How many of your wives know?

[Jozyxt]

My wife knows. She's accepting, but hardly enthusiastic about my bisexuality. I suppose she feels --and properly so -- that her abandonments of her role in the sexual aspect of our marriage nearly 18 years ago prompted me to begin exploring same sex options. We abide by a strict "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" arrangement, and observe a specific set of ground rules:

1) Safe sex only; condoms are a must
2) Never reveal details of what I do, where I do it, or with whom
3) Never cause her to meet anyone with whom I've been sexually involved
4) Be discreet ultra-discreet
5) No explicit nude photography, videos or anything that could cause embarrassment or professional harm
6) Men only; no sex play involving other women
6) No drugs -- period
7) No anal play or anal intercourse
8) No sex with others in our bed or bedroom

(I've pretty much broken every on of those rules, but what Joanne doesn't know won't hurt her.

That is a good set of guidelines. Except for the no condoms, I try to follow them. My general idea is to treat my wife as a silent partner in my activities. While she and I have never discussed it, she is an intelligent and worldly woman so she knows. Treating her with respect instead of feeling like I am sneaking around on her keep the relationship stedy.

[marine20]

sundazzled , you fear a risk ? what risk ? you're not getting anything from your wife now. worst case scenario is she still won't have sex with you. you lose nothing by letting her watch , and possibly something to gain . i say go for it. i wish my wife told me she wanted to watch.

[NJwood]

Oh, wow! This is a lot to take in.

As I've previously mentioned in this thread, my Mrs. has known for almost 17 years of my occasional exploration of sexual intimacy with other guys. She's never been enthusiastic or even curious about it, but has given her tacit approval for me to play with select guys because she effectively resigned from the physical aspect of of marriage following a bout with cancer in 2005. In fact, she says sheds more comfortable knowing I'm getting off with other guys, as my playing with other women would seem more of a betrayal.

Until now, Joanne and I have maintned a strict "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy under which I'm *never* to discuss what I do, when and where I do it, or with whom. A few days ago, however, we're having a Frank discussion about how much I miss the very full and active sex life we had before her illness. I asked her if there was any chance of trying again, for old time's sake. She said no, that part of her no longer exists ... but that she'd be open to watching -- maybe even helping -- me have sex with another guy! She said I could consider it a present for my birthday next month.

On the one hand, I've always been something of an exhibitionist, and allowing her to watch while I have sex with my buddy, Dave, appeals to my kinky side. Moreover, her willingness to willingness to watch, maybe even have a limited role in one of our encounters, suggests that she may still have some interest in sexuality, or at least some willingness to see me being sexually fulfilled. I know that some women become very aroused watching their man being sexually intimate with another guy. My thought is that maybe, just maybe, allowing her to see firsthand what I do behind closed doors with my buddy, Dave, might kick start her libido and lead to something more.

I really want to do this, but on the other hand, I worry that she may not be prepared for what she might see. She says she can well imagine what guy-on-guy sex looks like, but imagining is one thing. Actually seeing me with another man's cock in my mouth, or sawing in and out of my backside until he cums inside me may be more than she's prepared to handle. I fear she may find the realities of bisex disgusting, or that she may become jealous, or experience negative emotions.

I fear the risks of sharing my bisexual self with my Mrs. outweigh any potential benefits, and that it would probably be best to decline her request to watch me do things I've kept carefully hidden for more than a decade and a half.

me do intimate things I've kept carefully hidden for more than a decade and a half.

Sit down with her and discuss it. Find some ground rules, maybe start by sharing some pics or videos if your male partner is cool with that. Let her then decide if she likes it and wants to be there in person. My wife has told me she is not interested in being there live, whether it?s physically or livestream. But she does love videos sent to her. When I got home that night and we talked about what went down she was disappointed that I didn?t have any videos of the action, especially getting my ass fucked. She is free to tell me what she is uncomfortable with (another woman being one of them), so we can both enjoy and feel good about it. Ease into it and keep talking honestly about it.

[jjourneyman]

I've only been with a couple of guys who've told me that their wives knew and approved of their MM play. The vast majority of married men I've been with have insisted on complete discretion as they were afraid what might happen to their marriage if their wife or anyone they knew found out about their interest in other guys. I did have one female lover who said she would love to see her husband with another guy, but she didn't think he would go for it and was afraid to bring up the subject with him (obviously, he had no idea about us). I have been involved in a number of MFM threesomes, and some of them were married couples, but the play was always focused on the wife.

[Roxxi]

Wife caught me sucking a guy who came to repair the washing machine. I guess she knows now!

[Cforme]

Wife caught me sucking a guy who came to repair the washing machine. I guess she knows now!

I need my washing machine fixed!!! LOL!

Mine would freak. She?s probably the prudest woman I?ve ever been with and wouldn?t understand. I have to push for more non traditional sex as it is. She doesn?t understand how much I love going down in the first place. I blame my first real girlfriend who?s ex was a male stripper and she taught me EVERYTHING! The world really opened up for me after her. I keep trying though!

[wifekinky4husband]

Wife caught me sucking a guy who came to repair the washing machine. I guess she knows now!

And...... ???? How is it going?

[JordanCD]

I’ve never told her, but I’m 99% sure she’s put one and one together over the years. In my experience women “know” more than you think.

She once saw a picture of my butt on the computer. I had deleted it by the time she asked about it and I just played dumb, and she didn’t push the issue.

I shave my ass and enjoy anal play and she sometimes helps me with it during sex.

She once found some of my lingerie (sometimes I crossdress when I masturbate) and she was just relieved it was mine and not another woman’s.

The fact that she hasn’t asked for more details or brought up the topic in 20 years tells me she’s not very open to a “change”, so there is no point in me coming out to her.

[fredward]

We've had a few MMFs before, tho MFFs and MFMFs are a lot more common, mostly because most swingers are not into MM play. She's seen me blow a guy and swallow his load.

We currently have a regular MF couple where the play sessions usually have MM play. The only problem is that the other woman is not into FF play, so any MM play leaves her out of the picture. Not that it doesn't happen tho. He's into cum play, which I find a bit gross (I like to swallow, but not swap), so he often ends up cumming in my wife's mouth, and kisses her after cos she's into that.

[sissyjackie]

Found them on chat rooms. sites like this. double list to

[Lemonade1184]

My wife knows about my past experiences. I have not acted on any urges since before we started dating but I have been very open about my past. She was cool with it but the topic has not come up in conversations over the years.

[IndyBiJ]

I told my wife that I was bisexual almost a year ago now, been married 21 years now. A coming out sort of talk, she admitted to me she had suspected it for a very long time. My browser history had tipped her for a long time. Wanted to know why I took so long to tell her, she had some basic questions about it for me that I didn't expect. We've not really talked about it much since, couple of little things she throws out there about men she has been with. Right now we are just little it play out.

[Yoyome100]

She knows

[CurEUs_Male]

They all know.

They being one.

[MAcpl69]

She knows and is fine with it. Hoping to get her to try recreational sex with others. She pegs me and is ok with me playing with other people, but she doesn't want to know about it. Hoping a situation arises that she can't say no to.

[Grumpygrandpa]

I doubt if the first two did and the last one never questioned me. Kinda hard to ask her now she passed away July of 2010. So that's the best answer I can honestly give. When married I was satisfied. When not I wasn't going after anything special. Kinda all over the map as it were.