There are some SUGGESTIONS I would like to offer all reasonable, level-headed members of bisexualdotcom; if you appreciate this place for what it was and can be again.
The first is:
Find a thread that has merit in your eyes, and make a post there to further that discussion. You might have to do some deep digging, but those threads are still there if you search DEEP into the forum. Do this today for three reasons. First and foremost, to help ‘elevate’ this place (hopefully) above the painfully boring tirade foisted upon us by that fucker, “pole_smoker”. You don’t have to post poetry. Just be genuine. (Unlike that facetious pole_fucker.) The second reason to do this is to help us hose some of pole_smoker’s shit off the ‘Recent Threads’ board on the homepage. He’ll likely hate to see anyone else’s thread there, but
fuck him, right? The third is because discussion threads that grow ‘stale’ beyond a secret limit set by Drew, will become ‘Locked’ and end-up in an archive, rather than the discussion forum.
The second thing to do:
Make greater use of the ‘Subscribe to Thread’ feature of bisexualdotcom. Rather than relying on the “Recent Threads” board (which pole_fucko has effectively hijacked, much to the consternation of many); the “Subscribe to Thread” feature offers a few *powerful options* to customize your personal experience at bisexualdotcom (including ‘pushed notifications’). To do so,
go to the first page of any thread you like, and right
above that first post in the thread, on the right hand side, you will see a link for
“Thread Tools” and by clicking it, one of the options you’ll discover is
“Subscribe to this Thread”. Click on that. You will see further options for “Notification Type” and “Folders”, which you can combine powerfully to greatly improve your experience here at bisexualdotcom – pole_smoker be damned!
The third suggestion is simply to
avoid adding to the problem of ‘Thread Spam’ that we’re having with pole_smoker. Of course, I do realize that you might think that I’ve added to the problem myself, and I wouldn’t argue otherwise, except to say that I’m sorry I can be disruptive while dealing with a disruption. It’s a necessary evil, I’d suggest, because that BS really ticks me off and I’m not alone in that regard. Rest assured, I am eager to get back to discussing more interesting topics with actual bisexuals (instead of BS from that self-loathing homo pole_smoker).
So, to be specific, try to avoid “Thread Spam” by observing the following TWO FRIENDLY SUGGESTIONS REGARDING THREAD CREATION:
Avoid thread titles that are “click bait”, i.e. non-descriptive, non-specific or confusing. Thread titles should help readers decide if they want to click, not tempt, trick or tease them to click. As ethical bisexuals, let us keep our soliciting to sex (whether literal, figurative or actual) with each other – and leave our clicks alone! While you’re at it:
Make sure the first few words in your first post, summarize what the *new* thread is about, which you can elaborate further, later in that same starting post. This is helpful because the beginning words of the beginning post of a thread will appear as ‘pop-up text’ when you mouse-over the thread’s title on the ‘Recent Threads’ board. Clarifying everything up-front, will help readers make informed clicks.
Avoid starting threads for transient or non-persistent purposes. Threads (in most forums online) are usually devoted to ongoing discussions, not chit-chat, nothing temporary or passing, and no “personal topics” which would better belong in a chat room. Chat rooms are where transient-interest “posts” belong. Such “statements” are not supposed to be used as thread/topic titles!
Of course, I do understand that bisexualdotcom isn’t like other (work related) online forums, and I also recognize that it isn’t a good idea to try to shoehorn this place into what the “ideal” forum is. This isn’t a work-related site and sex is supposed to be playful (however you define that), and so we can bend rules for reasons of humour and cheer, and occasionally for ‘housekeeping’ with such threads as “Dear So-and-So: Your Inbox is Full!” or fun and games like “Label Recognition”. That kind of thing boils down to ‘hominess’ and I wouldn’t want to curtail any of that if it helps my fellow bisexuals have some sexy bisexual fun.
All I’m sayin’ is that there is a better way to use this place than we are availing ourselves of. Just imagine these two scenarios:
IMAGINE: A series of tornadoes are snaking across Kansas, and one member starts a thread entitled (something like) “Keep safe from those storms peeps!” which is both click bait and transient (though quite common to see here). While I empathize with the sentiment expressed; no one in genuine danger of the storms is likely to get this message in time. Inherently, interest in such a topic will last only hours, at most; yet will remain in the bisexualdotcom database FOREVER (or until purged, which imposes an administrative cost). OTOH if there was instead a thread for “Kansas (and bordering areas) Bisexuals and Bisexuality”, peeps in Kansas can actually subscribe to that thread (in advance) and so a post there could actually get “pushed” right to someone’s handset/smartphone (assuming their notifications and email are set-up to allow it). In this scenario, a *post* remarking “Keep safe from those storms peeps!” that was made in a ‘Kansas-dedicated’ thread – this would be a very good thing, and perhaps even provide first warning for someone. This is infinitely better than the way we’re (collectively) doing things now, with ‘Thread Spam’ that does little more than gum-up the works (particularly the ‘Recent Threads’ board).
IMAGINE: You want to organize and plan for some kind of ‘bisexual event’ like a meat-and-greet barbecue in a city park somewhere, let’s say in Kansas City. The problem with your plan is that you’ve only got a month to make it happen, because the idea just hit you and summertime is short. (Too short!) If you come here to bisexualdotcom and start a new thread with a title like “Bisexual BBQ in Kansas City Park July 4”, only peeps who see that thread during those thirty days, will even hear about it before it happens.
Consider that most members don’t visit all that often, and many, many members haven’t visited in years, for whatever reason. Posting a new thread will do nothing for them, and you’ll miss them completely. OTOH, if you post in that SAME, ALREADY STARTED THREAD “Kansas (and bordering areas) Bisexuals and Bisexuality”, AND IF bisexuals in Kansas can get it together by subscribing to that thread and setting up their notifications and email properly; EVEN IF many members haven’t been here in a great long while, they’ll still get that notification and your turn-out will be GREAT because of it!
Can you dig it?
Can you dig it?
PS: I do realize that I don’t have any authority here whatsoever, and so no grounds to be setting rules or asking others to do as I say.
I AM NOT A MOD HERE and I’m not pretending to be one (although I have volunteered for the privilege, just as I’ve encouraged others to do as well). The above are offered only as *FRIENDLY SUGGESTIONS* and they are no more onerous than what I observe myself.
PPS: To be clear on my third suggestion regarding not contributing to ‘Thread Spam’; some people have voiced the opinion that ‘sparring’ with pole_smoker is tantamount to ‘feeding the troll’; and I want to explain why I don’t think this is the case.
Although I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist; I do have an undergrad in psychology and I frequently undertake my own version of profiling and assessments because of my work. Managing often difficult personalities and their sometimes abnormal psychology, to orchestrate complex undertakings successfully – this is my daily work. I know people, because I study what makes them tick, and this “pole_smoker” has definitely given us a lot to study. (NB: This is only the most recent, most problematic account/username used by the same problem person.)
Whereas most normal members of bisexualdotcom come here because they are curious, interested, wondering or are otherwise horny or they just want to share, flirt and play (all of which are legit reasons); our resident “pole_smoker” comes here for his version of validation. He extracts this ‘validation’ from everyone who visits bisexualdotcom, particularly those of us who post; at a significant nuisance cost to everyone. He derives this false validation from dominating the ‘Recent Threads’ board (I know, WTF? Right?) and by playing his version of “mind games”.
It seems to me, a major motivation behind his “mind games” is to help paint a decidedly negative impression of bisexuals and bisexuality. I have wondered if these “mind games” featuring vulgar and imagistic inanity are intended to be off-putting for newbie site visitors, to repulse them from the very idea of bisexuality. I have even considered if some dedicated/fanatical group (like the Mormon Church?) has an active ‘smear campaign’ running against this website, similar to
COINTELPRO. Note that
the Mormon Church of JC and LDS has been caught illegally spending $25 Million to defeat same sex marriage in California; all because they see bisexuality as the “gateway to gay” and
this threatens their entire theology. (Please note I’m using the term “mind games” ironically and sarcastically at the same time).
For the time being, let us assume pole_smoker is just a single sick individual, and not the figurehead of some organization. This assumption reveals a number of dead-giveaways as to his underlying psychological motivations.
His overly frequent invocation of his “partner” and constantly referencing what he and his “partner” are into and do and how his “partner” and him were whateverelsehecanthinkof-yada-fucking-yada…“partner”……. yada…. This gives me the overpowering impression that his “partner” doesn’t even exists.
His whole “partner” thing just seems so contrived. So desperate! Pretty much every time he mentions his “partner” it’s to testify as to how thoroughly he agrees with him. (Yeah, right!) Now, I know some peeps, and even counting among them many people who have been married for decades – I don’t know anyone who takes as many opportunities to reference their partner, usually as “back up” or other proof of what he thinks/does himself, as does our resident pole_smoker.
It’s just not believable.
Even considering those normal people I know who are frequently mentioning their partner, there’s usually an anecdote there, or a joke at their expense, or conversely some self-deprecating humour that hinges on something their partner did or said. There is depth there, back-story of the genuine kind.
But, that’s not what we get from pole_smoker.
Instead, we get lies best read-out in a child’s voice – a child’s voice make-believing, trying desperately to convince us in some quest for validation. In fact, I can’t find anyone else at bisexualdotcom who seems so desperate for such validation from the rest of us. There is nobody here trying as hard to convince us of something, anything, as hard as this pole_fucker is trying to convince us how well-adjusted and happily partnered and sexually satisfied he is.
This is because WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK! WE TRULY DON’T CARE and most people with any sense about them recognize that and don’t try to “relate” in this way. Instead, normal people share, they share questions and answers and jokes and stories and they flirt. This pole_fucker doesn’t function this way. He mal-functions. He is a defective person.
What really stinks-out-loud is the incongruity between his supposedly ‘intact’ status (uncut dick), coupled with his rabid anti-circumcision stance concomitant with his NON-STOP penis/ejaculation/cum fixation. This profile-behaviour doesn’t add-up: It is incongruent.
As someone who is intact myself I am sure that if I ever am lucky enough to have a son, that he’ll be kept intact while he is on ‘my watch’; and so the whole ‘circumcision debate’ doesn’t really resonate with me. It’s just not something I can get fired-up about; partly because it doesn’t and won’t affect me or mine, and partly because there are other evils in this world that I’m more worried about. Accordingly, circumcision isn’t an issue I’m likely to get all hot-and-bothered about, let alone as volcano-like as is this pole_smoker. I’m pretty sure most intact guys feel the same. But this pole_smoker takes a different tack.
Altogether, taken in aggregate, a clearer picture begins to emerge:
1) Which explains why his parental/caregivers were so distant and aloof during his formative years, and
2) Also explains why they developed the habit of discussing him in the third-person sense (even while in the same room with him).
3) The penis/ejaculation/cum fixation is inherently self-centred; and is thematically evident in his thread spam, his posts and many of his suspected alternate usernames. The apparent strength and sharpness of the fixation clearly indicates significant early childhood disturbance, as well as continuing sexual dysfunction. It is likely that he has great difficulty “achieving” and maintaining an erection, and likely has problems bringing himself to orgasm. (I outright dismiss his fallacious claims of having a partner – I just don’t buy it – it all seems like childish make-believe.)
4) Almost as plentiful as his annoying polls, are his rabidly anti-circumcision messages – which are highly unusual from someone who is supposed to be intact. “Methinks thee doth protest too much!”
The picture coming into focus, I assess; centers on the botched circumcision suffered by pole_smoker. His parents, burdened with guilt, remained distant and aloof all his life; and discussing him in the third-person was fundamentally, just the way it always was for him. Many, deep psychological scars were imparted to pole_smoker stemming from this one incident very early in his life. Likely, the attempted corrective surgeries later in life were persistently painful as well, and obviously not entirely successful, otherwise he’d be a better adjusted adult than he is.
It is clear, there was a great deal of pain involved, and it has left its mark. I can see it clear across the internet.
I actually feel sorry for him.
But this isn’t the place for him to exercise his demons. He should find a support group somewhere, for men suffering from botched circumcisions and the psychosexual mal-adaptations and dysfunctions that arise from them.
It would be the best thing for him, and the best that any of us could wish for him. Anything else that serves to perpetuate the validation he seeks here; is in truth, a cruelty to all of us, and especially to him.
So, while it is certainly true that everyone else posting here is seeking legit attention for the things they type; this pole_smoker is seeking a particular kind of attention for himself known as ‘validation’. He desperately needs this because he is so terminally insecure. Understand that this isn’t about someone exchanging views or trying to understand themselves or others, sharing and discussing based on their life experience and the perspective of accumulated wisdom. That’s not what pole_smoker is doing here.
Instead, pole_smoker doesn’t want anyone to challenge anything he types on bisexualdotcom. He wants us to just ‘swallow it’ because he comes here to pretend and make-believe in a *futile* attempt to feel better about himself (which he never can). Of course, it doesn’t make rational sense to normal people, which is precisely what characterizes it as abnormal psychology.
If we try to ignore him, the problem will persist indefinitely because he can never find ‘relief’ here by doing what he is doing. It’ll only get worse, and it’ll do him no favours either. Certainly, all the rest of us will suffer for it as well; as will this website (likely until its effective death).
If we ‘engage’ with him and effectively ‘feed the troll’ by addressing him directly in any way; this too won’t help (as others here have suggested). The reason why this tactic won’t help is twofold. First, because he feeds on negativity and second because engaging with him directly still affords him opportunities to foist his judgemental BS on the rest of us.
I recommend that we don’t ignore him. (Name a single classroom teacher who ever ‘ignored’ a problem child, and I’ll show you an ineffective teacher with no control of the classroom.) I also recommend that we don’t address him directly. Instead, we should do what his parents did, which he found so distasteful. We should only ever discuss this troll in the ‘third person’ sense, ensuring that he knows for sure that we know he is full of shit.
It’s not about ‘stooping to his level’ and going all-negative in some kind of mud-slinging competition. (I agree that this wouldn’t help, and that it would be bad for the forum.) Rather, it’s just about calling it like I/we see it; and I do believe a consensus opinion of pole_smoker was formed a long time ago.
Originally Posted by pole_smoker
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