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  1. #31
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    I have no regrets about trying bi, The only regret I have is that I was 32 yrs old before I did try it. After the first time I played naked with a man, I knew I'd be bi for life. I have enjoyed and gloried in having mm fun in addition to mf fun and group fun ever since. I don't read any psychological elements or aspects into it. To me it's all about sex, pleasure and friendship/bonding with other men who really enjoy having fun and sex with men as I do.

  2. #32

    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    My first encounter was when I was 33. I spent a few years prior, renting gay male porn movies and buying a few gay magazines and a dildo to use on myself. I wasn't much for using the dildo on my ass, but I would stroke myself for hours when watching the videos or flipping pages in the magazine. I fantasized on what it would be like to fuck a guy and having him suck my cock. As time went by, I grew more curious in what it would be like to be in the 69 position with another guy and sucking each others cocks. It took about 3 years for me to finally, play around with the first guy. We met on the old AOL Instant Messenger in a chatroom. He was 6 years younger than me and we chatted online every day for about 2 weeks. Our first meeting was at his place and I remember my adrenaline was on overdrive, but nervousness played a part too. I was there for maybe and hour at most and we sucked each other to which, he asked for my load and I gave it to him. I did not take his load, but instead, got dressed and went home. Once I got home, I took a shower and jumped in bed, telling myself that this would be the one and only time that I would ever do this and that I would remain faithful to my girlfriend. One side of my brain regretted taking the plunge, but the other side was much more powerful and reminding that I've been turned on by watching gay male porn. Fortunately, the desire remained strong and I continued to communicate with the same guy and get together with him. A few more times, I went home with the same mixed feelings, but kept enjoying our encounters too much to give them up. With each visit, I became more comfortable to the point that after several months. We promised each other that it would only be the 2 of us and neither of us would seek out additional male partners.

    We played with each other, off and on for 10 years until, I met a new woman that eventually became my wife. For 3 years, the desire remained strong and one day I reached out to him via email, expecting the email to be no longer any good. 2 days later, he replied and a few months later, we picked up where we left off. I am 54 now and he is 48. He moved a long distance almost 4 years ago and we hadn't spoken until this past Christmas. My only regret is that we had 2 extended periods of no contact (3 and 4 year stretches). He is moving to within a 3 hour drive from me and we just met up again, 2 weeks ago, when he came into town to visit family. I am divorced (have a GF) with kids now and so is my buddy, but the visit 2 weeks ago was well worth the wait. The great thing about being Bi is that I love spending time with my girlfriend and doing what couples do. But, I love that I have rekindled a past friendship with a buddy that I can say is my lover too. Seeing that I've always been the top with him and he loves being a bottom. We are moving forward with experimenting with him fucking me for the first time in a couple of weeks. Something that I've always wondered as to how it would feel to have a mans cock in my hole......yep, looking forward to expanding our play time and my ass, lol.

  3. #33
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    like so many of you, my only regrets are about what I did not do, like being more open about my bisexuality. I am very happy about what I did do, like experimenting with my friends back when I was 12.

  4. #34
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    I regret not letting guys suck my cock until joining my first couple with a husband into it at 17. I passed on quite a few offers.

  5. #35

    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    No regrets here unless just the fact I don't have a fuck buddy to get together with now.

  6. #36
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by thirstyfellow View Post
    I think "regret" for trying something new is a misplaced emotion. I do have regrets, but they seem to be limited to those times when I failed to try something new when given the opportunity, and those times where for some reason I caused hurt or pain to someone else. Not really about exploring bi issues to me.
    Well said.

  7. #37
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by myowncum View Post
    my only regrets are about what I did not do, like being more open about my bisexuality.
    Not being more open about your Sexuality is something that you shouldn't have any regrets about, OK.

    Personally, I am only open about my sexuality to a handful of people that trust absolutely. That has been my choice.

  8. #38
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    The only regret that I have about being bi is that I didn't realize, nor explore this side of my sexuality more when I was a young adult (20s), before marriage and children and life came in where there would have been fewer consequences or worries from my actions (when you play safe). But, at that time, I was also not in a area where I could have easily and discreetly done such, though I did a few things. Worse yet, I didn't have the knowledge nor support to understand such then, either. Now, realize that I love and prefer women and that wouldn't have changed either way. But if I had the knowledge then that I have now, I could (potentially) have had fewer lonely nights and had more NSA fun during the periods I was single. When you get older (40's and beyond), single or not, it is not as easy to find "adult fun", much less be able to "perform" reasonably if and when you do. I can still go...thank the Lord...but it is more work to do so. Some of us, men and women are not so lucky, even some who are younger than me. Just saying.

  9. #39
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    I have NEVER regretted a single minute of trying Bi. It is wonderful and has opened up a whole new world for me. And I have to thank my wife for asking me to try it. I love sex with both men and women and my wife loves watching me have sex with guys. She gets so turned on and masturbates while watching me suck or being fucked that she cums spool loud I'm afraid the neighbors are going to hear her. Lol

  10. #40
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Regrets, yes as a young teen. After every encounter with the same boy who was my age as well I would swear to myself never again. But hormones kept putting me back into the situation which was only jerking each other off. It made for an uncomfortable friendship since later I found that he was full on gay and I wasn't, when I started getting GF's that would fool around I abandoned my sexual relations with him. This made our friendship become uncomfortable since we saw each other almost everyday and hung out with the same group of friends. After a few years of no sexual contact he and I ended up alone one night. At 18 we were having beers and he wanted to go park in an area that I wasn't familiar with, not one we all use to use to drink and smoke pot without being found. I knew he was going to make a move but went along. I figured at worst I would get a handjob and have to give one as well.

    Once there he did move and I was enjoying the handjob and felt bad so I started to reciprocate. His penis had grown a great deal since 14 and I was oddly excited by this. I had never been attracted or excited by him or his penis just his touching of mine. As I stroked him and admired his thicker longer penis I suddenly had the urge to suck on him, just a little I thought and figured he would return the favor. Once I went down I was again surprised about how much I enjoyed it, it was very hard and soft at the same time. He did go down on me as well but for some reason I was enjoying sucking him more than being sucked. I had been sucked by several different girls and I found that he had never been sucked. His enjoyment sort of overwhelmed me and I quickly decided since I had already started it I was going to finish him. His orgasm was extremely dramatic for lack of a better term and I continued on him until he was beginning to get soft. As soon as he went down on me I came, I had never been so excited and at the time it was the best orgasm I had ever had. He remarked after that he had no idea it could feel so good. After I was extremely remorseful, he was not and we must have repeated the act a dozen times over the coming days.
    This continued for about five years, me having many gf's and he having none. At 20 or so he told me what I already knew, he had no interest in girls. At that age and many years after it ended at 23 I deeply regretted the arrangement, it's always made me confused since I never desired doing this with anyone else.it was many years before I even had a hint of desire or attraction to another guy.
    The first person I was attracted to was so much like him but it never happened. I was in my early 40's by then. Now years later I would like to explore it again.

  11. #41
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Never had any regrets. I started sucking older men's cocks when I was 8 and loved it and have ever since. I'd been looking at older men's cocks in the public showers for a long time and used to jackoff thinking about sucking them.

  12. #42
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    sounds like u & ur wife share a certain appreciation for sexual openess. u2 are matched pretty good! glad u2 enjoy being togather

  13. #43
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    thanks for this. finally a regret where the regret isn't that someone didn't try it sooner lol. ur journey to feel comfortable sleeping with ur friend kinda sounds like my journey to accept the thought of being with a guy turns me on. everytime i got so excited by the thought after i j/o i felt guilty & ashamed i ever even thought about it i thought it would be the last time. but after several months it came back. the desire was still there. overtime that period became shorter & shorter. i have come a longway just as u have & now im pretty much constantly open to the idea. altthough i have got a feeling i will have similar feeings to my 1st time with an actual guy as u did. but u overcame them & allowed urself to enjoy the experiances. i know i can do the same thing too. the idea sounds pretty exciting as well as hot. i know it will be a challenge & i will have to overcome alot but it's something i feel i need to do but also something i'm looking forward to do. goodluck with ur friend/lover & have a fun filled time lol.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bifun2009 View Post
    My first encounter was when I was 33. I spent a few years prior, renting gay male porn movies and buying a few gay magazines and a dildo to use on myself. I wasn't much for using the dildo on my ass, but I would stroke myself for hours when watching the videos or flipping pages in the magazine. I fantasized on what it would be like to fuck a guy and having him suck my cock. As time went by, I grew more curious in what it would be like to be in the 69 position with another guy and sucking each others cocks. It took about 3 years for me to finally, play around with the first guy. We met on the old AOL Instant Messenger in a chatroom. He was 6 years younger than me and we chatted online every day for about 2 weeks. Our first meeting was at his place and I remember my adrenaline was on overdrive, but nervousness played a part too. I was there for maybe and hour at most and we sucked each other to which, he asked for my load and I gave it to him. I did not take his load, but instead, got dressed and went home. Once I got home, I took a shower and jumped in bed, telling myself that this would be the one and only time that I would ever do this and that I would remain faithful to my girlfriend. One side of my brain regretted taking the plunge, but the other side was much more powerful and reminding that I've been turned on by watching gay male porn. Fortunately, the desire remained strong and I continued to communicate with the same guy and get together with him. A few more times, I went home with the same mixed feelings, but kept enjoying our encounters too much to give them up. With each visit, I became more comfortable to the point that after several months. We promised each other that it would only be the 2 of us and neither of us would seek out additional male partners.

    We played with each other, off and on for 10 years until, I met a new woman that eventually became my wife. For 3 years, the desire remained strong and one day I reached out to him via email, expecting the email to be no longer any good. 2 days later, he replied and a few months later, we picked up where we left off. I am 54 now and he is 48. He moved a long distance almost 4 years ago and we hadn't spoken until this past Christmas. My only regret is that we had 2 extended periods of no contact (3 and 4 year stretches). He is moving to within a 3 hour drive from me and we just met up again, 2 weeks ago, when he came into town to visit family. I am divorced (have a GF) with kids now and so is my buddy, but the visit 2 weeks ago was well worth the wait. The great thing about being Bi is that I love spending time with my girlfriend and doing what couples do. But, I love that I have rekindled a past friendship with a buddy that I can say is my lover too. Seeing that I've always been the top with him and he loves being a bottom. We are moving forward with experimenting with him fucking me for the first time in a couple of weeks. Something that I've always wondered as to how it would feel to have a mans cock in my hole......yep, looking forward to expanding our play time and my ass, lol.

  14. #44
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    I don't know about regret unless it could be called "not educated in the ways of sexuality" as most of us older men and women only knew what was taught or not by family, trusted friends or what was seen in magazines of the day...
    My own experience came from an older neighbor (me 18, him 60 freshly showered). Didn't know much then but fell into a 69 position with no prompting from him. It felt natural as he held my young cock and sucked so I followed with the same action (side by side in bed) not really knowing the final outcome. As it happened the harder he sucked, I did in return. We actually came at the same time. Yes, I did swallow. I fell asleep with my head on his leg and his on mine. Once I woke up I took the dick looking at me, softly sucking life back into his cock and repeating the experience. Unfortunately, It never happened again. However, this has served as benchmark for other experiences. My sexual education regret at the time has been solved in many ways.
    So having said that, you don't know what you don't know until you have experience and correct information to answer the questions that run through your head.
    Don't worry, be happy!

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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    so basically, go for it?
    Quote Originally Posted by 1funguy View Post
    I don't know about regret unless it could be called "not educated in the ways of sexuality" as most of us older men and women only knew what was taught or not by family, trusted friends or what was seen in magazines of the day...
    My own experience came from an older neighbor (me 18, him 60 freshly showered). Didn't know much then but fell into a 69 position with no prompting from him. It felt natural as he held my young cock and sucked so I followed with the same action (side by side in bed) not really knowing the final outcome. As it happened the harder he sucked, I did in return. We actually came at the same time. Yes, I did swallow. I fell asleep with my head on his leg and his on mine. Once I woke up I took the dick looking at me, softly sucking life back into his cock and repeating the experience. Unfortunately, It never happened again. However, this has served as benchmark for other experiences. My sexual education regret at the time has been solved in many ways.
    So having said that, you don't know what you don't know until you have experience and correct information to answer the questions that run through your head.

  16. #46
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Black Knights View Post
    The only regret that I have about being bi is that I didn't realize, nor explore this side of my sexuality more when I was a young adult (20s), before marriage and children and life came in where there would have been fewer consequences or worries from my actions (when you play safe). But, at that time, I was also not in a area where I could have easily and discreetly done such, though I did a few things. Worse yet, I didn't have the knowledge nor support to understand such then, either. Now, realize that I love and prefer women and that wouldn't have changed either way. But if I had the knowledge then that I have now, I could (potentially) have had fewer lonely nights and had more NSA fun during the periods I was single. When you get older (40's and beyond), single or not, it is not as easy to find "adult fun", much less be able to "perform" reasonably if and when you do. I can still go...thank the Lord...but it is more work to do so. Some of us, men and women are not so lucky, even some who are younger than me. Just saying.
    plus u would of learned more about urself sexually earlier if u felt more free to get togather with guys too. u also described alot about my regret i never tried it at an earier age. i don't think it's too late for me overall but would of been more interesting to explore the same sex earlier in my life. it would be a different kind of experiance. some of the wonder would be gone as an older person. plus like u said, it's harder to find adult fun as u get older.

  17. #47
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    interesting story. sounds like u both learned something about urselves & each other. i'm sure awkward & maybe painfull but u learned. hope u find another opportunity.
    Quote Originally Posted by Joboo View Post
    Regrets, yes as a young teen. After every encounter with the same boy who was my age as well I would swear to myself never again. But hormones kept putting me back into the situation which was only jerking each other off. It made for an uncomfortable friendship since later I found that he was full on gay and I wasn't, when I started getting GF's that would fool around I abandoned my sexual relations with him. This made our friendship become uncomfortable since we saw each other almost everyday and hung out with the same group of friends. After a few years of no sexual contact he and I ended up alone one night. At 18 we were having beers and he wanted to go park in an area that I wasn't familiar with, not one we all use to use to drink and smoke pot without being found. I knew he was going to make a move but went along. I figured at worst I would get a handjob and have to give one as well.

    Once there he did move and I was enjoying the handjob and felt bad so I started to reciprocate. His penis had grown a great deal since 14 and I was oddly excited by this. I had never been attracted or excited by him or his penis just his touching of mine. As I stroked him and admired his thicker longer penis I suddenly had the urge to suck on him, just a little I thought and figured he would return the favor. Once I went down I was again surprised about how much I enjoyed it, it was very hard and soft at the same time. He did go down on me as well but for some reason I was enjoying sucking him more than being sucked. I had been sucked by several different girls and I found that he had never been sucked. His enjoyment sort of overwhelmed me and I quickly decided since I had already started it I was going to finish him. His orgasm was extremely dramatic for lack of a better term and I continued on him until he was beginning to get soft. As soon as he went down on me I came, I had never been so excited and at the time it was the best orgasm I had ever had. He remarked after that he had no idea it could feel so good. After I was extremely remorseful, he was not and we must have repeated the act a dozen times over the coming days.
    This continued for about five years, me having many gf's and he having none. At 20 or so he told me what I already knew, he had no interest in girls. At that age and many years after it ended at 23 I deeply regretted the arrangement, it's always made me confused since I never desired doing this with anyone else.it was many years before I even had a hint of desire or attraction to another guy.
    The first person I was attracted to was so much like him but it never happened. I was in my early 40's by then. Now years later I would like to explore it again.

  18. #48
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	bisexual-logo-hi.jpg 
Views:	205 
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    Quote Originally Posted by pole_smoker View Post
    Being bisexual is not something that you "try". A person either is bisexual, or they are not and are gay/lesbian, or heterosexual. A person can be a complete virgin to both sexes/genders and yet they are still bisexual. Now if you are wondering if either myself or my husband had regrets having gay/bisexual sex with the same gender/sex or heterosexual sex with the opposite sex/gender the answer is no.
    This brings us to the famous "Kinsey Scale" of orientation.
    Which may be both helpful and a relief to those new to such desires.

    But before I get to that and also related to it:

    First, have to state where I'm at with being bi:

    Have had a few what I call "bi-light" experiences. A couple started in my teens (I'm 62, never married and due certain life challenges, i.e. a form of disability, while my youth was precocious, most of my adult life has been rather monk-ish - but definitely NOT a-sexual - lol).

    But here is the funny thing...

    I did NOT even consider myself potentially bi until around age 49 or so. At all. Looking back part of this awakening attraction was a kind of projection - my fascination and love for my own cock and groin lit the fire to want to touch and have sex with another man.

    And it started happening right in the middle of the first hetero relationship I had had in 11 years. Which really confused me. A lesbian friend set me straight (un-intended pun), and this where the Kinsey scale comes in.

    THE KINSEY SCALE OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR ATTRACTION

    Simple graph of it is this:

    100% Hetero <-----------------------------------------------------------------> 100%Gay/Lesbian

    She told me about it and put my confusion to rest as I looked into it.

    And since I'm a male, I'll use that gender in this 'splanation, but it obviously applies to women also.

    1. There are an infinite number of variations and gradiations between those two (in part artificial 100%) absolutes poles.

    For example: She said that there are plenty of hetero men who have bi fantasies but who never get to or want to act them out. Or there are men -- like me -- who are not romantically attracted to men, who just want sensual play and companionship, but the experience of what same-gender sex offers.

    2. Human sexuality is a fluid thing unique to each individual in terms of when urges or interest appear - subconsciously or consciously.

    That is, even though I was attracted to slim kids my age - there was feminine projection or attraction of sorts, I never thought of myself and didn't pursue kids or young men. It just happened a couple of times as jacking off, letting myself being touched by an older guy (and feeling both good and repelled by it) that sort of thing. that's it. So it was all subconscious.

    And that fluidity applies in terms when one starts to be conscious about it too - since subconscious tends to precede conscious awareness. As I said, it was only in the latter part of my life that the desire to see photos of cocks and male on male penetration, etc. started to awaken.

    Point being:

    There are no rules or shoulds about when or how our sexuality flows one way or the other, and that it can continue shifting over a life time or even a weekend. Each person's life story and life experiences are unique, no-one is a carbon copy of another.

    So if you are someone who is new to such attractions, whatever your gender, don't lock yourself down to some arbitrary "I am..." this or that.

    Whatever it is in the moment, that is what it is. It can shift in intensity or direction the next, and/or be a progressive growing leaning and thirst for same-gender experience. The step back from it for a while, only to come back stronger or different later.

    Put simply understanding the Kinsey Scale is one other version of what someone once called
    The 11th Commandment:

    "Thy should not should upon thyself."

    ____________

    For full disclosure:

    In terms of my own self-imposed or chosen limitations (one could call it a "should", but it's not) -- which have greatly reduced my opportunities, I don't deal with what I call cheating-on situations. Even though I have empathy for those in difficult marriages and relationships wherein they can't or don't feel safe to "come out".

    Why that line in the sand?

    Because many years ago, I made love to a married woman and I also have been cheated on. It really sucks and hurts.

    And I also saw the sense of threat to that girlfriend I mentioned above when I brought up to her my budding attraction to male cocks and wanting to experiment (I may have already had one experience not long before meeting here - I don't remember). We had a very no-games, no lying, no bullshit relationship.

    But with that kind of honesty comes the risk of someone getting hurt or feeling sidelined. This even though I didn't see it as an either/or thing - just another part of me.

    Not long after that we split amicably, though not not for that specific reason.

    This doesn't make me morally superior to others who do or behave otherwise. I go by live and let live. It's just that I can't deal with the guilt and sense of karma. My disability is a form anxiety disorder. So I need and want to feel happy, free, playful, and innocent when having sex.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails bisexual-logo-hi.jpg  
    Last edited by Intimate_Light; Jul 14, 2017 at 2:25 AM.
    ________________________________________

    "To Thy Own Self and Truth Be True:
    No Push, No Pull, No Bull." ~ Anonymous

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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by Intimate_Light View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	bisexual-logo-hi.jpg 
Views:	205 
Size:	39.3 KB 
ID:	47377



    This brings us to the famous "Kinsey Scale" of orientation.
    Which may be both helpful and a relief to those new to such desires.

    But before I get to that and also related to it:

    First, have to state where I'm at with being bi:

    Have had a few what I call "bi-light" experiences. A couple started in my teens (I'm 62, never married and due certain life challenges, i.e. a form of disability, while my youth was precocious, most of my adult life has been rather monk-ish - but definitely NOT a-sexual - lol).

    But here is the funny thing...

    I did NOT even consider myself potentially bi until around age 49 or so. At all. Looking back part of this awakening attraction was a kind of projection - my fascination and love for my own cock and groin lit the fire to want to touch and have sex with another man.

    And it started happening right in the middle of the first hetero relationship I had had in 11 years. Which really confused me. A lesbian friend set me straight (un-intended pun), and this where the Kinsey scale comes in.

    THE KINSEY SCALE OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR ATTRACTION

    Simple graph of it is this:

    100% Hetero <-----------------------------------------------------------------> 100%Gay/Lesbian

    She told me about it and put my confusion to rest as I looked into it.

    And since I'm a male, I'll use that gender in this 'splanation, but it obviously applies to women also.

    1. There are an infinite number of variations and gradiations between those two (in part artificial 100%) absolutes poles.

    For example: She said that there are plenty of hetero men who have bi fantasies but who never get to or want to act them out. Or there are men -- like me -- who are not romantically attracted to men, who just want sensual play and companionship, but the experience of what same-gender sex offers.

    2. Human sexuality is a fluid thing unique to each individual in terms of when urges or interest appear - subconsciously or consciously.

    That is, even though I was attracted to slim kids my age - there was feminine projection or attraction of sorts, I never thought of myself and didn't pursue kids or young men. It just happened a couple of times as jacking off, letting myself being touched by an older guy (and feeling both good and repelled by it) that sort of thing. that's it. So it was all subconscious.

    And that fluidity applies in terms when one starts to be conscious about it too - since subconscious tends to precede conscious awareness. As I said, it was only in the latter part of my life that the desire to see photos of cocks and male on male penetration, etc. started to awaken.

    Point being:

    There are no rules or shoulds about when or how our sexuality flows one way or the other, and that it can continue shifting over a life time or even a weekend. Each person's life story and life experiences are unique, no-one is a carbon copy of another.

    So if you are someone who is new to such attractions, whatever your gender, don't lock yourself down to some arbitrary "I am..." this or that.

    Whatever it is in the moment, that is what it is. It can shift in intensity or direction the next, and/or be a progressive growing leaning and thirst for same-gender experience. The step back from it for a while, only to come back stronger or different later.

    Put simply understanding the Kinsey Scale is one other version of what someone once called
    The 11th Commandment:

    "Thy should not should upon thyself."

    ____________

    For full disclosure:

    In terms of my own self-imposed or chosen limitations (one could call it a "should", but it's not) -- which have greatly reduced my opportunities, I don't deal with what I call cheating-on situations. Even though I have empathy for those in difficult marriages and relationships wherein they can't or don't feel safe to "come out".

    Why that line in the sand?

    Because many years ago, I made love to a married woman and I also have been cheated on. It really sucks and hurts.

    And I also saw the sense of threat to that girlfriend I mentioned above when I brought up to her my budding attraction to male cocks and wanting to experiment (I may have already had one experience not long before meeting here - I don't remember). We had a very no-games, no lying, no bullshit relationship.

    But with that kind of honesty comes the risk of someone getting hurt or feeling sidelined. This even though I didn't see it as an either/or thing - just another part of me.

    Not long after that we split amicably, though not not for that specific reason.

    This doesn't make me morally superior to others who do or behave otherwise. I go by live and let live. It's just that I can't deal with the guilt and sense of karma. My disability is a form anxiety disorder. So I need and want to feel happy, free, playful, and innocent when having sex.
    That's very good you are not into lying and cheating on a partner or spouse. A lot of the fools here believe that if you are bisexual that it's fine to cheat and lie to a partner or spouse.

  20. #50
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by pole_smoker View Post
    That's very good you are not into lying and cheating on a partner or spouse. A lot of the fools here believe that if you are bisexual that it's fine to cheat and lie to a partner or spouse.
    Thanks. Not a very popular stance or attitude these days and one that reduces my options a lot.

    But as ''splained more below, being self-righteous about it would be hypocritical.

    I confess cruising local Craigslist and I'm amazed at how common the words "discreet" and "can't host", etc. show up.

    That said, again...

    This is simply a needed personal choice due to life experience and basically having my ass kicked by karma swift and fast - back in 84' where I rather arrogantly (though well-meaning) made love with a married woman who had an abusive husband.

    That is, I played lover-healer. The naked "hero".

    It stemmed from my first rude awakening 8 years earlier while in design college when I was 23: by then 19 y.o. girlfriend figure model at the school who had been abduction-raped by her then "boyfriend" at age 16, and someone with one of those horror stories home life growing up.

    I was naive and had the hubris of youth that I could "save" her - be her knight in shining armor.

    I did convince her mother to finally take her to their gynecologist for I noticed a tear in her labia from a desperate coat-hanger self-abortion attempt. But in the end, she was just too wounded as a person and it was all a bit too much out of my league, and I had to let her go.

    Women and others have entrusted their stories of abuse and rape over my life time here and there.

    Point being: Good intentions -- like wanting to provide someone who was or is in a damaging or neglected relationship may be a natural instinct. So maybe in one way, that's why all this cheating-on happens, both as the givers and receivers of such comfort and pleasures.

    That's why I can't be self-righteous about it. I understand it. I empathize.

    And trust me, I did some stupid, stupid as well as dishonest things in my younger years (unrelated to sex also).

    BUT...

    Life just gave me some tough lessons in all of that, and that's why I have those standards. It now appears and is a form of moral compass, but actually just the result of freakin' "live and learn." Born of necessity, not virtue.

    It just feels clearer, simpler, and free of the fog of deception. Which makes it far easier to get a nice hard on and just enjoy.

    Now, all that said, aging monk-y man here better graduate from "bi-light" before he croaks - lol.
    There is something just so OMG inviting of seeing a nice ass with clean, nice cock and balls hanging down from it...

    (And I'm working on it - it's just not easy due to that one non-negotiable - and also that I'm not into airhead sex, over 60, skinny and not wealthy. But the main point for me is that I've got to at least really like and be really liked by the person or persons for it to work for me, and to work for my cock...)
    Last edited by Intimate_Light; Jul 14, 2017 at 2:38 PM.
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  21. #51
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    No regrets becoming bi, but regrets who I told..I got beat up 2 times by men I thought were trust worthy learned hard core lesson. Nope don't talk to either of these people one happen 40 years ago the other 28 years ago. I guess why other then here on this site I am closeted bi yet. I guess my part of the USA is not always accepting. So I build friendships before sex happens due to what has happen to me. I have met many wonderful people not gonna be negative about a thing just use more caution. I have small group who know my being bi all are miles from me now. Its part of joining here making new friendships and hoping for more.

  22. #52
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigredfish View Post
    No regrets becoming bi, but regrets who I told..I got beat up 2 times by men I thought were trust worthy learned hard core lesson. Nope don't talk to either of these people one happen 40 years ago the other 28 years ago. I guess why other then here on this site I am closeted bi yet. I guess my part of the USA is not always accepting. So I build friendships before sex happens due to what has happen to me. I have met many wonderful people not gonna be negative about a thing just use more caution. I have small group who know my being bi all are miles from me now. Its part of joining here making new friendships and hoping for more.
    Fortunately never had your "bashing" experiences. But like you, I'm also VERY cautious about who knows about my bi-leaning side. I have only 2 friends in real life, and several FB Friends. Half sister knows but due to her nun-ish life, sex is not something I talk to her about. No siblings and parents passed in the early 80s.

    Simply put, this is my personal business, no-one else's and so I set the boundaries on who knows or doesn't.

    And as you alluded to, the anonymity of online or at a distance connections for discussion, etc. makes it easier to open up. And feel safe doing so.
    Last edited by Intimate_Light; Jul 14, 2017 at 7:17 PM.
    ________________________________________

    "To Thy Own Self and Truth Be True:
    No Push, No Pull, No Bull." ~ Anonymous

  23. #53
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigredfish View Post
    No regrets becoming bi, but regrets who I told..I got beat up 2 times by men I thought were trust worthy learned hard core lesson. Nope don't talk to either of these people one happen 40 years ago the other 28 years ago. I guess why other then here on this site I am closeted bi yet. I guess my part of the USA is not always accepting. So I build friendships before sex happens due to what has happen to me. I have met many wonderful people not gonna be negative about a thing just use more caution. I have small group who know my being bi all are miles from me now. Its part of joining here making new friendships and hoping for more.
    so sorry to hear this noone should ever ever experiance this. hope those people open there eyes & realize how wrong they were.

  24. #54
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Zero regrets, I love being Bi.

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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    For years growing up I knew I was "different" and I struggled with not fitting in to what society considered "normal" and wanting acceptance from others but the fact of the matter is that being bisexual is a part of who I am, just like my eye color, skin color, hair color and many other attributes. I am very glad that I got to see marriage equality in my state in my lifetime. Whether your religion still says it's wrong or not, it just makes it easier to deal with when the law says that all people should have that right. By the way, there are some open/welcoming LGBT friendly denominations so if faith is important to you shop around.

    I stopped trying to be what I -thought- everyone else wanted to be and started being happy just being genuine to who I am. What you -think- people believe about you and what they actually believe are two different things that may surprise you.

    When I first learned I was different I would have given anything to be like everyone else, now? No way. Being bi has taught me empathy, it has taught me how to live with a little bit of uncomfortable adversity in my life and make the most of it. I have ALWAYS wanted to love people regardless of gender ever since I was small, it's a very natural thing - the only thing that makes it supposedly wrong is that society believes it's taboo.

    Real men and women aren't in magazines and on TV, real life was photoshopped out of the media, so don't judge yourself based on stereotypes, just be who you are. People routinely fail, people routinely hurt and people routinely experience joy - that's part of being human. Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you are loved and worthy. There's more value in learning from the experience than whether you actually succeed or fail.

    The happiest day of my life is when I stopped with all the labels and just decided to be me. Being who I am is good enough. There are a few places where I still don't feel comfortable being "out" but for the most part I haven't looked back.

    I also agree that friendships first are very important, for a lot of different reasons. Not everyone likes that and it's cool, but that's what works best for me.
    Last edited by elian; Jul 19, 2017 at 10:29 PM.

  26. #56
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by elian View Post
    For years growing up I knew I was "different" and I struggled with not fitting in to what society considered "normal" and wanting acceptance from others but the fact of the matter is that being bisexual is a part of who I am, just like my eye color, skin color, hair color and many other attributes. I am very glad that I got to see marriage equality in my state in my lifetime. Whether your religion still says it's wrong or not, it just makes it easier to deal with when the law says that all people should have that right. By the way, there are some open/welcoming LGBT friendly denominations so if faith is important to you shop around.

    I stopped trying to be what I -thought- everyone else wanted to be and started being happy just being genuine to who I am. What you -think- people believe about you and what they actually believe are two different things that may surprise you.

    When I first learned I was different I would have given anything to be like everyone else, now? No way. Being bi has taught me empathy, it has taught me how to live with a little bit of uncomfortable adversity in my life and make the most of it. I have ALWAYS wanted to love people regardless of gender ever since I was small, it's a very natural thing - the only thing that makes it supposedly wrong is that society believes it's taboo.

    Real men and women aren't in magazines and on TV, real life was photoshopped out of the media, so don't judge yourself based on stereotypes, just be who you are. People routinely fail, people routinely hurt and people routinely experience joy - that's part of being human. Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you are loved and worthy. There's more value in learning from the experience than whether you actually succeed or fail.

    The happiest day of my life is when I stopped with all the labels and just decided to be me. Being who I am is good enough. There are a few places where I still don't feel comfortable being "out" but for the most part I haven't looked back.

    I also agree that friendships first are very important, for a lot of different reasons. Not everyone likes that and it's cool, but that's what works best for me.
    Well put and honest. As well as honoring the humanity -- and its imperfections -- that we all have. And that true sex has to have some foundation of actually liking and caring (even in an FWB way) about the other person, not just oneself. Craigslist is so full of crass, me-me-me airhead stuff that makes it too much of a sewer for me.

    And yet... I still check int out in hopes of finding that one decent actually-a-human-being in the midst of the manure. I live on a fixed Social Security and disability income, so unlike many I can't afford to travel or "buy sex" (even if I wanted to, which I don't).

    Have had few connections made there, but I also know the warning signs that the person isn't who they say they are, etc.

    Besides, as Johnny Depp once said in a Charlie Rose interview in terms of his long friendship with Marlon Brando, one of the things he learned from his friend and mentor that he felt he could apply in his own younger life.... "The older people get, the less they give a shit about what others think about them." Probably didn't say shit on CR, but that's what he mean.

    Being 62, that's unfolding for me even though I still have the age-related insecurities of "Yeah, I'm getting uglier by the day..." kind of stuff - particularly from the neck up - lol. Which is weird for up to age 50, I never really thought about my looks one way or another. But once I tripped over the 5-0, something happened.

    Well, I have to get over it or integrate it.
    Gotta get and be real.
    Last edited by Intimate_Light; Jul 19, 2017 at 11:27 PM.
    ________________________________________

    "To Thy Own Self and Truth Be True:
    No Push, No Pull, No Bull." ~ Anonymous

  27. #57
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    I deeply regret never experimenting before getting married.

  28. #58

    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by mm1084 View Post
    I deeply regret never experimenting before getting married.
    You are not alone, I have meet many who had shared the same words!
    Understand, “Life” is, but a short Journey, a person must try, to experience and enjoy any, and all, of various sexual opportunities that they can, while they are able to! The lasting memories can be great!

  29. #59
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by nashs.bath View Post
    Zero regrets, I love being Bi.
    Sounds good to me !

  30. #60
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    Re: regrets about trying bi?

    No regrets. Just wish I had been open about it earlier. Love being a bottom boy.

 

 

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