Almost felt kinda bad

**Jazminedress** · Dec 31, 2023, 7:34 PM

So, been messaging back and forth with this guy for a few weeks, good personality, funny, seemed like a decent person.

Today I was out running around, and with the places I was going, I was dressed en femme. Since I was in that area, decided to meet, no promises made, no expectations.

I get there, this guy seemed to leave a ton out. He was in a wheelchair, had an oxygen tank, only use of one arm. He also had home care to take care of all cleanliness type of things.Okay, well, I was only there to meet the guy and wasn't planning on anything else, figured I would stay and chat.

Turns out, he was planning on something else, got upset when I said no.....................and actually accused me of being a bigot against people with disabilities. I tried to remind him we never talked about a hook up, and doesn't he think that maybe he should have been more forthcoming about his condition ?

He actually asked me what difference it makes. Sorry, don't mean to be an ass, but the assumtion I will fuck everyone I meet is annoying, and yeah, someone in this condition, no, I am not going to be turned on, and no, I won't go through the motions jsut because someone feels they are deserving.

Went back online to a forum I am on, he is bragging about how he made me moan.....................I think I am going to let him have today, then out him as a liar. If he wouldn have been nice, I would blow it off, but this guy was such a douche bag, it was unbelieveable

**elian2** · Dec 31, 2023, 8:14 PM

Wow, people really do play mind games sometimes.

**iamcontent** · Dec 31, 2023, 8:34 PM

Let people know so it will be harder for him to do the same thing

**Jazminedress** · Dec 31, 2023, 11:21 PM

Originally Posted by iamcontent

Let people know so it will be harder for him to do the same thing

Not overly worried about that, I think he is a miserable lonely person, which is kind of sad, and probably his "friends" do the requisite visit here and there...........I just am not going to have someone claiming I slept with them when I didnt

**tenni** · Dec 31, 2023, 11:36 PM

hi Jazz

I do not think that he is a douchebag. He is a wounded human who has probably been rejected and put down many times . I do not know how emphatic you feel towards him but you are tougher (emotionally) than him. You write about his positive you mention. If you don't want quietly leave. If you feel that he should not lie to you about what you two have not done, mention it privately.

**remington12369** · Jan 1, 2024, 2:21 AM

When he obviously lied like he did what does he expect? If he was honest about his situation he would be more likely to get sympathy sex if that is what he was looking for. His chances of a hookup lying is about .1 of 1%.

**KDaddy23** · Jan 1, 2024, 10:00 AM

Wow, that was fucked up...

**Jazminedress** · Jan 1, 2024, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by tenni

hi Jazz

I do not think that he is a douchebag. He is a wounded human who has probably been rejected and put down many times . I do not know how emphatic you feel towards him but you are tougher (emotionally) than him. You write about his positive you mention. If you don't want quietly leave. If you feel that he should not lie to you about what you two have not done, mention it privately.

You do have a good point, and having had a day to be less annoyed, I might just send a message to the couple of people we know in common. I think you have good counsel on this

**coastocoast** · Jan 1, 2024, 9:54 PM

The assumption on hooking up with anyone without expressly stating you were open to it would have me hitting the door without looking back. Some like to play hit and run more than others and some really want to know what they are getting into before they consider it. Omissions being it physical looks, "I am married" surprise, cooties or vices are enough for many to decide that they might be the wrong person makes sense. Sorry, been there.

**elian2** · Jan 1, 2024, 10:36 PM

Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to having sex with someone with a disability as long as they were capable of willfully consenting and enthusiastic. It's the idea of demanding sex on the spot with no previous discussion, etc that bothers me. Then to brag about it? No thanks.

**Jazminedress** · Jan 2, 2024, 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by elian2

Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to having sex with someone with a disability as long as they were capable of willfully consenting and enthusiastic. It's the idea of demanding sex on the spot with no previous discussion, etc that bothers me. Then to brag about it? No thanks.

I dont know if this guy would have been healthy enough..............but even if so, i would have been uncomfortable

**elian2** · Jan 2, 2024, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by Jazminedress

I dont know if this guy would have been healthy enough..............but even if so, i would have been uncomfortable

Sex definitely can be aerobic exercise, and I've heard of people getting into medical distress over it, so yeah .. sorry if he felt insulted but also not really sorry right .. I get it.

**Fiddlestyx** · Jan 2, 2024, 1:00 PM

Originally Posted by Jazminedress

I dont know if this guy would have been healthy enough..............but even if so, i would have been uncomfortable

The leaving-out-of-important-details was bad enough, but add to that the presumption and you've a deeply unfortunate situation. Ok, sad, but somewhat forgivable. The online comments are a very foul "icing on the cake" and a bridge much too far. Not sure what he was hoping for...

**Jazminedress** · Jan 2, 2024, 6:48 PM

Originally Posted by Fiddlestyx

The leaving-out-of-important-details was bad enough, but add to that the presumption and you've a deeply unfortunate situation. Ok, sad, but somewhat forgivable. The online comments are a very foul "icing on the cake" and a bridge much too far. Not sure what he was hoping for...

I think in this case @tenni is correct, he is a wonded person..........never excuses someones behavior, but can be understandable

**Warren63** · Jan 2, 2024, 10:52 PM

More than his body is messed up!

**Sigstache** · Jan 3, 2024, 5:02 PM

Yeah the guy is broken for sure, both physically and mentally. Just feel sorry for him and move on? Maybe. Would confronting his behavior make a difference for him or another unsuspecting person? Its hard to not be angry at him though. He was manipulative, entitled, a guilt tripper, and then a liar (on the forum).

Tough call

**MAcpl69** · Jan 4, 2024, 9:05 PM

Good for you for trying to reach out. Bad on him for being misleading and angry.

**DD788Snipe** · Jan 5, 2024, 1:34 AM

Originally Posted by Sigstache

Yeah the guy is broken for sure, both physically and mentally. Just feel sorry for him and move on? Maybe. Would confronting his behavior make a difference for him or another unsuspecting person? It's hard to not be angry at him though. He was manipulative, entitled, a guilt tripper, and then a liar (on the forum).

Tough call

I agree with that but WTF. Talk about assumptions and imagined expectations. I don't know Jaz. I guess just chalk it up as a really bad experience and don't have any contact with him again and leave it at that. Well on 2nd thought on whatever forum you met him on I would counter his B. S. post with "it never happened and if anyone asks send them a PM and explain it away. Sorry you had to run into that for just reaching out.