Married Bisexual Becoming More Active

**bimwm75240** · Oct 30, 2014, 9:34 AM

I'm 55 yo and I have been married since I was 22, divorced, then remarried. I had fantasies of sex with men when I was a teen and masturbated with anal penetration, but the vast majority of my fantasies were about women. In my 30's I started having fantasies about sex with men and acted on them via craigslist 7 years ago. Now I have sex with men about once a week even though I am still married. I rarely have sex with my wife. She is not very sexual but she is a beautiful mature woman with full breasts narrow waist and a very pretty face. The issue I have is all my sexual desire is about men now. I would enjoy pursuing it without the constraints of marriage, but my wife would be devasted by divorce. She would be devastated if she found out I cheated on her. The same goes for my children. I love cock now so there's no going back. You see my problem?

**SilkyHoseLover** · Oct 30, 2014, 10:52 AM

I completely understand and empathize with you, as I'm in a similar situation, except that I don't have the outside sex.

We did swing for a while and I developed my interest in cock during that time. So she has seen me engage in oral and masturbation with other men and understands that I enjoy it, but she no longer has any interest in swinging. If we're not into it together, I can't pursue my interest any further without cheating. I have a sliver of hope that she'd let me have a suck-buddy, but it's a difficult topic to bring up.

I'll be following this thread closely to see if what others have to say. Good luck!

**curiouslyme** · Oct 30, 2014, 3:09 PM

I'm totally with you, I'm married and 43 yo and the same as silkyhoselover where I haven't had outside sex. I've been tempted to hookup with guys to JO or BJ each other, but I'm always scared, paranoid to be exact. The thought of meeting up with someone and be scammed and blackmailed has been a strong deterrent, I guess I'm overly cautious. I don't want my wife to know, don't want to divorce her either, it would be devastating to my kids too. My wife too is not highly sexual, but we do have sex 2-3x a month, she's a very beautiful conservative lady, love her body too! She would never understand where I'm coming from, she's not open-minded at all, she doesn't even like porn.

In my teenage years I did have many encounters with a friend of mine, we would jerk and blow each other. When I was dating my wife I also discovered that shemales turned me on and had a couple of experiences, one of them took my anal virginity, but still I think I was confused, so went on and married and didn't think about it for years. During my marriage, I obviously fantasized of other women, love them! And until maybe 3 years ago, I started to play with dildos when I traveled and really loved the sensation, so every time I get to travel I take my companion!

That said, I always wished it was the real thing and since then I think about being with men all the time, not as a relationship, but just to play with. I fantasize of sucking and fucking a nice cock. It's weird, because, when I'm out on the street, I don't see a guy a say, wow how hot or cute he is like I do women, I actually don't have that type of attraction, but when I see dick, I want it. I think that if the right situation comes, I will like you act on it, it's so hard and rare, might as well take advantage of it. The ideal situation would be if I meet someone casually when I'm out of town, probably wouldn't do it where I live, but wouldn't rule it out either if he is trustworthy and very discreet, so I do know your problem.

I'd like to know more about your Craigslist encounters, how was the first time? did you ever think you could be scammed?

I'll keep in the loop, hope to see more responses!

**bimwm75240** · Oct 30, 2014, 6:12 PM

Thank you for the replies. I respect that you don't have sex with guys because you don't want to cheat. I didnt understand my sexuality when I was a teen, but I started crossdressing and separately fantasized about sex with guys, my attraction to women was compelling, but it never overrode these other sexual urges. Now I only want to have sex with men, but I don't want to date them. You must be very very careful on Craigslist, but much of the best sex in my life has been with guys I hooked up with from Craigslist.

**JackTexas94** · Oct 30, 2014, 8:43 PM

I am so with you! I have occasional sex with guys and zero with my wife anymore.

**'BlowJob'** · Oct 31, 2014, 4:08 AM

I sympathize with you and those like you who endure a similar situation. It makes me ever so thankful to have a wife who accepts me as a Cocksucker.

**bimwm75240** · Nov 3, 2014, 1:07 PM

I was traveling last week and posted on CL, got lots of replies, a few promising, but never connected with anyone. I gave my room number out to one guy that said he could come by my room at 7 am the next day, in time for me to leave to catch my plane at 9 am, but I didn't think he would make it, since the guys I met online before that were supposedly available the next morning never reconnected. You can guess what happened....I was sitting in my room, wearing running shorts and a t shirt, drinking coffee, about to go down to the gym, when at 710 am there was a knock on the door. He was slim, tatted, buzz cut, 5'10'', and in his 30's. As he took off his clothes I ran into the bathroom to freshen up and brush my teeth. I came out and he was nude with a nice looking 6 inch hard cock. I took off my clothes and went over to him, placing my hands on his shoulders, then my lips on his mouth. We started french kissing, then pressed against each other passionately kissing, caressing, stroking and rubbing. I went to my knees and took his cock in my mouth. It tasted sweet and felt smooth in my lips. We fell onto the bed and moved into a 69. Sucking and licking each other's cocks and moaning. I moved down again to suck on his cock and told him how much I liked the taste of his cock in my mouth and he responded that he loved the way his cock felt in my mouth. After more kissing, caressing, stroking, and sucking, he moved down on my cock and started sucking harder, bobbing his head and down until I came. I returned the favor and in a few minute he said he was going to cum quickly and I swallowed his load. We held each other for several minutes until I needed to get ready for my flight. He got dressed and we said goodbye. That was 3 days ago...

**Fzmr9t** · Nov 3, 2014, 1:15 PM

Originally Posted by bimwm91106

I was traveling last week and posted on CL, got lots of replies, a few promising, but never connected with anyone. I gave my room number out to one guy that said he could come by my room at 7 am the next day, in time for me to leave to catch my plane at 9 am, but I didn't think he would make it, since the guys I met online before that were supposedly available the next morning never reconnected. You can guess what happened....I was sitting in my room, wearing running shorts and a t shirt, drinking coffee, about to go down to the gym, when at 710 am there was a knock on the door. He was slim, tatted, buzz cut, 5'10'', and in his 30's. As he took off his clothes I ran into the bathroom to freshen up and brush my teeth. I came out and he was nude with a nice looking 6 inch hard cock. I took off my clothes and went over to him, placing my hands on his shoulders, then my lips on his mouth. We started french kissing, then pressed against each other passionately kissing, caressing, stroking and rubbing. I went to my knees and took his cock in my mouth. It tasted sweet and felt smooth in my lips. We fell onto the bed and moved into a 69. Sucking and licking each other's cocks and moaning. I moved down again to suck on his cock and told him how much I liked the taste of his cock in my mouth and he responded that he loved the way his cock felt in my mouth. After more kissing, caressing, stroking, and sucking, he moved down on my cock and started sucking harder, bobbing his head and down until I came. I returned the favor and in a few minute he said he was going to cum quickly and I swallowed his load. We held each other for several minutes until I needed to get ready for my flight. He got dressed and we said goodbye. That was 3 days ago...

Awesome story! Sound like you two had a great time. I love the kissing and caressing aspect of it too. It wasn't just a blow-n-go (those seem so sterile to me)

**Fzmr9t** · Nov 3, 2014, 1:20 PM

Originally Posted by bimwm91106

I'm 55 yo and I have been married since I was 22, divorced, then remarried. I had fantasies of sex with men when I was a teen and masturbated with anal penetration, but the vast majority of my fantasies were about women. In my 30's I started having fantasies about sex with men and acted on them via craigslist 7 years ago. Now I have sex with men about once a week even though I am still married. I rarely have sex with my wife. She is not very sexual but she is a beautiful mature woman with full breasts narrow waist and a very pretty face. The issue I have is all my sexual desire is about men now. I would enjoy pursuing it without the constraints of marriage, but my wife would be devasted by divorce. She would be devastated if she found out I cheated on her. The same goes for my children. I love cock now so there's no going back. You see my problem?

My curiosity wasn't awakened in me until my 40s, but other than that we live very parallel lives. Other than the sex part that is (not much outside of marriage, and not any within)

**bimwm75240** · Nov 4, 2014, 8:28 PM

To make it worse (or better), it seems to be easier to hook up on CL. 30 years ago my outlet was Penthouse stories and jacking off. Tonight, I am in a hotel and I just finished having sex with a third and different man (a record for one evening). All fucked me (with a condom). I really enjoy it, but I hate the cheating.

**flasmallguy** · Nov 4, 2014, 8:58 PM

Married bi sexual and I have had sex with one man so far at his home it was a passionate night of sex.

**ErosUrge** · Nov 5, 2014, 1:01 AM

There is no doubt that it is very difficult to find a partner who is secure enough and willing to allow a man to be sexual with other men and not feel threatened by it. Even when there are reassurances that are given about the extent of the play...as in it being purely physical play with no other attachments or strings. I do know couples who have that kind of relationship and I have wished for it many years now...it continues to elude me. It takes an incredible amount of trust and security. I understand all too well about men keeping this from the women they love and not wanting to destroy that relationship...it's tough no doubt.

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**Hypersexual11** · Nov 5, 2014, 11:11 AM

We've had some difficult conversations in our life but talking about man to man sex with my wife is about the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Recently, there was a thread about bisexual men and how many of us are quite masculine. It's that masculinity and how we are perceived, that makes it so difficult to share this. We know that when we bring this up, she will be floored. The last thing she expected, was to learn that her wood chopping, beer pounding, ass pinching, fag hating husband is telling her he likes to suck cock. We create a barrier around us for 40 years and then try to topple it.

I constantly hear people talking about how they accept themselves, are ok with who they are. Fuck that. For me, I would LOVE to be able to shut off this perverted desire that is stronger than my will power. It has caused more grief and heartache than everything else in my life combined.

BIMWM displays how this always plays out. First are the thoughts. Then there is the opportunity. Then there is taking the opportunity. Then there is taking the opportunity every fucking chance. I thought, if I could just suck a cock and get it out of my system. Doesnt work that way. It just gets embedded in your system. "wow, that was easy and fun. I want to do that again"
As I read your post, I felt a tightness in my throat. I feel for you and your wife and the misery you will go through when she finds out. And she probably will. Once you do this enough, you will make a mistake. Be careful man.

**NjbiGuy01** · Nov 5, 2014, 3:59 PM

ETHAN YOU ARE A SPAMMING DOUCHE. Go away please ?

**bimwm75241** · Nov 5, 2014, 6:17 PM

Hypersexual11 your description of the pattern is right on. I can abstain for a week or 2, but the feeling always comes back. I enjoy sex with other men, but hate the cheating. I have cheated with women before and moved past it, successfully vowing not to cheat again. My love for cock is passionate and real, but I wonder if I can move past it too. Is it an addiction? Will abstinence from masturbation and cock for a period of time lead to a return to my heterosexual self albeit with a limited sex life? My sex life and emotional bond with my wife is weak, but I want to be true to my vow. Is that possible? I hear that you hate the bi side of you, but I read your blog and you also seem to crave cock, but you have remained mostly faithful to your wife. That's valuable.

**sexylacaman** · Nov 6, 2014, 11:33 AM

I sympathize completely. I have sex with men & other women, I still like both but I don't have sex with my wife anymore. She just doesn't do it for me but I also don't want to end the marriage. Is this weird or what?

**Cutiliae** · Nov 6, 2014, 11:53 AM

I'm 54 and married and have grown more bi over the years. My wife has no idea of my love for cock and I have had several CL encounters (just oral) that have turned out well. You just have to be careful, I have made it a practice to meet other men that are married and I meet them in a public place first.