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  1. #1
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    how do women see bisexual men?

    i'm beginning to realize how much i like bisexual women! most guys know, the idea of 2 women being togather is hott! but i'm not talking about just that. i'm beginning to realize there's a certain openess in women who are open to sexual pleasure outside of guys. it's like they are more aware of sexuality in general & there own sexuality, able to find more opportunities for pleasure for themselves & whoever there with. makes them more well rounded sexually. that's part of my attraction to guys actually, a search for that openess. so my question is, do women see that in bi guys & do they appreciate that? i realize not many women are on this website so it's probably not the best place to ask but figured, doesn't hurt to ask right? maybe some guys have something to say about that too, either about bi men or bi women.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Quote Originally Posted by sysper View Post
    i'm beginning to realize how much i like bisexual women! most guys know, the idea of 2 women being togather is hott! but i'm not talking about just that. i'm beginning to realize there's a certain openess in women who are open to sexual pleasure outside of guys. it's like they are more aware of sexuality in general & there own sexuality, able to find more opportunities for pleasure for themselves & whoever there with. makes them more well rounded sexually. that's part of my attraction to guys actually, a search for that openess. so my question is, do women see that in bi guys & do they appreciate that? i realize not many women are on this website so it's probably not the best place to ask but figured, doesn't hurt to ask right? maybe some guys have something to say about that too, either about bi men or bi women.
    Those are really bad stereotypes about women in general, women's sexuality, and bisexual women. Some women like us bisexual men, and others do not. Just come out to whoever you are dating be it a woman or a man and it's no big deal. If they do not want you because you are bisexual it is their loss.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    I have been fortunate that I have dated 7 or 8 women that were very accepting of me being Bisexual. Two women from this group were also very Bi-curious. I had met these women from when I was involved in the S&M community, so they were more accepting, than the normal population.


    Another woman that I dated, when I told her that I was Bisexual, she gave me kind of a sour look. When I asked her if this was a problem, her reply was, "well it isn't at the moment."

    Mileage may vary.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    mileage may vary yes i understand. i guess people into s&m are more tolerant?

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    I would have to say that people in the kink community are more tolerant and accepting of others, as this has been MY experience from the years that I was involved in it, and the different people that I met, along the way.
    Quote Originally Posted by sysper View Post
    mileage may vary yes i understand. i guess people into s&m are more tolerant?

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    My current wife is OK with it, she found gay porn in my house before we were married. I told her then I was BI. To this day we enjoy a great sex life, including me using buttplugs and dildos in me during sex. I wear pantyhose and shorts around the house and she thinks I am cute. Have yet to talk her into a 3some, but we are talking about it.

    I also employ a lesbian and she came out to me one day, then I said that is great I am BI. We talk about things I would never talk about with anybody. Unfortunatley she is lesbian only.

    My first wife and I were playing one night and I asked her to use a dildo on me. She called me a fag and was discussed by the thought. Of course I never mentioned it again. When we would be out in public and she would see a gay man she would ask if I wanted him, I would say nothing. Later I found out she is bi polar, which may explain her actions.

    In my life those are the only 3 woman who know I am BI, 2 are happy for me and the other one who cares.

  7. #7
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Complex issue... as a gay woman whose roots are in the bisexual community and considered myself bisexual for 13 or 14 years I have nothing but liking and respect for men as a group of human beings.. but as with any group of human beings there will be exceptions. I do not for instance, like very much every lesbian I have ever come into contact with or every str8 person.

    I never knowingly had sex with a bi man in the days when I slept with men, but then I never asked and the admission of bisexuality was never offered. However as I had a goodly amount of sex with men I would be surprised if one or 2 were not. Not that the knowledge of sexuality would have put me off. It is and always has been the person which is most important to me and how attractive I find them as well as how turned on I was at the time. Such criteria did not always guarantee having sex or a relationship with Mr or Ms perfect.. sometimes they were much less than perfect but then aren't we all?

    Women have the same suspicions of bisexuality as the rest of the population.. there are variations dependant on country, ethnicity, religion and culture but always exceptions too... women who don't care about a persons sexuality. Suspicion of bisexuality by other sexualities is not unknown as every bi person knows and every str8 or gay should own up to even if they personally have no anti bisexual prejudice or intolerance. Even some women who are themselves bisexual run a mile if confronted with the prospect of sex with a bisexual man.. one or two friends of mine do.. many bisexual men do the same for they are afraid of what they are or are more likely to keep such encounters secret. Awful thing denial.

    It is a funny old world isn't it? The opposite happens in a sense in respect of bisexual women (and even gay women to a large degree). People in the main are far more accepting of female bisexuality... more accurately because men are, society is.. western society at least and even more so non western society. Prejudice and intolerance of female bisexuality and homosexuality exist but nowhere near to the same degree as in respect of the male equivalents except possibly in non western countries.. Indeed, the conquest of a non str8 woman is a much prized objective among str8 men..

    ... In a few lines no1 can explain the whys and wherefores of women and bi men.. I merely threw atya a few thoughts of me own based on me own experience and the world as I see it.. Complex issue just like every other issue involving human relationships and sexuality.
    Last edited by darkeyes; May 8, 2017 at 7:46 AM.
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Good points.

    I think what you see in more acceptability of female bisexuality than in male bisexuality is rooted in societal "norms". Whether we like it or not, men have always been viewed as the stronger, smarter, dominant sex while females have always been viewed as weaker and submissive. Now maybe in the past decades things have *slowly* changed but the ideas remain.

    So a guy being bisexual is viewed (subconsciously) as "giving something up"... his dominance, strength or masculinity. While a female being bisexual appears to gain something. I suppose in another 50 years this will hopefully disappear but that's my take on what it is like today.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    I think that really depends on the woman.

    My last girlfriend and I were watching an adult movie once. The two girls in the movie starting going at while the guys watched and cheered.

    She seemed quite amused at the reaction of the guys as they watched the girls. She asked "Do all guys love watching two women go at it?" Without hesitation, I said "Yes!".

    When I asked if women enjoyed watching two men, she said while some women might, neither she nor any of her friends did...

  10. #10
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    I've been a bisexual swinger for most of my life. My 1st wife really got off watching me with other men as much as I enjoyed watching her be a total slut with other men. Only once or twice out of the couple of dozen times we had 4somes with other mf couples did we meet a couple whose female half was cool with her man playing with me. This was despite the fact that most of the female halves were bi or bi friendly and really got off on girl-on-girl action with my wife. As a solo bi swinger for the last 10 years, I have met only two couples whose female halves enjoyed watching or joining in guy-on-guy play. I've dated a number of women and been upfront with them that I'm bisexual and almost all of them never wanted to see me again after I told them. It is just extremely rare to meet a woman who accepts and embraces and encourages mm sex. Women are just not wired that way. My 1st wife was an exception, a total freak who loved everything about sex. And like me, she enjoyed experiencing it with a variety of men and women.

    I've asked a few platonic women friends & confidantes who know I'm bi why it is that women reject and fear bisexual men. One of them said simply that women are by nature possessive and territorial. They will not tolerate their men desiring/fantasizing about or seeing other women, much less desiring/fantasizing about or seeing other men. Another said that to know or even suspect that the cock she's sucking or which is pounding her pussy has been up a man's ass before is a total gross-out. Another said that bisexual men are more likely to not practice safe sex with other men (or women) and she would not ever take the risk of having sex with a bi man. Still another one said that no man who enjoys sex with other men is a truly masculine man and, to her, bisexual means gay even if a guy loves sex with women too.

  11. #11
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    sure is complex i didn't mean to say it wasn't. i'm glad female bisexuality is accepted as much as it is not less, but i do wish male bisexuality was accepted as much too. like i said i think bi women tend to be more well rounded sexually because they draw on there attraction to both sexes, the same equally applies to bisexual men. should be encouraged in both sexes, well at least should let bi people be bi.
    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    Complex issue... as a gay woman whose roots are in the bisexual community and considered myself bisexual for 13 or 14 years I have nothing but liking and respect for men as a group of human beings.. but as with any group of human beings there will be exceptions. I do not for instance, like very much every lesbian I have ever come into contact with or every str8 person.

    I never knowingly had sex with a bi man in the days when I slept with men, but then I never asked and the admission of bisexuality was never offered. However as I had a goodly amount of sex with men I would be surprised if one or 2 were not. Not that the knowledge of sexuality would have put me off. It is and always has been the person which is most important to me and how attractive I find them as well as how turned on I was at the time. Such criteria did not always guarantee having sex or a relationship with Mr or Ms perfect.. sometimes they were much less than perfect but then aren't we all?

    Women have the same suspicions of bisexuality as the rest of the population.. there are variations dependant on country, ethnicity, religion and culture but always exceptions too... women who don't care about a persons sexuality. Suspicion of bisexuality by other sexualities is not unknown as every bi person knows and every str8 or gay should own up to even if they personally have no anti bisexual prejudice or intolerance. Even some women who are themselves bisexual run a mile if confronted with the prospect of sex with a bisexual man.. one or two friends of mine do.. many bisexual men do the same for they are afraid of what they are or are more likely to keep such encounters secret. Awful thing denial.

    It is a funny old world isn't it? The opposite happens in a sense in respect of bisexual women (and even gay women to a large degree). People in the main are far more accepting of female bisexuality... more accurately because men are, society is.. western society at least and even more so non western society. Prejudice and intolerance of female bisexuality and homosexuality exist but nowhere near to the same degree as in respect of the male equivalents except possibly in non western countries.. Indeed, the conquest of a non str8 woman is a much prized objective among str8 men..

    ... In a few lines no1 can explain the whys and wherefores of women and bi men.. I merely threw atya a few thoughts of me own based on me own experience and the world as I see it.. Complex issue just like every other issue involving human relationships and sexuality.

  12. #12
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    it's a shame it is that way. sex should be something 2 people (or more do for fun & to enjoy each other, not determine who is weaker. i hope it changes in 50 years too, actually sooner. personally i think u can gain something if ur open to swinging both ways whatever ur sex. i'm not saying u won't if ur not. i'm also not saying im' bi. keep in mind i'm still questioning my attraction to the same sex. but at least i dare to do so. (shouldn't really be a dare just my right to know who i am & accept it)
    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher South View Post
    Good points.

    I think what you see in more acceptability of female bisexuality than in male bisexuality is rooted in societal "norms". Whether we like it or not, men have always been viewed as the stronger, smarter, dominant sex while females have always been viewed as weaker and submissive. Now maybe in the past decades things have *slowly* changed but the ideas remain.

    So a guy being bisexual is viewed (subconsciously) as "giving something up"... his dominance, strength or masculinity. While a female being bisexual appears to gain something. I suppose in another 50 years this will hopefully disappear but that's my take on what it is like today.

  13. #13
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    i wonder if more women are turned on by the thought of 2 guys going at it than they admit it. it's usually more acceptable for guys to be freer sexually, as long as male homosexuality isn't a part of it. so that's why most guys know the pleasure of experiancing 2 women have fun with each other. the idea is a bit kinky, that's why it's so hot! plus it doesn't involve male homosexuality so it's safe for str8 guys to enjoy it lol. 2 guys togather is just as kinky at least from the perspective of the women. i wish more women felt free to enjoy that too. my gut feeling is, not many more women would admit to it if they just felt encouraged to be honest with there feelings. but i'm sure at least a few more would.
    Quote Originally Posted by whistle1 View Post
    I think that really depends on the woman.

    My last girlfriend and I were watching an adult movie once. The two girls in the movie starting going at while the guys watched and cheered.

    She seemed quite amused at the reaction of the guys as they watched the girls. She asked "Do all guys love watching two women go at it?" Without hesitation, I said "Yes!".

    When I asked if women enjoyed watching two men, she said while some women might, neither she nor any of her friends did...

  14. #14
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    even though i said before i think there are some women who would find they like the the thought of 2 guys going at it if they were honest with themselves. i accept alot just do not. that's fine there are somethings sexually i don't really care for either, i guess everybody does. but u can still respect other people like things u don't. it's too bad women can be homophobic just like men. male homophobic in this case. i can accept women are by nature possesive & territorial. but my question is, can't men also be as possesive & territorial? personally i would feel a little more secure if i was with a women & she had something with another women than another man. maybe a women like that just needs attention from both sexes. as a man i wouldn't be able to give to her what a women could. it kinda pisses me off, no it really pisses me off a women would say a guy who likes guys is not masculine. i would not wanna be with someone who thought that. even if i was 100% sure i was 100% str8. the other women seem to have valid points they might have a point statistically. but i think there concerns are more from fear & hate than statistics. why wouldn't the 1 women be concerned if the cock she was having was in another pussy? and does the other women have proof bi men are less likely to not practice safe sex? sorry all of this sounds like im' criticizing u i'm not. if anything i'm criticizing women who are narrowminded. which i know u are not happy u at least had a wife who embraced alot sexuality had to offer. again i'm not critcizing people's tastes or desires. u like what u like. but u can still be respectfull & reasonable.
    Quote Originally Posted by cuttin2dachase View Post
    I've been a bisexual swinger for most of my life. My 1st wife really got off watching me with other men as much as I enjoyed watching her be a total slut with other men. Only once or twice out of the couple of dozen times we had 4somes with other mf couples did we meet a couple whose female half was cool with her man playing with me. This was despite the fact that most of the female halves were bi or bi friendly and really got off on girl-on-girl action with my wife. As a solo bi swinger for the last 10 years, I have met only two couples whose female halves enjoyed watching or joining in guy-on-guy play. I've dated a number of women and been upfront with them that I'm bisexual and almost all of them never wanted to see me again after I told them. It is just extremely rare to meet a woman who accepts and embraces and encourages mm sex. Women are just not wired that way. My 1st wife was an exception, a total freak who loved everything about sex. And like me, she enjoyed experiencing it with a variety of men and women.

    I've asked a few platonic women friends & confidantes who know I'm bi why it is that women reject and fear bisexual men. One of them said simply that women are by nature possessive and territorial. They will not tolerate their men desiring/fantasizing about or seeing other women, much less desiring/fantasizing about or seeing other men. Another said that to know or even suspect that the cock she's sucking or which is pounding her pussy has been up a man's ass before is a total gross-out. Another said that bisexual men are more likely to not practice safe sex with other men (or women) and she would not ever take the risk of having sex with a bi man. Still another one said that no man who enjoys sex with other men is a truly masculine man and, to her, bisexual means gay even if a guy loves sex with women too.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    wow thanks so much for everyone writing about this! gave me alot to think about. i really hope we can continue this conversation. i enjoy discussing sexuality cause i wanna know all i can learn about it.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    From my experience, from the women I have spoken to...and/or seen in action, a lot of women are NOT into seeing two men having sex, irregardless of her own sexuality. Usually in a threesome or more, the woman wants most of the attention on her. However, I know of and seen a rare few exceptions to this. I know a few women who are not repulsed by man on man play....one or two really get off on it (even hearing stories!)...but yet she won't go out of her way to seek it out. A (straight or bisexual) woman SAYING she is cool with her man sleeping with other men (and/or TS folk) is one thing. Until she actually watches you and another man and/or TS have actual sex with her in the room, complete with moans, lube, condoms and orgasms wherever (and/or participates herself), all she is doing is speculating...or lying to herself...and/or you. Especially if she is bi and double so IF she has a problem with you watching her with another woman. Seen that "double standard" first and second-hand. Not good.

  17. #17

    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Well I will just wade into the middle of this one. My wife LOVES to see me with other men. The truth is even though I know I had some bi tendencies well before, when she finally admitted that seeing me with another guy would turn her on, that was when I really began to explore with other guys. So I guess I would say that some women really get off on the whole idea of watching, encouraging -- even "instructing" guys as the get it on. She is very happy that she brought out my bi tendencies.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    I dated a woman, and after a few dates, I told her that I was Bi...She took a step back, put her hand on her hip, smiled and said "that is just amazing...You are so in touch with your body, and your desires, and you've acted on them to satisfy your needs, ect."....She then said that she was very Bi-curious, and in college she had a crush on a roommate, but never had the courage to even talk to her.

    She also said that due to her work (she was a Chef) she never had the time or energy to pursue her curiosity.

  19. #19

    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Quote Originally Posted by csreef View Post
    I dated a woman, and after a few dates, I told her that I was Bi...She took a step back, put her hand on her hip, smiled and said "that is just amazing...You are so in touch with your body, and your desires, and you've acted on them to satisfy your needs, ect."....She then said that she was very Bi-curious, and in college she had a crush on a roommate, but never had the courage to even talk to her.

    She also said that due to her work (she was a Chef) she never had the time or energy to pursue her curiosity.
    Sounds like she was a keeper!

    I suspect that under my wife's countless crushing layers of social repression (her mother was right out of Hitchcock Catholic horror story central casting) she might feel the same. I think she is bisexual, and she has admitted as much on an intellectual level. I've told her that I have "strong bi tendencies" - again on an intellectual level. Whether that will ever seep through to the real person trapped inside her remains an unknown. I guess I'm patient to the point of death. But the possibility does exist.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Black Knights View Post
    From my experience, from the women I have spoken to...and/or seen in action, a lot of women are NOT into seeing two men having sex, irregardless of her own sexuality. Usually in a threesome or more, the woman wants most of the attention on her. However, I know of and seen a rare few exceptions to this. I know a few women who are not repulsed by man on man play....one or two really get off on it (even hearing stories!)...but yet she won't go out of her way to seek it out. A (straight or bisexual) woman SAYING she is cool with her man sleeping with other men (and/or TS folk) is one thing. Until she actually watches you and another man and/or TS have actual sex with her in the room, complete with moans, lube, condoms and orgasms wherever (and/or participates herself), all she is doing is speculating...or lying to herself...and/or you. Especially if she is bi and double so IF she has a problem with you watching her with another woman. Seen that "double standard" first and second-hand. Not good.
    all good points. so in ur experiance the women's orientation doesn't really have anything to do with how she will view the idea of 2 guys togather. i would think a bisexual women would have an appreciation for bisexuality no matter the gender. but i wouldn't necesarily be offended if i had a women & she didn't wanna let me watch her with another women. the way i see it, it might be something she wants to do on her own. besides i think my being there, having a guy there would spoil the beauty of 2 women togather, which i think is the best sex that could ever be. of course i'm not saying i would turn down the offer to watch & eventually join in but at the same time i would wanna know i would have the right to go off with a guy alone for the nite. but my original question wasn't so much do women get off on watching 2 guys do it, more like what do women think of men who are open enough sexually, there willing to have gay sex? do they appreciate that openess, do they see a different approach of these guys towards sexuality?

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    thanks for jumping in on top of ur wlfe enjoying the view, it also sounds like she might of picked up on ur bi tendencies & decided this is something u should explore. amirite?
    Quote Originally Posted by LouisvilleBi View Post
    Well I will just wade into the middle of this one. My wife LOVES to see me with other men. The truth is even though I know I had some bi tendencies well before, when she finally admitted that seeing me with another guy would turn her on, that was when I really began to explore with other guys. So I guess I would say that some women really get off on the whole idea of watching, encouraging -- even "instructing" guys as the get it on. She is very happy that she brought out my bi tendencies.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    this is exactly the kinda attitude i'm looking for in a women. one who respects & appreciates a broad approach to sexuality. one who could appreciate bisexuality on that level. i just hope this women finally got the chance to persue her curiosity. sounds like something she should do.
    Quote Originally Posted by csreef View Post
    I dated a woman, and after a few dates, I told her that I was Bi...She took a step back, put her hand on her hip, smiled and said "that is just amazing...You are so in touch with your body, and your desires, and you've acted on them to satisfy your needs, ect."....She then said that she was very Bi-curious, and in college she had a crush on a roommate, but never had the courage to even talk to her.

    She also said that due to her work (she was a Chef) she never had the time or energy to pursue her curiosity.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    it's the intellectual level of bisexuality i'm interested in exploring right now in my life. that was the jist of my original question. like what more ru aware of if ur open to swing both ways? & do women appreciate that about men like i appreciate that about women? i hope ur wife eventually finds the encouragement to break out of her repression & explore this very real side of her. i grew up catholic too maybe not quite the same repressive experiance ur wife had but homosexuality has allways been seen as bad. so i have struggled with admitting certain things to myself. but i know rationally i'm totally fine. it's natural & healthy for me to be curious & to wanna explore. also to allow myself to enjoy it if it turns out that way. it's alot to undo but like u said the possiblity does exist. i hope u can gently encourage that.
    Quote Originally Posted by thirstyfellow View Post
    Sounds like she was a keeper!

    I suspect that under my wife's countless crushing layers of social repression (her mother was right out of Hitchcock Catholic horror story central casting) she might feel the same. I think she is bisexual, and she has admitted as much on an intellectual level. I've told her that I have "strong bi tendencies" - again on an intellectual level. Whether that will ever seep through to the real person trapped inside her remains an unknown. I guess I'm patient to the point of death. But the possibility does exist.

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Can someone explain to me what the "Intellectual level of Bisexuality'' is ?

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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    hmmmmmmm......kinda hard to describe. maybe appreciation of bisexuality in theory, what u think of & what ur aware of when u experiance bisexuality. what things u see which u wouldn't otherwise. maybe even how it affects other parts of ur life. i guess that's a start.
    Quote Originally Posted by csreef View Post
    Can someone explain to me what the "Intellectual level of Bisexuality'' is ?

  26. #26

    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Quote Originally Posted by csreef View Post
    Can someone explain to me what the "Intellectual level of Bisexuality'' is ?
    Sure. It's when you have one of those rare discussions with your spouse in which you reveal bits of yourself you never told her in all the years you've been together, and because it's a conversation she seems open and accepting of it. Then you take the next step, like dipping your toe in the water to see if it's wet. You ask her if she'd like to play with another woman and you get the deer in the headlights look from her. From there things go downhill.

  27. #27
    Senior Member
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    I once dated a married couple (M/F) . The wife told me that it was hot to see her husband making love with another man. She did not like to see him kissing other men...

    At an LGBT center was having a dance that started with a community dinner. I was sitting next to a card carrying, Gold Star Lesbian. When she asked me how long I was Gay, I replied that I was Bisexual. Her very blustery response to me was, "You are really Gay, and that you are just deluding yourself, ect" .

    I think it all depends on the woman you meet, and how open minded they are ... Mileage will vary.

  28. #28
    Some Kind of Super Member
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    <<<<< gay woman... knows bisexuality is a reality therefore bisexuals do exist.. had a ball as a bisexual woman for a long time and have many fond not to say exciting memories of same. In end tho.. wot does it matter wot folk callya? We all know who and wot we fancy and are prepared to have naughties wiv.. it is wot we think, want and do that counts!
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  29. #29

    Thumbs up Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    In end tho.. wot does it matter wot folk callya? We all know who and wot we fancy and are prepared to have naughties wiv.. it is wot we think, want and do that counts!
    Bingo!

    The sooner we all can get on board with this approach, the happier everyone will be.

  30. #30
    Unofficial Community Leader
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    Re: how do women see bisexual men?

    i think so, the more names there are the more people seem to judge. just have sex with the willing & forget the rest! wish more people were onboard.
    Quote Originally Posted by thirstyfellow View Post
    Bingo!

    The sooner we all can get on board with this approach, the happier everyone will be.

 

 

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