Ever since I was a small boy, the only thing I have ever really wanted in life is just to share love and be loved..surely I can't be the only one out there? I really could not care less about sex right now..mostly because of this .. https://1in6.org/men
Men who took what they wanted destroyed my ability to enjoy sex..and you all have to make a game out of it.
Last edited by elian; Mar 21, 2015 at 10:23 PM.
Nobody is "making a game" out of anything.Originally Posted by elian
Get help, or talk to someone about your own issues.
Wallowing in self pity isn't going to help you.
Last edited by pole_smoker; Mar 21, 2015 at 11:39 PM.
Enjoy your new site, pole_smoker
going up, I was the same, I just wanted to love and be loved..... it took many years to realize that my understanding of love and ability to feel love, was not like they made out in books or in the way that I watched people interact......
it actually required me to learn about myself and the way I understood the world through my eyes before I realised that people saw me as a hard bastard, cold and clinical, distant and never really there, and to me, they were often admitting ( after the relationship ended ) that what they actually saw, was a person with the ability to weather some of the most violent storms in relationships and still stand as strong as a oak.... I simply was not really emotionally and mentally affected or influenced by wants, needs and desires... but when it came to commitment and reliability, honesty and commitment, they had it in spades with some of the most incredible sex some of them had experienced...
the irony of it all was that it was their pleasure that I took pleasure in, I was living a life thru the actions, feelings and desires of others and that brought me more pleasure then anything I could experience within myself......
The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands
Elian, Since puberty I've never been with any male lover who I didn't, first of all, feel there was some genuine feelings of at least caring. Although being needy, sexually as well as emotionally, I would not enter into a relationship, unless I had that warm and fuzzy feeling that my paramour cared for me equally. Unless there was more than a sexual attraction and an indication that the first encounter was not going to be the last, doing anything physical was a NO-GO.
I admit, it would often take me a long time to make up my mind, before that first sexual encounter, so a few of my potential partners lost interest and moved on. But, I'd rather lose them than not have what I wanted. Not being a clinging vine, regardless of how I felt about a person, I learned to let go, when it was obvious the connection was not meant to be.
Most of my same-gender relationships have been mutually romantic, however, I have had a couple of FWB-type of relationships, too, but they're not my preferred type of involvements.
So, I understand your desire for a loving and caring relationship, with anyone you're expecting to be sexually intimate with.
Wallowing in cynicism is worse. I'll take the self pity, at least you don't hate.
POLE SMOKER, U'VE RUINED OUR WEBSITE..........PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND, LEAVE.......................
You're correct I don't hate, and I'm not cynical.
However, it's never good to live completely in the past, and let a traumatic event completely define you as a person the way the original poster has.
Hence, I suggested that he talk to a counselor or therapist about the issue he posted a link to.
Last edited by pole_smoker; Mar 22, 2015 at 7:02 PM.
Elian
What do you mean by "you all have to make a game out of it."
Have fun talking about cock and pussy, and exploiting people for money - I think bisexual people are capable of more than that, but maybe I am wrong..some things are just not worth the energy to find out any more. Thanks for the memories Drew, and thank you for teaching me that bisexual people really do exist.
So sorry to hear it was abusive for you. Although not sexually abused, I am only just realizing my own situation growing up, which was very psychologically and verbally abusive, just about every day. Hit every day and called faggot, homo, queer. Fuck I 'm not even all that bi, just not all that gender-normative. I had set those things aside, and invented a more rose-colored version of childhood. Now I am 40 years old, and the perspective is finally there. I have suppressed the "feminine" side of myself all these years, and the negative impact has followed me through life.
I have a great therapist to talk to about these things, but the site you linked to looks like a very good and supportive thing as well.
In every aspect of life, instead of being cooperative and working as a team to support each other, people take every opportunity to prove they are "just a little better" than everyone else. Those tiny little swipes add up. Been going on for at least 15 years or so now..and it is insidious, it slowly rots away the moral fabric of what it means to be human from the inside out.
We all experience a full range of emotions, and it is okay to describe them, to experience them, but not okay to dwell there forever and use them as a prison for ourselves or others.
Good night sweet prince, where ever you are, for it ain't here..
You do know that "Drew" whoever he/they are runs a porn site, right, and that the majority of people who do porn are prostitutes on the side since this is where they make the majority of their cash.
This is an adult porn, hook up, and sex site.
Last edited by pole_smoker; Mar 23, 2015 at 4:21 AM.
It wasn't always, but if that is what you want it to be, and enough people agree then I suppose that is what it is now.
I think threepillows was the porn site..I'm not sure that's what it's called any more but if that what you really want, I think there's a link to it in the ad banner at the bottom of this page.
Don't fool yourself. This has always been a porn, sex, and hook up site. Looking back through old posts it's obvious that this is since it's a site for adults.
Elian posted a link that he thought would help a bisexual who has been abused as a child. This is in line with the purpose of this bisexual site. This is a bisexual site and an adult site. The linked site is not Bisexual.com. The forum is for discussion on bisexual issues, advice and bisexual political issues as has been stated in other threads. It is acceptable to post adult images that the poster is in or created as the copyright owner of the image.
I assume that the owner of Three Pillows has a contract with the photographer regarding copyright reproduction fees and moral rights of the porn images. The owner of Bisexual.com keeps the image content legal by paying for the reproduction of the images. Anyone posting porn images on this site that they are not paying copyright reproduction fees or own the copyright are immoral cheaters.
Last edited by tenni; Mar 23, 2015 at 9:41 AM.
I think deep down, Elian, everyone wants to be loved and to love. That is something that is just ingrained even in the most obvious trolls. They just don't know it. But how we come to terms with our longing to be loved and to love in this world is how we grow up. We never really lose it totally as we learn the harsh realities but it does become a bit more jaded. All in all I wish you lived closer cause I'd like to give you one hell of a hug, my friend.
What exactly are you going on about again?
You do realize that "Drew" whoever he/they are owns the porn site 3 pillows, right? This site is used simply to get people to hopefully sign up for the porn site "Drew" owns and runs.
I don't care that "Drew" whoever he/they are does this but some people here like the original poster don't like porn, prostitutes-including how the majority of people in porn whore themselves out for cash on the side, and another delusional person thinks it's wrong to post porn pictures on an adult sex/hook up site yet has a personal ad looking for guys to hook up with.
Last edited by pole_smoker; Mar 23, 2015 at 1:03 PM.
Hey DD!
I haven't seen you in ages! (I saw your sweet reply to Elian...I agree)
How are you doing? Making any progress toward the big move?
Anyway, hope it warming up in in the blue grass.
Hope LDD and you're both doing well.
Oh, by the way, your private message box if full!
hugs.......
Oh, I like pleasure, but I have had more than my fill of insecure, selfish men who only think about satisfying themselves. The thing that attracts me most is if a person is thoughtful, kind, compassionate.. Those are qualities I find more erotic then what is between the legs. If I feel secure with that person I am actually very open to sharing pleasure and affection
Human subjugation is the exact opposite of that. It is something that I vehemently oppose .. you caught me on a bad day..
O trust me, Elian, u luffly man, a lickle human subjugation dus ya gud.. well.. me ne wayAn' trust me on this an all, it is perfectly possible 2 b subjugated and luffed.... depends of course the degree 2 wich the subjugation goes.... an wer it happens... but as a frequent subjugatee 2 love, I find it luffly...
Last edited by darkeyes; Mar 24, 2015 at 7:52 AM.
Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.
In a way that's true Fran, if the person doing the "pinning" knows their own strength and is willing at some point to show mercy or kindness, fire, desire - it can be erotic but if all they are is selfish or egotistical then the situation can become abusive in a hurry.
In a way I have to thank pole_smoker, because he was a catalyst that started a change for the better. I am now weighing the idea of just how much of my desire is truly for the same sex vs. just a craving for male attention while growing up. Of course, in true bisexual fashion I find that I am attracted to certain people, regardless of gender. Maybe that's just how human beings are - we all have friends we admire, right?
The trouble with being bisexual, even if I didn't start this way is the only thing I've ever known is that I love both men and women - so I think it's perfectly natural to do that.. I'm not sure if the thought ever crosses the mind of a "straight" person to love their same sex friends enough to want to pleasure them.. By the definition of the word they would no longer be "straight" at that point, if anyone cared.
I mean I have heard of gay or lesbian folks having children with a heterosexual spouse before the realized they were gay so I have to assume it happens..people seem to be a lot more flexible than the labels you can put on them.
How strange..the universe is funny, every time you try to pin down an idea, it moves. Maybe if I was 100% comfortable with my sexuality, and everyone else didn't care what I was it wouldn't matter.
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts everybody..
Last edited by elian; Mar 25, 2015 at 11:37 PM.
box cleared, some progress, doing well and hugs back
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