Hi, I'm looking for suggestions on how to meet a bi male friend. It's difficult too and most guys just want a hookup, a one time thing . I'd like a friendship with a guy and sex of course so if any one can help me I'll accept your suggestions. Thank you
You are in same boat as me, it is VERY HARD to find someone, If ur area is like mine here, guys here are online just to play games, and not serious at all. I wished I knew how to find someone in real life by conversation somehow, I think chances are greater in real life by dumb luck that a converstion goes the Bi way then on the m/m websites
I know what you're saying. Most people are just looking for a quick hookup and don't seem to be interested in getting to know the person to develop a friendship first. Guess I'm also looking for suggestions.
The last time i met someone new we spent about two hours talking to each other in a bookstore coffee shop..it was clear that the gentleman at that time could use a friend more than a sex buddy and I was okay with that.
It is a consistent problem with those looking for anything other than banging uglies and moving on. I wish there was solution but it has eluded me.
I know how you guys feel, I am in the same boat. If I could just find a couple friends with benefits I would be happy.
Rick
It's tired old advise but I still believe it. Your best best for finding a guy is on line imo. The pool is huge. That's also a problem. Put an ad out there. Be very honest in what you are looking for. Spend time getting to know the candidates you reply to. You will have plenty of disappointments but stick with it. He's out there, looking for you as well.
I've found several guys over the years who would be my perfect buddy but, they all seem to live far away. If more of us would post ads in websites, we'd have that pool of prospects to draw from. And, honestly, if we'd all be more open and honest about ourselves it'd sure help too!
I've worn a beret, a badge, and a suit and tie. Now I prefer wearing nothing!
Most men, at one time or another, have wished they could suck their own cocks.
A real man, admits he'd like to suck other cocks
When you put out an honest ad with a detailed profile stating you are looking for an ongoing situation or answer ads with the same you have done the leg work. When the responses you get are: "you wrote a book all I need to know is are you a top or bottom" or one liners like "Send pictures" or "when can you host" you know you are not getting far.
I'd go with Elian's 'meeting up for a chat' first. No sex involved for the first meet!
As just about EVERYBODY knows, blokes will say ANYTHING to get a shot at sex with you. But few would bother meeting for a chat if they are not really interested in getting to know you. They'd go elsewhere for a def sex romp.
So advertise what you are looking for and stick to your guns!
That certainly happens more often than not. Then again, that easily eliminates the guy from further consideration.Originally Posted by Coastocoast
You might try as I have and post your ad in non- sex venues such as the Craigslist M2M Strictly Platonic section. Advertise as someone looking to chat with other bi guys about queer stuff, or some such. Mention that all you're interested in to start with is some e-mail chat but are not averse to moving up to phone chat and eventually meeting in person if things go well.
Yes, you'll still get replies from those only interested in sex but those are simply deleted. I've had some nice, albeit short lived, discussions with some who have replied. It hasn't come to a face to face meeting yet, but that was mostly because responders lived too far away or our available times didn't match up. Still, those ads have been fun and the Strictly Platonic section is more likely to draw guys to it that aren't only interested in a quick hook up.
Same here....had some interesting interactions on line with people, and it seems few if any want a serious friendship. Couples (I look for MF) are a whole 'nuther story...but I refer to men, and I'm just not sure what they fear. It frightens me when I see a post on Craigs, or a website like this, Silver Daddies, or others, where I reach out to someone, and they are willing to come over that night (!). Then if you suggest "we meet for coffee or a drink and get acquainted first" they stop answering e-mails and basically run away. Maybe some people like the rush of random sex hookups (God knows I did in my teens and early 20's), but at this point in my life, safety, discretion, and something with some shred of meaning would be a whole lot nicer.....
Most bi and gay men that you meet online on this site, and other sites are just looking for sex. It's also like this with a lot of men in bars and clubs. When I've been single if a guy told me he wanted to be "friends" but then would flirt with me or tell me I was handsome, "friends with benefits" or a "fuck buddy" that means they want just sex. I have gay and bi male friends who get sick and tired of this BS and don't go on certain sites or to bars, clubs, or places because of how desperate some men are with thinking that because you talk to them it means you want to have sex with them.
Last edited by DiamondDog; Oct 7, 2013 at 12:19 AM.
Finding bi friends is definitely a challenge but its something we get better at with experience. I have met really nice guys here at Bisexual.com as well as on Manhunt These sites are no different than a city street with everyone from the most amazing person you have met to the creep you cross the street to get away from but the benefit is all the straight people have been stripped away. One of the bigest issues we face is invisibility, in our day to day lives its hard to pick out the bi ones from the straight. Out and about in our community is not the place to randomly ask if they are bi and will be our bi friend, except for places like maybe Provincetown. Ive found the online sites remove the risk of offending or worse the wrong person. As others have said its your profile write what you are looking for a stick with it. The online sites with the smartphone proximity feature are also a great place to find guys near you,I love 0 feet away LOL.
I have also had really good luck meeting bi and gay friends by seeking out places where GLBT folks hang out. I go to bi/gay community pot luck suppers some with as many as 50-60 guys. If you enjoy social nudity there are many gay social nudist groups and bi/gay clothing optional resorts. These are great social situations to meet and make new friends. It also gives married guys like me a chance to immerse myself with others who understand my gay side.. It takes time and persistence but it is very possible to cobble together exactly the kind of life you are looking for. If you are near a city like Hartford,New Haven etc there are GLBT community centers check with them for events and opportunities to socialize. Hope this helps.
Someone pushed the boundaries with me when I was very young - so it is a little too easy for me to blur the line between sex and love. I have to re-learn the line between friendship, love and sex..and I love being affectionate - touches, nuzzles. In a way it's a little bit hellish - because if my mind was right, I could appreciate my friends for just being friends and not think of anything more but as it stands with certain ones I feel very close to - it is so easy to think of loving them even if that's not really what they want.
I have had good luck with adultfriendfinder.com . It is definitely a weeding out process . I have met some very nice guys and a couple of couples there . On going things I mean , not just one timers . There have been a few of those as well . Like I said , a process !
I have been looking for a FWB for a few years now. I used to try Craigslist and in fact did meet one person for coffee through that site. After we met we both decided that there was not enough attraction between us. There would need to be some connection between me and a new friend for anything to happen. I also think that is why my finding a friend is going to be a process rather than a chance meeting. Most people that responded to my CL ads didn't invest anytime in small talk or chit chat. Others sent back a few email replies with what seemed to be tailored responses to what they thought I wanted to hear. I think that was to speed up the actual meet-up time. I keep looking for the right Ad and sometimes renew my ads and also check out some dating sites. I see some very interesting people here on this site, but distance is a problem with meeting, and for it to be right, there may need to be a few dry run meetings.
My experience from here is it is all talk. They just want to chat and have no desire or energy to try and meet. When you do look at the people that are posting on add their comment it is the asme old washed out folks that have been on here for years and years. It is like do they not have a job , a life? Would you enjoy meeting that spends half their life on line? NOT me!!!!!!!!
Well I for one would never invite someone over to my house whom I had never met before. That is a recipe for disaster. I understand what you are saying though, I have had many respond with "can meet tonight", but when I suggest that we meet for coffee to see if we click, the conversation ends.
I have not had much luck, with the friendship. Met a guy online, that came to my house. We chatted, he asked for porn on a large screen. While watching, he took his cock out and asked me to suck it. It was a beautiful cock, and I happily swallowed it. After he came, he zipped up and left. The next week he showed up every day. Same routine... He became a pest, no friendship, wouldn't even touch my cock. So I put a stop to it... still searching hing!
I don't blame you for dropping him. He should have been giving as good as he got to reward your effort. I have 2 buddies that never want anything but to suck or get throat-fucked by me without reciprocation. Since we agreed to it in advance I am OK with that. One eventually started bottoming for me now and then.
Its not much better for BI cpls to meet other Bi cpls... So far its been damn near impossible
I'm in the same boat guys, not at all interested in the quickies in back allies or worse, just would love to meet up with a guy who likes friendship with benefits. If the postings online are any indicator at all there's tons of guys who want to try it but in real everyday life where are they?
The ability to have great conversation about whatever is ultimately important the way I see it, it's where friendships begin. It's a quality that seems to be disappearing.
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