Craigslist Scam?

[steamienix]

Just contacted someone on Craigslist in the Casual Encounters section. His ad said he was looking for someone right away, however, after contacting him he said "Not looking for right now, but possibly this weekend. Give me your phone number so I can text you to set something up." I'm using a pseudonym email account and was not about to give away my personal cell number (especially since my job pays for it) and told him to just keep contact to the email. He replied saying "No, I have now way to tell how safe you are, so give me the number so I can call you to set something up, or pass."

To me, this sounds like someone just trying to get cell numbers for some type of scam. I don't see how getting someone's phone number proves whether they're "safe" or not. I mean, this guy wanted to fuck me supposedly. Assuming he doesn't fear me raping him, that leaves potential serial killer, in which case, having my phone number isn't going to help. Point being, he was very adamant about getting that number and not at all curious about me otherwise (no questions about what I look like, wanted to do, etc). It was all just give me the number and I'll get back to you, otherwise no deal.

Do you all think this was a scam of some sort or do you think he's just be overcautious? I mean, he is posting "Want to Fuck" ads on Craigslist, so how cautious a person is he in general?
Thanks for all your thoughts and comments.

[pole_smoker]

It's not a scam.

He wants to contact you off the internet so he knows you are actually serious about meeting.

Just give him your cellphone number if you are actually serious about meeting him.

[Melody Dean]

While I've never responded to anyone in the connections section of Craigslist, I've bought and traded a lot of stuff in the classifieds. Nearly everyone wants to connect by phone and is adamant about not responding by email. I'm a heavy email person, and have a bit of phone anxiety, so I don't understand it.

The thing is, whether or not it's a scam, this person is not respecting your boundaries. That's a huge red flag.

[wpb63]

Can't be sure whether it was a scam or not. But you did right by presuming it was. For those sincerely wanting to hook up, he/she should expect to have to show they are sincere. And foolishly exposing oneself to scams is no way to show sincerity. I expect a series of initial contacts resulting in failure (scams, liars, fakes, or simply poor rapport)will occur before a successful meet occurs. Everywhere, but especially on CL. I can't call or text either.

[fredtyg]

Hard to say if it was part of a scam. I like to speak to a guy on the phone before I meet him, too. Let's me get a better idea of who I might be dealing with. If someone is too pushy and insisted everything be done his way, though, I'd back away regardless. The guy would have to at least be willing to meet me half way.

[JUSTLUVIN]

I can understand the apprehension on both sides. We are all aware of Craigslist nightmares. I agree about the phone number though, once you give it, it is gone. Not that he would abuse it but you never know. Why don't you set up to meet in a neutral place for coffee or such? Tell him what you will be wearing and meet that way.

[mtnmen2]

I would be cautious there are ways people can scam you that you would never even dreamed possible. I've posted stuff for sale on craigslist before and they blew up my phone with scams. I would just go slow.

[fredtyg]

I We are all aware of Craigslist nightmares. I agree about the phone number though, once you give it, it is gone.

I got into a somewhat uncomfortable situation once as a result of wanting to talk on the phone before meeting a guy.

Saw an interesting CL ad. We exchanged a few e-mails and then I had him call me on my home phone before finalizing a meet. The guy came off as a flake on the phone. Not just flaky, but he was too pushy, wanting to meet right away. I backed out. He ended up calling me off and on over the next six months or so begging to come over and get it on with me.

Phones haven't been a problem otherwise. Now I have a cellphone that I rarely use and it's nearly always turned off, if only because of being rarely used. I turn it on should I need it and don't have to worry about calls on my home phone anymore. I'd recommend that guys who cruise a lot get one of those cheaper "throwaway" phones to use for contacting guys.

[Coastocoast]

If all someone can communicate is send a picture or a phone number of course there is an arterial motivation. I generally want to get the feel for someone I am talking to to ensure we are looking for the same thing and there is an expectation of being safe before passing contact information. No I do not expect someone to meet me without knowing what I look like but if the first couple of emails lets me know I have zero interest in meeting this person then I move on. There are too many picture collectors and my phone number is not disposable so if they are a sanity challenged individual I need to know by talking to them. At any point when someone give me ultimatums regarding something I am not comfortable with I let them know I am passing and do it fast. If safety was a true issue meeting at a public establishment will accomplish the same thing and if you are not interested you move on without leaving a phone # behind. Yes I have given out my number but when I feel I am good and ready.

[steamienix]

If safety was a true issue meeting at a public establishment will accomplish the same thing and if you are not interested you move on without leaving a phone # behind.

That's what I'm thinking. When he asks for nothing BUT the phone number, I say Red Flag. There are numerous methods to discern someone's credibility beyond getting their personal phone number. If he really Just wanted to talk first, he could've offered his number and allowed me to call him. Why am I supposed to assume he's perfectly safe/sane and I'm the one who needs to be tested? He already had backed out on the "need it now" proposition opting for "maybe over the weekend." He also said he wanted to text me first, and I've seen people on CL warning about texting scams which is what made me wonder. I personally see not much difference between texting and emailing. When I said "let's keep it to email" suddenly it changed to "I have to talk to you to know whether you're safe or not" which was never mentioned at all at first. It really just seemed like he was trying to get my number more than trying to hook up. It might not be a "scam" but I don't like it when one person thinks they're running the show. If you're seriously interested in hooking up with someone, you have to be willing to meet in the middle. Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and comments. It's been very helpful. I'm new to this whole thing so I appreciate the help!

[Hypersexual11]

The warning bell here was the ad said he was looking for now, then he changed that to the weekend and wanted a number. ANY kind of bullshit like that and I just walk away.

[cuttin2dachase]

I have used Craigslist with much more success than I have had using other adult sites. When I post an ad or reply to an ad, I am not looking for an instant hookup. I am looking for someone who is patient and sincere about hooking up to play if a mutual interest level is established. Sometimes, the vibes are good and it happens in a day or two, sometimes it takes a week to a month to arrange. I concentrate on the guys I hit it off with from email 1 and I write off the impatient, grabastic guys who won't go any further without a pic or won't open up and tell me more about themselves in emails or chats. The biggest obstacle to most meetups is finding a time when both of us are in the mood and free to play at the same time. Most of time, they end up being one-time hookups, but it's nice when we both enjoy it enough to want to make it a semi-regular thing to explore further. One thing I have found is that most guys who are serious about hooking up have a YIM account where we can more conveniently chat via IM or cam. Mine is set up so that I can send and receive SMS text messages on my mobile without giving out my number or him divulging his number. There are exceptions, but I usually don't divulge my mobile # until we have a "date", so that I can call or text him and vice versa if one of us will be late or can't find the meeting place or has to back out at the last minute. If you just use common sense and be patient, Craigslist is a good venue to meet people near you.

[MidnightRider]

Dude, the only ads on Craigslist that AREN"T scams are men seeking men. Best not to say more...or I wlll become non PC.

[pole_smoker]

Dude, the only ads on Craigslist that AREN"T scams are men seeking men. Best not to say more...or I wlll become non PC.

What do you mean by this?

[KevsBi]

As a married guy on the low, I have used Craigslist over the years to meet other married guys and have always chatted and hooked up via email. It's safer and much more anonymous.

[sysper]

Dude, the only ads on Craigslist that AREN"T scams are men seeking men. Best not to say more...or I wlll become non PC.

my experiance is, most of those are fake too

[Bocacdc]

Go with your gut instincts. If it felt right, you wouldn't be doing a survey here. There are never any absolute answers to those situations. My motto: When in doubt, leave it out. Make sure you are thinking with the right head. God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to run them both at the same time.

[AGuyIKnow]

God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to run them both at the same time.

I actually laughed out loud.

[SabrinasSlave]

If they have your phone#, they can have your name and home address. I never give out my # unless I have already met them and have positive experience with them, play or not.

[Musings]

I can understand his position about wanting your phone number and probably legit but I don't blame you at all feeling hesitant. I don't ever give out mine until I know absolutely sure I know who the other person is. Maybe middle ground such as kik or Skype?

[littlepeter]

I replied to an add on craigslit once and got a reply with a phone number. I am married, closeted so I called him using *69 without revealing my number. He was a nice old man of 80 yrs old. I would have let him suck me off but I didn't want to park a car by his house because it could be seen by a close neighbor that I knew. I've had the most success in sucking cocks around truck stops with a CB radio but just asking: Does anybody have a headache, go to channel 39 or what ever channel you choose. I have found that a lot of people don"t want to be sucked by an old man so if you want to suck cocks do it while you are young.

[cuttin2dachase]

I posted here on 9/12. On the same day I answered the Craigslist ad of a nearby bi married man. His ad was worded the way I would have worded my own ad and he seemed to be looking for the same thing/s I was looking for. We chatted back and forth via email for 2 days and were mutually interested in meeting. We arranged to meet for a beer yesterday at a restaurant convenient to us both. The first thing he said to me was that he was pleasantly surprised. He was physically attractive to me too. We moved outside to the vacant patio/deck, sipped our beers and learned more about each other. It was completely comfortable and relaxed and we knew very quickly we wanted each others' bodies. I had him follow me home, where we had a very hot mutual oral session. We agreed we'd like to meet again to explore further if and when our moods and schedules mesh. Basically that was 3 days from meeting online until meeting in person and going to bed. This is an example of a successful CL hookup, not a CL horror story. It was very nice and pleasurable experience, even if it never works out for us to meet again. We both picked up vibes of sincerity, patience, trust and sexual desire that were established in just a few emails. All that remained was for us both to take a calculated risk to meet in public and we were both rewarded. As I posted before, if you are patient, specific/selective in the ads you place and answer, and use common sense, you can be successful finding nice, compatible people who are ready to play.

[Musings]

That's great you had such a great experience. I hope it works out for both of you. My overall experience with C.L. has been okay, not great to be honest. I've responded and posted ads for a blow n go type situation but decided that's not what I'm looking for nor very safe. I think it depends on what category you post and respond. It seems M4M is a great exercise in frustration with the fakes. I never post or respond to M4W in casual encounters. I do read them from time to time just for shits and giggles and can't believe that any of are real.

[bikurinpa]

I replied to an add on craigslit once and got a reply with a phone number. I am married, closeted so I called him using *69 without revealing my number.

If I give my number to someone and they call me with *69, they would got the answer machine, I trusted him enough to gave him mine and he do that, it would been "game over"!

[cbb83]

Craig's List pretty much defines scam. Unless you're going to go with this person to a lab and get an STI check/blood test and review the results together, you'd probably be better off avoiding CL all together. Remember that condoms are actually fairly useless against preventing STI's unless you only manage to make body/fluid contact at that point that is covered. Honestly, getting tested before having sex is probably your best bet in any circumstance.

As for demanding your phone number - if it bothers you, just say "you first" - and/or get a prepaid cell phone.

[Cutiliae]

You have to be very careful using CL for pick ups. I won't immediately give out my phone number and I always meet the person in a public place first. I have had pretty good luck with it so far and until I can find one FWB on a regular basis I guess I'll continue to use that method.