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  1. #1
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    I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I am a mostly straight guy acts straight talks straight but when I'm horny I get off more on guy on guy porn (no anal just play) than straight porn but once I cum I turn completely back to not being attracted to this. It's weird I don't know how to explain it, I'm not homophobic I'm a very open mined guy but I don't feel that I am gay stuff like that arouses me only when I'm horny. Anyone else have this problem?

  2. #2
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Many guys do, especially when they're young.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    The problem is that you are never going to be total sexually satisfied by anything other than male-male sex.That does not mean that you give up sex with females.Nothing unusual about losing interest in sex after orgasm until you are ready to unload again.

    JEM

  4. #4

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Thant sounds like an individual thing. I tend to agree with the subject line: I'm bisexual when I'm horny. When I'm not horny, not so much. If I'm aroused, I look at gay porn and I'm completely turned on. If I rub one out in that state of mind, as soon as I bust one, I'm pretty much turned off by the whole proposition. However, I find that in the limited actual physical experiences that that I have had with guys, the "refraction" thing is not so pronounced...I still feel pretty good about the experience, even if it didn't go so swimmingly.

    The issue that I find most telling is the degree to which I'm perceiving positive response from females that I am particularly attracted to. If I'm getting significant play from women that really turn me on, I tend to find the prospect of getting it on with another guy somewhat surprisingly repellant. There's a dynamic in attracting women that seems to be counter to homosexual impulses - the 'alpha male' thing, I guess. When my confidence with women is lower, I am a lot more open to sex with a man. But then too, I think that this has to do with my orientation toward male sex partners leaning much more toward being a bottom. Women want tops, and it's hard to be a top when you're thinking bottom, so it makes sense to me that, being more bottom oriented toward men, that part of me gets turned off when I'm tuning in to women.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    very interesting, this happens to me often too, much more often in my earlier years. i haven't been with a guy & i think about trying it, but what happens after i cum? makes me question if i wanna try guys in the 1st place. but if what robin said is right it might not be so bad. it would be very interesting to compare to gay guys & str8 guys.

  6. #6
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    One of my biggest fears in having sex with a guy was how I was going to feel afterwards. For a long time, I could barely look at myself in the mirror after coming when using gay fantasies or gay porn. When it finally happened, it wasn't as bad as I feared. Pretty much just wanted a sandwich like usual. I think the next day was more difficult. Mainly because he was a gay guy and I was horrified of having a dude fall in love with me. I had to have a long and difficult discussion with him about 'nsa sport sex'. Come to find out, guys will agree to anything as long as it keeps the sex coming. Too bad for him.

  7. #7

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I have similar situations when I feel aroused. Fantasies of men & women start to pop in my head. Sometimes it is just women. After I get an orgasm all those lesbian feelings go away, and I feel completely straight. When I was younger I thought that it means I'm 100% lesbian, but now I accepted it.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    What struck me about the OP is that he used the word “bi” to identify his attraction to same sex. Yet, that is not exactly what bi means? Anyway, I agree that whether it is male or female porn that you are jerking off to, after cumin the lack of interest is normal. Does the OP have the same loss of interest when he has sex with women?..maybe not a long time but..

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    Smile Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I was the same, but grew out of it.
    Now I get hornier after I cum and want it more.


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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I'm the same with both men and women! I'm not grossed out by either I just lose my desire for sex. I read and article on line by a bisexual Dr. about this same subject a few years ago. If I remember correctly he said men are sexually driven by testosterone and after a orgasm his testosterone level lowers. At a younger age it rises faster maybe as fast as 10-15 min. At my age 58 it takes longer like 4-5hrs damn it!!!!!! Haha But anyway it makes sense to me what he had said.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    For some “Am I normal?” comparative input:

    When I was younger sex was safer, and NSA sex with another man was easier to find. Whether it was kneeling at a glory hole, or hooking up with someone at an interstate highway rest area crowded with like-minded men. Most of us were married and didn’t want to complicate our relationships. Many times I tried to exchange information for a ‘rematch’. All but one were in a hurry to go after afterward, and didn’t want to consider a next time at the moment.

    The opportune places weren’t just up the road. The urge would grow until cock was pretty much all I could think of. I would do it for a while, then not, until the obsession would build again. One session was seldom enough. When I finally met a guy that was into a weekly get together I was up for it every time.

    Now at 64 I’d do it if the opportunity were right, not with just any Tom’s Dick is Harry. Safety is the issue – not what the man looks like. If the moment hits just right, horniness may cloud judgment to some extent.

    Some day I’d like to fall asleep, both of us spent, with a cock in my mouth and a ball or two on my nose. I wonder how it would compare to snuggling with a woman after.

    That’s enough. Next click xnxx for a safe release.

    Cum1st
    Last edited by Cum1st; May 3, 2014 at 4:33 PM.

  12. #12
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    It's not so much the lack of interest in sex post-orgasm that I have trouble with. It's feeling outright remorse and shame. I had a long session of "sexting" with a guy last weekend...a dom guy who wants to make me his sub. I was really getting into it and saying the most depraved, slutty things, calling him "master" and saying how I wanted to be his bitch, jerking off all the while. Well as soon as I came I looked over the texts I'd sent him and couldn't believe it had been me who'd typed those things. I walked around in a funk for the rest of the day trying to make sense of my conflicted emotions....still don't quite know what to make of it.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    funny thing, i have felt the same way. i remember 1 time i was on cam & telling all these guys to fuck me. well when i came i felt selfconscious, embarassed & ashamed. i've never been with a guy in real life, but it really makes me wonder what would happen if i was with a guy & i came. but lately it's been more of a quieter "what am i trying to prove?" still trying to figure it out. maybe we're both dead in someway & looking for a thrill to revive us, like doing something out of the ordinary & imagining being a guy's bitch. then when the excitement is over we gotta different perspective.

  14. #14

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    A little similar here the first time I was with a guy, except I lost interest after he came. I was so full of lust for his cock and talking dirty, but once he shot, I just felt the need to split. No interest at all in sex of any kind and I had not had an orgasm.

    The second guy, I still didn't have any interest in getting off after I sucked him to orgasm, but I didn't want to leave. We lay together naked on his bed cuddling for over an hour, just talking.

    Still looking for the third time, maybe that one will be the charm.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Let me start by saying I'm brand new to this forum and see some interesting threads that relate to how I'm feeling. Secondly, I think I agree with the subject line. I'm married, 47, professional, bi-curious(??), average man and build. Never been with another guy but think I want too! Although, not looking to change my married life but think I want to experience the touch, taste and feel of another man's parts in me.
    I do go on chat lines and/or watch web cams of other guys and once I JO, feeling will subside until next time.
    Other guys seem to confirm the experience is great and keep to separate lives.
    AM I normal or just simply horny and looking for that outlet.
    Great place to share....Thanks

  16. #16
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I think we all have the same thoughts if u every want to chat yahoo IM me lov2look4

  17. #17

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Is this not how most of us start being bi after you exsperince it once then you crave it

  18. #18
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Everyone's different.

    I remember lusting after my sixth grade teacher, a man, but also having strong sexual desire for my fifth grade teacher, who was a woman.

    I had several experiences early in life that told me very clearly that I was attracted and very turned on by both males and females. My first true romantic crush was on a boy at school and we enjoyed each other quite a bit until he broke my heart; that was in sixth/seventh grade. My first girlfrined was in eighth grade and we enjoyed each other very much as well.

    Having been married most of my adult life, I didn't suppress my attraction to men, but never acted upon (at least not very often), but when I really (and I mean REALLY) need to get off, it's guy-on-guy porn that gets me to that place!

    I've heard recently a phrase that I find edifying: "Bisexual-heteroromatic," which describes someone who enjoys sex with the both sexes, but only has romantic feels for the opposite sex.

  19. #19

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I've been reading this forum for 4 days and I feel like I have to post something since I recognized myself a lot in this thread. Btw, pardon my english, i'm french canadian.

    First I must say that my first sexual act I was 15 or 16 years old. It was with a older men I met online (he was probably between 20 and 25 years old). Even today I cannot tell you if he was a pedophile, I have no clue, and I do not care because it did not traumatize me at all (long term). Not much happen when I met him at is place. First, we kiss for about 3 second and I wanted to puke, I hated the feeling of kissing a guy, sorry, not my thing. Then he suck my cock, I did not enjoy it at first because of his small beard (texture) and the overall feeling, but when he deepthroat my big cock (7 inches at the time), it felt warm, like my dick was taking take care of. So I did enjoy it, but only when he was deepthroating + I was kinda thinking about a girl (I could not really look down since i'm not physically attracted to guys, and probably never will be). So after I dont know 5-10 min maybe? I came inside his mouth. I immediately feel weird (like, «ok wtf i'm doing here, I need to go!». Nothing else happen, I just leave after that.

    The reason why I try with a guy first is actually simple. I was bully since the age of 6 at school, so I had no self confidence to talk to girls (social phobia). It was only psychological bullying, but when you're been call a faggot and every terms related every day at school and you don't talks to girls, you start to believe that «maybe» ur gay. So I needed to know if I was gay (or BI), but it took a long time before I had the guts to meet a guy. After that day, I knew I was definetly not attracted to guys mentaly (dating) or sexualy.

    But the story doesnt end here, for the next like 2 years after that (I think it actually start before I met the guy but i'm not sure), I was really into cam to cam with guys. Std stuff you know cam to cam masturbation (as long as I only see the cock, and not the face, face would turn me off). I liked back then when the guy on cam was writing dirty to me, it make me so horny, I was replying back of course. Sometime I was so horny I would put a finger inside my ass while masturbating on cam (but I did it so few time that it was not deep at all). Just having a finger inside my ass make my orgasm much stronger. Some other time I was even hornier so I would ask the guy if he want me to cum all over my pretty face (self facial). (Just writing this right now make me horny so I'm actually tasting my pre-cum as we speak, I love pre-cum). Of course nobody ever say no. So I did it, and everytime the same thing happen, once I cum on my face on cam, I insta snap quit the cam and delete the guy. It's like if i'm no longer horny, I feel disgusted by what just happen (like «wtf i'm doing with cum on my face?»).

    I have to precise that at the time I was watching straight and lesbian porn, no gay porn, and to this day I have watch gay porn maybe 3 times and I never enjoy it.

    So after that, when I turn I think 20, I was still a virgin until I fuck a girl I met online (we fuck maybe 5 time in 2 weeks, a big deal when ur virgin). I discover really quick fucking her that I love it, I love fucking her, kissing her, eating pussy, boobs, etc. I met another girl soon after and fuck her also, but I discover very quick that she was a lesbian (she didnt wanted to be kissed or wtv), it was obv and I was right.

    After that, from the age of 20 to like 26, I did not had sex with anyone. I was really into porn (straight, lesbian, but also MILF, asian, ebony, sometime gagging, etc). During that time I develop a lot of fantasy, no particular one, I just wanted to try new stuff that look exciting. It was also during that time that I started fingering my ass and cumming all over my face (without having to do cam to cam). I was doing that occasionaly, when I was feeling really horny watching some anal porn (guys pounding the girl ass). I never swallow, because everytime once I cum... I ran to the bathroom! Even when I try to motivate myself to still be horny after cumming it was not working.

    So I hit 27 years old, and I decided to go live in Thailand for a year (I was a semi-pro online poker player, and bachelar student in psychology). That trip change my sexual life! Thailand is a very open country when it come to sexuality. They have a lot of ladyboys over there (transgenre pre and post op) and they are physicaly amazing, like sometime I was not believing my eye that they were once a guy. I did nothing with a ladyboy during my trip there (I think I was not ready), but I did visit some «donjon», and some others weird looking places. I was curious..., and I had sex with girls only during my trip (again, i'm not physicaly attracted to men).

    It's only when I come back from Thailand that it struck me. I was watching some porn, sometime some shemale porn, and I was horny because she was a girl with a male dick. When I was younger, like most curious guy, I did try to suck my own dick, but it never work, even tho I was really skinny. Actually, it did work sometime, but I could only lick it for couple of sec, because it was too difficult (I needed maybe 6-7 more centimeter to make it enjoyable, I feel bad that I didnt know what yoga was back then).

    So about 6 months ago I had some gay dream, well not really gay dream, but I was dreaming that I was sucking a male cock. Not kissing, cuddling, fucking him or whatever, it was all about sucking a completely shaved good looking cock. So I start watching more shemale porn, I discover Long Mint, I became obsess with her gigantic dick. I fantasize about sucking her so she can cum all over my pretty face while I have my tongue out and she moans. During that time I was cumming more and more into my own face (maybe once a week), even sometime I was unloading in my mouth with my tongue out. I did swallow part of it maybe 2-3 times, but it has to happen the first 1-2 second I ejaculate, or I... yeah, run to the bathroom to take kleenex! Yeah, I was watching all kind of porns, not just that, this is just a example.

    So fast forward 4 days ago, I ran into this forum (prior to that for the last maybe 2-3 months I had not fingering my ass or cum on my face). First thread I read was the 1st time you ate cum, I was horny for 5 hours after that! I then read the thread about anal sex orgasm, and god I think after reading those two thread + couple of others I ejaculate 3 time a day (usually only 1 time, 2 if it's a very horny day), but now 3 time a day, wtf? I started yesterday having fantasy about getting my ass fuck so I could have a ass orgasm. When it come to women I love everything, when it come to men I only care about their cock (sucking it and getting fuck by it, even tho I have never done it before).

    I think I realized yesterday I might have some submissive fantasy (like recreating in a way what happen in school, even tho if it happen the guy won't be a bully). I do have some submissive and dominant fantasy with girls, but i've never experience it. With guy again it's all about their cock. Maybe what I need is a girl that like to put a strap on, I dunno. But a dildo is not a real cock... and I feel like part of my fantasy is also about the guy moaning and cumming all over my pretty face and me swallowing (see, just saying that right now make me very horny!).

    So am I BI? I don't think so, am I straight? I don't think so..., I cannot really point out what I am exactly. A straight guy that is attracted to shemale? Maybe..., because I would rather suck a shemale cock than a guy cock (because the shemale look like a girl). I know that porn play a big role in my sexual fantasies, and this forum is pretty cool because I can identify to many members. But i'm still a bit confuse about where my fantasies will lead me. I do not want to one day wake up and be unable to have «normal sex» with a woman (without her slapping me hard in the face or me making her gag my cock, or any other fantasy example). Having one or more fantasy is fine with me as long as I dont depend only on these to have great sex (I have great «normal sex», soft sex and rough sex, with woman, and I dont want to lose that to a exclusive fantasy). But I want to be able to experience some of my fantasy, without becoming a «deviant» that can only orgasm while receiving a physical beating or stuff like that (sometime fantasy go to far, I study psychology and i've heard a case of a guy cutting is own penis to feel pain because pain was not strong enough...).

    What I think is that as long as I dont cum while sucking the guy cock, I will enjoy it, even swallowing, I do love my pre-cum a lot. Same if the guy fuck me, I need to make sure I dont cum (actually I think it's gonna be the easy part, because I will be so anxious!). I want to suck my first cock soon..., (and than maybe get fuck in the ass but long after, like months after, i'm not sure yet). Also I didnt mention it (well I said I love everything about women), but my #1 about women is eating boobs, big one especially. I love the feeling, more than pussy (I do like eating pussy too obv), but there something about the boobs, I cannot pinpoint exactly what.

    Anyways, sorry again for the long text and the bad english. I hope I didnt scare everybody . I obv forgot a lot of things, trying to resume very fast. Now i'm very horny (when i'm very horny I get irritated so I have to masturbated or I will not be able to sleep). It usually happen like 2-3 days a month but it's been 4 days in a row now... because of you guys! I'm getting addicted to read and reread the same 2-3 threads. Well, I think I have nothing more to say for now!

  20. #20
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    The problem with the internet is that it breeds men that mostly only think about it when they are horny. Why? Well from what I have learned over the years is that men are more willing when horny so it would seem like an easy fix. It is sad how many men we have talked to that talk the talk but when it comes down to actually meeting it is always a bust.

    Me personally, I am just as attracted to men as I am women. And that mostly starts with attitude. If you act like an ass, then I don't care how hot you are, I will just ignore you. I have had sex with guys that would not make the hot list in most peoples eyes,but they were total sweethearts and turned me on that way first.

    I think to many are here only because they are horny and as soon as they cam and get off the fantasy is gone. It is sad really, but we continue to try. So many men and so little time. Ha ha. Happy humping!!

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Strange how that works out, I only think of food when I'm hungry, but when I'm horny I usually only think about women and then when I'm looking at porn women sucking cocks I find that a turn on and I start to wonder what it would be like to suck a man's cock myself. It's a relative to time and space, where you are, who you're with and your state of arousal.

  22. #22

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Quote Originally Posted by aLABiM75 & StrF51 View Post
    I was the same, but grew out of it.
    Now I get hornier after I cum and want it more.

    WOW. What's the secret?

  23. #23
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I wish there were more replies to the original poster, I feel exactly the same way. I am only attracted to women when at work or with friends, ambivalent towards guys. When my SIG. Other used to leave for a long period I would jump on the chance to shave my asshole, dress in her sexy lingere and fuck myself with her toys. I would moan like a girl and relish the thought of being plowed by a guy but the instant it was over I became ashamed of myself, thanked my stars I wasn't actually doing it and promised myself I was done doing that act. After a time suspiciously close to my refractory period I was open to the thought of doing the whole act again. What the fuck... I still feel that way and long for sex with a guy when I am aroused but can't bring myself to try it outvof a looming fear of the regret I have always known to follow my fantasies. Does anyone know a way to get beyond this? Furthermore, has anyone actually felt the regret of which I am so afraid?

  24. #24
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    It looks like many of us feel exactly the same way. I'm really only into cock when I'm very horny and admittedly that goes in waves. I'm highly attracted to women and prefer the aesthetics all the time. My one and only time MM I felt guilt after I came but forced myself to go through getting fucked because I knew that coming always had me feeling guilty and I didn't have that many opportunities available. I'm glad I did although I occasionally still feel the guilt. Its made it easier to abstain from another hookup because the virginities are gone.

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    makes sense, u had some curiosity on a few levels & u let urself get the answer. once u got the answer u had nothing more to seek really. good for u i got similar feelings & i hope i have the courage to give it a try. i got the feeling i would have a similar experiance too & not needing to try it nemore, but i still feel a push to try it for real & find out for sure. u have gone beyond that & are probably more @ peace with urself than me. i do agree with preferring women's aesthetics there's just something about women that makes me prefer them by a mile to guys. but i have come a long way with accepting my curiosities & working on not feeling guilty about them. it's something both of us gotta work on but we know it to be the truth

  26. #26

    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    I used to feel the same way. I don't know how to explain it, but gay stuff sort of grew on me over the past several years. I'm never going to have any romantic feeling for another guy, but I don't lose sexual interest nearly as much in the aftermath anymore.

  27. #27
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Is it the man that you are attracted to, or the idea of "getting off", "Shooting a load", etc. ?

    Never thought about it in that great of detail before but my own level of desire is proportional to watching others build up to orgasm and the orgasm itself .. and it really doesn't matter if it is male or female..there are certain things for each gender that I enjoy about either sex feelimg intense desire, urgency, pleasure, release and quiet. I like "people" - a lot of times it is so much easier for me to become attracted to a man, but there are certain women I find attactive as well. Who I am attracted to seems to inolve a combination of factors - personality, physical features, intelligence, level of chemistry - spirit, etc, etc..

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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Definitely seems like this is a common trend. I honestly considered trying it with a guy and not allowing myself to climax. From what I can tell, if I remain horny I don't get any of the negative. Maybe I should try it with a guy and only get him off and not climax, that way I'm still horny afterward and can have a chance to digest my feelings for a few days. Anyone ever try that? For those that have experimented, did you notice anything that helped with the regret? I'm looking for what the key features might be that would help alleviate them.

  29. #29
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Quote Originally Posted by liberia View Post
    Definitely seems like this is a common trend. I honestly considered trying it with a guy and not allowing myself to climax. From what I can tell, if I remain horny I don't get any of the negative. Maybe I should try it with a guy and only get him off and not climax, that way I'm still horny afterward and can have a chance to digest my feelings for a few days. Anyone ever try that? For those that have experimented, did you notice anything that helped with the regret? I'm looking for what the key features might be that would help alleviate them.
    I'm really glad this thread was started as I feel the exact same way. Until I'm aroused I have no desire to be with another man sexually. I also fear the regret that may happen after an encounter and that's most likely the reason it hasn't happened yet. Before it could ever happen I would need to become VERY close friends with the guy. That way it would be more an act of giving and receiving pleasure versus a random sexual encounter which, hopefully, would alleviate any of the regret later on.

  30. #30
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    Re: I think I'm only bi when I'm horny...

    Ok so, if the guy is not a total douche you can actually lay there and enjoy being with each other AFTER the climax; it's a natural part of having sex I think. You are seeing someone, and they are seeing you - at one of your most intimate and vulnerable times. It's not a sin to want to care for people and want to experience pleasure together in a loving way

    What helped with the regret? I don't do one night stands, I try to build an actual friendship with folks first so I can relate to them.

    Not beating myself up for wanting to be happy in the arms of another man. Deciding that I could either be miserable for the rest of my life trying to do what I *thought* other people wanted me to do in order to gain their approval or be happy being myself. (Note that what you think other people want, and what they actually think are two different things, and you won't know for sure until you try it.)

    Being able to be around older people with more experience who accepted me and gave me the confidence to grow instead of shaming me.

    Having a desire to heal, wanting to care for other people. Self-love and self-acceptance, over the course of about 10 years of learning that nothing in the world is perfect but something doesn't have to be perfect in order to be beautiful or worthy of love and respect. Human beings are built to make mistakes - that's how we learn..by observing the contrasts in our lives..

    Viewing the divine as a loving partner who ultimately wants to see me reach my full potential, rather than an overbearing "angry old white guy" who wants only to punish his petulant children. Many people here on the East Coast still seem to live by the "Puritan State Motto" - "First toil, then, the grave!"

    You can almost see someone flogging themselves with a whip their whole lives by the way they drive and the way they act. Tell you a little secret - Yes, you have to be responsible for your own life; but we did not come here to be prisoners. We came here to learn, sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's easy.

    "Having more stuff" doesn't make you happy. Happiness is sort of like a side effect, the result of what you accomplish with the tools you have been given. At its core, this world provides for everyone. Rich or poor, young or old, democrat or republican, gay, straight, bi, trans, etc. - It does not discriminate..."the great mother" does not SELL her children into slavery. It is only what we've made of it that makes it the way it is. I still think you should work hard and that people who succeed should be rewarded, but I also recognize that I would not be successful with the community around me, and as a result I want to give back.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7iu_mwx_8Q

    ..and I usually hate advertsiting but this helped too .. it's not perfect, but it gave me enough of a shift in perspective to break out of a cycle of self-loathing. http://amzn.com/157062903X

    Quote Originally Posted by liberia View Post
    Definitely seems like this is a common trend. I honestly considered trying it with a guy and not allowing myself to climax. From what I can tell, if I remain horny I don't get any of the negative. Maybe I should try it with a guy and only get him off and not climax, that way I'm still horny afterward and can have a chance to digest my feelings for a few days. Anyone ever try that? For those that have experimented, did you notice anything that helped with the regret? I'm looking for what the key features might be that would help alleviate them.
    Last edited by elian; Jun 24, 2014 at 5:05 AM.

 

 

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