Originally Posted by
2bi2Bboring
We realize you can't just turn it off like a switch, it's apart of you. Some will argue you've made your bed, now you have to lay in it. But changing the rules halfway into the game is bad form. It makes for some animosity and resentment, if left untended!it will fester. You'll need to communicate effectively, talk to her, plan out what you want to say, this will require some premeditation on your part. Most of all, even as important as what you have to say is,you need to LISTEN TO HER! Find out her concerns, her fears, why she has changed her tune. Reassure her that she is the one you love, sex can involve love,but it also doesn't have to, sometimes sex is just sex. Women often have a problem dissociating sex from love, where me are often more pragmatic about sex. That not meant to sound sexist, it is an inconvenient truth. It makes men often seem cold or unfeeling to women, because that dissociation exists for men. We can justify it, saying, "it was just sex", women are far more emotionally involved in the act. Some women can disconnect the act from the emotion and just enjoy sex as a recreational pursuit, others, not so much. No matter which flavor of girl you have on your hands, you'll need to make your relationship secure in order to be able to play in an extracurricular capacity. Most likely, this won't be a overnight change, it will take work and time. It will take effective communication, don't let emotion make you say things you'll regret. You can't solve emotional problems emotionally, you have to solve them logically. More emotion just makes the problem spin out of control and makes for hurt feelings. Be loving, be understanding, but also be understood. Good luck
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