about 2 years before we both move on with women. It was a great experience and one of the highlights of my youth. My wife doesn't know about this and for now I'll keep it that way...

[NakedBike]

I've been married 16 yrs and together for 19 yrs. I discussed in the past having had some MM interactions with my wife but never made much of it. Last fall for the first time since I was married I had a strong attraction for a guy that my wife had met going to grad school. It got me thinking again about when I was a teen and thought "bi" was the perfect balance for sexuality. I only occassionally had MM interactions over the years prior to us meeting and until recently didn't feel an "urge" albeit this time it was stronger and I felt more real as I'm older and feel I know myself better than as a youngster. About 3 weeks ago I told her that after all these years I really think I am bi. Doesn't really change anything as far as our commitment to eachother goes though.

[littlej1019]

I've been married for 10 years. She doesn't know, and considers the idea of bisexuality gross. Most of the time, I use the vibrator I bought her (which was really for me) and masturbate. I am talking her into getting a bigger, more lifelike dildo (again, for me). Occasionally, I do have little flings on the side, always with a guy I have know since high school who is in the same situation I am. We use each other a couple times a year to get all those "man lovin" urges purged for a bit.

[NjbiGuy01]

Hey, new member here:

Married 23 years, 50 year old, wife knows (isn't thrilled about the idea, when I did eventually tell her of my escapades). Admittedly, I told her after we were married, and she felt "betrayed", but I have been a hard working husband and good father to my kids as well, and make a good living. We've worked out that we understand how I think of myself as bisexual, but I want to live a "conventional" lifestyle with a wife, kids, and home etc.

I played with a few men in my teens into early twenties. A few guy pals on the track team and I watched porn, jerked one another off, and with a few very close friends played with oral and anal. I tried glory holes once or twice in the late 70's. I also discovered swinging with a few couples in my late twenties and early thirties. I feel extremely comfortable with both a man and woman present in the bed. After about a ten year dry spell, I did finally meet some new play friends.

Within the last year finally met a lovely couple in NJ where they are both bi, they accept me as both being bi and being married, despite that wife does not know. She's actually wanted to meet the wife, and really wants to try to "bring her over to the dark side". While it's tempting, I feel confident it could destroy the marriage. I know what the wife will or will not do. I know her feelings about gay or bi females (not good), so I won't bring them together.

My couple and I have grown as friends (we went for drinks and dinner for a few months before anything more than a kiss was exchanged). We've traded family pictures and become both very good friends as well as great sexual partners. We've gone to the nude beach together, and it's truly a relationship. I enjoy pleasing and being pleased by both, and they enjoy (and look forward) to our trysts every month or so. We have few limits, and each encounter gets better than the last.

I've finally found a good place for me sexually, emotionally, and remain pretty happily married. Wife is willing to please me with toys and fantasy play, but has no interest in swinging with another male, female or couple. She's too uptight Italian-Catholic conservative I'm afraid. Being married guarantee's that I am discrete, I'm uber careful about bringing any bad things home.

Lately I do think there must be a similar guy to me who wants to play male/male, which I do think about sometimes. I like man touching, and do enjoy an occasional male/male erotic massage (totally safely), and have been tempted by men I've met at spas, usually while on vacation. The closest I've gotten to playing is watching, touching and jerking in a shower while two guys got in on (Vegas), and letting a guy massage my balls and cock with his foot in a hot tube (Florida). No serious or unsafe play, although I have been tempted. Once a male massage therapist at the Marriott in Cozumel offered to "help me in the shower" (man, with his dark good looks, and Spanish accent, that was tempting), but I politely declined. Maybe he saw the bulge after the massage was done ! .

I still go to adult bookstores and like to watch all kinds of male and/or female/male play (we have a great local club for that).

We all have to just find the right place for ourselves sexually, emotionally, and in life. Yes, I know how lucky I am to have found these great people. I'm not "out" to more than one or two extremely close friends (a couple are former girlfriends, one of which is now gay), and although I wish I could be more "out" than I am, I realize I cannot. My Gaydar gets picked up pretty regularly, and I find that flattering, and it keeps my attitude positive, and lets me know I still got "it".

[void()]

Female here married for 22 years always have been 'bi', he has known from the beginning

I've similar reply, though only married 7 years, she's always known. We've been together 10 years.

[paukenplayer]

not currently married. Divorced 6 years ago but that had nothing to do with me being bi. It was her decision and came completely out of the blue - took a while to come to terms with that for me.

I had "feelings" I did not know how do deal with since late high school years. Met my (now ex) wife early in college. I had pretty much figured out that I was bi by that time but had not yet acted on my attraction to men.

In general discussions of life, the Universe and everything I came to understand that my wife had no understanding or tolerance for any alternative lifestyle, gay, bi or otherwise. Out of respect to her and our marriage I let it go and buried my Bi side.

After the divorce, it occured to me that I now had the opportunity to explore and find out if I really was bi or it was just a fantasy.

So, here I am now having determined that I really do like both sexes.

Long answer, but I wasn't quite sure how to answer the question without an explanation.

[parkwings]

Interesting posts, I appreciate peoples candor.

For me, I'm pleased for my ex gf, I think all in all she will be happier with a straight guy, rather than me.
Our relationship was getting to the point of marriage or not, so we opted not. I knew I was always jacking off about men, fantasing etc. so I thought it best to let her go while she was still young.

I try to keep life simple, be honest and true to myself.

What does the future hold for me...I don't know yet!

[scubaman]

I am bi and my wife does know about my sexuality, however does not prefer to participate in that lifestyle, which I respect.

[raistkit]

good morning raist here i started when i was 12 yrs old as well my wife now knows and accepts me for who i am, it may not work for u or it may, it takes balls and knowing u may lose it all to bring this out to your wife, butt with me i chose to lose it all rather than pretending anymore, if she loves me for who i am and she loves me she will understand, but not all wifes are acceptable to this i hope yours will be or at least bring her here so you can explain that this is who you are and it is not a bad thing, she may like it, just a thought
raist

[Rickh611]

I'm 46 years old and married 15 years and bi since age 16 and the wife knows nothing about it and she wouldn't understand if I told her not that she would leave me or anything like that but it would shock her and it wouldn't be the same between us.

[Lyon1369]

I am 32, been married for 11 years, together for almost 16years and she knows and is supportive. we have some ground rules so no feelings are hurt and no one gets any nasty suprises.

[y4uasking]

I've been married 7 years to my wife. She does not formally know but she has a good idea and does not talk about it. Soon I'm going to suggest "a little group thing" and let her know.

Wish me luck!

[bibon]

hey i am bi and married 38 yr old been married for 15 yrs wife doesn't know. and i was just wondering how many ppl here were like me. i started young at 13 with my best friend we kept it going until we were almost 20 then the whole normal thing had to happen and we both got married . so just wondering

Hi I'm 38, husband doesn't know. Have been attracted to ladies and their boobs since I was about 12.

[ds6220]

I have been married to my wife for almost 11 years. she has only recently revealed or allowed herself to admit to herself that she is bi. It started at a hot tub party where she and the hostess were "exploring" each other under the water. we have gotten pretty close to that couple and have swung (is that the right term?) a few times since then. There has been a lot of girl/girl during these get togethers. There has also been a lot of mixing up like f/m/f and m/f/m and even a little m/f/m/f fun but I have still not talked to her or revealed my Bi side. Considering all we have done together I am still scared of a double standard where f/f is ok but g/g is not. I have had only 1 gay experience (I say gay because it was only me and the other guy) and I really loved it and would love to share that side of me to her, but.....well, it just seems risky.