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  1. #1

    Finding someone for my first time

    What is the best place for me to find someone that is close to me, to help me get into doing things with another dude, maybe start off with some casual bj's or something then move into more serious stuff or something. I'm very eagar and just want to see what it's like

  2. #2

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Your best will be by pure dumb luck that a conversation with a close buddy in person, just happens to lead that way! As far as these sites or CL, they are a joke, 99% of the guys are just on to play games and just want to get on here to chat when they get horny. I been trying to find someone as a regular, and as a regular friend as well for I am not into the blo n goes or sex with the first guy who comes along and drops his pants. Just way too risky.
    Here in Central Pa area is the toughest to find someone too. so many here have age and looks hang-ups!

    Quote Originally Posted by userkek View Post
    What is the best place for me to find someone that is close to me, to help me get into doing things with another dude, maybe start off with some casual bj's or something then move into more serious stuff or something. I'm very eagar and just want to see what it's like

  3. #3

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    You really have to go to a club, etc. They are not easy to find nor are they in every market. That is the best way to start...Sites like this, adds, do not worl

  4. #4

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    any other opinions?

  5. #5

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    silverdaddies works here in Europe, go to a gay bar, also lots gay forums can help meet people in your area, is not easy.. good luck

  6. #6

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Maybe try some swinger sites. There are some couples looking for a bi guy or a guy that wants to try, and single guys too. Its a process andyeah takes time. Dont take any risks just to get there sooner.

  7. #7

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Quote Originally Posted by Dunmor View Post
    You really have to go to a club, etc. They are not easy to find nor are they in every market. That is the best way to start...Sites like this, adds, do not worl
    Exactly. But people do not understand this, are lazy or have problems socializing, or are deeply closeted that they would not go to a bar or dance club for LGBT people or where bisexual and gay men go to meet people in person.

  8. #8

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    In my case, I spent some time (after joining this site) looking at profiles. A few seemed interesting and had simular interests, so I said Hello. In one case, we ended up e-contacting for some time, found common ground, and established a basic relationship. We arrainged to meet, and immediatly connected. Because of our e-contact, he knew I was new and took time to introduce me to these new things. So it can happen.

    Take your time to look around. We/You only get one chance at a first time. Add a bit of detail to your profile as to interests, hobbies, ect to allow folks to know a little about you. Look for folks whose profiles show their interests. Try to establish a relationship of sorts before meeting, so you both have some idea of what to expect. That special person can be found; it does take a bit of work. Be safe and have fun!

  9. #9

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Daviecurous has the best advice I've seen, yet.

    Most of my companions have been folks I met through friends, through sites like this, or even at public events. Common interests lead to visiting, sharing ideas/ideals, then slowly learning more about each other and ourselves. I've developed both platonic and emotional relationships that lead to sexual involvement with inexperienced male partners, that way.

    More than one person, who had never even thought of being in a same gender relationship before, developed into rewarding partnerships . One inexperienced guy became my exclusive FWB for over 10 years! Relationships with various others, with varying experiences, have lasted years, too. All of these connections were developed slowly, with vetting going on by both of us. By the time intimacy began, we were pretty sure of ourselves and happy with our decisions to come together.

    Granted, the way I have usually developed relationships, has generally taken more time, but the resulting connections were the most rewarding and long lasting.

    I've met and have developed relationships with one bisexual lady, who I met here back in 2008. We are still lovers. I also met a super nice guy on Silverdaddies. We've been FWBs for over a year and half.

    I've met a few wonderful members, here, but haven't been intimate with them......... but I consider them friends.

    As Daviecurious said, profiles and reading comments from members, can tell you a lot about a person. To me, it makes sense to get to know a person by writing, first. I wouldn't attempt a meeting before I felt I knew a little about a person's aspirations, interests, and goals.

    I've always been interested in relationships, so I'm not sure how one would go about spontaneous sexual liaisons with strangers. One-time 'fuck and run' situations are the last thing that would enter my mind.

    Rewarding connections, usually take effort to develop. At least, that's my experience.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by Realist; Feb 13, 2016 at 9:21 AM.

  10. #10

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    As far as these sites or CL, they are a joke, 99% of the guys are just on to play games and just want to get on here to chat when they get horny.

    I completely agree. Constant promises followed by flakeouts.

  11. #11

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Some good info and advice here.. Really like what Realist is saying, as such, the "fuck and go", wouldn't be for my situation either. I am totally new to looking into these things and all of this has been in my mind, dreams, and watching bisex porn with my wife and both of us fantasizing about it through talk, texting, and video.. I started having these desires a few years back but held it in, it was like a mountain of weight on my shoulders and I was terrified to tell my wife about it. I finally told her and now our sexual and mental connection is better than it ever was. Right no it is fantasy, we get very excited about it and the sex is more amazing than ever, but I, or us together have never engaged in a physical experience with another guy yet. Hopefully some day it will fall into place with the right person, but yeah, No fuck and goes for us, to risky..

  12. #12

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Quote Originally Posted by Realist View Post
    Daviecurous has the best advice I've seen, yet.

    Most of my companions have been folks I met through friends, through sites like this, or even at public events. Common interests lead to visiting, sharing ideas/ideals, then slowly learning more about each other and ourselves. I've developed both platonic and emotional relationships that lead to sexual involvement with inexperienced male partners, that way.

    More than one person, who had never even thought of being in a same gender relationship before, developed into rewarding partnerships . One inexperienced guy became my exclusive FWB for over 10 years! Relationships with various others, with varying experiences, have lasted years, too. All of these connections were developed slowly, with vetting going on by both of us. By the time intimacy began, we were pretty sure of ourselves and happy with our decisions to come together.

    Granted, the way I have usually developed relationships, has generally taken more time, but the resulting connections were the most rewarding and long lasting.

    I've met and have developed relationships with one bisexual lady, who I met here back in 2008. We are still lovers. I also met a super nice guy on Silverdaddies. We've been FWBs for over a year and half.

    I've met a few wonderful members, here, but haven't been intimate with them......... but I consider them friends.

    As Daviecurious said, profiles and reading comments from members, can tell you a lot about a person. To me, it makes sense to get to know a person by writing, first. I wouldn't attempt a meeting before I felt I knew a little about a person's aspirations, interests, and goals.

    I've always been interested in relationships, so I'm not sure how one would go about spontaneous sexual liaisons with strangers. One-time 'fuck and run' situations are the last thing that would enter my mind.

    Rewarding connections, usually take effort to develop. At least, that's my experience.

    Good luck!
    Quote Originally Posted by jackofbothtrades View Post
    As far as these sites or CL, they are a joke, 99% of the guys are just on to play games and just want to get on here to chat when they get horny.

    I completely agree. Constant promises followed by flakeouts.
    I'd listen to Realist on this one. This sight isn't totally worthless. You just have to be patient. These are very up close & personal acts we're discussing here. Besides diseases. We're people like anyone else...not merely cum receptacles. Just like with women, you have to share something of yourself, & if you don't do that right, you'll be pegged for a fake immediately. So take your time & get to know people...
    Never met a dick I didn't like! Got dick? No? Come get some!...

  13. #13

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    The idea of having regular or semi-regular friends with benefits is more appealing to many people (myself included) than are one-time meetups. I'd much prefer to have several bi or gay FWBs I know and trust and be able to hook up with each of them 2 or 3 times per month. But the reality of of the situation is that there are many many more bi and gay men out there looking for sex who are only into fuck/suck-and-go and hit-and-run type mm sex or mfm swinging. In order to meet nice (but naughty) bi or gay men with whom you'd want to establish an ongoing thing it's likely that you'll need to experience and tolerate a few one-time meetups to get experience and establish a comfort level about being naked and intimate with other men. I'm not saying you should lower your standards, but it never hurts to lower your expectations. Be cautious and discreet, but get what you can get when you can get it and keep doing so until you do meet a guy or guys you click with who mutually desire repeat meetups. I've met some very attractive men who were great in bed. I would have met them again in a heartbeat but they weren't looking for repeat meetups. I do not regret those experiences one little bit !

  14. #14

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    I also agree with realist. Take your time, read profiles, get to know the person. Patience is key. Start by talking online and see where it goes. Good luck.

  15. #15

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Wow! I had just found this site and joined today and gotta say there is some solid advice here that I appreciate. I just had my first bi experience a few weeks ago and it kinda happened by dumb luck, and while it was awesome I was kinda bummed and confused that it was essentially a blow and go when I was thinking more fwb's.... Having the chance to cultivate a bit of a relationship first is so simple can't believe I overlooked it.... Well it seems like there is some pretty cool people on here, so here's to good luck !!!

  16. #16

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    congratulations on ur 1st time, hope u find another experiance & u like it better

  17. #17

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    haven't checked this in a bit, been a crazy few weeks, thanks for the advice!!

  18. #18

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    I've had some success on men4sexnow but as others have said it's usually a lot of guys who when it comes down to it don't respond. I've tried squirt and there are tons of guys on there but I've never been very lucky.

  19. #19

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Quote Originally Posted by bikurinpa View Post
    Your best will be by pure dumb luck that a conversation with a close buddy in person, just happens to lead that way! As far as these sites or CL, they are a joke, 99% of the guys are just on to play games and just want to get on here to chat when they get horny. I been trying to find someone as a regular, and as a regular friend as well for I am not into the blo n goes or sex with the first guy who comes along and drops his pants. Just way too risky.
    Here in Central Pa area is the toughest to find someone too. so many here have age and looks hang-ups!
    Just a little harsh perhaps. Yes guys may come here to just chat and find on-line friends who can share their horniness. What's wrong with that? Perhaps those who do should avoid leading someone on and then bailing out on a agreed meeting.

  20. #20

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    I agree with Daviecurious and Realist above.. I've spent most of my effort using Adult Friend Finder and Fetlife, as well as going to a local GLBTQ friendly fetish party club.

    Most of the folks I am close to , I know through AFF, FET and in person at the club. I worked on that slowly and am now getting to the point of having several potential playmates and I'm already playing some BDSM with a Domme at the club.

    The guy I hooked up with was from AFF (it didn't last but it was a really good time, I think we both got what we wanted). I'm also one of the folks who Realist met here and I consider myself a good friend of his.

    I think playing it slowly is safer and more satisfying, I also know guys who blast on CL and do well (but that is too unsafe both from an STI perspective as well as general safety for me). I always meet a potential partner first in person before deciding to play or not. Anyone who doesn't want to do that, I let go without looking back.

    So, I suggest patience and mixed mode... The local scene is probably close to a must for a good relationship.. Look for clubs and munches (a BDSM vanilla meetup, but they are just good places to meet other non-vanilla people), as well as the local chat or message boards for your area on the websites (I met almost all of the folks I hang with on AFF on the local message board for my area)..

    Good luck!
    Last edited by lizard-lix; Jul 4, 2016 at 9:52 AM.

  21. #21

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    very good point about meeting in person before deciding to do anything.

  22. #22

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    Still could use some help

  23. #23

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    What I would do is find someone I know to be Gay, and "drop subtle hints" to him, and see where it will lead to ....

    Also I would find an LGBT Center near where you live and start attending events Ect...Good Luck !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by userkek View Post
    Still could use some help

  24. #24

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    There are several men on Craigslist, some from your neighborhood who would like to meet like minded guys. Read the ads and respond to a few. Trust your instincts. I have met some very good friends on Cl and some are still my friend.

    Pick a outside interest that you enjoy and post an ad on Craigslist with that as an emphasis. I ride motorcycle and camp. So, my focus is with that in mind. When someone answers my ad and they say, "I don't have a motorcycle but I want to suck your cock." I just ignore that response. I ride and camp with a few buddies that I have met on CL.

    Might be that you like to go bowling or riding bicycle. When discussing that activity, you will know if they are real about that activity or they are just bull shitting you.

  25. #25

    Re: Finding someone for my first time

    real good advise i think it applies to me too. i'm looking for more than just a quick fuck m or f. ur advise would probably help me find someone better for me. thanks
    Quote Originally Posted by larrywilldo View Post
    There are several men on Craigslist, some from your neighborhood who would like to meet like minded guys. Read the ads and respond to a few. Trust your instincts. I have met some very good friends on Cl and some are still my friend.

    Pick a outside interest that you enjoy and post an ad on Craigslist with that as an emphasis. I ride motorcycle and camp. So, my focus is with that in mind. When someone answers my ad and they say, "I don't have a motorcycle but I want to suck your cock." I just ignore that response. I ride and camp with a few buddies that I have met on CL.

    Might be that you like to go bowling or riding bicycle. When discussing that activity, you will know if they are real about that activity or they are just bull shitting you.

 

 

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