HELP!

**Oborokybiman** · Feb 20, 2021, 12:46 PM

I’m 54 years old and have had many experiences with many woman over the years as a heterosexual man. But while married the 2nd time with a woman 4 yrs my senior, she refused to give it up! She decided that the complacency was all she wanted(think she was fucking a co worker of mine)! And she had turned me off for some time. Although it was wrong I got on a dating site looking for a woman and found 2 guys had messaged me. So, long story short, I discovered my bi side. We divorced in 2014 and were separated for 3 yrs. I n those 3 yrs I had some very fortunate affairs going on with men and women. Finally, found the gal of my dreams and dated. I knew when we were dating that she was a virgin at 40 years old and she knew I was not. So, again long story short....how do I get her to want to suck cock and allow me to have guy time as well? I know this is a loaded question but I’m up for all answers. We married 15 months ago and my appetite for sex is stronger now than when I was 24....which is astonishing in itself.

**cbxer66** · Feb 20, 2021, 12:56 PM

I know the feeling, my appetite for sex, at age 59, is about the same as it was in my 20's. Which is to say, I like it a lot. Most women won't be wanting to do it every day. Good luck with that. I can live with every other day or every third day. Anyhow, I got divorced in 2015 and am doing all I can do to not ever get married again.

**Cum1st** · Feb 20, 2021, 1:01 PM

Looks like you've got the big half of the pie now. Maybe in time you'll be able to get more of it. I'm assuming your 'appetite' is fueled by plenty of good sex.

**Alex_rose** · Feb 20, 2021, 4:08 PM

Dam i hope to have the same sex drive at your age. Im in my 30s and I feel its higher than in my 20s. That is a tough question especially since she's inexperienced. At least your honest with her unlike some guys wouldn't tell her. Maybe before telling her let her know you really care about her and how your feelings toward guys doesn't change how important she is to you. Good luck.

**demi_dame** · Feb 20, 2021, 9:29 PM

Unfortunately you don't 'get her' to do anything. You both are either honest with each other and can work something out, it doesn't go well with her and you honor her current view, or it doesn't go well and you see guys anyway without her knowing. It may sound harsh but there you go.

**NJwood** · Feb 20, 2021, 11:27 PM

The best time, as I found out, to tell your potential partner of your sexual desires is when you first start dating. We are adults who do adult things that we have come to know and accept as integral parts of us as adults. Then your potential partner has the opportunity to choose whether they can or are willing to accommodate those desires. It matter not if it’s as simple as her giving Uluru a blow job or as elaborate as her performing in a bisexual orgy while suspended over a canyon on ropes. Ok, I’ll admit, I’ve never done the latter.
The next best time to have the discussion is now. Start a conversation about what her fantasies are and then share yours. You can start out with the heterosexual ones and ease into the bisexual ones and then tell her how you came to them. Let’s face it, once we’re beyond the point in life where we intend on having children, being with someone is mainly about intimacy or to be more blunt, sex. That’s how I looked at it when I was widowed at 43. I wasn’t going to become celibate and was not a great player. If I was going to be in another relationship, it was primarily for the pleasures of sex. I also knew that I desires that in a relationship with a women but still enjoyed the lusty pleasure of oral sex with a man. My wife understood and accepted that. As we talked about my “dating” tonight, I reiterated that when guys message me looking for intimacy and a relationship, I tell them I get that with my wife. What she doesn’t have for me is a penis! She laughed in agreement.