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  1. #1
    Member

    Gender
    Couple - M/F
    Location

    Ohio
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    15

    Question Help with new girl & being more Dom

    So long time member here but rarely post. I need some help. I divorced and started seeing a new girl recently. The sex can be great, but she is very passive, and likes being submissive in bed. She likes to be restrained, spanked, allows me to do anything I want and says all the time "you can do whatever you want to me". We've talked a little about that and what it really means since I said upfront that her comment could leave us in a place where I think something is OK but she doesn't and that's not good. Let me add that this is the first girl I've encountered like this. Most previous lovers would be more "normal" for lack of a better word lol. A lot of the talks we have had ended with her saying something along the lines of I'd rather just "do" than talk about it, talking takes the fun out and turns me off a little honestly. So just do what you want and I'll stop you if I don't like something. Just do whatever you want to me! I should add here, she's not into bi play or involving others in our sex although she's told me she's done threesome stuff in the past but I never wanted to know more or ask what she's done that way. I do know she "almost" had a MFF once with a co-worker but called it off in the moment for various reasons.

    So, why am I here? I need some help. I'm not very Dom by nature but have tried to give her what she wants. I've tied her up, spanked her, used toys and she gets real real turned on, but I'm not confident in what I'm doing but she always says she enjoys it. My problem is I'm not real imaginative when it comes to this stuff and feel well, I guess stupid is the best word because I don't know what to do, what to say for dirty talk etc. in the past I've enjoyed long foreplay sessions but typically the girl is more "involved" she will take my dick and suck it while I play with her or just do stuff to me. The new girl sorta just lays there and expects me to "take what I want".

    So, how do I become more adventurous while not feeling stupid lol? She's told me I can fuck her mouth anytime, and mentioned hanging her head off the bed for it. I'd love to do that but then when I think about it I feel dumb having to say that's what I want. I'd like our sex to be more fulfilling for me. I love getting my dick sucked but it takes a long time for me to cum that way and if I ask for head she'll do it but only for a few mins and then says her jaw starts to hurt (I'm told I'm very girthy and larger than most but I see it as average so who knows...). Anyway any advice you guys here have would be appreciated.

    tldr: I need to get more imaginative and be able to give my new girl what she expects by "doing whatever I want to her". Need help with ways to transition to more Dom and not being embarrassed about being the Dom that knows what he's doing.

  2. #2
    Senior Member

    Gender
    Male
    Location

    Kentucky
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    770

    Re: Help with new girl & being more Dom

    hey man tie her spank her ass with hand paddle leather strap make those ass cheecks red fuck her in the ass and put a dildo in the pussy while you are doing it she wanted to be dommed enjoy it you wont find many women like that

  3. #3
    Senior Member

    Gender
    Male
    Location

    Indiana
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    472

    Re: Help with new girl & being more Dom

    louther you need to join FetLife.com. You can chat with Doms and Submissives and you will get a LOT more help there than you will here or anyplace else(I am bw299 on FetLife). You can join for free without a CC. Also, you will be able to better explore your opportunities for 3-sums with like-minded people.

    Good luck!

  4. #4
    Senior Member

    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Georgia - Atlanta Area
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    662

    Re: Help with new girl & being more Dom

    Having a true submissive slut, female or male is a rare find. Part of the excitement a sub feels is not knowing what is coming next, but looking forward to having their envelopes pushed to the limits. The anticipation heightens her or his mental ans sexual arousal and is the other part of the excitement she or he feels. If your sub lover tells you to do or try anything you like, take her or him at their word and do just that. Have a safe word other than "NO!" for your sub to use if you are going too far. Don't be discouraged if a sub doesn't enjoy what you've tried because there are plenty of other things to try. One thing I've found is that most subs, female or male, desire to have a Dom make them suck and fuck and submit to other people to prove to the Dom that they will in fact do anything their Dom desires and commands of them. This is something you may want to discuss with your sub lover. Perhaps you could double team her with another Dom with a bit more experience and imagination than you have and learn more.

 

 

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