Bad Experience?

[whistle1]

Most of the stories I've read by men on their first encounter with another man seem to go wonderfully. Supposedly, a guy who has never even seen another cock one minute is on his knees with one down his throat or up his butt the next. In addition, everybody in the story seems to be very much into the encounter.

I realize it's often difficult to know what is true and what is purely a fanciful bit of fiction. It does get me wondering though.

I'm sure it's happened, but does anyone have a story about a first-time encounter with another man that did NOT go well? If so, what happened?

Could you not go through with it at all? Did you, but just didn't like it? Did that deter you from trying again?

[pepperjack]

I agree with you that I've read anecdotes of M/M encounters on here & elsewhere that just didn't seem to have the ring of truth. Yes, I've had some bad encounters, fortunately in the minority, but I'm not going to share them. Too much fodder for the on site vulture, ps.

[pole_smoker]

Most of the stories I've read by men on their first encounter with another man seem to go wonderfully. Supposedly, a guy who has never even seen another cock one minute is on his knees with one down his throat or up his butt the next. In addition, everybody in the story seems to be very much into the encounter.

I realize it's often difficult to know what is true and what is purely a fanciful bit of fiction. It does get me wondering though.

I'm sure it's happened, but does anyone have a story about a first-time encounter with another man that did NOT go well? If so, what happened?

Could you not go through with it at all? Did you, but just didn't like it? Did that deter you from trying again?

This did not happen to either myself, or my husband.

[pepperjack]

I will tell you this. I'm looking forward to hooking up with a guy I just met here & he seems ideal! Not only does he have impressive physical stats ( nice, lean, muscled body; 7 1/2" cock ) but a great personality. We developed a very good rapport very quickly. He claims it's his first. If this works out, he should be arriving about the same time the local temp is predicted at 106! Yup, just might be a hot time in the 'hood this evening!

[pole_smoker]

I agree with you that I've read anecdotes of M/M encounters on here & elsewhere that just didn't seem to have the ring of truth. Yes, I've had some bad encounters, fortunately in the minority, but I'm not going to share them. Too much fodder for the on site vulture, ps.

Yes they were bad sexual encounters/hook ups for those guys since they had the unfortunate experience of having sex with you. LOL

[pepperjack]

[pole_smoker]

[cornholejoe]

i have had a few bad experiences just learned to be more select with who i have sex with

[fredtyg]

Over the years I've heard a few tales of first encounters that didn't go well. Mostly guys that were past teenage years, but a few younger. Some of them were the type of thing- at least with the younger guys- where they were pressured into it. With older guys the stories seemed mostly about something about the other guy they didn't like.

Funny thing is, with all of those guys, even with their first m2m not going well, it didn't stop them from carrying on with it later on. I wouldn't have heard those stories on this and other lists if they didn't keep up with it. Then again, maybe those with the worst stories wouldn't have continued fooling around so they wouldn't be on these sorts of web sites.

[fredtyg]

i have had a few bad experiences just learned to be more select with who i have sex with

Remember, he's asking about FIRST experiences here. The first time with another guy. I'm sure most of us have had some that didn't go as well as we'd liked.

[cornholejoe]

Remember, he's asking about FIRST experiences here. The first time with another guy. I'm sure most of us have had some that didn't go as well as we'd liked.

my first time was not very good at all but my second time was great

[cuttin2dachase]

I understood whistle1 to be asking about 1st time experiences with any man, not just the 1st guy you ever had sex with. I've had as many 1st time experiences with men as I've had men. Some guys prefer random one-time hookups with other men. They go into any encounter just for the sex only, knowing they never want to meet a partner again (quantity over quality). Others (like me) are looking for one or more stable FWBs they can play with on a regular or semi-regular basis (quality over quantity). By necessity, I must play for the first time with a man in order for both of us to decide if we want to continue exploring and having FWB fun and meet again when we can. The great majority of hookups for me end up being one-time deals. I enjoy each 1st time experience on its own merit with no expectation or high hopes that it'll turn into a FWB arrangement. If it happens, great, but if not, maybe the next guy I meet will become a FWB. There have been men I met who I really felt attracted to and would gladly have met again, but they didn't feel the same way. I never took it personally or wondered why a guy I liked disappeared without having the guts to tell me they weren't interested in another meet. One-time meetups have always been a deal where he used me for what he wanted and I used him for what I wanted and then we went our separate ways. There have been men who I enjoyed purely sexually, but I just didn't feel the attraction or the vibes I'd want in a FWB. When they emailed or texted or called me wanting to meet again I told them up front that I'd enjoyed the sex, but didn't want to meet again. I can only imagine how it tough it must be for gay or bi men who want love and ltrs to find other men who are looking for the same thing.

I have never had what I'd call a bad 1st time experience, but I have had a couple or three of what I'd call weird experiences with weird guys LOL. I have had several post-1st meeting experiences where I was stalked and pestered and drama was caused by guys who said I used them and they wish they never met me blah-blah-blah etc. They were guys I'd frankly told after our 1st meet that I didn't want to meet them again. But at least I told them and didn't take the coward route.

[pole_smoker]

I understood whistle1 to be asking about 1st time experiences with any man, not just the 1st guy you ever had sex with. I've had as many 1st time experiences with men as I've had men. Some guys prefer random one-time hookups with other men. They go into any encounter just for the sex only, knowing they never want to meet a partner again (quantity over quality). Others (like me) are looking for one or more stable FWBs they can play with on a regular or semi-regular basis (quality over quantity). By necessity, I must play for the first time with a man in order for both of us to decide if we want to continue exploring and having FWB fun and meet again when we can. The great majority of hookups for me end up being one-time deals. I enjoy each 1st time experience on its own merit with no expectation or high hopes that it'll turn into a FWB arrangement. If it happens, great, but if not, maybe the next guy I meet will become a FWB. There have been men I met who I really felt attracted to and would gladly have met again, but they didn't feel the same way. I never took it personally or wondered why a guy I liked disappeared without having the guts to tell me they weren't interested in another meet. One-time meetups have always been a deal where he used me for what he wanted and I used him for what I wanted and then we went our separate ways. There have been men who I enjoyed purely sexually, but I just didn't feel the attraction or the vibes I'd want in a FWB. When they emailed or texted or called me wanting to meet again I told them up front that I'd enjoyed the sex, but didn't want to meet again. I can only imagine how it tough it must be for gay or bi men who want love and ltrs to find other men who are looking for the same thing.

I have never had what I'd call a bad 1st time experience, but I have had a couple or three of what I'd call weird experiences with weird guys LOL. I have had several post-1st meeting experiences where I was stalked and pestered and drama was caused by guys who said I used them and they wish they never met me blah-blah-blah etc. They were guys I'd frankly told after our 1st meet that I didn't want to meet them again. But at least I told them and didn't take the coward route.

LMAO having a fuck buddy or 'FWB' is not an actual relationship or partnership, and don't kid yourself that it is something more meaningful or based on 'quality' than a hookup because it is not.

[Cum1st]

I'd been thinking about it for a while when I was soft propositioned. (Sex wasn't even hinted at, but being asked to go home by a strange, to me, man from the local watering hole seemed sexual to me). And I wasn't wrong.

Among other things in my younger life, my first live in GF obviously enjoyed sucking me off once in a while to the point of sacrificing a chance at a long hard fucking. She liked to be screwed and have a mess left in her - pubic bone to pubic bone deep.

I didn't cum during my first experience with a man. We were 69'ing. I felt guilty about it the next day. Probably because of crossing the line of what was a serious social taboo at the time. "A woman who sucks a cock is a keeper. A man who sucks a cock is a queer for the rest of his life. The guy and I got up and left the bar together. I even turned down a rematch the next morning when he dropped me home the next morning. (We had dropped my car off at home the night before. I gather he didn't want his neighbors to talk.)

This guilt was with me for a while. Sometime afterward a guy came to my place to work out a Yellow Pages ad I'd requested. After business was completed he started by describing what it was like to have someone insert a string of large beads one at a time in a partner's ass while having sex, then pulling them all out upon orgasm. With a large wet spot in my pants I turned him down when he finally stopped describing fantastic sexual acts and got to the request to have sex with me. Darn! I guess my first experience wasn't all good even though I dove eagerly on the cock and enjoyed everything about it at the time.

I still wonder if that salesman had any of those beads with him.

[pole_smoker]

I'd been thinking about it for a while when I was soft propositioned. (Sex wasn't even hinted at, but being asked to go home by a strange, to me, man from the local watering hole seemed sexual to me). And I wasn't wrong.

Among other things in my younger life, my first live in GF obviously enjoyed sucking me off once in a while to the point of sacrificing a chance at a long hard fucking. She liked to be screwed and have a mess left in her - pubic bone to pubic bone deep.

I didn't cum during my first experience with a man. We were 69'ing. I felt guilty about it the next day. Probably because of crossing the line of what was a serious social taboo at the time. "A woman who sucks a cock is a keeper. A man who sucks a cock is a queer for the rest of his life. The guy and I got up and left the bar together. I even turned down a rematch the next morning when he dropped me home the next morning. (We had dropped my car off at home the night before. I gather he didn't want his neighbors to talk.)

This guilt was with me for a while. Sometime afterward a guy came to my place to work out a Yellow Pages ad I'd requested. After business was completed he started by describing what it was like to have someone insert a string of large beads one at a time in a partner's ass while having sex, then pulling them all out upon orgasm. With a large wet spot in my pants I turned him down when he finally stopped describing fantastic sexual acts and got to the request to have sex with me. Darn! I guess my first experience wasn't all good even though I dove eagerly on the cock and enjoyed everything about it at the time.

I still wonder if that salesman had any of those beads with him.

Was the guy that you met via the yellow pages a whore?

I would find it very odd if someone who was from a reputable business in a phone book started talking about sex or anal beads, and I would tell them to leave.

If you were placing the ad yourself why did you have to have some guy there?

[Cum1st]

Was the guy that you met via the yellow pages a whore?

I would find it very odd if someone who was from a reputable business in a phone book started talking about sex or anal beads, and I would tell them to leave.

If you were placing the ad yourself why did you have to have some guy there?

Q-1) I don't have any reason to believe he would charge to stuff beads up my ass and suck me off. I wouldn't. Would you?

Q-2) Being a trained and experienced salesman he probably was able to read people pretty well. Being an open minded free spirit I have had a very interesting life. I can sympathize with someone who wants something so bad he/she is willing to throw caution to the wind. It's happened to me. Cock is one example. While others were sweating careers and investing in things strangers recommended, many of which failed, I was and still am making my own decisions living the life I want. If I was uptight, judgmental, and didn't like what he was trying to 'sell' me, I imagine I would have thrown him out.

Q-3) There is a lot to a successful ad. Borders, font, illustrations etc., and part of his job was to sell more ad space. In the early '70's a lot of business was face to face.

[DerrekCooke2]

I had a bad experience when I was 17. A guy I knew came over to f*ck and I was nervous because it was going to be my first time with a guy. Let's just say that he wasn't at my house for long.

[Oztrich]

Bad experiences are more common than good ones I think. We guys are tramps mostly, and a lot of men encountered are not in any way sophisticated about man-fucking. I hate it when men are crass, rude, rough, and into "blow'n'go" stuff. Unfortunately, that is where a lot of guys are. It has happened to me too many times - fortunately a long time ago.

[pole_smoker]

Q-1) I don't have any reason to believe he would charge to stuff beads up my ass and suck me off. I wouldn't. Would you?

Q-2) Being a trained and experienced salesman he probably was able to read people pretty well. Being an open minded free spirit I have had a very interesting life. I can sympathize with someone who wants something so bad he/she is willing to throw caution to the wind. It's happened to me. Cock is one example. While others were sweating careers and investing in things strangers recommended, many of which failed, I was and still am making my own decisions living the life I want. If I was uptight, judgmental, and didn't like what he was trying to 'sell' me, I imagine I would have thrown him out.

Q-3) There is a lot to a successful ad. Borders, font, illustrations etc., and part of his job was to sell more ad space. In the early '70's a lot of business was face to face.

I've had lots of men proposition me in all sort of environments, and situations, and so has my husband but we just ignore them or firmly tell them no thanks.

[whistle1]

The initial intent of my post was in reference to the very first time a man had "an encounter" with another man. Some of you interpreted it to mean the first encounter you had with all male partners.That is fine.

The whole reason for the post was that I found it interesting that almost all stories I've read about male-male encounters seemed to go fabulously for eveyone. On occaison, you'd hear about something that didn't go as planned, but those stories seemed to be the exception.

Also, it was not my intent to have people provide the "blow-by-blow" details of their first bad encounter. I was simply trying to get a general sense of what went wrong.

In any event, thanks to those who commented.

[sysper]

my thoughts exactly.....i would like to hear stores where things didn't go good or the person realized it was totally wrong for them. we all have different experiances i wanna know more of the things i can expect not just it was so great i've been doing it ever since & loving it.

[fredtyg]

my thoughts exactly.....i would like to hear stores where things didn't go good or the person realized it was totally wrong for them.

One problem with that is, if they realized it was totally wrong for them, you would assume they wouldn't continue doing it and thus wouldn't be here in this forum telling us about it.

One a similar note, I recall a year or two ago here a similar thread when it was asked what people's first bi (homosexual) experience was. I was struck by how many guys said their first m2m sex was with and adult when they were still teenagers. Some even described it as "molest", yet they continued to do it and are still doing it now or they wouldn't be here.

In fact, in all the bi and gay forums I've participated in over the years, I don't recall anyone ever saying they tried it, didn't like it and would never do it again. I guess that would make sense when you think about it.

As an aside, I remember when I was in junior high school. A friend and I approached a group of other students- maybe 4 of them. Some were girls. As we approached one of the girls was saying, "I used to do queer stuff, too, but not anymore". I was rather stunned by such an open admission back in the 60s and that those kids would be standing there talking openly about it. I still think that's rather bold. Wonder where those kids are today and if they were fooling each other and are still doing it? Or maybe that was just kids being kids?

I remember as we stood there, my friend the late Doug J. said to them, while patting me on the back, "Fred and I are ex- queers, too. Right Fred?". I honestly didn't know what he was talking about but agreed with him just to help him out.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized what he was referring to: We jacked off together 2 or 3 times. Never touched, just jacked off. I didn't consider that homosexual behavior then and still don't as my thoughts weren't on m2m. Just jacking off. Makes me wonder what those other kids were referring to as "doing queer stuff"?

[sysper]

[QUOTE=fredtyg;290612]One problem with that is, if they realized it was totally wrong for them, you would assume they wouldn't continue doing it and thus wouldn't be here in this forum telling us about it.


In fact, in all the bi and gay forums I've participated in over the years, I don't recall anyone ever saying they tried it, didn't like it and would never do it again. I guess that would make sense when you think about it.

yeah i get it now lol but now i'm just wondering where u would even hear such a story? maybe on some gay haters website lol

[fredtyg]

[QUOTE=sysper;290617]

i'm just wondering where u would even hear such a story? maybe on some gay haters website lol

I guess so. I'm sure such sites exist. I'd have to wonder if the gay haters might be bi or homo themselves? As has been pointed out here before, some of us think those who bash queers the most are often queer themselves, or worried that they are.

On a related note of negative experiences back in younger times, I've heard a few stories here and elsewhere of guys that had what seemed to have good homosexual relationships with friends when they were kids, then their friend turned against them for some reason. The friend would go out and tell everyone the other guy was queer, and wouldn't have anything to do with them anymore.

I've always wondered if those guys that turned on their friends after being intimate with them finally came to grips with their homosexual side and are in these forums today? I'd love to hear why they thought they did such a thing, and what brought back their homosexual side after all the years?

I suspect some of those guys probably are in these types of forums, but they may not want to fess up to how they acted as kids. Or, I could be wrong and those guys are also the "bad experience" types that quit it for good?

[sysper]

[QUOTE=fredtyg;290618]

I guess so. I'm sure such sites exist. I'd have to wonder if the gay haters might be bi or homo themselves? As has been pointed out here before, some of us think those who bash queers the most are often queer themselves, or worried that they are.

On a related note of negative experiences back in younger times, I've heard a few stories here and elsewhere of guys that had what seemed to have good homosexual relationships with friends when they were kids, then their friend turned against them for some reason. The friend would go out and tell everyone the other guy was queer, and wouldn't have anything to do with them anymore.

I've always wondered if those guys that turned on their friends after being intimate with them finally came to grips with their homosexual side and are in these forums today? I'd love to hear why they thought they did such a thing, and what brought back their homosexual side after all the years?

I suspect some of those guys probably are in these types of forums, but they may not want to fess up to how they acted as kids. Or, I could be wrong and those guys are also the "bad experience" types that quit it for good?

i agree the biggest homophobes are probably queer some totally gay they can't accept it so they take out their lack of acceptance on those who have accepted. it would just be nice if they accepted this as a natural way to be & have some fun instead i can't comment on ne kinda experementation at a young age i never had ne....i haven't had ne yet actually but that's another topic...........& i never even heard of ne of my friends trying nething at least not with the same sex. not that it didn't happen but i'm kinda sure it didn't.

[whistle1]

Some commenters have noted that if a guy had a bad first time encounter and never got together with another guy after that, they would likely not be on site like this.

That is a valid point.

I think it is also possible that even though they didn't like the expereince and never tried again, they may still have bi feelings/urges.

Therefore, they might still be on bi sites...although there may not many such guys.

[fpb09]

My first time sucking was great, but my first time doing anal to my friend was bad! I understand need to be lubed but felling nothing & he thought he was clean! The smell of scat turn me from rock hard to limb in 20 seconds flat! I know every time is not the same & looking to try again & get paged my self one day!

[sysper]

it's possible some1 might enjoy having bi fantasies/talk but not wanna go farther than that.

[pole_smoker]

it's possible some1 might enjoy having bi fantasies/talk but not wanna go farther than that.

Yes if they are married to a husband or wife, and monogamous.

Or if they're single and a total coward.

[tenni]

it's possible some1 might enjoy having bi fantasies/talk but not wanna go farther than that.

I think that this fantasizing is very very common. For some it takes a long time to accept their sexuality even if they have been watching a lot of same gender sex or even talking on sex lines. Some may never make it live. I think that this may happen regardless of marital status. Some are content with a fantasy. Most regardless of marriage status act on their desires if they are a 3 or more on the Kinsey scale. The 1 and 2 are more likely to keep it a fantasy imo.

I am inclined to think that there are those who find their first same sex make it real experiences find it a bad experience as reality often does not match fantasy. Others find it beyond their expectation. Not sure if the later group have not had a great fantasy about it though.