She used to enjoy it

**hdultra79** · Oct 19, 2014, 3:49 PM

So while away on a trip about two years ago, I confessed to my wife one evening while having an intimate convo that I had experimented with other men in the past. She was instantly turned on, wanted details and stories which I gladly provided. We have been married 10 years so this spark was much needed. I even went as far as meeting a man where i was and sucking him off for her and recorded it for our pleasure. Once i returned home, she and I had sex like no tomorrow, shared sex stories about her and other men etc. She would put me in panties frequently and it just made her drip wet. On several occasions she would bend me over and give it to me with a strap on or vibrator, I would ride her and the list goes on!

This lasted about 7-8 months and it was great! Then one day she said she's done with that life and doesn't want to do it anymore. like deleting a hard drive, she hasn;t spoke another word about it since. I still wear panties on the side without her knowing but sadly all the sex toys are gone. I dont know what happened, i dont want to bring it up either because i think if she wanted it she would have never let it die so fast. I did however talk a lot about letting her watch another man and I go at it in person but it never happened as I am picky about who I would want her to be present with. After all, whoever it was going to be would end up inside her mouth and pussy as well. Im kinda stuck here yall. What to do?

**pole_smoker** · Oct 19, 2014, 4:50 PM

Ultimately, it's up to her. Talk to her but you apparently already did and she said she does not want an open marriage at all anymore. Why not just be monogamous with her?

**hdultra79** · Oct 19, 2014, 5:03 PM

I am now, but I still have those urges and frequently. I wont stray at all without her approving it, but I dont want to bring it up again. Im hoping she eventually will.

**jonric** · Oct 19, 2014, 6:49 PM

This sounds almost exactly the same as me and my wife, except when she decided she was done with that life, she walked out.

**hdultra79** · Oct 19, 2014, 8:46 PM

I don't see walking out on the horizon as we are pretty solid everywhere else. But then again, she is a woman so you can never predict them. Just was't sure if anyone had been through something similar. I honestly thing the buildup of a three way and her coaching me with another guy was something she really wanted but didn't get in in time so she said hell with it. Maybe I'll just bring it home one night and let her have it...never know!

**CurEUs_Male** · Oct 20, 2014, 11:20 AM

Talk.

Talk to her about it. What she liked, what you liked, what's she didn't like... You two are in the relationship together, you have to communicate. There are some angry wife's (for good reason) that believe they have been cheated, and will cause others to believe anything like this leads to abandonment, sti's, and divorce. Shutting down the intimate play tine between the two of you can (will?) increase the stress on the relationship and may make those toxic thoughts a self-realizing prophecy.
Open communication. Not easy, and you may never get the agreement to a 3way, but bringing a guy home to have sex with her unannounced is pretty close to rape, and would likely shut down the relationship as likely as she would suddenly jump into bed with a smile.

**CUMM2LBV** · Oct 20, 2014, 12:44 PM

I'm not sure I understand all I know here. Interestingly, none of the women here have weighed in??? Maybe some of them could contribute something to the conversation...

**hdultra79** · Oct 20, 2014, 2:09 PM

Funny thing about suggesting communicating is I did just that last night before even reading the suggestion. Turns out, she wanted it really bad and was tired of waiting. As a results, she chose to just take it off of the table to get rid of the (what she viewed as) false promise. I then told her I would want someone that we both want and felt safe with and that we can't just allow anyone to come in and do this with us. She agreed and understood, the quest is back on, but the daily talk about it is however on hold and reserved for occasional use. We are however searching for a candidate to serve as the second male as her lifelong fantasy is being tag teamed and eventually 3 on one. Thanks for the help yall, I'll leave this thread up for updates or whatever anyone wants to add.

**itsnormy** · Oct 20, 2014, 2:26 PM

I get the distinct feeling your wife must have shared the info of your episodes with some who was important to her and received overwhelmingly negatives results making her shut down.

**hdultra79** · Oct 20, 2014, 2:46 PM

No I wouldn't guess she would do that. In the heat of it all, she shared so pretty incriminating stuff with me that she has done, but we aren't the type to bring it up after the fact. I honestly believe her when she told me it's because I was all talk and she as tired of being teased. We are pretty open, but this here had me puzzled.

**pole_smoker** · Oct 20, 2014, 2:53 PM

Originally Posted by hdultra79

No I wouldn't guess she would do that. In the heat of it all, she shared so pretty incriminating stuff with me that she has done, but we aren't the type to bring it up after the fact. I honestly believe her when she told me it's because I was all talk and she as tired of being teased. We are pretty open, but this here had me puzzled.

What are some of the incriminating things she has done?

**BareHunter45** · Oct 20, 2014, 8:29 PM

Pole-smoker

it is not nice or fair to ask him to tell her secrets.....

**CUMM2LBV** · Oct 21, 2014, 12:42 AM

Now all is revealed. You are the "elephant" in the room. Your wife is apparently a fun funny, adventurous sexually mature and experimental woman. She just wants to take a little walk on the wild side, not fall in love with this fantasy of yours. You revealed yourself in your opening post. Forget your preconceived notions and terms and conditions. Lighten up, you have your opening, go for it.

Surely there is at least one swingers club in OKC. Wash up. dress up, and go out there on a date and have a good time. let the evening take its own course. Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Something will come along to fill it. It has been my experience that the women usually make the deal. It happens in that mysterious place named, The Ladies Room. God himself is the only one who knows what goes on in there while the girls are having a good pee for themselves...

PS I have lived in OKC, there are some pretty hot women (and men) there. Happy hunting.

**lookin2tryit** · Oct 21, 2014, 2:03 AM

it almost sounds as tho she hit a point of guilt or internal guilt . ive known a few people that get to a certain point of involvement a lot faster than they are comfortable with , and pull WAY back on the issue.
had a "buddy" for several years loved to give blow jobs and he IS the best at it. and he was really getting into it, and out of the blue ,one day he just said he was stopping. I just felt an underlying feeling of some sort of guilt or internal conflict that he was dealing with.

**Hypersexual11** · Oct 21, 2014, 4:43 AM

Looking for 'the right guy' is something a lot of us have to go through. It would be nice to be able to fast forward a few experiences to the point where it's not this life altering experience, just fun, hot sex.
The first guy we met was not her cup of tea. He was fine for me but she had a notion of what she wanted and he wasn't it. After a few experiences she tells that if I want to get a hold of the first guy, she'd enjoy banging him with me. Attitudes change. I hope you can break thru this first barrier and get on with it. You are missing out on a lot of fun. We did an mmf with a new guy Sunday and we are both still vibrating from it.

I caught a hint of jealousy in your comments. If this is an issue, then you should stop. That will be amplified a hundred times when you are seeing it up close and in person. Some guys totally lose it when they see their wife react sexually to another man.

**Alex2200** · Oct 21, 2014, 6:36 AM

female here. granted didn't get thru all responses, about half.
have to say a basic fact, women have egos too! why u think u have to say stuff like "is that a new dress, it looks great!" or "u look sexy in that outfit", etc. women need fluff too!
so when with a guy, did u engage her at all? show her she still #1 in your book. i saw no mention of female ego, just men being, as usual self-absorbed, their pleasure reigns supreme, as usual.
3 some sure not in picture if she number 2 or worse number 3 in 3-some, she should be number 1 and play with other should be not number 1. just my opinion. but i get why u guys get shut off after tolerating being barely in picture after 6 or more months.

**hdultra79** · Oct 21, 2014, 8:54 AM

Glad to see a female weight in and to piggyback on your response, she has always been #1. We agreed that it was hers to control from cradle to grave and her happiness was all that mattered. I will say this, when it comes to sexual creativity I am the one with the mind and we both admit that. After posting this and gathering some thoughts her and I have been able to bring back the idea of trying it out. As I stated before, we would have sex daily and talk about it every time until we climaxed but in the end we were left with just a fantasy. She doesn't want that anymore, she wants the goods so we have decided to patiently pursue it and when the opportunity comes, the door is open.

As far as jealousy on my part, isn't that to be expected a little the first time? Maybe jealousy is the wrong word to use but I would say a bit intimidated. She has opened up and told me about men she slept with before we met and usually that stuff wouldn't do anything but upset me. Now I'm totally turned on by it and the thought of another man in her with me there and our comfort levels being of the utmost importance, I just get beyond aroused!

All the feedback here rather I agree or not has been great though, I appreciate it and when it finally happens I will be sure to give a detailed account of the events. Keep the advice coming though!