So, How does your bisexuality "work" in your life?

[Gearbox]

Me daughter called me otha day summat I have called me own mum since I wos 'bout the same age... in mid paddie she called me "old bag"!! Well ya cudda knocked me down wiv a feather.... u ole fart an me ole bag.. life dus pass us by hey? But look on the bright side.... ya dont have psychological probs ne more.. and I nev did....

My little angel banned me from dancing in front of her friends since she was 5yo. Some times they don't have to call you names, to let you know what they think of you.lol
Well IMO you know you're doing a good job when you are an embarrassment to your kids. That's what I tell myself anyway.

[cuttin2dachase]

I am a very closeted bisexual swinger by choice. I love having a secret side which is only shared with those men, women and couples I am fortunate enough to meet for fun sex. Been there and done the marriage ltr thing twice now and never again want my sexual desires constrained in that way. 'My' bisexuality works to excite me and provide delicious anticipation of my new sexual encounters. This secret, taboo, erotic world of pleasure is out there for anyone who is patient, selective and brave enough to seek it out. If I ever reach the point where I don't feel absolutely lustful and naughty when playing with other men and couples, I'll hang up my bi swinger spurs and maybe settle for monogamous, hetero vanilla sex again. I suppose the next worse thing to that would be total celibacy LOL

[12voltyV2.0]

I think as a lot of folks here do that sometimes 3 way relationships or experiences are something we look to as a hopeful opportunity. 12volty may not agree but that's okay, we are all different. However for me, I see my bisexuality as part of a curiousity and also a need to be intimate with others possibly same sex or not.

I wish society were different though regarding sex and sexuality. We have placed so many rules on ourselves that we try to follow, yet I am not sure we truly believe.

When I said what I did--I was speaking STRICTLY for MYSELF----just that doing this has no appeal for ME for the reasons I stated---but if it works for others----GREAT!!!

The title of the thread asks how bisexuality gets played out in each of our lives---I was merely stating what I felt about this subject--at least at this point in time--I was not trying to say that others should feel, act or do what I say---I was just trying to lay out my feelings on the matter and also trying to get others to share how they define bisexuality for themselves and how it plays out in their lives or at least they would like it to do so at some point.

[JUSTLUVIN]

When I said what I did--I was speaking STRICTLY for MYSELF----just that doing this has no appeal for ME for the reasons I stated---but if it works for others----GREAT!!!

The title of the thread asks how bisexuality gets played out in each of our lives---I was merely stating what I felt about this subject--at least at this point in time--I was not trying to say that others should feel, act or do what I say---I was just trying to lay out my feelings on the matter and also trying to get others to share how they define bisexuality for themselves and how it plays out in their lives or at least they would like it to do so at some point.

I understand 12Volty, I was just adding to the conversation. So good to hear everyone's views on how it affects their lives.

[Long Duck Dong]

this kinda a hard question to be honest....... because I do not really see people in terms of male and female, I tend to see people more in terms of possibilities and experiences.....

its part of why I tend to see myself as more omnisexual than bisexual as I will see a person rather than a gender and I do not feel a need for cock and pussy, I feel a attraction to a person and what ever will be, will be......I actually perfer a mental and emotional interaction that can enhance a sexual one, rather than a sexual interaction for my mental and emotional state of mind.....

I function best in a 3 person situation that is long term because I am fluid and ever changing and what may appeal to me in the morning, may not interest me in the afternoon.....and the better option is a f/m/f situation rather than a m/f/m or m/m/m situation, simply because I tend to find that the ego and testorone driven males tend to rub me up the wrong way a lot.....

sex for me, is mostly a physical act without emotions and thought so a long term multiple person situation is more about the social interaction every day rather than the sexual aspects, and I perfer seeing sex as a art form and experiment rather than omg I am sucking a cock or eating a pussy.... I like sex to be a different experience each day..... IE today I could deep throat a cock and tomorrow I may hold it in my mouth and just use my tongue and hum...... its all about the experimenting rather than the act itself

casual sex is not really my thing as I perfer long term * experiments * lol... kinda like there is 365 days in the year so I am curious how many times making love is possible a day, how many possible times my partner can come in one day, how many different ways can I help them come in one day, etc....

[darkeyes]

I function best in a 3 person situation that is long term because I am fluid and ever changing and what may appeal to me in the morning, may not interest me in the afternoon.....and the better option is a f/m/f situation rather than a m/f/m or m/m/m situation, simply because I tend to find that the ego and testorone driven males tend to rub me up the wrong way a lot.....

The entire post had me giggling out loud wen I read it.. have had 2 use self control an' snigger 2 mesel'... is ok... am ver gud at that....but nowt had me giggling quite like the above... ver typically male... u an' 2 girls, hey? Well.... Seems 2 me, Duckie, that u fit in ver well wiv those ego an' testosterone driven males of wich u speak and slag off is wot I glean from those words... most of them, str8 or bi wud invariably prefer 2 (or more) gels than ne oth combination for ther nookie... most of them 2 try and intellectualise wy... they 2 fall flat on ther faces an' give me a gud laff... but not usyally quite as much as u have given me this mornin'..

.. if its ne comfort 2 ya, I 2 wud prefer 2 gels or more or less.... but in my case no otha combination gets a look in...

[Realist]

I hate it when I agree with anything Fran says, but, she's right...few virile men can keep two women sated, on a daily basis!

As a young 23 year old airman, I began dating an older bisexual lady (39) who lived with a younger girl. At some point, we all became intimate. BUT, if the two women hadn't been lovers, I probably would have died of heart failure long before I was 24!

The older one was definitely in the prime of her life and could have easily provided all of the intimacy I could withstand! I was also in my prime and as sexually capable as I would ever be. I was slim, active, ran and boxed, ate the right things and drank very little.

I spent every spare minute with them for two years and could not have chosen a better couple to be with. However, by the time I was 25, I felt I was aging rapidly and found myself making excuses for being too tired and drained! At the same time, I had male acquaintances, with whom I could have shared sex, there was no energy left for them!

I loved both women; they were magnificent in almost every way....not jealous, attentive, shared many of the same interests; really, a dream relationship. But, I've wondered how long I could have maintained that pace?

Luckily, I met the girl, who would become my 1st wife and we all agreed that it was time for me to move on. I did so, with their blessing.

Trust me, it would be much more realistic for two men to have one female lover, than the way I did it!

Regarding bisexual arrangements:

Prior to my adventures with the two ladies, I had two attempts at poly relationships. One failed, for reasons that both Volty and Melody surmised; We didn't come to an agreement beforehand, nor did we set any parameters. We just jumped in! The husband, who initiated the original merger, was the first to become jealous, thus after about 60 days, it was over.

The 2nd attempt turned out of be one of the best relationships of my entire life! We were ideally matched in temperament, interests and desires. I've often wondered, if circumstances hadn't intervened, if we might still be together? We ended up with 13 months of the best that this sort of a poly connection could provide!

Although, I've had a few other relationships that were both successful and not, I learned my capabilities and limits. (Clint East wood says: "One must realize his limitations!)

I presently am in a relationship with a magnificent lady, who I met right here a little over 6 years ago, and a younger male. We do not live together, nor do we share. But, we are all in agreement and there are no secrets, or jealousy issues. This has turned out to be the best, yet.

Each of us have emotional and sensual goals and I doubt if we're ever totally satisfied, but I'm certainly as close as I've ever been, right now!

[wildnorthman]

My sexuality was something I learned about after years of searching. I always tried to please others growing up. Get married they said. Have kids they said. So I did and it all blew up in my face. I was living a lie, kidding myself about what life is. Am I gay? Am I straight? What the hell am I? How do I find out things I evidently don't know? I went to a therapist who gently advised me to find some books on the subject of sexuality, so I did. But I had to drive 160 miles to find a bookstore that had the items I needed, and more importantly, doing without someone I knew seeing me do it. In my small town, very conservative and judgmental, asking such questions made you an outsider. Also I had a cousin that worked at the library and I could see her telling my folks, my other relatives, hell, anyone, about my book choices. So I had to buy some books, do some reading, think hard about what I wanted. Little by little, reading, chatting, learning, I realized my niche in life was definitely bisexual. I just felt so good about finding some info on one of the most important things in my life. I could never divulge this to anyone at work, because in a small town paper mill, you would be labeled and harshly. You would get the bad shifts at work, be scrutinized severely and well you can guess the rest. The things done to your car, your locker, to you in the shower, the hateful words, the looks and I hate drama, but I love me. Once I realized who I am, what I am, I married another woman who I completely was honest with and she was cool with it. When we are together, it is great. When I get the urge to be with a man, I proceed with care. I have spent enough of my life seeing people hurt other people over just being who they are. I just want to love and enjoy and learn and grow and let all the stupid bigotry wash past me. Being Bi is great as Woody Allen once said. Love to you all!

[12voltyV2.0]

i am glad that there is some good discussion going on here----it looks like till the chat room comes back again---heaven only knows when that might be---we will have to rely on the forum board as our way of communicating on here.

[Long Duck Dong]

The entire post had me giggling out loud wen I read it.. have had 2 use self control an' snigger 2 mesel'... is ok... am ver gud at that....but nowt had me giggling quite like the above... ver typically male... u an' 2 girls, hey? Well.... Seems 2 me, Duckie, that u fit in ver well wiv those ego an' testosterone driven males of wich u speak and slag off is wot I glean from those words... most of them, str8 or bi wud invariably prefer 2 (or more) gels than ne oth combination for ther nookie... most of them 2 try and intellectualise wy... they 2 fall flat on ther faces an' give me a gud laff... but not usyally quite as much as u have given me this mornin'..

.. if its ne comfort 2 ya, I 2 wud prefer 2 gels or more or less.... but in my case no otha combination gets a look in...

lol not sure where your mind is but I was not thinking of being the owner of a harem lol

by two females, I was thinking as a sexual or non sexual situation.... kinda like as I have said to DD a few times, I would have loved to live in a house with her and my sister ( if my sister had not passed away )....and something that would have been very special to me, would have been things like being able to stand in the kitchen in the morning and give them both a hug and tell them how special they are... DD would be my sexual partner, skye would have been the non sexual person tho she could be sexual with anything else.....but they would both be special to me as people in my life and more than just bed warmers / sex partners, and besides they have the right of choice with whom they do or do not have sex with.... so equal voice and choice would be a big part of the situation

by the ego and testorone part, I was refering to the thinking of some males that view things in terms of their rights to sex come first and that is what the other people are there for..... I have dealt with people that have seen me as their sex toy and tried to push that on me, with a outcome that was not in their favour..... but I am open minded and open to situations where there is a dom person and I am the sub person as it can be quite enjoyable to be a sub but I mean that from the point of view of a partner that has me wanting to surrender to them, rather than a person that wants me to surrender to them so they can collar me, hit me etc etc.....

I perfer a more balanced lifestyle where there is ebb and flow in relationships and the idea that I would be the *MAN * and the females are my * bitches * is something that goes against my nature and beliefs, which are " I can stand beside a woman but not equal to her "... and thats basically saying that there are differences between the male and female that allow us to compliment and enhance us as a person but the differences also mean that we have our own unique qualities that stand out......

thats why I was putting the emphasis on the emotional and mental aspects are more important to me than the sexual and that its a long term situation ( I would rather have a long term non sexual situation than multiple short term / casual sex with multiple partner situations because there is less chance of a emotional and mental connect with casual sex / hook ups )

a long term situation with serrin and one of my best male friends, is possible because the guy is a easy going guy and also tends to see people as people and perfers long term situations where sex is not the main reason for the situation....... the fact that he is also gay does not really come into it for me, because thats his personal space and thinking ..... he has had sex with GFs in the past and been married, he just chooses to ID as gay because he is not interested in or looking for female companionship or a female partner but that may change in the future ( his own words )......

so yeah there is a difference between the way that people are seeing what I am saying and how I actually live.... I am focusing more on the love, emotion and interaction between people while others are seeing it more as a sexual situation where the male is the kingpin...... the reality is I would rather be in the middle as the fluid ( dom/sub ) with people that are also dom/sub in nature, rather than a fixed I am dom or sub and the others are dom or sub.....

I think you understand that part, fran..... there are times that kate takes control and other times that you take control and it balances out for the most part.....

[Jorja]

I am a single female and do not label myself bisexual.I am just a sexual being. Is there a name for that?? LOL Although I do enjoy sex with woman and men, I prefer men hands down. The preference I have for woman unfortunately is a 'stranger' one. Meaning, I will be with a woman if and when I go to a swingers club or some other form of sexual pleasure in groups. I have tried a mmf with a friend and like volty said, it can change people!!! The threesome was my friends idea, her and her boyfriend had never done it nor had she had sex with a woman. I said, sure, get out the tequila and lets do it!! Then came the rules...I couldnt kiss or fuck her boyfriend. Oral only, same as him for me. So....I walked away pretty unsatisfied. A threesome should not be something done to save a marriage, talking about it and your wants and needs will do that. Being honest and having open communication are key. I tell my guys upfront what my wants and needs are, I do not seek out or date woman for obvious reasons lol oh the drama...being bisexual seems to be more awkward for men to come clean about, I feel that they should be honest with who they are right from the beginning and damn anyone that doesnt understand, so many of my married guy friends complain after they wed that the sex sucks, well, didn't it suck before you married her? If not, then she is bullshitting you and if so, why the hell did you marry her only to complain and/or cheat?? :P

[csreef]

How does your Bisexuality "work" in your life?... Well, after I had become comfortable with having sex with men, I became comfortable with me being Bisexual, and my LIFE BALANCED OUT! It was as if you took a great weight off of my shoulders, I became more relaxed, and more creative in so many ways. I also accepted myself FOR WHO I AM! No more self doubts about my sexuality, No Regrets ...Lots more confidence!

[sysper]

How does your Bisexuality "work" in your life?... Well, after I had become comfortable with having sex with men, I became comfortable with me being Bisexual, and my LIFE BALANCED OUT! It was as if you took a great weight off of my shoulders, I became more relaxed, and more creative in so many ways. I also accepted myself FOR WHO I AM! No more self doubts about my sexuality, No Regrets ...Lots more confidence!

congratulations! i wish everybody was as comfortable & accepting of there own sexuality as u! i'm not quite there yet but i'm getting there

[Lisa (va)]

Been pondering this since you posted it Volty (hugs). Nice to know I am not the only one who prefers romantic/sexual encounters on a one to one basis. My personal opinion is most threesomes are much better in fantasy than reality (ya'll can slam me later). As far as how my being bi works in my life: I never really thought the fact I am bi was/is a great factor in determining who I am and how I interact with others.
Best that works for me is loving my partner, be it male or female.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

[darkeyes]

lol not sure where your mind is but I was not thinking of being the owner of a harem lol

by two females, I was thinking as a sexual or non sexual situation.... kinda like as I have said to DD a few times, I would have loved to live in a house with her and my sister ( if my sister had not passed away )....and something that would have been very special to me, would have been things like being able to stand in the kitchen in the morning and give them both a hug and tell them how special they are... DD would be my sexual partner, skye would have been the non sexual person tho she could be sexual with anything else.....but they would both be special to me as people in my life and more than just bed warmers / sex partners, and besides they have the right of choice with whom they do or do not have sex with.... so equal voice and choice would be a big part of the situation

by the ego and testorone part, I was refering to the thinking of some males that view things in terms of their rights to sex come first and that is what the other people are there for..... I have dealt with people that have seen me as their sex toy and tried to push that on me, with a outcome that was not in their favour..... but I am open minded and open to situations where there is a dom person and I am the sub person as it can be quite enjoyable to be a sub but I mean that from the point of view of a partner that has me wanting to surrender to them, rather than a person that wants me to surrender to them so they can collar me, hit me etc etc.....

I perfer a more balanced lifestyle where there is ebb and flow in relationships and the idea that I would be the *MAN * and the females are my * bitches * is something that goes against my nature and beliefs, which are " I can stand beside a woman but not equal to her "... and thats basically saying that there are differences between the male and female that allow us to compliment and enhance us as a person but the differences also mean that we have our own unique qualities that stand out......

thats why I was putting the emphasis on the emotional and mental aspects are more important to me than the sexual and that its a long term situation ( I would rather have a long term non sexual situation than multiple short term / casual sex with multiple partner situations because there is less chance of a emotional and mental connect with casual sex / hook ups )

a long term situation with serrin and one of my best male friends, is possible because the guy is a easy going guy and also tends to see people as people and perfers long term situations where sex is not the main reason for the situation....... the fact that he is also gay does not really come into it for me, because thats his personal space and thinking ..... he has had sex with GFs in the past and been married, he just chooses to ID as gay because he is not interested in or looking for female companionship or a female partner but that may change in the future ( his own words )......

so yeah there is a difference between the way that people are seeing what I am saying and how I actually live.... I am focusing more on the love, emotion and interaction between people while others are seeing it more as a sexual situation where the male is the kingpin...... the reality is I would rather be in the middle as the fluid ( dom/sub ) with people that are also dom/sub in nature, rather than a fixed I am dom or sub and the others are dom or sub.....

I think you understand that part, fran..... there are times that kate takes control and other times that you take control and it balances out for the most part.....

In a way, Duckie, I was being playful... but I have me own view of what u said and it fits into the mould of the sexuality of str8 and bi man.. that isn't meant as a slight at all, but a recognition, or at least a view, that u are much more typical of ur gender than u have ever admitted..and there is nothing wrong with that at all. Ur first post kinda gives u away..

... do Kate and I alternate control? Hmmm.. now that us summat 2 think about... sexually, who is in control, the domme or the sub? And sexually that is our relationship... Most wud say the former but is that really true? And if it is not who really is domme and who sub?

..in life? We discuss things far 2 much and too deeply and come to decisions to consider them in terms of control... there is no struggle for control... there was possibly... tho there has never been either domme or sub in our everyday relationship.. but the opening up of our relationship has ended any struggle for control which may 1ce have existed... and besides, we have far too much love, liking and personal respect for each other.

[sysper]

Been pondering this since you posted it Volty (hugs). Nice to know I am not the only one who prefers romantic/sexual encounters on a one to one basis. My personal opinion is most threesomes are much better in fantasy than reality (ya'll can slam me later). As far as how my being bi works in my life: I never really thought the fact I am bi was/is a great factor in determining who I am and how I interact with others.
Best that works for me is loving my partner, be it male or female.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

tbh i would like to try a 3sum, all combinations even mfm..........i think it would be hard to interact with both sexes @ the same time....but i've never done it & some aspects of it do sound pretty hot. not sure if i would wanna keep on trying, i would probably not turn it down but after trying it out i probably wouldn't go out of my way to look for 1.