What do you like about the threads content the way that they have been recently( in the past six months)?
What do you dislike about the threads content recently (in the past six months)?
Just dealing with content, how can we (bisexual community) improve the threads? (if they are perfect let us know)
These are my own personal feelings and in no way am I attempting to speak for anyone else:
What do you like about the threads content the way that they have been recently( in the past six months)?
I feel that, if everyone were more polite and respectful, more interesting and intelligent people would join...and stay. I think many of the Thread subjects are overly graphic and vulgar. A more timid person, or easily offended one, seeking answers and maybe friendship (but not used to that kind of language) might decide this is no place for them.
What do you dislike about the threads content recently (in the past six months)?
I dislike infantile multiple posting, the use of extremely graphic language on Thread subject lines, and constant reprisals against anyone who displeases another member. Disagreements are fine, but one is much more apt to get their point across, if replies aren't confrontational and personal.
Just dealing with content, how can we (bisexual community) improve the threads? (if they are perfect let us know)
I think the way the site was set up is fine, but there should be a monitor who will quickly ban trolls and those who go make it a point to go afoul of the published rules of the site. It's obvious to me that some people go out of their way to destroy the rapport and cohesion of the site.
I'm beginning to see why the majority of people are getting sick and tired of pole_smoker and his polls for him to jack off to. I like reading the Threads but it just gets tiresome of having the same person flooding the Threads with nonsense polls. I do enjoy the good Threads like this one that makes sense. I do feel like there should be less bashing and more coming together. I was doing my bashing a few months ago and it was getting very unpleasant going on this site. I know I was responsible for majority of this uncomfortable bashing. I do apologize but it's not just me to blame.
There are so many others bashing other people on this site and honestly, have any of us actually met in person? How do any of us truly know if a person is mental when you never actually met the person? I feel there should be less judgment on this site and I am saying this because I was guilty of judging others. It's bad enough that the heterosexual and homosexual people talk bad about us, why should we bash ourselves?
I think pole_smoker is a horndog and nothing wrong about that, but I don't think he's sick and mental. I'm a horndog too so does that mean I'm sick and mental?
Last edited by JaredT77; Nov 21, 2014 at 2:08 PM.
I totally agree with Realist and I am happy to have him as a new friend.Originally Posted by Realist
Frankly, the threads here are porn-site threads. You will see the exact same thing in any given porn-forum. There's a few decent threads that pop up, but for the most part - porn threads. TBH this site feels more like a porn/fetish site than any sort of reasonable forum for bisexuals. The majority of threads about sexuality here devolve into what amounts to a cyber-circle-jerk. Honestly I come here more from habit at this point than any actual desire or curiosity.
Yeah I come back to this site out of habit too. Different strokes for different folks. One side is for bisexual unity, another side is for the cyber-circle-jerk because they probably can't get laid, and another side probably doesn't give a fuck because they are looking to meet someone online. It's still a community.
I like a variety of topics. Some serious, some totally about fun sexual behaviors. Also, I like a variety of authors.
Lately, most everything has been about sexual behaviors from a single author that is posting primarily for his amusement rather than for feedback from others. This seriously limits the ability of other worthwhile threads to gain and sustain an audience before vanishing from the main forum page. Until, he loses interest in flooding the site with trite, there is not much to read without a lot of effort hunting for it.
But, I still check the site and reply to threads that are worthwhile or amuse me.
JEM
When I log-in -- which is usually several times daily -- I always select "New Posts", which gives a list of threads and posts that I haven't yet had the opportunity to read. This makes it very easy to see new both new topics and recent ones that have new comments added. Yes, this includes polesmoker's prolific inanity, but I learned long ago to either ignore it and him, or, perhaps, read the comments of others if a discussion that he originated is of interest to me. (rarely) I agree that his incessant poll-taking is annoying, but don't consider him worth the effort of establishing an ignore list, when I can easily just pass by the threads with his name attached to them. He may be a great guy and as honest as the day is long, but his boorish behavior in this forum has done little to establish that as fact. Basically, he's not worthy of an ounce of my attention, effort, concern, irritation or ire.
Logging in and going to 'New Posts' first makes it easy to make sure you don't miss anything new, and you don't have to go to the 'Main Forum' and scroll through a couple of pages worth of threads to stay up-to-date.
I was going to ignore the bastard poll_smoker but when I told him that my intimacy between myself and my fiance is none of his business, the piece of shit wanted to keep going like a pervert and making his accusations of something that is none of his business. I really wanted to punch the fucker in the mouth.
You're undermining your own cause by continuing to argue with him. I'm sure he thinks he's got a 'live one' now, and is greatly enjoying yanking your chain. Don't throw yourself into the volcano! Comport yourself with dignity and EVERYONE will see who the idiot is.
Do you seriously think that I, or anyone else, for that matter, am going to believe what he says about you unless you provide some evidence of its veracity through ill-advised responses? You really need to learn to ignore him in the literal sense.
Yeah, you're right. I'm done with that guy.
Well Tenni...the atmosphere here is a little on the dark side, and appears to continue getting darker. No one forces us to come here. If I came here and didn't like any of it, I wouldn't come back. Once PS was ignored, the board started looking pretty normal again.
As you know, there are bisexual sites that are moderated that you can visit. If you aren't happy with the situation, I suggest taking a few months away. Maybe it will come around. Something that helped me get thru the bumpy patches here, like when Jared was judge and verbal executioner, was to remember, we get what we pay for. We come here for free and for that we sometimes get to listen to the damaged tell us how awful we are for not being just like them. They come around eventually. Maybe pole is having a really rough time right now and taking his aggravation out here. Why not, it's free and gets it done. And if it's just to get attention, it's working great.
Something that helped me get thru the bumpy patches here, like when Jared was judge and verbal executioner, was to remember, we get what we pay for. [/QUOTE]
Well I guess some people have a hard time of letting go of the past. Obviously, you're still dwelling on what I said months ago. I guess my apologies on here don't mean shit to anyone. My apologies definitely didn't mean shit to you because you're still bringing up that past. Oh well. Fuck it.
I guess I'm better off not being on this site full of hypocrites. Maybe I am a hypocrite myself but I am no longer considering myself bisexual. I have no more attraction to men. I AM NOT BASHING ANYONE, I AM NOT BASHING BISEXUAL PEOPLE, OR HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE, AND NOT EVEN HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE. I JUST KNOW WHAT I WANT IN LIFE AND I KNOW WHO I AM. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE ON THIS SITE FOR HELPING UNDERSTAND BISEXUALITY. IT JUST ISN'T ME ANYMORE.
I agree with Realist's comments. From my own perspective, I guess I am just coming here for habit. As someone else pointed out, it seems to have devolved where it is more about describing sexual exploits than about how to deal with our feelings, or interactions with SO, friends, etc. Someone pointed me to another site, where i spend a little more time there as there are many sub-categories, some dealing with relationships, some with regarding health issues, and even some topics just dealing with banal things like what your favorite movie is or music. I learned about the Flexuality test from that site. I originally came here to relate to like minded people, but really, how many threads do we need to ask about tops and bottoms?
I also agree that there is a need for moderators. That would keep someone from monopolizing the forum. Unfortunately, we don't even see Drew around. I did offer to help Drew but my email went unanswered. I keep coming back hoping things get more interesting.
I have not been so pleased with the sorts of things that get posted up on this board, and I hope that over time, I have mostly posted up things that for the most part have been positive and surely tried to get some good discussion going--sadly though---many of those posts only started one of those cycles of people attacking either what I posted or what others posted in response and then someone replied back and it just started a vicious cycle.
I just got kind of tired of it, so I do admit---I just don't post up a whole lot like I once did. It does seem that my series of "Volty pics" (photos of a totally non-sexual nature) are usually well received and liked by most, so I continue to do them from time to time.
One thing for sure---I used to like to post up things that had some political aspect to them and that just wound up often being something that was negative, so not wanting to add to the sort of negativity that seems to be part and parcel to such discussions, and that I often did have private messages to me by both "trolls" and "normal" users that this was not the place to post my knee jerk liberal sorts of politically oriented posts I once did. I just don't see the need in putting up something that so often becomes "a pissing match" amongst us.
I'd wish that we could have reasonable discussions of political things----but that doesn't seem to be possible and even when I would post links to stories that I thought might be of interest to the members----so often it caused so much negative comments and such----that I just figured: "not gonna do that anymore."
It does seem that many members only want the sorts of posts like "Do you suck someone's cock if it stinks" or something along those lines--with that being the case---I don't care to respond and do I figure that most people don't really want to discuss things of substance and are mostly interested in stuff that "is just sexual" in nature.
So for me---it no longer really matters all that much what gets posted on here----my attitude is now: "it is what it is" and let it go at that.
Understood Volty. The site will be what it is until it eventually ends up on the same list of sites that no longer exist. What a shame since we used to be able to engage in some converstations on the site and even with we disagreed things were not disagreeable. I am looking for another site to visit, but if there is one I would never ask about one or reveal it in the open here.
I care what gets posted here and would prefer those that engage in outrageous activity go away sooner rather then later. But, I am willing to tolerate bad behavior, which, I can choose to ignore or confront as I see as appropriate.
JEM
12voltyV2.0,
I don’t mean to be argumentative with you about this of all things; but what are you saying?
Are you saying that you’ll only ever express things that meet with the general approval of the “little brain trust” that seems to prevail at bisexualdotcom?
Are you going to ‘stifle’ yourself just because some bozo online comments harshly and directs that at you?
If you’re going to stop typing your thoughts/feelings, because others use it as a pretense to cause commotion, I gotta say you’re letting yourself and all the rest of us down.
It’s a harsh world, online too. It seems that the (semblance of) anonymity can embolden ugly people to type ugly things. But, you just can’t let ’em get you down. Forgive me for this observation; but to do so, IMO, is like abrogating your freedom of speech. It is like dropping in the dirt, what others have fought for and died to preserve – by succumbing to those who would silence you.
Besides: You shouldn’t even feel the need for everyone here to accept your posts, without any controversy. You’ve gotta have a thicker skin than that to ‘survive’ – and some of us bisexuals don’t want you to die by trolling (online, or anywhere else). The trolls might, but the rest of us normal bisexuals don’t feel the same way. Some of us (probably most of us) come here to read what others are thinking, even if they’re thinking things we think are unthinkable. If you’re just going to stop sharing that ‘content’, *that* is what will kill bisexualdotcom.
The trolls don’t speak for me, and they don’t speak for most people who visit this website. Sadly, trolls have an outsized effect on public discourse online. DON’T LET THEM!
If you could see it happening, like in the school yard, you’d probably do a better job of defending yourself and your POV. But because it’s “just online” you (might?) think it doesn’t really matter, or is otherwise not worth your time. Seemingly, you also find the negativity unseemly. You think the scrapping reflects poorly on bisexuals, and you don’t want to get fussed and mussed in the ruckus. Well, I agree with you in principal, even though I do appreciate battlefield humour and have mused about pole_smoker’s sudden and hopefully gruesome death.
I would argue: You owe it to me and other bisexuals to do a better job of defending your posts against the troll’s wish to silence your words. Consider that most people reading this website aren’t even signed-in members. I can well imagine that many or most of them don’t even have an account here (even though the current membership roster is over a whopping 130,000 members). This tells me that most people visiting bisexualdotcom are coming here to read what bisexuals are thinking. We’re coming here in search of *your POV* (using the term “your” in the infinitive sense, applicable to almost anybody – anyone other than pole_smoker, that is).
The thing that has most of us pissed royally at pole_smoker, is that he has made that POV – your POV – harder to see. If you’re going to make it not just invisible, but wholly unavailable – the site will die for sure.
In view of ALL this, it isn’t justified, necessary, desirable or even polite to us normal bisexuals, for any clear thinking person to avoid posting even controversial topics or remarks here. Indeed, bisexuals visiting this website come here hoping to find exactly that – the sane thoughts/POV and posts and whatnot of thinking bisexuals.
Letting the noise completely drown-you-out is not doing anyone any favours, and in truth, you do “owe it” to the rest of us, to exercise your freedom of speech. That’s how I see it, anyway.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to waste your time arguing with idiots. Always “Pick your battles” of course. But at the same time, don’t just roll-over when the only ‘response’ required from you isn’t even more onerous than simply more typing and posting, which you seem more than able to do anyway.
The trollish behaviour of others is no reason for anyone to stop posting themselves.
To do so is to submit to trolls, which should seem a reprehensible thought to thinking bisexuals.
I’m not saying you have to go tit-for-tat with trolls.
Just don’t let yourself get completely drowned-out by dummies, is all.
If there was ever a TLDR (too long didn't read), it would be your post.
I doubt that guy you replied to even cares.
You're not intelligent, or a "thinking bisexual"; but just a troll with his own agenda.
I beg to differ and I bet that BiBedBud is very much intelligent. You, on the other hand, are a fucking disease to this world and especially this site. You are sick, twisted, and narcistic. More and more people see you as the troll that you are.
What I was trying to say that I just got tired of trying of posting up things that I hope had something positive and of substance but that so many either knocked that or ignored it---it was pretty clear that this was not was what was wanted here, so I just stepped back from doing so.
It does seem that most people that are coming here like and want threads that are mostly like the ones we get now with the talk about the more baser aspects of sex and such----so if that is the case--more power to that.
It's not that I don't take part in the threads--I obviously do---just that I don't post up the sorts of things I once did. I mostly just tend to post responses to those threads that I feel are worthy of responding to.
You don't even know me. Quit projecting your own issues onto me. If you don't like my posts or threads then don't click on them to read them, or reply to them.
Alright. I won't bad mouth you anymore. My apologies pole_smoker.
It's not posts that's the issue. It's barrage of nonsensical and voyeuristic dribble that's like a mass mailing of spam. Maybe you're just too focused on your own thread's and don't wander around to any other threads.
Play nice and you'll be more accepted.
Frankly, to the contrary of Pole_Smoker, I found BiBedBud's comments quite lucid and welcome. I hate to see someone driven off a site because someone else decided to be infantile rather than discuss things as an adult. I have almost left Facebook for the same reason, but many did as BiBedBud to convince me to ignore the trolls and stay. I frankly prefer educated dissertations rather than, hey wanna look at my cock posts. There are real issues that people who are bi have to deal with, and it is good to find a place where one feels they can share openly. When others bring that person down for sharing, then it makes this place less welcoming. Those who lurk and don't sign up, end up missing out on a community that can share and hope to lessen the loneliness that one can feel when one is isolated. I have learned a lot from some of the postings here. I learned I am not alone in many of my thoughts and feelings. There are many others out there that feel the same. We need this to be a welcoming place with people who can offer advice and compassion rather than ridicule and hate. I think many who lack the support all ready subject themselves to their own sense of ridicule and self-loathing. Finding that there are many who share those feelings, diminishes that feeling. It gives one hope that they are "normal".
I want to appologize for my rather long-winded post above. Usually, when I type something up I've got more discipline and energy to edit myself down; but last night, I woke up hungry and made a big bowl of oatmeal. Of course, this necessitated my browsing to this website, and I saw this thread.
I could have said the above a lot more neatly; although I do have a tendency to write a lot (mostly because I can type really fast).
Ordinarilly, when I type a long-ish post online, I've got much, much more to say.
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