Something I've noticed about the bisexuality narrative.....

[stonebow]

A lot of guys posting on this forum (and others) say they have no experience of male to male sex...but have been curious about it for years. I can relate to this personally....it took me many years of guilt wracked clandestine encounters before I finally met the bi woman who introduced me to her circle of bi FWBs. It was HER acceptance of me as I was that gave me the courage to accept myself. At the other end of the spectrum I've also read accounts of men who thought they were straight....who never entertained so much as a single homoerotic thought in their lives... until some incident opened their eyes and they were instantly hooked...for example, the guy raped by a gang of outlaw bikers who realized after the fact that he actually enjoyed it! I can understand being curious and never acting on the urge...there are powerful forces arrayed against exploring one's sexuality, but how common is it for guys to suddenly and unreservedly realize and embrace their bisexual nature, overnight?

[NakedInSeattle]

At first, it was seeing and feeling myself get excited watching gay porn. Then it took just one cock and my wife's acceptance to make me realize it.

[tenni]

I would think that it is rare to realize overnight that you are bisexual but it may be possible. Due to societal taboo on same sex let alone being attracted to both genders is huge, there may be a lot of baggage to unpack

I have read that it can be fairly common that a man begins to realize his attraction to other men...even if only cock after 40. The guy had absolutely no interest before and it just is there. It may ease in to his mind for a variety of reasons but I suspect that it is more of an ooze than a sudden wack to the head awareness. I have also read recently that the age of 40 may be lowering to 30's. Possibly due to same sex taboo is less rigid and self defining today? ..not sure.

[Cutiliae]

I knew I could be bi when I was in my mid teens. My attraction was not to men, but it was to their cock and that is why I love straight porn; I get to see attractive women and cocks.

[Realist]

I agree with Tenni when he wrote: "I suspect that it is more of an ooze than a sudden wack to the head awareness"

I've only been with two guys, who had never been with another male before.

The 1st one had walked up on two men in a park, one time. He stood in the shadows and watched them. He was aroused, but it didn't encourage him to find someone to share what he'd seen.

The 2nd one said he'd never thought of it before he and I developed a relationship. Later, he admitted that he'd actually wondered what being with a guy would be like. I showed him for about 10 years!

[pole_smoker]

.for example, the guy raped by a gang of outlaw bikers who realized after the fact that he actually enjoyed it!

That story/example sounds like BS and it's the classic 'blaming the victim' mentality that can happen to both genders when they have non-consensual sex performed on them.

Why is your post only focusing on men? Why not women too and how they also can take time to accept their bisexuality?

I know a bisexual men who have told me how at one time they were not turned on by either the same gender, or in many cases the opposite gender and thought they were "straight" or "gay" and then eventually they realized they are bisexual. Sometimes it took decades and a breakup of a relationship, sex dreams that would happen more frequently, or death of a spouse until they were OK with exploring their bisexuality.

Other times it was because they thought they were "gay" (or even lesbian if they are a woman) and were accepting of other people being bisexual but did not recognize bisexuality in themselves at first.

This does not necessarily have to happen at any sort of age as it can happen when one is a teenager/young adult, or even in their early 20s.

[Ebonybifemme7]

I came out about being bisexual when I was 20. If I could go back, honestly, would not have done it. It is not easy at all. Most people I meet or just know through school and work think that I am straight, and to be honest, I'd rather they not know. Like I mentioned in previous post, I think that gay and bisexual men (maybe men who identify as straight but who are actually same sex seeking/same gender loving, etc) are much much more prized then women, rather the woman be straight, gay, bi, etc. Personally, me, I would never date or marry a same sex loving man, thats just how I feel. We could be friends, but thats it. I wouldnt take it any more far then that. I personally believe a man can be bi, but it would probably be best if he was in a relationship with a man. But men are so much more prized then women, I dont think a woman would ever satisfy a man like that anyways.

At the same time, I still have my prejudice and hang ups. A lot of people, straight, gay, bi, etc, still have internal prejudice that they have. I know gay people are getting there rights and what not, but there still are a lot of prejudice and assumptions that people make about me, coworkers, friends, family etc. They are so stuck in their own prejudice and assumptions, that I don't feel a need to even be around them, they are so ignorant. People have an opinion, but that doesnt mean that everyone feels the way that you feel. And I've gotten ignorance from everyone: straights, gays, even bi's, etc.

In the meantime I just focus on me. I could literally die single, sexless and childless and it wouldnt bother me at all. Not one bit.My experiences have been that bad.

[erictionlvr]

i can totally relate to this, i have the exact same experience. my wife thinks i watch porn and am busy comparing her to the women on the video, it's not that, it's the beautiful bodies doing beautiful things. the sex act itself is incredible to watch.i don't look at guys asses and get excited or check out their package through the jeans like women do, but pull out a cock and i'm riveted. wanting to touch, suck and experience it all.

[itsnormy]

I was married for over 50 years, but , sucked my first cock at 5, and never looked back, except to make sure it was the right person fucking my ass...

[cuttin2dachase]

I fall into the category of married heterosexual men who become bi literally overnight. I lost my virginity to a 21 yr old college girl when I was 14. She introduced me to oral sex and intercourse. I had one homoerotic experience (at age 15) with a 17 yr old neighborhood bud while camping out. It was a mutual jerkoff session while ogling Playboy centerfolds and later he sucked me off as I slept. I awoke during it, but faked sleep throughout it and he never knew that I knew he'd blown me. At the time, I was girl crazy and pussy crazy and dismissed the event as weird. I remember thinking it felt as good as the bj the college girl had given me, but I resumed my high school pussy chasing adventures and never gave it another thought. Until I was age 32..... My 1st wife and I got into swinging with other married couples in 4somes/orgies and with men in mfm 3somes. She had a fantasy to see me blowing a man and vice versa in swing scenarios and kept coaxing me to try it to turn her on. It was then that I remembered being sucked off by my buddy. It had not been a big deal to me at the time and it hadn't turned me gay. Being sexually adventurous as we both were, enjoying watching her with other men and women as I did and wanting to please her, I told wifey I'd try it sometime, if a male partner intiated it. The night it happened during a 4some with a both-bi couple I was transformed and felt very liberated as I sucked my 1st cock. I went from zero to 100 on the cocklover scale and have enjoyed oral sex with men ever since. Although I've always jokingly said that my 1st wife turned me out, I know that it's only a small part of how I came to be bisexual.

Some say that there is a genetic factor that predisposes all humans to be homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual. Some say it is to do with a person's environment and experiences in the formative years of childhood and teenhood. My personal belief is that one's sexual orientation is shaped by either heredity or environment or by both. I also factor in people's uniquely individual personalities, ie. being adventurous or experimental vs. conservative, high libido vs. low libido, extrovert vs. introvert or any number of other personality traits. Was I genetically predisposed to be bi? I don't know. Has my life experience anything to do with being bi. That's a definite YES. Does my unique personality play a part? That's another definite YES.

[stonebow]

Pole smoker, the story of the rape victim was one I recalled from a letter to Penthouse magazine and whether or not it's BS I can't say. I agree it's a pretty extreme scenario but I don't think it's beyond possibility. As for chase's story, I think it's a far more common occurrence than we know. What I'd like to know is HOW common? I know from personal experience that having the approval, or even encouragement of a loving woman can break down a lot of barriers to a man's exploration of his bi side.

[tenni]

Pole smoker, the story of the rape victim was one I recalled from a letter to Penthouse magazine and whether or not it's BS I can't say. I agree it's a pretty extreme scenario but I don't think it's beyond possibility. As for chase's story, I think it's a far more common occurrence than we know. What I'd like to know is HOW common? I know from personal experience that having the approval, or even encouragement of a loving woman can break down a lot of barriers to a man's exploration of his bi side.

One thing that I know about sexual exploitation and future sexual behaviour is that unless the sexual abuse is dealt with properly and efficiently the person may have a higher degree of sexual promiscuity and sexual exploration (including same sex play) at a young age. It may continue through life unless the issues are resolved. I have not read any degree of certainty whether sexual exploitation leads to increased incidents of same sexual activity one way or the other. It has been awhile since I worked with sexually abused children and there may be studies showing one direction or another by now.

[Ebonybifemme7]

I had an experience with my step sister, step cousin, sister, and some other girls, as well as boys, growing up, but I REFUSE to say how old I was, and what exactly happened. All I know is that its been a tough road, not an easy one. Still a lot of hate and discrimination out there. Hoping to get out on a public forum and talk more about my bisexuality, but why I feel that the LGBT world isnt a world that I fit into.

[stonebow]

One thing that I know about sexual exploitation and future sexual behaviour is that unless the sexual abuse is dealt with properly and efficiently the person may have a higher degree of sexual promiscuity and sexual exploration (including same sex play) at a young age. It may continue through life unless the issues are resolved. I have not read any degree of certainty whether sexual exploitation leads to increased incidents of same sexual activity one way or the other. It has been awhile since I worked with sexually abused children and there may be studies showing one direction or another by now.

"Dealt with properly and efficiently" I'm guessing that happens in a very small percentage of cases as most victims are probably too traumatized to even tell anyone. I was molested at age 5 and the first person I ever spoke to about it was my (now ex) wife. I have known other men who were abused as children...sometimes brutally so....and yet, paradoxically, now identify as gay. The rape story I referred to earlier was meant to illustrate the suddenness with which some people come to the realization of their true orientation. Far better for that awakening to occur in a caring, supportive and empowering atmosphere than in the form of a forced interaction but that is obviously not how it happens for some.

[pole_smoker]

Pole smoker, the story of the rape victim was one I recalled from a letter to Penthouse magazine and whether or not it's BS I can't say. I agree it's a pretty extreme scenario but I don't think it's beyond possibility. As for chase's story, I think it's a far more common occurrence than we know. What I'd like to know is HOW common? I know from personal experience that having the approval, or even encouragement of a loving woman can break down a lot of barriers to a man's exploration of his bi side.

It's a penthouse story. Those are not true, and they were just things the editors/writers at Penthouse would make up out of boredom or entertainment, and to fill the magazine with written smut for people who prefer to read porn instead of look at it.

The majority of bisexual men do not need a woman's approval, or a relationship with a woman in order to have sex with a man. Even you yourself wrote how you had 'clandestine encounters' (whatever that means?) with men before you met your wife/GF.

Ultimately it's up to a man himself to have sex with another man, and it's his decision not a woman's.

[stonebow]

You're missing my point pole....whether or not that, or any, Penthouse story is factual is irrelevant. I only mentioned it to illustrate how some people's sexual identity can come as a sudden revelation... even to themselves.

I'm also aware that it is ultimately a man's choice whether to act on his bi urges or not. Again you don't seem to grasp my meaning. It isn't merely the act but how one feels about they're actions that matters. The encouragement/approval of the woman he's in a relationship with can make a world of difference in how a bi man feels about being bi.

[pole_smoker]

The encouragement/approval of the woman he's in a relationship with can make a world of difference in how a bi man feels about being bi.

In some cases that's true. However it's very rare.

In the majority of cases if a bisexual man who is married to a hetero or even bisexual woman comes out after they have married she does not like this and the marriage splits apart, and they divorce.

Or if their marriage survives she drives him back into the closet as I have read bisexual men here who are married to women post about when they came out.

[stonebow]

Rare? That's just your opinion and you're entitled it. Now I'd like to hear others' perspectives.
.
..

[NakedInSeattle]

cuttin2dachase, your experience is almost the same as mine. I eluded to it in my previous entry. The biggest difference being that my first cock (other than adolescent experimentation) was during a 3some rather than a 4some. That wife wouldn't allow 4somes due to extreme jealousy issues. My present wife is happy with any and all genders I'm happy to say.

As to the predisposition to bisexuality, I think all humans are so disposed and family and society enforces or represses it. And certainly an open and accepting attitude and atmosphere being the positive influences.

For those of us in our mature years, I see many men driven to bisexuality by a loveless marriage or loneliness due to being a widower. We tend to feel that sex with a man is not cheating on the wife or the memory of the wife and after trying it, find it is fun and fulfilling!

There, that's my $0.02.

[lizard-lix]

I never really thought about it then. I was attracted to both guys and girls for sex and guys put out first, so I started with guys. I knew it was not accepted, but at that age (11) it wasn't with girls either.

I didn't put a label on it until the label got applied, by the rest of the world. I just liked who i liked.

There was no dawning moment. Just experiences as they were available.

[stonebow]

Anyone else?

[aLABiM75 & StrF51]

If you believe in Bell Curves in Nature.... most Humans fall into the Bi Category.
Not accepting oneself is extremely common and all you need is the right push to fully embrace your level of bisexuality.

[pole_smoker]

If you believe in Bell Curves in Nature.... most Humans fall into the Bi Category.
Not accepting oneself is extremely common and all you need is the right push to fully embrace your level of bisexuality.

Most people are not bisexual or sexually attracted to both genders.

If this were true there would be no need for LGBT rights for same gender marriage, and other things at all.

People who are gay or hetero are not bisexual.

I know some gay men who have had sex with the same gender but they are not bisexual. They said how sex with a woman just showed them how they are not sexually attracted to women or the female gender at all. Some were even once married to women and have kids and they're not bi since they have no sexual attraction to women they got married because they felt pressured to or thought it would make them "Straight".

[stonebow]

Most people are not bisexual or sexually attracted to both genders.

If this were true there would be no need for LGBT rights for same gender marriage, and other things at all.

People who are gay or hetero are not bisexual.

I know some gay men who have had sex with the same gender but they are not bisexual. They said how sex with a woman just showed them how they are not sexually attracted to women or the female gender at all. Some were even once married to women and have kids and they're not bi since they have no sexual attraction to women they got married because they felt pressured to or thought it would make them "Straight".

There you have it folks...the ultimate authority has spoken. Discussion closed!

[monaohio]

I notice with me I want men to take me to bed and have their way with me the older I get. first man I was with made me and brought out the woman trapped inside all those years. now since i'm older I want men more then women cause I love sucking and having cock fuck me good hard and deep