After a long time - seeking answers..

[dowmass]

As a bottom, the last time I was with someone was March 2018. I got busy with work and then COVID struck and as the cliche goes, the rest is history.

Now after someone on Double list got in touch with me. He is a divorced top that is clean healthy and vaccinated, He also has a 7 inch hard and cut cock, He seems to be a little "Dom" and wants his dick sucked, and his balls licked. He has a nice set of shaved balls and a hard dick.. He says that he wants to fuck me, and make me his regular one, but he wants his dick sucked first.

All this is so exciting to me - I felt my heart beat go up in anticipation of this happening.
I know that for some this would sound naive, and stupid, but I have a couple of questions.

• He asked me if I'd like to get face fucked, and I didn't know what to say - what do you think?
• It will be awkward when I meet him - how do I break the ice and proceed with the act of sucking his dick.
• I sucked a dick in 2018, but might have lost the art..... so which technique in sucking a dick that will bring him enjoyment ? how do I "edge" him? I want hi to be happy and take him to the height of pleasure.
• If he asks if I want to "swallow" or a "facial", what should I say? Which feels better and which is a better sign of being submissive?
• Any other piece of advice?

Thanks for not laughing and for your patience. That is greatly appreciated

[cornholejoe]

just go with it if hes on the dom side you going be doing what he wants

[Jazminedress]

he is stating what he wants, there is nothing wrong with you setting your rules

Getting face fucked, hell yeah, being choked or having someone forcefully grab my head and slam into my throat, hell no
Swallow..............after a HIV test, sure, without, no, same with facial

Meeting, neutral place first, then see how it goes, see if you have any bad vibes or anything, if you do, go with your gut

[RisingBi]

Yes, Covid has certainly curtailed a lot of our sex lives. I myself broke up with my girlfriend in December 2019, and was so excited about getting back to fucking guys, but just as I was text chatting with a guy, arranging to meet, the first lockdown happened. I finally managed to get together with a guy, twice, later that year in September, now more than a year ago, and haven't gotten together with any guy since. But I'm finally chatting with a guy now to arrange a meeting.


Certainly you can tell your Doublelist guy that you'd love to suck his dick at least, and just see how things go from there regarding seeing each other again, fucking, and becoming regulars. I think that's totally fair. I'm also looking for a regular fuck buddy, but there needs to be some mutual chemistry and like of each other, so it's just about getting together with guys and seeing how things go.


Your questions are totally valid, and does not make you sound na?ve or stupid at all. Thanks for asking them. I am certainly no expert, but before hooking up with my girlfriend in 2016, I had sex with lots of guys. Yes, I can understand why it is so exciting to you to do so again.


1) About getting face fucked, just tell him that you're excited to suck his gorgeous cock, but we'll just have to see how it goes whether face fucking will be in the mix, because you're a relative newbie. He'll understand.


2) Yes, there is always awkwardness when you first meet a guy: it's natural, and don't worry about it. You could let him take the initiative. Or: When I got together the first time with that guy in September 2020, we sat on his sofa chatting a bit, and I noticed some awkwardness in him, as it had been a while since he'd been with a guy (as it was with me). I remember how much he enjoyed our online sex chatting, so I just started telling him about this one time I got together with a guy and what we were doing to each other. That totally got him super horny and he practically dragged me into his bedroom, lol. So talking sex is a great way to break the ice.


3) The art of sucking a cock, in my opinion, is most of all about showing great enjoyment in doing it. Most gay and bisexual men are extreme cock worshipers, unlike most women, from what I hear from other guys in person or on the Internet (but totally not the case with my girlfriend, who loved cocksucking, a lot): heck, there probably would be a lot fewer bi guys out there, and especially husband cheaters, if wives were true cock worshipers, and even not just pretending to be, the few that might do so, but really loving cock.


So really worship his cock. Take time to marvel its beauty, and you can even be a little verbal about it. Then start slowly, giving it soft kisses, moving up to soft kisses with a little gentle darting of the tip of your tongue, up and down his shaft and cockhead. Gradually do longer dabs of your tongue, and eventually long drawn licks up his shaft, which probably will be very hard by then, if not long before. Spend a little bit more time then on his cockhead, kissing it, licking it, really showing how much you're enjoying it, enjoying his whole cock, considering it the most beautiful thing in the universe. Then you can open your mouth wide, and without touching the edges of his cockhead, move your mouth down over top of it and the upper part of his shaft. Then gently close your mouth until it is tightly around his cockhead and upper shaft, and then gently move upwards until it is completely out of your mouth. Look into his eyes then and smile. And then attack his cock as the born cocksucker you are. Don't just suck his cock, but intermittently continue to do lots of kisses and long licks up and down it, enjoying it like the best lollypop you've ever had.


At one point you can begin kisses from his cockhead, down his shaft, gentle and slow, continuing down to his balls, gently kissing them all over, eventually getting a little bit of gentle darting tongue in there, and then longer licks, and move back up his shaft, suck his cock some more, repeat down to his balls again, lick them more and more, and eventually opening your mouth wide to suck in one of his balls, and gently suck on it. And then the other one. And more cocksucking. You can even try to push his cockhead down your throat a little bit, if you're new to deepthroating, and it's OK if you gag, because that turns him on. He might be tempted to fuck your mouth or throat, but if you're not ready, just use your hand gently to stop his motions and continue attacking his cock with a hunger like you've never had. If you are ready for face fucking, then beg him to fuck your mouth or throat. If it gets too much, then just again gently stop him with your hand and return to sucking his cock with ferocity.


The trick to edging him is taking him close to orgasm, which you can tell is the case just through experience on seeing the subtle and not-so-subtle cues of him getting close, and then stopping any touch of his penis. You can go back to gentle kisses of his balls for a minute or two. Then back to cocksucking, gently at first, and then with greater and greater ferocity, again stopping completely when you see cues of him getting close. Sometimes he helps by saying, "Oh my God, oh fuck, I'm getting close." You always have to stop all touch of his cock when he says that. It is that back-and-forth that is mindblowing edging. Finally, when he just can't take it anymore, and tells you so--then edge him some more, lol! But when you think he's had enough torture (kind of a pleasurable torture), then suck him like a madman or let him face fuck you like crazy, to bring him to orgasm, which will be much more intense because of the edging.


4) If you're open to letting him cum in your mouth or down your throat, or both, then definitely let him do this, because that is the ultimate high, for both of you, at least as far as cocksucking goes, submissive or otherwise. But I suppose every dom is different, and you can just ask him, beforehand or even during, what he wants. You also don't necessarily need to swallow, so if you're open to just letting him cum in your mouth, and then you can seductively let the semen out of your mouth and onto his body somewhere. If you're not there yet to let him cum in your mouth, then that is fine, and let him just cum all over your face if you want, or you can even rub his still cumming cock all over your face like crazy, which is a personal high for me when I'm a bottom and not swallowing. Taking a man's cum in my mouth is such a high for me because of the intimacy of taking part of him, his very essence, his seed, into me, sharing it with me, becoming one with me. In my experience guys' cum became much more delicious after I began thinking this way. I love that intimacy, any intimacy, and as I progress in my bisexual development, getting more and more in touch with the gay part of myself, and loving it, the more intimate I want to be with the man I'm having sex with, oral or anal.


I've yet to bottom anally for a guy, but I'm actively looking for that: but condoms first, until I meet the right guy to become regulars with, or I become pretty active with guys and want to go on PrEP. A big part of me can't wait for that, especially the former, finding a regular fuck buddy. But I will still want to be somewhat discriminating, and not just suck or fuck any guy, and especially not anonymously (for the first 21 years, 1992-2013, all I did was anonymous oral sex with over 200 guys in different sex venues like bathhouses, gay sex clubs, etc., so I was super lucky never to catch an STD; but ever since discovering the wonderful intimacy of rimming and fucking a guy's ass in 2013, in a bathhouse in Berlin on a visit to Germany, all I want is more personal get-togethers with guys in each other's homes). There is still the danger of other STDs, besides HIV, which PrEP cannot protect you from, though the word is that medicines today are pretty good at treating the other STDs. But being picky might still be prudent.


The most important thing is feeling a good vibe from the guy we meet in person, whether it is beforehand grabbing a coffee, or being together for sex. I have made a mistake before not following my feelings or intuition, out of feelings of obligation to go through with the sex. If you're not feeling right about the guy, whether it is about his character or just your attraction to him, do yourself a favour and politely excuse yourself and say this isn't going to work out for you. Then leave, or ask him to leave, and just say your apologies again and wish him all the best. And if the guy is being too dominant or aggressive, and is not listening to your "no", then immediately stop, grab your clothes, and run, or kick him out. We men who love having sex with other men really need to stop being worried about hurting someone's feelings by not being honest with them. We have to listen to our gut. Or I have to at least.


For example, I texted with this young guy on Squirt, and arranged a get-together, with my first taking him to dinner. The moment he got into my car when I picked him up, I was turned off by his flamboyant gayness, for lack of a better phrase. The feeling never went away during dinner, but I still felt obligated to take him home and have sex with him. He also wanted me to put hip-hop music on, which generally is a turn off for me. But I still had oral sex with him, and rimmed his asshole (which I always love no matter what, I suppose--ever since that first guy in Berlin--because I still enjoyed tonguefucking his hole). But when it finally came for me to fuck his ass, with a condom, I couldn't get hard, and I know that was because I was so unattracted to him.


Good luck, my friend. Enjoy, be true, and be safe.

Gary