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  1. #1

    Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    I don't mean to be a buzzkill here but as we get older we all have to deal with issues that effect our sexual performance. I'm not just talking about ED, but fast cummers, no cummers, loose vaginas, side effects from medication, age, you name it. I know we would all like to get hard on demand, be 8 inches, last 45 minutes, be ready again after a 10 minute break, have a tight and wet pussy, etc. but we can't always find that in a partner and we can't always live up to those expectations ourselves.

    I guess my question is how important is it to you in the real world that all or most things go perfectly? Would you have a repeat encounter with someone you met that didn't, or can't perform optimally?

    For example, I met a man and after a quick introduction he proceeded to suck me and it was great. After a few minutes I reached down to stroke him a little to keep him hard until it was my turn to suck him. He continued to suck me as I was gentling fondling him and after about another minute he said he was ready to cum. I hurried to get my lips around his cock and while I did get there in time to catch his load I was a little disappointed that he came mostly on his own, and not from me sucking him. Now he gave me great head and I thoroughly enjoyed it even though I wasn't able to cum in his mouth.

    After he came he sort of lost interest in sucking me, but to be honest I have never been able to cum from a blow job. He seemed a little disappointed that he couldn't make me cum.

    So here you have two men, one that comes too quickly then loses interest and another that you could never get to cum while you are blowing them. So, how picky are you?

    I'm a "glass half full" guy and still call this a successful encounter and would see the guy again. I would accept either condition and would try to compensate.

  2. #2

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    Lots of feelings here and that's good. So it someone cums while sucking my cock I take it as a compliment.
    The only real question is do you want to have sex with him again.
    If you do talk it out. Just like any other lover.
    If you know ahead of time he will cum quickly don't touch him until you are close. Then give him what he desires. If you can't cum from sucking find another way. You didn't mention fucking. Is he up to be fucked?
    If you have an understanding lover conversation is the most important part.
    I have tried not to bring all my sexual hangups to bed with my new partners.
    And at least tell us here what happened!

  3. #3

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    Thanks for the reply. I wasn't necessarily looking for advice for my situation. What I am attempting to do here is have an open discussion about situations that people may have encountered with their relationships and how they handled it. One thing that confuses me is that I hear men say that their wives lose interest in sex after a certain age. My ex-wife's sex drive seemed to explode when she hit 50. She wanted it every night. The problem for me was there was no sensation down there. It felt like sticking my dick out a window. My current GF also wants it all the time but she is too passive and expects me to do all the work. She is in her 50's too and has movie star looks.

    I'm not looking for advice I'm just wanting others to share their experiences about what happens in their sex life when things are less than ideal. I have dealt with my issues, tell me about yours.

  4. #4

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    I take a long time and lots of stimulation to cum, and so did my ex-partner. We both preferred to bottom, but somehow, with imagination and some toys, we both had damn good sex. I have ED and use pills and a cock ring, which work pretty good, so there are my equipment issues, which have not proven to be problematic.
    My GF, who knows about my other side, is a great lover, who enjoys driving me nuts edging me. She is a fast cummer, so I need to bring her along slowly.
    I guess, so far, that we have adapted to each other, and continue to have fun.

  5. #5

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    Sometimes, after a great deal of time, commitment and effort, of talking and loving, we just have to call it a day.. sometimes we do the calling, sometimes are made to pack our bags... sometimes mutually, sometimes not... we have to move on and not dwell on failure. However much it hurts or we hurt another we must move on...
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  6. #6

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    that's the right thing to do, but that's also easy to say.

  7. #7

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    I know, Sysp.
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  8. #8

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    I've experienced similar issues personally as well as meeting men with similar issues. I developed some ED issues at age 50 because of the blood pressure and heart meds I was prescribed. I had trouble getting more than half hard, but I usually could still cum even with a soft dick. But there were times when I couldn't cum no matter how long my female or male partner sucked me. This went on for about 2 years. I did what the TV commercials suggested LOL I asked my cardio doc if Viagra was right for me. He said I was a prime candidate and prescribed it for me. He even encouraged me to have sex as often as possible as a way to relieve stress. That sorted me out. I would heartily recommend to any guy who can't get hard and/or cum to see his doctor about ED meds. Many health insurance plans have co-pays now and also there are now generics which are very affordable if your insurance doesn't cover them. Despite all the email scams offering Canadian ED meds, there are some that are very legit and reputable. As far as your cumming too quickly, just tell your partner to take it slowly. Stop him for a few seconds or even minutes, then resume. If he's the quick cummer ask him to tell you when he's getting close, then back off if he does. There are some men, myself included, who enjoy making a man cum as quickly as possible. After all, that's the object of the exercise!

    I'm 62 now and most of the men I meet are near or near-ish to my age, 45-65. I've found that in men 45 and over, ED problems are widespread. Many of them are so embarrassed that they say they only want to suck me off with no recip to hide the fact they are impotent. Only a few get rock hard and they are usually the ones who also take an ED med. Very few of them come despite my best bj efforts, so we end with me jerking them off or me watching as they jerk themselves off. I assure them it's OK and nothing to be ashamed of and suggest to them the same thing...ask their doctor for help like I did !

  9. #9

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    Cuttin, that is a great explanation and exactly why I created this thread. I'm hoping more people will share what their expectations are with a partner so that no one would feel that they can't have a satisfying sex life. I hear stories about wives losing interest in sex and they end up cutting off the men. I've experienced women that were sometimes dry so the traditional way men would get them aroused could seem painful. Instead of letting her roll over I just put a little lube on my finger and off we went.

    I use the blue pills as well. It requires a little patience and timing can be tricky but we work through it.

  10. #10

    Re: Dealing with partner's less than perfect sex issues

    @ MorThan7: My scrip is for 100 mg Viagra. My cardio doc prescribes me 10 pills per month, but my insurance co-pay only pays for 4 pills per month at a cost of $5 each. That's 20 bucks a month. I only require one quarter of a Viagra, 25 mgs, to be hittin on all cylinders LOL. So my trusty little pill cutter converts my 4 pills per month into 16 pills. It's costing me just $1.25 per dose every time I pop one before sex...you can't beat that ! Plus I'm able to stockpile the excess quartered pills because I have sex on average 6-8 times per month. As far as timing goes, the "official" recommendation is to take a 100 mg Viagra 30 minutes before the onset of sex....but I find that taking one 25 mg dose only requires 10-15 minutes before my motor gets crunk LOL

    But as far as expectations go, I know what to expect performance-wise from a man I've been with before and he knows what to expect from me. When I have a date with a new guy, I don't expect anything, but I have hopes for hot mutual chemistry, vibes and good to great sex. Most of the time it happens, sometimes it doesn't happen. C'est la vie if it doesn't happen but I am none the worse for experiencing it even if it's less than fulfilling...
    Last edited by cuttin2dachase; Aug 27, 2016 at 12:56 AM.

 

 

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