Where to find Bi discreet guys?

[NNewyork]

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

[jimpgh6969]

I so agree, it does seem to b difficult, I am not out either and don't plan on being, it would nice to find a friend to hang out with and at the end of the day have some fun.

[Realist]

This is a big issue! Being relationship oriented, I can understand wanting to have an LTR with a focus on friendship as well as sex.

I can't believe that someone hasn't come up with something specifically for bisexuals, as successful as one of the matchmaker programs I've seen.

Looking back at my past male lovers, which there have been only a few, I realize that almost everyone of them just fell out of the blue! I've been incredibly lucky, as only one of my mm relationships was less than rewarding.

Don't give up and don't settle for less than you want, would be my advice. There HAS to be someone who is close to you and in the process of wanting the same things.

Good luck!

[djones]

Persistence is the key - and being up front with people from the start (which I assume you are). I've had several first "dates" from this site and others that led to nothing else. After weeding through the mismatches and the flakes, I have met some decent people that fit the description of what you are looking for.

It isn't easy - but worth the time.

Good Luck

[BradNDallas]

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

LOl I am in the same boat as you are...to bad your not in Taxas.

[othercat]

i totaly hear what your saying. its definately an issue for lots of bi guys to hook up. i love being bi, cant imagine being any thing else. iv been on alot of social websites but only met a couple people that i could get together with. unfortunatly iv in person met with some people who turned out to be nothing at all like they described themselves to be and that is a huge turn off and very dicouraging. im hoping this website will be better for me. iv only registeted yesterday and for me its way better than any other bi website iv seen. it seems to be well monitered and actualy and honestly dedicated to bisexuals. you just have to keep trying, and not get too discouraged if things dont work out. i am so much more careful now. i liked to get to know some one realy well before i hook up. maybe also im too particular, but i dont want to comprimise on the things im interested in. just have to search for those who are compatible and have the same specific desires. wishing every one well in their endeavors. wish every one find their perfect match.

[NNewyork]

Thanks all for sharing. I guess that's a common problem for being bi and not out. With a girl I guess, there is no 'social' taboo, I can ask a girl for her number, and hey, if she says yes that's great, if she says no it's something to joke about. But with guys, it's different. I see guys in the street whom I swear get my bi-dar sending alarms, but I just can't approach them, fearing that 10 or 20% possibility that I am wrong. Wish things were a bit less complicated.

I am a nice guy really, and in a way I really don't like being intimiate with anyone without some sort of substance, you know? I admit I did hookup on CL (and funny how easy it is for me to find bi guys then) but I have to say it got old rather quickly and I want a little more.

I once had a short relationship with a gay man, he told me I was 'perfect boyfriend material', but later it had to end as he didn't like a discreet relationship and he felt that he can 'never compete' with a woman, fair enough. That's why, I think a BI guy in a similar situation would understand the most...

[Spaka69]

I have been on this site sense March 2011 with no luck. That's why out of 107k+ registered members only a hand full ever come back to this site, it's pretty boring and it's not user friendly. I think it's more of a talk site for a few regulars to express their opinions. I contacted a few members here that I thought I matched but I didn't even get a no thank you, and when I listed as M/F couple all I got were straight guys wanting to fuck my wife, NO... I have tried Adult Friend Finder with good results but you need to filter a whole lot of flakes and fakes out to find a good one, but you CAN find one. Craigs List is a waste of time, met one guy from 50 replies and he turned out to be fugly, nice body and cock but I just couldn't get past the head and the smashed grill. So my advice would be to use the pay sites and use this site for advice, watch your credit card for unauthorized charges if you do use a pay site. You can't get something for nothing in this world.

[abennyb]

You may try www.squirt.org

The guys there list if they are bi or not. The site seems to cover every country in the western world with many, many from even small geographic areas, especially in Europe and North America. The site also have very powerful search options, including area, preferences (top/bottom) & more. It is not overly pricey at ~ $ 90 per annum and could be worth a try.

You can look for free, but to contact someone requires money. Worth a free visit, or a few. Your choice.

[bikurinpa]

I am in same boat as you, and seem I am only one in my area too I tried all sites and tey are just game players, and if I did find one , he was hundreds miles away! Too bad there is another man in same boat as me here in central Pa

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

[ckman314]

You would think us being guys and always horny and being bi we would all have 5 or 6 regular fuck buddies but it just seems too be that hardest thing too do. Thats all I want a friend a buddy a pal who enjoys me sucking his cock once in a while and vice a versa

[slipnslide]

Grindr

[frontierman2011]

The problem with "Squirt.Org" is that unless you pay the premium, the site becomes very user-unfriendly when the free trial expires. I feel your frustration, my friend and although I'm married and probably don't fit the bill of what you're looking for either, I would love to go around the world with you just once... lol

[keefer201]

I live in the NYC metro area in NJ and it's very easy. A bit of assertiveness goes miles in this area. I said be assertive not agressive.

[virginia123]

No one mentioned www.bisexualplayground.com. It's another obviously bisexual oriented website with people looking to hookup. Don't know a lot about it, other than it is a possible resource for what you are wanting to find. Good luck!

[dm330]

I know how that is. I am a bi 31 year old male and I don't seem to have a problem attracting older bi discreet people, but I'm not into the older crowd. I have difficulty finding guys closer to my age and it may be this area I live in. It seems people my age and younger are still worried about coming out, no matter how discreet the other person may be, but it does seem that as people get older, they're more open about the lifestyle. You're not alone man.

[FinkDoodle]

The best free site I've found is www.adam4adam.com

It's an all-male site but there's a lot of bi men there and it's very user-friendly to those with unpaid memberships. There's more features if you pay, obviously, but it works very well as a free site.

[12voltman59]

You may try www.squirt.org

The guys there list if they are bi or not. The site seems to cover every country in the western world with many, many from even small geographic areas, especially in Europe and North America. The site also have very powerful search options, including area, preferences (top/bottom) & more. It is not overly pricey at ~ $ 90 per annum and could be worth a try.
You can look for free, but to contact someone requires money. Worth a free visit, or a few. Your choice.

I have to second that this site is actually a pretty good place to meet other guys----of course just like with any site and meeting anyone male or female---you do want to put them through your own vetting process, whatever that is.

To make it worthwhile--you do need to get a paid membership---I do it in three month increments and that is not too hard to deal with since its only $30.

Of course--you will find "freaks and geeks"* and such--but you can also find some pretty decent guys there too----I have had very good luck on that site and surely do recommend it.

*No offense to either freaks or geeks--just trying to add a bit of humor to the conversation and that little phrase is sorta funny and surely it rhymes as well.

[orallybi4cpl]

No one mentioned www.bisexualplayground.com. It's another obviously bisexual oriented website with people looking to hookup. Don't know a lot about it, other than it is a possible resource for what you are wanting to find. Good luck!

dont waste your time or money with bisexualplayground

all you have to do is mention another site or your email or yahoo id
and they will kick you off

very unfriendly.. never give them any money

and most of the ads are old.. they will keep your profile there indefinitely
to scam other people into thinking there are more people there than
really are

[jamieknyc]

I have met two guys who were chat friends (sorry no kiss and tell LOL). I dobn't go for CL or other anonymous pickups.

[jhg50]

living in a small town being bi is a must secret. only way sometimes is to be introduced be others in your area. if you live in a small town trust and secrecy is a must sometimes. just keep looking and good luck

[dafydd]

Hi,

I am a single bisexual guy. Handsome fella here, successful, smart, workout, good body, and I think I got my stuff together. One thing about me though is that I am not out re: my bisexual side to anyone.

I am really looking for a guy for friendship +. I don't want a one-time hookup (never had any problem with that anyway but don't want it). I want someone in the same situation, to talk to, hand out with, and potentially have some fun behind closed doors.

For over a year now, I've been trying to find a guy who fits the bit, but have been incredibly unsuccessful. I tried with Craigslist (lots of fakes / mismatches), manhunt (mostly wanted a quick hookup), and bisexual.com (I don't think there are enough members here, or sometimes people just don't log back here often), and did not have any luck.

I know I am not the only person who is looking for such relationship. I live in metro NYC and I know I am not alone. I was wondering, where do you find other bi discreet guys?

This shouldn't be this hard :-). Thanks!

I wouldntt give up on the shagging sites: lots of 'one-time hook up's' develop into something more. People feel hesitant responding to others looking for something more at first. They might not want to commit to something with someone they've never met without first exploring sexual compatability or building up confidence or trust. 'One time hook ups' are just a catch all phrase. It doesnt always follow that these guys won't consider anything more developing. But saying so gives the freedom of a non-pressurised point of contact.
Also don't discount out bi men. Often guys who use the term 'discreet' arent only 'not out', but can (though not always) be in relationships, married, have children, be dealing with issues of internalised homophobia, shame etc. and therefore will be less likely to want more than NSA 'one night stands'. Would you want to add all that messy subterfuge to your life? sometimes i feel 'discreet' is a bit of a euphimism.
What does the idea of 'coming out' look like to you?
could that be a possibility to explore?
you're well placed geographically to explore this, though not sure about your personal situation.

d

[BatCox40]

You would think us being guys and always horny and being bi we would all have 5 or 6 regular fuck buddies but it just seems too be that hardest thing too do. Thats all I want a friend a buddy a pal who enjoys me sucking his cock once in a while and vice a versa

Exactly the case. The greatest difficulty is finding a buddy (or two or more) especially someone close to your local area. I would be interested in anyone from the UK.

[millerlarry]

No one mentioned www.bisexualplayground.com. It's another obviously bisexual oriented website with people looking to hookup. Don't know a lot about it, other than it is a possible resource for what you are wanting to find. Good luck!

thanks for the link...i'll try it

[Bisexual Explorer]

I have been fortunate to find two wonderful, male partners on this website. It did take a while, and there were a few "let's get together for coffee" that didn't work out.

NNewYork your picture is a good start, but not enough. You really should fill out your profile by following Drew's dictum to describe who you are and what you are looking for as accurately as possible. Contact people on this website who have profiles of interest. One of the reasons most of us are here is to find partners, friends, etc. So we are what advertising types call a good target audience. Reading responses to forums, messaging, and chat can give you a pretty good sense whether the people who do respond are at least worthwhile meeting.

With any amount of luck and some persistance, you will find people you want to meet face-to-face and maybe go further.

g

[Bisexual Explorer]

I have been fortunate to find two wonderful, male partners on this website. It did take a while, and there were a few "let's get together for coffee" that didn't work out.

NNewYork your picture is a good start, but not enough. You really should fill out your profile by following Drew's dictum to describe who you are and what you are looking for as accurately as possible. Contact people on this website who have profiles of interest. One of the reasons most of us are here is to find partners, friends, etc. So we are what advertising types call a good target audience. Reading responses to forums, messaging, and chat can give you a pretty good sense whether the people who do respond are at least worthwhile meeting.

With any amount of luck and some persistance, you will find people you want to meet face-to-face and maybe go further.

g

[dafydd]

I once had a short relationship with a gay man, he told me I was 'perfect boyfriend material', but later it had to end as he didn't like a discreet relationship and he felt that he can 'never compete' with a woman, fair enough. That's why, I think a BI guy in a similar situation would understand the most...

I would find it very difficult to date someone who wasn't out. I understand what your ex means in that respect, (hearing the word 'perfect' flags to me a rash judgement).
His other comment is nonsensical: unless you were in a non-monogamous relationship, in which case its worth some analysis.

Q: Do you currently approach women in public, as you would want to do men?
If you don't, then what does the so-called 'social taboo' aspect have to do with you approaching men? If you're not the kind of person who can get numbers from people in the streets (who can?) then the eradication of homophobia won't make any difference.
I don't think it's a social-taboo where I live in London, I am out, and I hold hands in public with male partners.
Yet I *still* don't approach the cute guy sitting opposite me on the train.
I just sit there, stealing looks, and willing a chat box and a keyboard to materiliase. Then he gets off. The ease of the internet enables and disenables us sometimes in equal measure, my friend.
'Pulling' can be a difficult thing to do in itself, no matter our sexuality or society we live in.

best

D

[bi4asplay]

I so wish that I could a single guy/couple for time to time play. Nice if it is more than just a sexual deal. Friends. Go drink a beer, go sailing, have some fun!

[DiamondDog]

Anyone that needs to be discreet or deeply closeted about their sexuality or about being with another person is simply not worth your time. If you are on the internet and read profiles that say someone has to be discreet it means that they are married or partnered and wanting to cheat on their spouse or partner.

[sterculius]

I've had some luck with silverdaddies.com. The name implies older guys but it includes all age groups.