confused

[BisexualCouple1992]

Hey guys.
So here is my dilemma I am 22 years old and I have no idea who i am. I am about to be engaged to a beautiful woman. When I was younger I had a bisexual encounter with my best friend at the time. The first time it happened I didnt expect it to happen it just did. When I was in the 8th grade I was asleep on my couch and he came and sucked my cock while i was sleeping. After the first time we kinda kept it hush hush. After that we went to a park and I had my little brother with me. We were hanging out and we went up to another area away from my brother and he pulled my cock out and started sucking it again. He took my cock deep down his throat until I came in his throat.
I havent done anything more than that.
Within the past few months I have had a few different guys suck me to completion. I have never done anything more than that with a guy but I have thought about it.
When I was in college I was living with one of my best friends and I was always curious to see how big his cock was. He is a black guy and I always wanted to see his cock but never took the chance to.
I am not sure if i am bi or what i am. I need help.

[tenni]

Hi Confused
At 22, you are young to be getting engaged and especially when you feel confused about your sexuality. What you know is that you have been blown a few times and enjoyed it(of course). The fact that you are somehow getting blown by guys is important to pay attention to. You do not have to suck a dick to be bi. It seems to suggest that you are seeking out same sex action and prefer to be the receiver. The curiosity about your room make's dick doesn't mean that you are gay or bi. A lot of guys may get into penis comparison or wondering.

What do you think about when you jerk off as far as fantasies? It can take years to come to terms with your sexuality. So far, you have shown signs of bisxuality but that doesn't mean much until you decide clearer. Just be careful not to deny your same sex attraction or you and any woman that you get in to a relationship may suffer. Take your time.

You are not ready to be engaged and thinking about a life long commitment. Go and explore your sexuality with guys a bit more. When you are comfortable you may want to open a discussion about your curiosity with your g/f.

[dm330]

Yeah, you're bi. It took me a while to come to terms with my sexuality and although I'm still in the closet, I'm comfortable myself with being bisexual. I was only 8 when I sucked my best friend's dick and never sucked another dick till I was 26, although at 23 I did get my first bj from a guy. I got lots of blowjobs from guys before I finally tried sucking for myself. Prior to all that, I had considered myself straight, even though I would look at the guys while we changed during gym class in high school. I fought my feelings for years until the day I got that first bj from a guy. Everybody is different though. I feel comfortable with my sexuality towards myself and with those who know I'm bi. I don't flaunt it, I don't bring up the subject. Try not to fret over it too much. Just be true to yourself, but decide before you get married if a secret lifestyle is one you want to try to keep. It might work, but she also might find out. Consider all that ahead of time, so you don't put your marriage and your reputation in jeopardy. Good luck to you man.

[Gearbox]

Got to admit that I don't think anybody should get engaged at 22, but least of all someone who clearly hasn't explored sex & sexuality anywhere near enough yet. I could say that of many 52yo's too.
IF your intended fiancée is the kind that will allow or help you explore yourself, then I'd drag her down the isle as fast as you can, coz she is definitely right for you. BUT if she isn't that type.....you are wrong for each other.
Sorry you're getting doom & gloom, but it's better than making a HUGE mistake. You should be enjoying yourself and getting to know who that is.

[sysper]

i kinda agree with what the other guys have written. u gotta resolve resolve ur feelings before u committ to ur fiance. i know how hard it could be. homosexual behavior is still looked down upon in society so alot of people do things on the d/l & some feel so much pressure they repress there sexuality & get put into situations they shouldn't really be in because of the assumption of heterosexuality. this can end in disaster. u gotta dig deep inside & ask urself some serious questions & find ways to answer those questions. u gotta be set to be for ur future wife in everyway u can see. i realize it's hard to start on this search which could threaten ur wedding, but u gotta do it. u also should be frank with ur fiance about it, u owe it to her to be honest. i won't lie, this might hurt her. i think alot of women tend to be hurt if the find out a guy there with tries guys. it's like they feel like they have failed being sexual enough for the guys. seems to affect women more than men. so be prepared to deal with that if u tell ur fiance. this might end ur engagement, but this is better than getting married & keeping this part of urself a secret. it's just gonna make serious problems.

[Ja&Ve]

Don't do it. You marry her and you do her a fucking huge disservice. If you love her, tell her and let her make informed choices. You are already cheating and you haven't even walked down the aisle. Continuing doing that after marriage would be a serious dick move.

[Visexual]

Don't worry about whether you're bi or not. Even straight people fuck around. Just worry about the girl being the right person for you. But, just like a person should tell a fiancé about their past experiences with other's of the opposite sex, you should tell her about your bi experiences before you get married. Don't keep that secret to haunt you and possibly cause trouble later on.

If she's OK with it, like Gearbox said, you've probably found Miss Right.

[elian]

Knowing nothing else about you or your fiance it is hard to gauge the whole situation.

I would say as much as you might not want to hurt her feelings or cause awkwardness for yourself or your family - if you enjoy the thought of other guys playing with you then you need to be honest with your fiance..she is going to want to know why you aren't going through with it anyway.. If she doesn't know you have these feelings then she can't make an informed decision about spending the rest of her life with you. She probably will be on here next week saying "My boyfriend is 22 and he just told me he's bisexual - what do I do?" There are no fixed answers, good communication, honesty as much as possible, love and patience..and being confident in yourselves and what you want out of a relationship.

There are some open minded women who get turned on by the idea of seeing two guys together, or playing more of a dominant role in pleasuring a man. Of course, everyone that knows you who you tell will likely re-evaluate their own feelings and their relationship with you but hopefully you will have some good friends who will stick by you. You might be able to gauge how some people will react before you tell them, some people might surprise you..

if you are talking about getting married - if you can't tell your wife your concerns then who can you tell? No matter what, hopefully she's understand that it isn't that you don't love her.. In my mind, to be honest means that you love her more; although I don't know how she will take it.

At 22 you may still not know exactly what you want, that's okay - notice I'm trying not to use a label but it is true that bisexual people feel either sexual or romantic attraction toward both genders. If you haven't had different sexual experiences then you may not know what you really want..I think that's a normal part of maturing.

[BisexualCouple1992]

I have told her that I think i am bi and she is 100% ok with it. Shes told me that she wants to be involved in a threesome with me and another man where the guy pleasures both of us. I have never sucked a dick or taken a dick in the ass. But I have thought about it and it gets me hard as fuck.

[sysper]

it's great she's able to support u in exploring this! be carefull though, u got the potential to bring up emotions u might not be expecting if ur a copule & u bring some1 else in bed with u. so make sure u talk about ur feelings & expectations alot with ur fiance & then with the guy. also remember if it's a 3sum she is part of this so be considerate of her.

[Ja&Ve]

If she's good with it, go for it then. You have done the thing by telling her and not only do you gave a girl who understands but wants to play too? Then have fun.

[elian]

That's wonderful news - I don't know if there is anything better than being able to share -anything- with your partner and still have them show tolerance/acceptance or love. I would still hold off on getting married until you both have the experience to know for sure it is what you want to do.

[BisexualCouple1992]

should I go try something with another guy? I dont know what to do. I will say this I did start sucking a guys dick one time but I started gagging after a few seconds because I thought it was weird. I think I want to try it again but I dont have anywhere to do it because I live with my best friend and another guy that i am becoming good friends with. What do yall think i should do

[Ja&Ve]

Do what you are comfortable with and what your lady is comfortable with. Only you can define you.

[tenni]

should I go try something with another guy? I dont know what to do. I will say this I did start sucking a guys dick one time but I started gagging after a few seconds because I thought it was weird. I think I want to try it again but I dont have anywhere to do it because I live with my best friend and another guy that i am becoming good friends with. What do yall think i should do

I think that you need to do what you want and not what she wants. If you both want a third male to service you both, then all is excellent. It seems that having oral sex with a man is something that you want...at least being sucked on. Would your g/f giving you oral be enough? It doesn't seem so. Did your g/f talk about the third man pleasing you or joining in when the guy goes down on your dick?

You have been doing things with another guy. What do you exactly mean by your first question? What m2m fantasies do you have? Are these fantasies involving a man and a woman? If so, they your g/f idea will work well. Not all bi men are comfortable in m f m threesomes but many are. Some biguys in the early stages especially may want one on one with a man. Is that what you mean by your first question?

However, you are in an early stage of exploration. Your menu may change whatever it is at now. (you may want to try something other than being serviced by a man) Presently, you seem not comfortable putting another guy's dick in your mouth. You do not have to deep throat the guy as you know the most sensitive part it the tip.. No need to gag yourself. Only do what you are comfortable doing. Self homophobia may be in play or you simply are only comfortable receiving.

As far as a location for you to have sex with a man and excluding your g/f, you may have to seek out guys with a place or split the rent of a hotel room.

Good luck.

[elian]

Hard to say - I don't give blowjobs to just anybody - it has to be someone that I want to pleasure..and even then it's not always my favorite thing to do. Different people like different people and different behaviors and activities to various degrees. Mutual masturbation might be fun.

I'm getting tired of this routine to the point where I don't even date much anymore but the protocol for onlnie dating seems to be get to know the person as much as possible online, talk on the phone, meet in a public place for dinner or coffee - see if the person is stable and there is a mutual interest. If you have a partner who is open to you exploring your desires then maybe she will help pick the third person. You might decide to split the cost of a hotel room like tenni said. If you think you want to try something that is very risky like anal sex then you need to use condoms. If you can meet someone local who you trust (or who you both trust), that's even better than online dating.

A lot of straight guys can't stand the thought of anal sex but prostate massage can be fun, do you trust another guy, or a woman enough to do that? I think if most guys knew they could have multiple orgasms from anal stimulation they might try it more often. Toys are a lot of fun in this regard if you don't want to have full-on sex either you can use them or someone else can use them on you. ..and lube - lots of lube - because it can be painful and it can be a lot of work but usually starts feeling pretty good after about the 100th stroke..

..having said all of that some guys or ladies don't want to have anything to do with anal and that's fine too. It's all in what your needs and desires are - and if you want to be open to your partner then her needs and desires as well.

I don't think any one of us has all of the answers, maybe the best advice would be to just try to relax about your sexuality if you can and do what comes natural to you..it's not a race.

[void()]

* hug bombs elian *

Listen to elian. He is very wise, caring, loving. Yes, I would know from experience with him.

Me & him both had some issues regarding trust, relaxing. Think we did find a nice spot a few times.
He is correct, it really is not a race. There is also no right way except for what both partners find
they can enjoy together. Also, forget all the glitzy porn crap. Roughly 90-95% of it is just that,
crap.

*hug bombs elian again, this time copping a feel of that sexy ass, whispering*
"Oh but to tell you to come on to bed right about now ..." *chuckles and ambles on*