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  1. #1

    Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I am a 70 year old male, married for 49 years. About 3 years ago I started getting bisexual feelings. They were random in the beginning ranging from days apart to weeks and sometimes longer. I now know that I am a bonified bisexual. I have cheated on my wife with men and she found out and is very hurt and destroyed by my actions. She says she still loves me with all her heart and we want to make our marriage work. We are going to counseling and I intend to stay monomamus with her.

    I would like to hear from others, both male and female who have gone through this same situation at a later age in life and how you are handeling it. I appreciate any inputs and have a great day.

  2. #2

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    i can't give advise just wish u & ur wife goodluck

  3. #3

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Can't give you any advice as I would surely be a DIVORCED BI if my wife learned of my leanings

  4. #4

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabamabi View Post
    I am a 70 year old male, married for 49 years. About 3 years ago I started getting bisexual feelings. They were random in the beginning ranging from days apart to weeks and sometimes longer. I now know that I am a bonified bisexual. I have cheated on my wife with men and she found out and is very hurt and destroyed by my actions. She says she still loves me with all her heart and we want to make our marriage work. We are going to counseling and I intend to stay monomamus with her.

    I would like to hear from others, both male and female who have gone through this same situation at a later age in life and how you are handeling it. I appreciate any inputs and have a great day.
    Hi, regarding your post, send me a private message.
    I have a few things to share.

  5. #5

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Quote Originally Posted by Fzmr9t View Post
    Can't give you any advice as I would surely be a DIVORCED BI if my wife learned of my leanings
    Then you should probably tell her and just accept what comes. Lying to someone like because you're too much of a coward to lay in the bed you made is despicable. Shame on you.

  6. #6

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I am not married, so I can't offer any advice from that perspective. I only started having bi thoughts later in life too (50s). I have not acted on them - for various reasons. As far as your marriage goes, it is a good thing that you are going to counseling. Good luck.

  7. #7

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I agree with cbb83; single (if that happens) is better than living a lie and sneaking around.

  8. #8

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Tried responding to this yesterday, but my comment was lost.

    I'm 65, married for 45 years -- very similar to your situation. About 5 years ago, as an offshoot of our experimenting in the swinging community, I began to develop an interest in M-M contact. It happened when we were in an MFM threesome, and I was standing naked next to a man who was kneeling at the foot of my bed with his head in between my wife's spread legs. He 'came up for air', and turned his head towards me, taking my cock into his mouth. It came as a total surprise to me, but I wasn't at all repulsed by it. Hell, it feels good to have your cock sucked! Doesn't matter if the mouth is male or female!

    I didn't reciprocate, but I did later touch his cock, guiding it into my wife's waiting, wet pussy. But it planted a seed that I nurtured, and over the course of the next several encounters, I got my first brief taste of another man, and eventually had an extended bit of play, with the two of us men sucking each other to our hearts' content. On the way home from that experience, I spoke enthusiastically about how much I enjoyed sucking him, and said 'I don't see how anyone could NOT like sucking dick!'

    My wife didn't have much to say that night, but the next day, she said "I guess you can officially consider yourself bisexual now." Yup, no doubt about it. I am bisexual and I both accept it and embrace it!We have stopped swinging, and I don't cheat on her. I have mentioned to her a couple of times that I would like to have more adventures with men, and even that I think it's inevitable that I will want their cocks in my ass. Her exact words, on both occasions, were: "You could do that." She enjoys anal sex and understands why I think I would enjoy it. A dildo won't do - I want a real cock to suck and a real cock in my ass.

    I've been given a 'pass' and feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I'm still very careful about considering her feelings, but I am beginning to seek out someone to play with in the near future.

    This just goes to show that it can work out in some cases, but your mileage obviously may vary...

  9. #9

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    silky, that is almost exactly the way I/we started. The only difference is that she told me she wanted to see me suck cock. The first bi guy that came into our MFM play, after that, she said that this was my chance. She came as soon as his cock was in my mouth. And now I'm allowed to go out solo as well.
    We're lucky SOBs ain't we?

  10. #10

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    AlabamaBi -
    You are not alone, and neither is your wife. I have been a member of several support groups, for men, for women (ok, I just know of that one), and for both. All the groups I list here are supportive either of open or monogamous people in Mixed Orientation Marriages (MOMs). Finding supportive acceptance is key to the long term. I'm attending my first HOW gathereing next weekend, and very excited about it. I have been growing with my own bisexuality for the last 4 years after 10 previous years of stagnation and suppression.
    Being open and honest about this is sometimes difficult, but always an opprotunity for growth as an individual as well as a couple.
    Al


    ​HUGS_Couples2: A group focused on both halves of couples with a mix of orientations
    http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/HUGS_Couples2/info


    MMOMW - Making Mixed Orientation Marraiges Work: Either or both of a couple are welcome in this group. Sometimes seems fiilled with more of one side of the story than the other, but it is really open to allow us to see all views.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/MMOMW/info


    Alternate Path: This is for the straight women. They need to find others (just as we do) to talk with that makes this just a *little* bit more normal.
    http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/alternatepath/info


    There is also a group for men only, Husbands Out to Wives (HOW) hosted on queernet.org.
    http://www.husbands-out-to-wives.org...join-the-list/

    A couple of web sites...
    http://mixedorientation.com/introduction.html
    Is a set of writings from a member of some of the above sites. Great starter, and was once planned as a book.

    http://alternatepaths.net/ is a resource site created by some of the members of the yahoo group above with a similar name.

  11. #11

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedInSeattle View Post
    The only difference is that she told me she wanted to see me suck cock. <snip>
    We're lucky SOBs ain't we?
    I'm thinking that a large percentage of the married men on this site would love to hear those words spoken -- I know I would! My wife has seen me suck cock and play a little, but it didn't appear to do much for her. She mostly sat by and watched. (which is cool, in itself!) But, having given me permission to find a special friend, how to go about meeting is a sensitive issue. Does she want to know when I do? Basically, yes. Does she want to be present when we play? Not really. If we play at our house, she will arrange to be away for the duration. How does she feel about me wanting to be with a man, sexually? A little curious, at best.

    While this is essentially liberating, it does make me a little hesitant to get started, though I desperately want to.

    Yes, we are lucky SOBs!!!!

  12. #12

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    CurEUs_Male,

    Interesting links -- thanks for posting them!

  13. #13

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I can definitely relate to the finding out alot later in life. I've been married for about 8 years and it was only 3 years into the marriage that I found and came to terms with who I am. It's been a weird road but I'm far more accepting of my skin and who I am.

  14. #14

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I was lucky to have been coaxed into trying mm oral sex by my 1st hotwife when we swung with couples and other men. She was a total sexual freak and I wish I could meet a woman now who is only half as kinky and bi-friendly LOL. I was 32 when I discovered and embraced my bisexuality, so that's relatively early in life. As another poster said, it was quite liberating and exciting...and it still is for me. I just turned 63, so next year on my 64th b'day I will have been bi for half of my life !

  15. #15

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I've said this in a previous post, maybe you need to find an LGBT Center near you, and find out if they have a Bisexual Support group, and go and sit in on a few sessions. Hopefully this will help.

    A.

  16. #16

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    To Alabamabi----you are not crazy and it is, from my experience, not at all uncommon that we find as we age---we have the desire to not be limited to being only with those of the opposite gender, but the same as our own, at least to some degree and in one way or another.

    The longer you go and if this site continues for awhile longer----you will find that what I say is true--too bad the chat no longer seems to work and you can have real time conversations with others on the site.

    But anyhow---welcome Bamabi.

  17. #17

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Late this this thread but found myself nodding in agreement as most of the comments parallel my experiences -- which, I think, are typical for middle-aged guys. Had some male to male experiences as a teen and in college, then started having more success with women. Still had the bi urge through two marriages, but didn't act on it -- partly out of laziness, partly out of fear. Then I hit my 50s, divorced and still attracted to women but free to act on my m2m urges. What I've found in the past six or seven years is that there are a helluva lot of guys out there -- married, divorced and single -- who like sex with men and women. And, there's this -- as I get older, I find women look right past me whereas I still seem to strike a spark with guys. Perhaps I'm being lazy again in a different way, but I like sex with guys and find it to be a lot more hassle free than with women. I prefer married or divorced guys because they tend to be sane and discreet and safe. But that's not set in stone -- well, the safe, sane and discreet part is, but not the preference. I also like bearish guys -- masculine and mature, like myself. Again, not set in stone, but a definite preference.

  18. #18

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    @InkDoc At age 63, I get glances and smiles and come hither looks from lots of women in public when I'm at the pharmacy or grocery store or eating out alone or having a drink and playing trivia at nearby taverns etc. Trouble is, 99% of them are 60-70 or over and are not very physically attractive LOL I make it a point, however, to nod or make eye contact or say hi to the other 1% of older women (wedding ring or not) who I find attractive. I only rarely get lucky because women near my age and in my generation just don't want to be hit on or let themselves get picked up even though they might fantasize about it at home. I don't rue the fact that I rarely ever have a much younger (under age 45 for me) woman so much as give me a glance or flirt with me... because it's natural for younger women to be attracted to guys near their age and not guys who could be their father LOL.

    But it seems that for me and other bi married or divorced men of my age (plus or minus 10 years), being horny male sluts well into our golden years is natural. It's not really out of laziness that we seek and "settle" for sex with men. We all would like a hot, kinky sexy wife or gf who could match our libidos and want to enthusiastically fuck us and suck us and do kinky things with us and for us. It's out of expediency that we seek men for sex because we all usually get sex (often kinky and exciting sex) on our 1st "date" with a man. We thereby skip wining and dining and wooing and jumping through hoops just to have sex with a woman who really isn't too much into sex. We also know if we click, there may be subsequent "dates" with each other with no strings or expectations except to make each other cum again.
    Last edited by cuttin2dachase; Nov 10, 2016 at 8:17 PM.

  19. #19

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    A very lucid conversation and a lot of very good points made by some. I don't know that I realized I was bi late I life but it certainly took me a long time to be at peace with it. That was entirely thanks to my wonderful life-mate. She introduced me to her open-minded friends. We've had lots of great experiences swinging as well as great sex one on one. We allow one another total freedom and each have our fwbs... some that we share. Yeah, I guess I'm another lucky SOB... maybe we should start a club!..lol

  20. #20

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    Thats what happened to me as well, a 3 some involving a buddy and my wife. just sort of happeened she loved watching us and wanted us to fuck. she went to get condoms but to no avail ....too drunk by that time i guess!lol However he and i hookled up here at my house after parties wife would gettired and tell us to have fun and go to bed. eventually he did fuck me good and i loved it. sadly we have parted ways and he moved to fla. Havent been with anyone but him would love totry again just waiting for the right one!

  21. #21

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    I have to say I'm jealous of guys who either have understanding wives/gf or have been invited to play by a couple with a bi male. That kind of threesome still eludes me.

  22. #22

    Re: Admitting you are bisexual later in life

    both of us really need to get out more lol!
    Quote Originally Posted by InkDoc View Post
    I have to say I'm jealous of guys who either have understanding wives/gf or have been invited to play by a couple with a bi male. That kind of threesome still eludes me.

 

 

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