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  1. #1

    WHen does he become my boyfriend?

    .
    It is only in the past two years that i have become actively bi by feeding cocksukcers. And about a year since I sucked my first cock.

    I have an online correspondence with a sissy guy on another forum, where we share photos and how we think and feel about various types of men, bois, gurls and girls. You get the picture.

    I finally met a man who can host adn is intersted in mutual cocksucking.

    I wrote to my sissy (as he calls himself) about my first and so far only adventure with my new FWB. My sissy then called him my boyfriend. As a guy with a long term hetero identity, the dae of having a "boyfriend" is very foreign to me. But as a newly developing bi identity it is appealing at the same time. Clearly one cock in the mouth is not enough to make him a boyfriend. And he got soft so he mastrbated into his own hand.

    When might he really be my boyfriend or a boyfriend. Or do you guys think of many men as boyfriends without the kind of emotional attachments that one might have to think of a woman as a girlfriend. Could he be a boyfriend if all we do is suck a bit of cock and I never speak to him past emails to set up appointments?

    I know there is really no answer to this, I am just trying to navigate my way through some strange territory.
    A man that wants his monogamous wife to fuck others. And to swap cock.

  2. #2

    Re: WHen does he become my boyfriend?

    I have a long term friend that calls me her BF.... and its a friendly term of endearment because she loves to come around for coffees and to talk with the others ( I am in a closed * relationship * with my partner, two other ladies and another guy ) and yeah to get a good work out with them....but her and I are not sexual.....

    we do give each other hugs and as she says she feels wanted and needed, around me, cared about and loved......so she calls me her BF, tho in truth she sees me as a big brother but BF sounds better.......

    my own partner actually does not call me her BF or partner, but her missing link. Because she is intersex female, many people saw her as a fetish, a dream fuck but I always saw her as somebody that I cared about and for many years, would not get into a relationship or sexual with her because I did not want her to feel like I was using her for sex.......she wanted a relationship with me because I did not see her as a dream fuck, I saw her as a person I cared about.... and to her I was the missing link between her dream relationship and her happiness.......


    But yeah is there really a right time for somebody to be your BF or GF... and what do they mean by BF or GF......
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  3. #3

    Re: WHen does he become my boyfriend?

    Methinks there is boy friend and boyfriend with the latter having two meanings. The first is a term of endearment and the other is the relationship meaning. When might he become your boyfriend in the relational sense? When he agrees that you two can and should be more than FWBs. I had a boyfriend - relationship kind. Freaked me out a little because I was one of those guys who said that hell would freeze over before I was in a relationship with a guy. I guess it froze over. Took some getting used to but it was amazing and damned educational. Compared to guys who were more FWB than boyfriend and we'd have sex at our convenience but if we didn't see or talk to each other for "long" periods of time, no biggie. A boy friend in that sense but no push to be a boyfriend and not even in the terms of endearment way so much. Some of my gay partners would call me boyfriend and it didn't "mean" anything like, oh, "Damn, boyfriend - you suck a mean dick!"

    Boyfriend can have some... uncomfortable connotations which is probably why a lot of guys use the "male friend" thing or something other than using a word that others might mistake for being the relationship version of the word. Like the difference between having a friend and having a friend and that's usually in the FWB way of things. In these things, we get reminded that words have power and they should be used with care. The question you might want to ask yourself - and answer - is that if he was interested in being your boyfriend in the relationship sense, would you say yes? The other question is... do or would you want a boyfriend? Being in a relationship with a guy feels weird at first and until you realize that the only real difference is you're both guys and, well, you're guys and you're still going to behave like guys. My boyfriend was an effeminate gay man and, yup, he behaved like a girl but, yeah, still a guy just the same. It's okay. It's not who you might be in a relationship but how​ the relationship is going to go that matters the most.

  4. #4

    Re: WHen does he become my boyfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by KDaddy23 View Post
    Methinks there is boy friend and boyfriend with the latter having two meanings.
    That is a good distinction. So far we have had once meeting and I have zero interest in socializing with him. But I can see that that may change one day if not with him but with another man. Acknowledging that for a guy with a long term hetero idnatity, is very weird. Like with women, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.

    Thanks for the feedback. If anyone else had thoughts please leave a note.
    A man that wants his monogamous wife to fuck others. And to swap cock.

  5. #5

    Re: WHen does he become my boyfriend?

    I do the friends with benefits usually, it is spelled out...............so, I might have a boy toy

  6. #6

    Re: WHen does he become my boyfriend?

    Notwithstanding the different uses of the term boyfriend, I think you understand that generally referring to someone as your boyfriend is pretty much the same as referring to someone as your girlfriend. If you are boyfriend-girlfriend with a woman, then you are spending A LOT of time together--socially, sexually, friendship-wise, romance-wise, and you're probably in love with each other. Why would it be any different between two men? A guy can be a suck buddy and/or fuck buddy, and it's just about sex. It's possible you like each other as well, as people, or there may even be a deeper physical/sexual connection between the two of you. Or you may even do other friend things together, and like each other even more, and have sex, in which case it's definitely FWB. In any of these cases, there is no romantic/love feelings for each other. That's more reserved to between boyfriends. And if you're boyfriend-boyfriend, you could either be monogamous or agree to be free to see other people as well, but still boyfriends; in other words, you could be in an open relationship. It sounds like to me that you are super early in your gay experiences, and therefore a long way away from boyfriend territory. Keep exploring the gay side of yourself and see what happens.

    You could also be in a similar place that I am, or eventually get there, even with vastly less experience of sex between men than I have. I have been evolving in my own discovery of more aspects of the gay side of me, allowing it to come more and more to the surface, understanding it, accepting it, and even loving it. Initially it was just about cock for me, playing with other guys' cocks with my hands and mouth, and vice versa. Eventually I evolved into loving anal as well. At that point, I began wanting and enjoying closer connections with guys, but still at the sexual level. I was even once friends with benefits with a guy who I liked very much as a friend and lover. But he wanted more, as he was gay and looking for a husband ultimately. Even though I desperately wanted it, I did not have romantic feelings for him.

    But I continue to fantasize about even falling in love with a guy and our becoming boyfriends. But either I just have not met the right guy yet, or I haven't accepted the gay part of me enough yet, or I'm just not wired that way, but I still have never had romantic feelings for any real guy. But it turns me on a lot to think that I'm not only capable of having romantic/love feelings for another man, but that it could happen someday. But I also, me at least intellectually, see there's a difference between fantasy and reality, a wisdom that I have very much realized over the course of the last 29 years of having gay sexual feelings and playing with guys.

    I hope this helps a little bit. I wish you all the best. Good luck! And enjoy!

 

 

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