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Thread: Bi husbands

  1. #1

    Bi husbands

    I was just looking in the book section and I saw something with a title like this: 'The lives of Gay and Bisexual husbands'.

    Am I the only one who's slighty annoyed by that title? Two recent threads on this forum involve bi men telling their girlfriends. This book doesn't look very helpful. I won't say exactly why because I'd like to know what you think first...

  2. #2

    Question Re: Bi husbands

    What's to be annoyed with? The title lists both lifestyles, it doesn't assume they are the same. It is authored by Dr. Klein after all, and he is the LAST person that would try to say bi is the same is gay.

    While I dont agree with Dr . Klein on everything, he is/was considered to be at the forefront of the whole "Bisexuality does exist" movement. So as a guy who came out to his wife two years into the relationship (six years ago and still happy thank you), I guess I don't see the reason you are annoyed.

    Did you sign in to Amazon and read the exerpts and back cover?

  3. #3

    Re: Bi husbands

    um why are you mad? Tell us more about what this book thing says. Its hard to make a judgment by the title. WHat does it say that it ruins families or something?

  4. #4

    Re: Bi husbands

    Um, my hubby is bi, and that title doesnt bother me (or him) at all, at least it aknowledges bisexuality as seperate to being gay!!! Why does it bother you so much? Is it because its not about gay/bi wives/spouses in general.... in which case I am sure there are other book to deal with that!
    "Dont cry because its over. Smile because it happened"

  5. #5

    Re: Bi husbands

    I suupose it's my problem really. I just felt that it almost implied that gay/bi husbands are the same when they are very different. i know it doesn't say that but I would have thought that Klein could have come up with a more helpful title (or perhaps a more interesting one lol.)

  6. #6

    Re: Bi husbands

    As the old saying goes, SLIMES...You can't judge a book by its cover....or its title in this case...
    Being bisexual doubles your chances for a date...

    Codybear

  7. #7

    Re: Bi husbands

    Having not read the book I would merely assume that Dr. Klein is addressing the issue of men who enter into marital relationships while all the while knowing that they have sexuality issues that they may or may not have shared with their spouse. This is a situation that many men seem to face and I would feel he could offer some insight into the phenomenon. Whether the man is gay or bisexual, he still faces hardships having done so.

    Hugs,
    Kate
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

    C. S. Lewis

  8. #8

    Re: Bi husbands

    Quote Originally Posted by SLIMES
    ...I would have thought that Klein could have come up with a more helpful title (or perhaps a more interesting one lol.)
    LOL! Keep in mind, Dr. Klein was a research scientist. When it comes to statisitcal analysis, you're really not allowed to have an imagination, let alone use it.

    I was once a psychology student and I remember my psyc stats class (shudders). Nope. No imagination allowed.
    Never be bullied into silence;
    Never let yourself be made a victim;
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define yourself.

  9. #9

    Re: Bi husbands

    I'm not offended at the title since I think that if you are bi/gay and get married you should tell the other person, as it will come out sooner or later.

  10. #10

    Re: Bi husbands

    Quote Originally Posted by SLIMES
    I suupose it's my problem really. I just felt that it almost implied that gay/bi husbands are the same when they are very different. i know it doesn't say that but I would have thought that Klein could have come up with a more helpful title (or perhaps a more interesting one lol.)
    Well, I haven't read the book, but I get what you're talking about. A married couple with a bi guy and a married couple with a gay guy present two totally different dynamics and shouldn't be lumped together. One is very workable (and a lot of fun maybe) and one is probably not. I don't know how the book handles this but the title presents the wrong perception in my opinion.

  11. #11

    Thumbs up Re: Bi husbands

    I'm afraid too my wife to explain that boys turn me on, when i see nice cocks, strong asses splended gays!??!

  12. #12

    Re: Bi husbands

    Quote Originally Posted by Herbwoman39
    LOL! Keep in mind, Dr. Klein was a research scientist. When it comes to statisitcal analysis, you're really not allowed to have an imagination, let alone use it.

    I was once a psychology student and I remember my psyc stats class (shudders). Nope. No imagination allowed.
    I too was a psych student (have a degree in it even) and remember well my stats class. It was that prof that gave me the definition I still use for "NORMAL"
    He told us in answer to one of the questions about "what is normal" that there is no such thing as normal when talking about human beings. There are personal and societal norms but no normal. When applied to humans, normal was merely the figment of some screwed up psychiatrist's imagination - probably Freud (he was very anti-Freud)

    As for the book title - I wouldn't judge it on title alone. I've read many books that the title alone would not have made me interested but reading the blogs on the back or the covers piqued my interest. As to whether or not it may appear that Klein was lumping gay & bi together, that would depend on how the title was written - i.e. Gay/Bi or Gay & Bi - both use the same terms but mean totally different. The 1st lumps them together and the 2nd seperates them.
    ____________
    Title: Bisexual and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words
    Author(s): Fritz Klein, Thomas Schwartz
    ____________

    To me this title indicates that they are seperated. Why though, with all the titles in the book section that are about Gay, Lesbian and Bi, would you pick on just this one? Many of the other books also have them linked in a similar manner.

    ex. Title: A Woman Like That: Lesbian and Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories
    Author(s): Joan Larkin

    Just my

    Gem
    Last edited by Just_Gem; Oct 16, 2006 at 10:14 AM. Reason: addition
    Let's have some XXX FUN!

  13. #13

    Re: Bi husbands

    Quote Originally Posted by Just_Gem

    ....Many of the other books also have them linked in a similar manner.

    ex. Title: A Woman Like That: Lesbian and Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories
    Author(s): Joan Larkin

    Gem
    Because Klein's book refers to marriage where the difference between gay and bi moves form being important to absolutly crucial.

  14. #14

    Wink Re: Bi husbands

    so whats the problem?

    next my bi wife is gonna be a book topic with a bi hubby.....


    lol give me a book advance ill write a lame book too....


    my gay lover and my bi wife


    seems like a best seller to me



  15. #15

    Re: Bi husbands

    I thought the book was about two guys in a marital relationship where one was a "5" and one was a "3".
    I'm not heterosexual, I'm not homosexual, I'm justsexual.

  16. #16

    Re: Bi husbands

    Bisexual and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words

    Ok, the joke would have been better if I had said:

    I thought the book was about two guys writing about their marital relationship whose profiles on bisexual.com listed a "4" for the first and a "7" for the other one.
    I'm not heterosexual, I'm not homosexual, I'm justsexual.

  17. #17

    Re: Bi husbands

    i agree it might not seem clear klein was talking about each separately, but how would u make it clearer?

  18. #18

    Re: Bi husbands

    Quote Originally Posted by SLIMES View Post
    Because Klein's book refers to marriage where the difference between gay and bi moves form being important to absolutly crucial.
    Damn! Absolutely crucial, even. It isn't merely a simply crucial, or maybe just a kind of crucial, oh no it's absolutely crucial. When someone begins defining absolutes I am usually wandering away slowly to avoid drawing attention. Absolutes strike me as being hilarious simply for existing.

    There's no day without night and day. No light without darkness, life without death. In my humble view the cosmos seems keen to present many shades of grey/gray/gr eh. That leads me to question if absolutes are valid, or even do exist at times.

    Tread us light upon the dwindling life befallen us, a gift it is to simply live it. I do know of some, yet few and rare absolutes. Nay am I trying to take ye for a piss here. Please though don't go fretting the absolutes. I understand your point of view love, not that I do not, rather that I like realizing I'm just a speck of dust in it all. In that, the absolutes bear no great sense of meaning crucial or otherwise.

    Seems you might be hung over the idea of marriage. If you're not I apologize. My thought is why would it be crucial either way only for marriage and not being single? I'm calling a poul fenalty on you now that I've had to think on this. You're discriminating between ideas. I'll take two meters and an offside kick in for your penalty, now ease way so I can goal the shot. Sorry, not meant as anything but good humor and different views, ideas, questions. Well there might be some flirting, never can tell with me. I'm a married bi man.

  19. #19

    Re: Bi husbands

    I'm married to my wife, so that makes me a husband. I also like having sex with guys as much as I like having sex with women (1 on 1 preferred, though), so that makes me bisexual.

    Titles like that don't bother me since that's just somebody's guess about the lives of others. Since it would land wide of the mark of my life, as I live it, things like that are really nothing to me. I have better things to concern myself with.

 

 

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