So hard to hook up with guys in the pandemic

[RisingBi]

I'm just having the hardest time getting together with guys since the pandemic started. Now, I don't know whether it's because of the pandemic, or things have just changed since my dozen gay hookups between 2014-2016 before meeting my girlfriend. Ultimately, I know it's just my own karma. But from an ordinary point of view, I don't understand it. Ever since breaking up with my girlfriend of three years just before the pandemic hit, I've been very excited to get back to hooking up with guys again, and exploring the even stronger gay side of myself that appeared during that very rocky relationship.

Even though I have been trying to use many different websites and apps, I've only managed to get together with one guy, twice, in September 2020, using Squirt. I contact guys, and most just don't reply at all. Of those who do reply, the vast majority that are bi are also married, and I only play with single guys. And most of the gay guys are on PrEP, so more of a risk for STDs in my mind (with the possible greater promiscuity being on PrEP brings); and I'm not on PrEP myself yet, at least not until I get a good momentum going in having sex with a guy or guys on a regular basis. So yes, my discrimination is minimizing the pool of available guys for me. And I've gained some extra Covid weight that's decreased the size of the pool of guys interested in me.

But even the guys that fit our mutual criteria, who I begin to text or email with using the hookup site, or even text with using cellular, I still have a hard time arranging get-togethers. Some just go silent when I broach the subject of arranging a get-together (after trying to get to know each other a little bit perhaps, which a lot of guys don't seem to be interested in doing), or when I ask certain questions, like if they would like to exchange face photos to see if there's a mutual attraction (even though I tell them it's not a dealbreaker if they don't want to share their face photo), or if they would like to exchange cell phone numbers if we actually get to the place of arranging a get-together (again, it's not a dealbreaker for me). But they still flake out on me. And when we get to arranging a time and house to get together at, they either cancel multiple times or are a no-show. Sometimes it's clear that they are just playing me. Other times it might be a combination of legitimate reasons and fear (perhaps out of lack of experience). It's very frustrating, especially if I clean my house and shave my body because that's their preference.

I think I'm posting tonight because I'm feeling a little bit almost desperate, and certainly frustrated and sad. Tonight is particularly difficult because that ex-girlfriend of mine got married today, with a guy she hooked up with a week after our break-up. I guess I'm feeling a little lonely, or a lot. Part of me is happy for her, and wants her to have nothing but joy and peace. Another part of me is sad for me, which I know is selfish. I'm still not interested in hooking up with a woman at this time, even though a couple adventure movies I watched tonight, for example, had some straight romance that made my heart flutter. But at least some sex with guys would be nice.

[KDaddy23]

Just an FYI, PrEP minimizes the risk of catching HIV and shouldn't be used if one is already infected. My protege, who is on PrEP because, well, he's a ho-in-training, tells me that a lot of gay men where he lives are being a lot more promiscuous and thinking that PrEP protects from STDs - which it doesn't.

Still, hooking up with guys while the pandemic is still going on will be difficult, I think. I also found that where I live, when it starts to get cold, hookup "cool off" as well. I'm not surprised that there are still guys who want to get into your underwear without getting to know you; historically, a hookup is more like a blow and go situation because the reason is to get your rocks off while avoiding any other attachments. Even I'll tell guys that if they don't have the time to talk to me, they don't have the time to have sex with me. There are always flakes and fakes and if we learn nothing else, it's that we spend more time these days trying to weed out the suckers than we do having sex.

Just hang in there!

[tongueteaser]

Sorry if I offend anyone but I have never seen so many weirded out people in all my life because of the scamdemic. People afraid of their shadow it seems. Wearing masks in cars and wont meet another person unless vaccinated. What the hell does that change being vaccinated. You can still get the virus or carry it no matter if you got the jab or not. People are gone in the head. I simply will not mess with a person that demands vaccinated or wont meet. I think we have more sheeple than people. I say have fun and just dont go out in crowds or parties. Find a partner you are compatible with and have fun.

[Alex_rose]

I think I'm posting tonight because I'm feeling a little bit almost desperate, and certainly frustrated and sad. Tonight is particularly difficult because that ex-girlfriend of mine got married today, with a guy she hooked up with a week after our break-up. I guess I'm feeling a little lonely, or a lot. Part of me is happy for her, and wants her to have nothing but joy and peace. Another part of me is sad for me, which I know is selfish. I'm still not interested in hooking up with a woman at this time, even though a couple adventure movies I watched tonight, for example, had some straight romance that made my heart flutter. But at least some sex with guys would be nice.

Sorry about that but I'm sure you'll find someone.
I been putting off finding someone hoping to find someone for a serious relationship but open to casual.
It can be tough trying to find someone on apps where I want to go to a bar to meet someone but I'm not the type to hit on guy. Sometimes I feel like going back on grindr for a fling but its a pain like you said.

[RisingBi]

Just an FYI, PrEP minimizes the risk of catching HIV and shouldn't be used if one is already infected. My protege, who is on PrEP because, well, he's a ho-in-training, tells me that a lot of gay men where he lives are being a lot more promiscuous and thinking that PrEP protects from STDs - which it doesn't.

Still, hooking up with guys while the pandemic is still going on will be difficult, I think. I also found that where I live, when it starts to get cold, hookup "cool off" as well. I'm not surprised that there are still guys who want to get into your underwear without getting to know you; historically, a hookup is more like a blow and go situation because the reason is to get your rocks off while avoiding any other attachments. Even I'll tell guys that if they don't have the time to talk to me, they don't have the time to have sex with me. There are always flakes and fakes and if we learn nothing else, it's that we spend more time these days trying to weed out the suckers than we do having sex.

Just hang in there!

As always, KDaddy, thank you for your wisdom and encouragement. Yes, I personally know that PrEP doesn't protect you from other STDs. Perhaps some guys don't realize that, with the promiscuity they are engaging in. But guys have also written in forums to me that HIV is really the main thing to get protected from, as the other STD treatments are much better these days and not a big issue like they once were. I have no idea myself. So they say as long as you are on PrEP to protect yourself from HIV and have regular tests for all STDs, you're good to go. That's what they tell me anyway. I'm certainly not looking for a slew of partners. I really just want to find a regular fuck buddy, and ultimately who is also a friend to do other things with, and fuck bareback for the deeper intimacy. I once posted that I was looking for monogamy and trust, and that started a thread talking about even if it appears to be a monogamous sexual relationship, it's best to be on PrEP and have regular testing for everything, just to be safe, in case he's not totally honest.

[RisingBi]

Sorry if I offend anyone but I have never seen so many weirded out people in all my life because of the scamdemic. People afraid of their shadow it seems. Wearing masks in cars and wont meet another person unless vaccinated. What the hell does that change being vaccinated. You can still get the virus or carry it no matter if you got the jab or not. People are gone in the head. I simply will not mess with a person that demands vaccinated or wont meet. I think we have more sheeple than people. I say have fun and just dont go out in crowds or parties. Find a partner you are compatible with and have fun.

I hear you, tongueteaser. There's definitely a lot of confusion and fear out there. I'm not vaxxed myself, actually, which is also divulged on my profile for honesty purposes on sites that have that field. That's another thing that decreases the pool of my options, I'm sure.

[RisingBi]

Sorry about that but I'm sure you'll find someone.
I been putting off finding someone hoping to find someone for a serious relationship but open to casual.
It can be tough trying to find someone on apps where I want to go to a bar to meet someone but I'm not the type to hit on guy. Sometimes I feel like going back on grindr for a fling but its a pain like you said.

Thanks, Alex. I appreciate your sympathy and encouragement. I hope you also find the perfect guy. I've also never hit on a guy in a bar, and in fact have rarely even been able to do so lifelong with a girl (actually, that failure in me to generate enough guts to approach a girl in a bar that I've been attracted to has caused me a lot of depression years ago). Plus, unlike with women, I'm just not attracted to guys (very rarely) with their clothes on, like in a bar, though that's slowly changing as the gay side of me grows and I embrace it.

[Jozyxt]

I started with guys during the pandemic. It is definitely off and on, but there are plenty of guys looking. Dl often has ads that seem would be great if I could host. I am vaxed and have had my booster. Having a sore arm for a day is a small price to feel comfortable being with new men, as far as COVID goes.

[Neonaught]

So if I decide to accept what protection I can get from a vaccination that makes me one of the "sheeple"? Maybe if we had not had a total idiot in charge when this thing started we wouldn't be where we are. With that attitude you may be a long time finding any action. I won't see anyone unwilling to get vaccinated as some kind of BS political statement.

[Westcoaster]

So if I decide to accept what protection I can get from a vaccination that makes me one of the "sheeple"? Maybe if we had not had a total idiot in charge when this thing started we wouldn't be where we are. With that attitude you may be a long time finding any action. I won't see anyone unwilling to get vaccinated as some kind of BS political statement.

With you 100% Neonaught! It simply amazes me how others have politicized a simple act of common sense. Just goes to show how 4 years of lies and brainwashing can impact those unable to think straight and recognize right from wrong.

[tenni]

I think that the difficulty of finding a guy to play with in an on going way is not limited due to the pandemic. Short term is what so many guys want. Like HIV put more desire to control the number of partners on many guys, Cod vid is just another danger sign.

An ex girlfriend marrying can bring a lonely feeling that causes reflection. There are guys out there who want something beyond a one time hook up and yet not ready to set up house together.

As far as politics and the pandemic it is mighty strange as we try to grab some kind of normalcy. Todays announcement about travel and returning to your country is depressing.

[RisingBi]

I think that the difficulty of finding a guy to play with in an on going way is not limited due to the pandemic. Short term is what so many guys want. Like HIV put more desire to control the number of partners on many guys, Cod vid is just another danger sign.

An ex girlfriend marrying can bring a lonely feeling that causes reflection. There are guys out there who want something beyond a one time hook up and yet not ready to set up house together.

As far as politics and the pandemic it is mighty strange as we try to grab some kind of normalcy. Todays announcement about travel and returning to your country is depressing.

Thank you, tenni, for your reply and sympathy. I appreciate your support. I'm certainly mostly looking for casual, though with passion, or a friend with benefits, but I'm open if more happens between us.

I have finally hooked up with my second guy during the pandemic since I last wrote. But he was more on the straight side, and just wanted his cock sucked. It was nice again to swallow a guy's load a couple of times, but his lack of desire for me, without any man on man passion whatsoever, just wasn't doing it for me. It was in fact a turn off, and his lack of oral reciprocation, and just trying to give me an emotionless handjob, left me soft and unable to cum. At least I hope that's all it was, and not that my gay feelings were going away. I certainly wouldn't want that, because I definitely enjoyed being with some of the guys I have hooked up with before I met my ex-girlfriend.

So I unfortunately had to let him down and tell him we won't be seeing each other again sexually. He was sad because if it were up to him, he would want me to suck his cock three times a day (he jerks off to completion many times every single day he says--and he's in his late 50s!).

[Rvdude05]

If he licks the precum off the tip, before he sucks me off, he's a keeper.....!

[atxbi]

Rising bi, you could send him my way. So far in my gay journey I’m very happy to have a man with a nice cock who wants me to please him every now and then. I just love making men cum. This may evolve into more intimacy at some point, but right now, I’m just a happy cumslut always looking for the next beautiful cock that needs attention.

[csreef]

It is hard to meet anyone during this Pandemic. If you do, meet someone, the first or second question is: Are you Vaxxed, and can I see proof of vaccination.