Two questions concerning being a newb

[Zancudo]

Hello everyone, I'm new here and wanted to start by saying that you have a wonderful community here that I'd love to be a part of...

But back to the matter at hand. I've considered myself to be a straight guy since, well, always. Then a couple of years ago I've found myself getting attracted to transsexuals, which quickly moved on to an interest in bisexual and even in gay sex... It was all very confusing but felt kind of great. Now the thing is that I'm in a relationship with a girl I really love and am not willing to cheat on, also, I don't know any Bisexual people personally. That leaves me in a position where I can't really explore this new thing in me...
So that is why I am here and these are the questions I hope you can help me with.

1. Did anyone here become bi-curious in a similar way to me? Following being exposed to porn of a bisexual nature?
2. If I'm extremely turned on by the idea of sucking a guy off, but when it comes to full on sex I'm into being the one that does the f**king, What does that make me? Am I a top or a bottom or both?
3. Being in a straight relationship, have you ever spoken to your partner about being bisexual or bi-curious? How did they take it? Is it at all possible to be in a straight relationship where you have the freedom to explore bisexual sex?

Thank you

[Realist]

1. Did anyone here become bi-curious in a similar way to me? Following being exposed to porn of a bisexual nature?

Not sure how I began. Any kind of porn was exceedingly hard to get a hold of, when I was a kid. I've always been drawn to both genders, though. Never understood why I shouldn't feel desire and be able to interact with either males, or females. At an early age, I was introduced to non-orgasmic sex play and nudity, by a female cousin and her neighbor boy. Although I enjoyed it immensely, I didn't actually consummate my sexuality until gifted with an oral orgasm, the day after I turned14.

2. If I'm extremely turned on by the idea of sucking a guy off, but when it comes to full on sex I'm into being the one that does the f**king, What does that make me? Am I a top or a bottom or both?

Shades of Bill Clinton! Giving anyone oral sex is sex...if a stimulating action creates an orgam, that is a sexual act!

Reviewing your interests, I'd say you're likely to be versatile. Since you haven't had any experiences, yet, it's probably too early to tell how your sexuality will progress. We've discussed a Sexual Pendulum, here. Most of us have experienced that swing from one aspect of our sexuality to another. There are members here, who began their sexual life as straight, then bi, then gay......Or gay to bi.... etc, etc. Humans are adaptable! Tops have become versatile, or even reverted to being a bottom. I wouldn't look for labels at this stage, if I were you. Just be smart, don't settle for less than you want and be safe.


3. Being in a straight relationship, have you ever spoken to your partner about being bisexual or bi-curious? How did they take it? Is it at all possible to be in a straight relationship where you have the freedom to explore bisexual sex?

Yes, anything's possible, I'm proof of that! But, I wouldn't discuss your feelings,yet, unless your partner's open to such things. Only you know , or suspect, how she'll react to the idea that you'd like to explore your bi interests. Make sure you know what you want and can express your feelings clearly, without developing and adversary situation with her. I would agree with most, that it's dangerous and not advisable to play covertly.........because, no matter how smart and cautious you think you are, women are smarter than we give them credit for! They are natural-born detectives and the first time you think you're too smart to be caught, you're caught! I'd think this is time for some introspection and research, regarding the possibilities, before you declare your bisexuality. I have experienced both catastrophic failures and remarkable success, from reveling my bisexuality to a loved one, so I would advise caution, a clear plan, and the utmost diplomatic approach to revealing your self!!

Having said all of that, and this is from one who cheated and didn't get caught, the ramifications from being outed to your GF/Wife/ family/friends/coworkers can be a wonderful revelation, or the death nell for your present relationship with them all! I do not recommend cheating, because of personal experiences, but some feel they have no choice. I would never condemn you, regardless of the route you take, unless you do it with malicious intent, but I think honesty is the best way to begin this adventure!

Good luck!

[void()]

1. Did anyone here become bi-curious in a similar way to me? Following
being exposed to porn of a bisexual nature?

Exposure to bisexual pornography had no effect upon me, except an
occasional erection, urge to get ridden. I knew of being bisexual prior
to the porn though.

I was not quite sure that bisexuality existed until a bit later in
life but for me, between ages 7-8 years I knew I experienced things
differently. Sometime around ages 13-14 years, I had sex with a guy one
week, then a gal the next week.

I could not choose which I prefered as to me sex was sex. I enjoy sex. I
also enjoy loving relationships. Never have chosen a prefrence regarding
guy or gal, I love both.

2. If I'm extremely turned on by the idea of sucking a guy off, but when
it comes to full on sex I'm into being the one that does the f**king,
What does that make me? Am I a top or a bottom or both?

Human. It makes you human. Welcome to feeling, to being human.

People often ask me what I enjoy sexually. I keep things simple. "I
enjoy pleasing and being pleased. If it's something I do not want, I'll
tell you. Please respect that, I'll do the same."

3. Being in a straight relationship, have you ever spoken to your
partner about being bisexual or bi-curious? How did they take it? Is
it at all possible to be in a straight relationship where you have the
freedom to explore bisexual sex?

Still married to my wife after 14 years, known one another 16. Still
love my boyfriend of about 7-10 years. Always will love them both.

Have had positive experiences. Granted, there is work involved. That
which is of value in life such as love, never comes without some work.
The trade off though is priceless.

[Zancudo]

Thanks for your insight guys... I appreciate it...

[mas8092]

1. Did anyone here become bi-curious in a similar way to me? Following being exposed to porn of a bisexual nature?

Not sure how I began. Any kind of porn was exceedingly hard to get a hold of, when I was a kid. I've always been drawn to both genders, though. Never understood why I shouldn't feel desire and be able to interact with either males, or females. At an early age, I was introduced to non-orgasmic sex play and nudity, by a female cousin and her neighbor boy. Although I enjoyed it immensely, I didn't actually consummate my sexuality until gifted with an oral orgasm, the day after I turned14.

2. If I'm extremely turned on by the idea of sucking a guy off, but when it comes to full on sex I'm into being the one that does the f**king, What does that make me? Am I a top or a bottom or both?

Shades of Bill Clinton! Giving anyone oral sex is sex...if a stimulating action creates an orgam, that is a sexual act!

Reviewing your interests, I'd say you're likely to be versatile. Since you haven't had any experiences, yet, it's probably too early to tell how your sexuality will progress. We've discussed a Sexual Pendulum, here. Most of us have experienced that swing from one aspect of our sexuality to another. There are members here, who began their sexual life as straight, then bi, then gay......Or gay to bi.... etc, etc. Humans are adaptable! Tops have become versatile, or even reverted to being a bottom. I wouldn't look for labels at this stage, if I were you. Just be smart, don't settle for less than you want and be safe.


3. Being in a straight relationship, have you ever spoken to your partner about being bisexual or bi-curious? How did they take it? Is it at all possible to be in a straight relationship where you have the freedom to explore bisexual sex?

Yes, anything's possible, I'm proof of that! But, I wouldn't discuss your feelings,yet, unless your partner's open to such things. Only you know , or suspect, how she'll react to the idea that you'd like to explore your bi interests. Make sure you know what you want and can express your feelings clearly, without developing and adversary situation with her. I would agree with most, that it's dangerous and not advisable to play covertly.........because, no matter how smart and cautious you think you are, women are smarter than we give them credit for! They are natural-born detectives and the first time you think you're too smart to be caught, you're caught! I'd think this is time for some introspection and research, regarding the possibilities, before you declare your bisexuality. I have experienced both catastrophic failures and remarkable success, from reveling my bisexuality to a loved one, so I would advise caution, a clear plan, and the utmost diplomatic approach to revealing your self!!

Having said all of that, and this is from one who cheated and didn't get caught, the ramifications from being outed to your GF/Wife/ family/friends/coworkers can be a wonderful revelation, or the death nell for your present relationship with them all! I do not recommend cheating, because of personal experiences, but some feel they have no choice. I would never condemn you, regardless of the route you take, unless you do it with malicious intent, but I think honesty is the best way to begin this adventure!

Good luck!

Very good analysis.

(1) I was curious in college. Went to a glory hole at the library. Chickened out. Got more interested with porn in my thirties. Once divorced at age 46, I got drunk and high and had an anonymous man over. It was the first time I touched or put another man's cock in my mouth. Loved it. Still love it.

(2) Versatile. I am a bottom. Licking a shaft, t-bagging and sucking the tip makes me happy. Have bottomed. No desire to be a top. If you are ready with the right cock, having a man put his dick in you sends chills through your loins!

(3) Unless she is special, I suggest you shut up until you decide what you like. I didn't cheat on my wife, but could have. Consider if you are willing to leave your relationship or be a man whore on the side. Tough call.

[nomorenomore]

1. Did anyone here become bi-curious in a similar way to me? Following being exposed to porn of a bisexual nature?

I have always been interested in men. I kind of like what Void() said, "I enjoy pleasing and being pleased. If it's something I do not want, I'll tell you. Please respect that, I'll do the same." I think for me it was buried deep because of the attitude towards gays back then. I would have been disowned by my family and life would have been extremely hard. I all ready was the punching bag for the local "gang" and called a fag, though no one believed me to be one. It was just the put down that was used back then. You definitely did not take more than just a casual glance at another guys package or you would get beaten. Hell, I used to walk around with limp wrists and learned not to because my parents threatened to cut off my hands if I didn't stop. I had to learn to control my movement, what I looked at and for how long, and learned to live as I was expected to. I was so conditioned to reject that side of me that even when I was propostioned in the Air Force a number of times, I rejected them out of fear of being caught and thrown out of the service, dishonorable discharged, and rejected by my family. It wasn't until I had a breakdown in my 40's and spent four years with a psych that I was able to discern who I was in that mess that was me. It was then that we explored who I was sexually and was told, it was okay to like men. I was then told that sexuality isn't black or white. It is a lineal line that can shift and you can fall anywhere along that line, so lots of shades of grey. Unfortunately, at the time, I was going through a very nasty divorce where she wanted to keep my kids from me, so exploring that side of me was not to be. I was not going to take any chances that she could win that battle. I all ready had marks against me for the breakdown and some of the outward presentations of that. Long story, won't get into it. Needless to say, I found a wonderful lady and we had a vibrant sex life until about five years ago. Now I don't because I won't cheat on her. So I am left with longing.

2. If I'm extremely turned on by the idea of sucking a guy off, but when it comes to full on sex I'm into being the one that does the f**king, What does that make me? Am I a top or a bottom or both?
You are what you are and you is what you is. If you have never experienced it, how can you know for sure what you are. Why get hung up on labels? Just be! If you ever start to experience, you will find out what you like and don't. Who knows you won't like being a bottom? Maybe after that first time, you might love it so much that is all you want. You don't and won't know, until you experience it and find out what you like and don't. I can say from the one time I experienced it, when I was molested by a neighbor teen when I was a teen myself, I got really turned on. I was afraid of him, but loved that feeling of being filled. Of course, these days, I would have to really, really know a guy before that happened due to all the diseases out there. Of course, it is moot, since I won't cheat on my wife.

3. Being in a straight relationship, have you ever spoken to your partner about being bisexual or bi-curious? How did they take it? Is it at all possible to be in a straight relationship where you have the freedom to explore bisexual sex?
Okay, last question first, anything is possible with the right person. I have a wonderful wife who's original career was going to be a social worker/counselor, so she was let in on most of the details of my breakdown. Not all, as we didn't need to really get that deep into it. It turned out that my honesty was a major plus as my ex found out I was dating again and demanded to speak to her. She felt she needed to tell her everything and warn her about me. Totally blew her out of the water when she made the demand and I gave her my wife's cell number to call. She was speechless. You are giving me her number? You are going to let me talk to her? Yes, I all ready told her everything because I figured you would do something like this, so I was totally honest with her. She never called. LOL. So my wife knew back then that I may or may not be bisexual.
For the first five years of our marriage, sex was hot and heavy, so no thoughts of men arose, except for the occasional look when I was attracted to a specific guy. As menopause, medication, etc took over, her sex drive went down until it went to zero about five years ago. So I found that my desire has slowly gone the other way to the point that I am more attracted to men than women now. I have tried to talk to my wife but any mention of bisexuality is met with blank stare. No comment. No discussion. So I am left to satisfy myself. That is the fucked up rules of our society. In other societies it is accepted that once a partner's drive is gone, the other is allowed to have someone on the side. Not in the good old puritanical US of A.
So take it slow with your SO. I would not jump in until you have felt her out. Some could react extremely negatively. Maybe watch Modern Family or some other show with same sex couples and elicit her feedback on it. You might ask if she has ever thought about being with another girl. Watch her reaction, if you get an ewwww no, really take it slow. If she is like thinking about it, there might be an opening, especially if she returns the question. Take it very slow though. You might say that you had seen things and wondered. Gauge the response. Just take it slow until you know how she stands with this. Just an idea.

[Zancudo]

Thanks a lot guys...