"A nutload" so to speak

[Annika L]

My partner and I just got back from shopping for Thanksgiving (which we're hosting this year for both our families). We'd wanted some mixed nuts for appetizers, and had pondered a while over just getting a can of Planters nuts, or getting the somewhat more expensive ones from bulk food that had no peanuts (just amazing-looking cashews, walnuts, pecans, brazil nuts, hazelnuts, and almonds).

We settled on the bulk ones, and I went about scooping them out while my partner went on for the next item. The nuts looked so good, I must have scooped a bit more than I'd thought. 'Cause when we got home, my partner hefted this huge bag out of the grocery bag and said "whoa! That's a whole nutload of nuts!"

"Heh," I thought to myself...I guess women *do* use that expression after all!





Note: No nuts were busted in the telling of this story. If you found this story boring, stupid, insufficiently titillating, or lacking in relevance to bisexuality, I don't care: put me on ignore; I'm going to keep posting shit you don't want to read until your eyeballs turn black.

[AGuyIKnow]

This is the only place that I've heard that expression used.

I'm going to keep posting shit you don't want to read until your eyeballs turn black.

Don't forget to include irrelevant polls that only include answers you want to hear.

[Annika L]

This is the only place that I've heard that expression used.

Hmmm...which expression? "Nutload of nuts?" (she was less than thrilled to hear that I'd quoted her on here, tee hee hee!) Or "...until your eyeballs turn black?"

Honestly, I'd never heard the whole "bust your nut" thing before either. Actually, I'd heard it as an expression of onerous work: "he really busted his nut to get the report out on time." So when I saw it used to mean "get off" (or whatever it was used to mean), I was somewhat taken aback. My partner said she'd heard guys describing cumming as "nutting" before *quirk*. Who knew?

The things you can learn on this site! Hell, before coming here, I never realized an asshole could type, let alone form semi-coherent sentences!

[Long Duck Dong]

Hmmm...which expression? "Nutload of nuts?" (she was less than thrilled to hear that I'd quoted her on here, tee hee hee!) Or "...until your eyeballs turn black?"

Honestly, I'd never heard the whole "bust your nut" thing before either. Actually, I'd heard it as an expression of onerous work: "he really busted his nut to get the report out on time." So when I saw it used to mean "get off" (or whatever it was used to mean), I was somewhat taken aback. My partner said she'd heard guys describing cumming as "nutting" before *quirk*. Who knew?

The things you can learn on this site! Hell, before coming here, I never realized an asshole could type, let alone form semi-coherent sentences!

ROFLMAO........... I love it.....

[DrBimind]

Then there was the time "I helped my uncle jack off the roof"....LOL Expressions, colloquialisms, innuendos come and go but some become classic...or no class at all LOL but we're all guilty of using them. HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING EVERYONE

[nomorenomore]

Even more so when they are international colloquialisms. Take a cigarette in England is called a fag. So I used to tease my buddy every time he lit up, sucking on another fag eh! He would get so ripped being quite homophobic. The best was a cooking show on PBS many years back. It was called The Galloping Gourmet. He was an Englishman who loved to cook while sipping his wine. Well, it was Christmas time and he was putting together a traditional Christmas dinner. As he kept explaining what they were putting together, the cameramen kept busting up laughing. He would have to pause while they composed themselves. He would continue on and soon as he mentioned the dish again, they would bust up. Finally, they came to a place to take a break and he said they would be right back and while they cut away he would find out what was so funny. When they came back, he was red faced and quickly changed the name of the dish to a more mundane name. The traditional dish that caused such snickering?? Spotted Dick.

[Gearbox]

It's my bro's birthday today. His wife was talking about work and how she usually has it off on his birthday. TMI!
I don't know why 'having it off' means 'sexual intercourse' here, most things just do.lol

[Realist]

OK, that's it...I Quit!

Annika's tasteless, sexist, diatribe about nuts, is obviously a thinly disguised verbal poke at the male, anatomy!!

I'm sorely offended and may have to enter therapy, because of it!

I hope you're satisfied, now!

[Melody Dean]

OK, that's it...I Quit!

Annika's tasteless, sexist, diatribe about nuts, is obviously a thinly disguised verbal poke at the male, anatomy!!

I'm sorely offended and may have to enter therapy, because of it!

I hope you're satisfied, now!

Oh, don't be such a boob!

[elian]

I hope you're satisfied, now!

Not yet, but give me a massage, some scented candles, a bubble bath and about 10 minutes or so..

[Annika L]

I'm sorely offended and may have to enter therapy, because of it!

I hope you're satisfied, now!

Damn, I was going to suggest that if offense is the only way you're sore, then I'm probably not satisfied *rolls eyes at self*. Fortunately, Elian already beat me to the tasteless rejoinder.

Come on, I could have made it far worse: describing my partner hefting the enormous nut-bag; using "she ejaculated 'whoa! that's a whole nutload of nuts!'", instead of "said"; talking about just *how* good the nuts looked to me, and what about them was so darned appealing.... I also said not a single word about how we flirted mercilessly with the cute check-out guy (it was hilarious; we made him late in ending his shift, and he thanked us for it and told us it was "totally worth it", LOL).

I think I exercised some pretty damned impressive restraint...be sure to describe that to your therapist as well, dear!! *hugs*

[DuckiesDarling]

Giggles as I read, thanks Annika, needed the laugh. Nice to see some humor on the board again. Realist *hugs* so much therapy needed so little time in a day.

[Realist]

What is this, PICK ON THE OLDTIMER DAY?

Then, Elian joins the pack to tear me asunder, like the cowardly fox!! Vicious!

Just wait until Drew returns...you'll all be BANNED!

[Annika L]

Just wait until Drew returns...you'll all be BANNED!

Then who'll carry the mail??

[DuckiesDarling]

Thought Realist liked foxes.. or being foxed or hey foxy lady........... sorry PSY moment.

[Realist]

Just re-read my comments on this thread...sober, this time. Embarrassing!

One should not attempt to write, while (slightly) inebriated!

Scotch, does not make one more intelligent, although it does make some people more desirable!

[darkeyes]

Cognac and plonk do that for me realist...... but u r right.. we should avoid writing wile sloshed!!! But like most of us, it is summat I have been known 2 do....... far 2 often if less so in recent years and not at all in last few months... dusnt it just get us in bother all 2 frequently?

[darkeyes]

Thought Realist liked foxes.. or being foxed or hey foxy lady........... sorry PSY moment.

...ahhh the luffly adorable Foxy(Roxy)... wer r u these days I wonda

[Melody Dean]

Just re-read my comments on this thread...sober, this time. Embarrassing!

One should not attempt to write, while (slightly) inebriated!

Scotch, does not make one more intelligent, although it does make some people more desirable!

We should stage an intervention... primarily because you didn't share your scotch!

[Boondock72]

Well, I guess " sometimes you feel like a nut!!!" haahhahaaha!!!

[Annika L]

We should stage an intervention... primarily because you didn't share your scotch!

Oh, no, no, dear. You can't expect a person to share their Scotch...unless they know damned well that it will be appreciated as much as they appreciate it. That's the Golden Rule of Scotch.

[Annika L]

Just re-read my comments on this thread...sober, this time. Embarrassing!

One should not attempt to write, while (slightly) inebriated!

Scotch, does not make one more intelligent, although it does make some people more desirable!

My dear man...having consumed Scotch does not make one more intelligent, certainly. But there mere fact that you drink it at all *does imply* intelligence! Would you at least share with us precisely *what* Scotch caused this degree of paranoia and self-pity?

[Realist]

Famous Grouse, Annika.

Now, leave me alone and quit picking on me!!

[Annika L]

Famous Grouse is our favorite rail Scotch! (As opposed to a large array of single-malts we use for sipping neat.) When we were in Scotland several years ago, another guest at a B&B was telling us about how it's his favorite, and he always calls it "the low flyer", 'cause it's a low-shelf booze. We tried it when we got back to the States, and had to agree...you couldn't beat it for the price! Now that price seems to be going up...I don't suppose that's your doing? (ok, ok, I take that back...I'm not pickin'!)

Anyway...good choice!

[darkeyes]

Oh, no, no, dear. You can't expect a person to share their Scotch...unless they know damned well that it will be appreciated as much as they appreciate it. That's the Golden Rule of Scotch.

According 2 me l8 dad the golden rules of Scotch drinkin' is never 2 spill it, never nick some1 else's, never put owt in it 'cept water or more whisky and never more water than the original measure of hooch and always bring in the New Year wiv ur fave dram.... wich is wy I always bring it in wiv Courvoisier... so 'is final rule wos bring up ya daughters wiv more gud sense than 2 drink "foreign muck..."

Ya go 2 Lidl or Aldi supermarkets here Annika... 7 quid a bottle for some of ther hooch... not the gr8est of stuff... but better (just) than drinkin' meths... even the larger supermarkets sell whisky at 11 quid for 70cl or 13 for a litre of Grants.. Grouse isnt that dear add 2 or 3 pounds on... it's coming up to Crimbo and New Year hols and alcohol is quite heavly discounted.. espesh whisky.. blends tho some discounting in malts 2... even (yum yum) on me Cognac.. sadly however, Fran's consumption is at present heavily curtailed for obvious reasons... glass of red per day and will continue to be over the hols... but I shall still bring in the bells with me Courvoisier.. but after that not much more... isn't killing me exactly all this near abstinence, but it is getting on me wick..

Ne way.. as a non fan of my country's national drink, does that make me thick? Me dad didn't say thick zactly... stupid was more his turn of phrase....

[Melody Dean]

Ne way.. as a non fan of my country's national drink, does that make me thick? Me dad didn't say thick zactly... stupid was more his turn of phrase....

What's the American national liquor, bourbon? If so, that's one of the few I don't drink, because I'm allergic to corn. But I'd rather have scotch anyway. Right now my brand of choice has been Scapa. Reasonably priced compared. My bartender turned me on to it. And oh, I love me some Cognac too!

[darkeyes]

What's the American national liquor, bourbon? If so, that's one of the few I don't drink, because I'm allergic to corn. But I'd rather have scotch anyway. Right now my brand of choice has been Scapa. Reasonably priced compared. My bartender turned me on to it. And oh, I love me some Cognac too!

We have a second national drink an' all, Melody.. or at least a national soft drink... massacres coke and pepsi at the box office as it were.. neither can get near the sales of Irn-Bru..brewed by Barrs, it's a kind of orangy gold and yummie... Scottish kids drink it by the gallon.. adults keep a bottle by the bedside for the morning after the nite before... guzzle 1 haff pint glass.. 2 if u r in a partic awful state of a morn...and 2 paracetamol wiv it ya's soon as rite as rain!!! I swear by it.. so does me partner tho she usually needs it moren me... even in normal times...

Coca Cola has spent millions trying to catch up... 2 no avail... tho it dus flog a lot, it's nower near IrnBru cos as a hangova cure it is garbage.. tastes rotten an all...

http://www.agbarr.co.uk/ces_brands.n...s-irn-bru.html

Yum yum...

[Annika L]

An update: My parents, my sister and her family, and my partner's mom descended on our house yesterday. And I had some of those lovely nuts in my mouth. I also enjoyed a nice fat bit of summer sausage...all while cooking, of course (and drinking wine and socializing).

We did eventually sit down to a fairly traditional Thanksgiving dinner, and we had a really lovely time. My partner and I are both so thankful that her mom was able and willing to join us (nuts and sausage aside...she abstained from those). Just 2 years ago, it would not have been possible. But with her father passed away (and having finally accepted his daughter's life choices shortly before that happened), her mother was able to spend the day and socialize happily with my parents (who had inexplicably also been partially blamed for the corruption of their daughter) and the rest of us.

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And Fran? How is it that we could have spent 12 days in Scotland and never saw or heard of IrnBru? Damn it that cinches it...we *have* to make another trip over!

[darkeyes]

An update: My parents, my sister and her family, and my partner's mom descended on our house yesterday. And I had some of those lovely nuts in my mouth. I also enjoyed a nice fat bit of summer sausage...all while cooking, of course (and drinking wine and socializing).

We did eventually sit down to a fairly traditional Thanksgiving dinner, and we had a really lovely time. My partner and I are both so thankful that her mom was able and willing to join us (nuts and sausage aside...she abstained from those). Just 2 years ago, it would not have been possible. But with her father passed away (and having finally accepted his daughter's life choices shortly before that happened), her mother was able to spend the day and socialize happily with my parents (who had inexplicably also been partially blamed for the corruption of their daughter) and the rest of us.

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And Fran? How is it that we could have spent 12 days in Scotland and never saw or heard of IrnBru? Damn it that cinches it...we *have* to make another trip over!

Adverts on telly every day.. dunno how u cudda missed them Annika... adverts in press and mags. billboards.. every supermarket and offie, lickle corner shop, newsagent.. every pub just about has Irn-bru usually in cans or bottle but often on draught...most cafes, coffee bars, even restaurants and hotels often have it in mini bars.. how u missed it? God knos.. unless u wer in bed all day every day and didnt eat or drink... or left ur eyes at home... even then u wud smell it.. have a blind friend who can smell it from a 10 metres away..... next time.. bring ur eyes or at least open them... do the rounds of just about ne wer and ther it will b... readily available for getting shot of ur hangovas.. and mind the paracetamol.. the 2 together r best hangova cure known to human kind.....

U can get it south of the border and elsewer but am afraid the rest of the UK r lost causes.. like rest of the world, coke got 2 them first a century or so ago and so, well.. poor sods dont kno a gud thing wen its shoved unda ther noses... but they r slowly learning I am glad 2 say..

[larrywilldo]

I am having a hard time trying to jack off as I read this thread.