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  1. #1
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    So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I see so many adds of bisexual guys, but can I find these guys out in the street or in the clubs just by looking at them? Am I talking to several potential hot lovers every day of my life?
    You might get away with asking a woman if she is bi without too much trouble, but I am thinking if I did that with guys, I would be more finding out "how to get the shit beat out of me without even trying."
    Is it a look? Is it a walk? Is there something I can do to identify myself to a fellow bi male that only someone bi would pick up on?

  2. #2
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Every now and then, You can pick them up on Your gaydar. Some days I appear on peoples gaydar and some days I don't. I do wear a Bi-Pride wristband. That way, a person could feel comfortable approaching me - Dave
    'I Never Met A Winner That Didn't Bet" - Joe The Craps Dealer

  3. #3
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I dont think there is a way to tell. I have often tried to tell the difference between a straight and bi. I am bi but I am very straight acting. I know that bi men are very receptive to conversation from stramge men and warm up quick to conversation.

  4. #4
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by ramboan69
    ...You might get away with asking a woman if she is bi without too much trouble, but I am thinking if I did that with guys, I would be more finding out "how to get the shit beat out of me without even trying."...
    Saying it that way is too funny but probably brutally true. I'm totally clueless to picking out bi guys in public places but what works for me is being in places or checking web sites where I know the other guys are bi. I've been to the bi conference last summer, gone to parties where most guys are bi, hang with the few bi friends I know and through them meet other bi friends, occassionally check into bi chat rooms, post profiles in sites like this one. In the past couple years I've done just what I wanted to do: expand my circle of bi friends. Thats all without being very aggressive about approaching others. What more can yah do?
    BiBoz49 Live in the moment

  5. #5
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    In a small way I was trying to be funny there but then, it sure could turn out to be true as well.

  6. #6
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Take a girlfriend into a gay bar and see which men hit on her.

  7. #7
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Waaaay difficult. So what I now do when I'm needing a man is go to a gay club and mingle. There's no embarrassment of "guessing" and likely hitting on a str8 guy. Over the course of conversation you discuss the degree of gayness/biness but what do you care? A male lover is what you're after and similarly when you need a woman, does it matter really if she's straight or bi?
    Go for it, hon!

  8. #8

    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    In an ordinary social situation, you may occasionally find a guy giving you more attention than what you might expect or consider necessary. This is often a sign that his real interest is sexual.

    Another common situation is when a stranger gives you what I call 'the lingering glance.' It's a certain look that lasts a couple of milliseconds longer than you'd expect. More than once I've passed such a guy on the street, turned back to look and found him doing the same.

    These behaviours are of course practised by gays as well. Still, they're worth being aware of. And, reacting to positively!

  9. #9
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    for me it's really easy to tell if a guy is bisexual but I seem to have good gay/bi-dar and it comes from observing people, especially their eyes (cruising eyes in public), or body language and reading people.

  10. #10
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    i find it odd that bi guys should have a look; or for that matter a gay guy or a straight. yeah, some have what is often id'd as representative of any of the above catagories, but i have had the pleasent, and as many have also experienced, severely unpleasent experience trying to discern those whom we "...hope..." will share our orientation.

    most here have already pointed out the best way; just engage them, eye-contact the best tactic. that has always worked best for me; on a rare occasion you may experience the anger of someone, and in some cases that of their boyfriend/girlfriend, but what the hell! what's life without the consequences of anger?!

    good luck! and go for the eyes!
    get in! sit down! hold on! and shut up!

  11. #11
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by someotherguy
    Take a girlfriend into a gay bar and see which men hit on her.

    Now theres an idea...
    Being bisexual doubles your chances for a date...

    Codybear

  12. #12
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by someotherguy
    Take a girlfriend into a gay bar and see which men hit on her.
    bad idea.

    most single women that go to gay bars/clubs (if they're not lesbian/bi) go there because it's thought of as a "safe space" where they won't get hit on by men.

    Plus, if I'm in a "gay" environment I'm going to be more attentive to the men. I have been hit on by het/bi women in gay bars but I'm not there for them...

  13. #13

    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    The best way is to establish the right type of eye contact. Just as with a woman, you don't want the eye contact to be too intense. With her, it comes off as creepy. With him, it can get you punched in the face. Feel his cues, if he looks back, or smiles, ratchet up the flirting a bit. A smiling man can mean even more than a smiling lady. You've got to start small, be aware of feedback, and react accordingly. Ultimately it isn't much different than heterosexual courtship. Relax and slide deeper in or calmly move away depending on what your gut is telling you.
    "Elvis didn't do no drugs!" ~Penn

  14. #14

    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I agree with the Eye contact. There have been many times I have just glanced at a guy, made real fast eye contact with him and could just tell he was interested.

  15. #15
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I would have to say the answer is you can't. Part of the difficulty of being bisexual is that we are very often unaware of each other. That's why we have places like this to meet each other and as was described earlier, build a sort of bisexual social network. Most of the tips described are really just gauging how gay a guy might be. The lingering glance doesn't mean bi necessarily. Given you were asking specifically about bisexual men I'd say short of asking you can't tell.

  16. #16
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Eye contact, soft spoken, and willing to do something for you with a smile with nothing in return, us bi's like to please and are not harsh with others in any way. Man to man we will smile back, start a silly , flirty conversation but still let you know there's a woman by our side, realizing you/us are still excited!

    Have you hugged your bi-friens today??

    Have you hugged your bi-friend today??

  17. #17
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    OK, heres a more specific question. I came into work the other day and say a guy in a cubical a few rows ever I had never noticed before, and WAM! I got that feeling (you know the one), Its rare that a guy does that to me (its more common in women for me) but there was something about him. Hes really cude and has a quite nice body too. Its so hard now a days to tell sexual orientation on clothing and hair and such die to the whole Metro thing, but for deductive purposes hes got an uneven hair cut (not emo uneven) layer dyed blond, hes got a line of facial hair on his chin (not sure what thats called) and wears tighter pants, a tee-shirt with ripped looking sleeves and sometimes a white hoody when they turn down the heat. I havent got a chance to talk to him yet, but Iv made eye contact. It was just briefly and it seemed just like a regular glance, not really much of an egknowlagement. I dont know if this guy is gay, strait, or Bi. What do you think? and what do you think I should do?

  18. #18
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLion
    OK, heres a more specific question. I came into work the other day and say a guy in a cubical a few rows ever I had never noticed before, and WAM! I got that feeling (you know the one), Its rare that a guy does that to me (its more common in women for me) but there was something about him. Hes really cude and has a quite nice body too. Its so hard now a days to tell sexual orientation on clothing and hair and such die to the whole Metro thing, but for deductive purposes hes got an uneven hair cut (not emo uneven) layer dyed blond, hes got a line of facial hair on his chin (not sure what thats called) and wears tighter pants, a tee-shirt with ripped looking sleeves and sometimes a white hoody when they turn down the heat. I havent got a chance to talk to him yet, but Iv made eye contact. It was just briefly and it seemed just like a regular glance, not really much of an egknowlagement. I dont know if this guy is gay, strait, or Bi. What do you think? and what do you think I should do?
    okay, you've made the initial contact; step 1, make it again, or step 2, go to his cubie and start up a conversation. do it a couple of times, and see where the talk goes; however, if you make eye contact again, hold it, walk down the aisle, and begin at step 2. if the talk is positive, make your move based on what you think is best.
    get in! sit down! hold on! and shut up!

  19. #19
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I just hope somebody here comes up with some kind of "Universal Bi Gesture" that only Bi s can understand....hehehe Like taking a quick glance and simultaneously biting the lower lip......If he/she responds back...it will then be easier to approach him/her.....


  20. #20
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    You'll have to get someone to teach you the secret hand shake

  21. #21
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    It's my belief that all men are gay and long for intimacy with a man. Some are just too backed up to act on it.

  22. #22
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by thelos
    It's my belief that all men are gay and long for intimacy with a man. Some are just too backed up to act on it.
    Gay, lying or lying

    re:the thread about escaping to gay clubs. I'd treat members of the opposite sex like they might not want you hitting on them. If I was single and in a gay club I wouldn't mind a woman hitting on me though

  23. #23
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I think wearing special pins would be very useful.

    For example:
    669
    696
    969
    996


    yoyo
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 669.jpg  

  24. #24
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    I live in a remote Western Australian town and have exactly this problem. It has a population of about 5000 people and as far as I know there is only one openly gay person in the town. He can only be described as a queen and I would not touch him with a bargte pole. Any suggestions on how to find another bi in a towwn which offers no possibilities?

  25. #25

    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    This seems to be a question with no pat answer, like so many other things in life.

    It sure would be nice to have a "secret handshake". I thought about putting the bi flag on my myspace site, but didn't want to have to answer "What is that?" to everyone since I'm not "out".
    "If you are bi, you double your chances for getting a date"
    One of my favorite non-bi sites:
    http://www.bbwlifestyle.com/index.php

  26. #26
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by someotherguy
    Take a girlfriend into a gay bar and see which men hit on her.

    That actually happened to me!

    A gay friend took me to a gay leather bar after a Christmas concert one night.

    Here I was, in my best minister's wife Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes........and I got hit on THREE TIMES in a gay leather bar?? One guy was really persistant, and several guys in a group invited me back. Surprisingly, my gay friend couldn't even get anyone to talk to him.

    It still blows me away LOL!

  27. #27
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    How to spot a bisexual? Interesting question seeming as we're such a varied group of people then it is somewhat difficult. But then again, is that such a bad thing? lol. I mean it helps others to see the person before they see the sexuality and helps to stop prejudice overtake reason.
    Nevertheless, there could be good sides to increased bisexual visibility, I mean biphobia still well and truly exists and if we were more prominent and assertive about our sexuality [ I mean look at the Gay Liberation Front in the 60s/70s/80s and modern groups like 'outrage' who helped to end prejudice/discrimination against gays by radical activism and increased visibility] then we could strongly reduce biphobia. Even so, bisexuality is still often seen as something that is a lot less visible than heterosexuality/homosexuality. Tom RObinson summed it up quite well "bisexuality has the potential to become a new underground" [read the whole article at:www.bothways.com -its the link called 'independent'] and to be honest do we want companies cashing in on bisexuality like they have done with 'gay culture'? [I mean all this talk about buisness and the 'pink pound' seems like corporate exploitation of 'gay culture'].
    Despite this, it would be good to see a few more bi flags around just to let people know that we exist as a distinct sexuality. I mean, a while ago, I decided to try some bi-pride nail varnish [thumb and little finger fingernails painted black, index finger painted blue, middle finger purple and ring finger pink] and that looked kind of cool. One of the small many ways you can increase bi visibility. Also (unless you are still in the closet) proudly state that you are bi whenever anyone asks about your sexuality. If not to increase visibility this can prove useful in showing you how many misconceptions/ biphobic prejudices people still have (the lastest was last night [15th Jan] when someone called me 'greedy' for liking both sexes) and it could give you an opportunity to correct those misconceptions by dispelling a few stereotypes.

    Just my

    Izzfan
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    World without end
    We are not afraid
    Let the night come..."

    -Poppy Z. Brite

  28. #28
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by thelos
    It's my belief that all men are gay and long for intimacy with a man. Some are just too backed up to act on it.
    ugh I get tired of the typical mindset that gay/bi men really want to believe that all hot men are secretly into men.

  29. #29
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by bediddle
    You'll have to get someone to teach you the secret hand shake
    handshake??....we have a secret handshake??..< turns to codybear> dude, why didnt ya tell me about the secret handshake??
    "To each monkey, it's own swing.." - old Latino Provberb

  30. #30
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    Re: So how do you tell if a guy is bisexual?

    It's a real dilemma, how to identify potential partners, maybe even more so among bisexual people than gay or lesbian, because so many of us are not yet out to spouses or others in our life. It all feels very shadowy and secretive.

    I think this is especially difficult for older bi's (mid-fifties). For example, on this site, which would seem to be a natural gathering place, and not all that hard to find, there are only a handful of people from even the same state (VA), and many fewer in my area; fewer still within 10 years of my age. And I live in a metro area of over 1 million people!!

    I don't feel especially comfortable in gay bars, where people are mostly much younger. And online has seemed to be a vast waste of time, for the most part. What few contacts I've had have mostly been with guys who either spell badly, are preoccupied with "stats", or just want a quick BJ (usually all three). When someone asks me my "stats" in the initial conversation, forget it. Ask me something about me as a person. I don't have a problem with guys who are just into it for a quickie, but it's not what I'm looking for.

    My female friend, who is also very much wanting to explore her bi side has had the same issues, though I do think it is easier, and much less stigmatizing for women (though I could be mistaken in that, having just watched the movie "Julie Johnson").

    So yes, it would be nice to have some way to identify each other, but don't hold your breath.

 

 

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