Sex with your wife or partner

**bikiniman** · Sep 17, 2012, 8:18 PM

Since coming out as bisexual a few years ago I have found that I am more interested in having sex with men than women. I have been married 19 years and I have told my wife that I am bisexual.

I still enjoy having sex with my wife, in particular I love oral sex but find that sex in the traditional missionary position does not do it for me like it used to. I sometimes struggle to maintain an erection in this position and my wife recently asked me during sex if I would prefer she was a man. The truth is I find the prospect of sex with men much more exciting at the moment.

HAs anyone else had this experience?

How do you keep your sex life with your wife or partner exciting?

**SxyStar** · Sep 17, 2012, 9:45 PM

I'm not a man but I understand w.ht that feels like. When my husband and I have sex , he will sometimes turn on lesbian porn or get me to like and suck on his balls since he knows that I'm wanting to be with a woman again more and more. I love him and love being with him. We also try different positions to try and keep it interesting.

**Long Duck Dong** · Sep 17, 2012, 11:41 PM

variety is the spice of life... and sex lol

talk with your wife and discuss the issue you face, so you can see what options are available in the bedroom, with toys, other positions, ways of making love etc..... as that may help with the issue of the bedroom activities no longer working as good as they have in the past......

its a issue that a lot of people can find, they need a way to reignite the bedroom spark... and you could try something like a shower together or blindfolds in the bedroom.... anything that changes things around for the both of you....

while DD was here, we had a lot of random spontaneous sex, including a blowjob on the couch while we were sitting watching tv... the flatmate was sitting in his chair and never realised, shower sex, using a feeldoe... and at night, I would go to bed and then make love with DD..... now the key was that DD is as open minded as I am, so we also write hot erotic stories or create sexual fantasies in each others minds, use porn and pics spark a interest in what we would like to experience and try... and what it would be like to do some things......

even the way you and your partner dresses or undresses for bed, can be used as a way of triggering a new spark...

rather than suggest the kama sutra and the number of a good chiropractor..... do a search for ways to spice up the sexlife, sit with the wife and talk about what appeals to you both and what you may wanna try together.......

**Bisexual Explorer** · Sep 18, 2012, 6:32 AM

My interest in having sex with my wife, or any other woman for that matter, has declined as my Kinsey rating has moved to higher numbers (more homosexual). The more I have sex with men the less I want to have sex with women. My wife doesn't care about having sex with me, so my shift in interest is not an issue. It may be that for me bisexuality is a transition towards fully accepting that I am, and have always been, gay.
Bisexual Explorer

**darkeyes** · Sep 18, 2012, 7:08 AM

Originally Posted by Bisexual Explorer

It may be that for me bisexuality is a transition towards fully accepting that I am, and have always been, gay.
Bisexual Explorer

Wooo babes.. be careful bout saying that in 'ere... it may well have been a transitory stage in ur life, bisexuality, but that u have always been gay? That may be but such is the fluidity of sexuality it may not be so.. I too went through bisexuality before accepting my lesbianism.. hots and fun I had for and with guys at times tells me it was bisexuality de facto.. I just moved on.. some of us do.. some don't... some of us have sexualities and preferences which move up and down like yoyo's..

**misterfb** · Sep 18, 2012, 11:26 AM

I find that as you age, testosterone lessens. Try some testosterone enhancing herbs. Se a physician. I find Viagra gives me headaches, so anything like that might be diappointing. Sex is not always in your mind, but also in your hormones.

**Bisexual Explorer** · Sep 19, 2012, 6:55 AM

Originally Posted by darkeyes

Wooo babes.. be careful bout saying that in 'ere... it may well have been a transitory stage in ur life, bisexuality, but that u have always been gay? That may be but such is the fluidity of sexuality it may not be so.. I too went through bisexuality before accepting my lesbianism.. hots and fun I had for and with guys at times tells me it was bisexuality de facto.. I just moved on.. some of us do.. some don't... some of us have sexualities and preferences which move up and down like yoyo's..

Darkeyes,
Why do I need to be careful? What I wrote was how I feel. Yes, I used to move up and down like a yoyo (interesting imagery), but sex with a man was always more exciting, more satisfying than sex with a woman. And since joining bisexual.com - recognizing my bisexuality - I'm only going in one direction.
Bisexual Explorer

**bikiniman** · Sep 19, 2012, 8:57 AM

Originally Posted by Bisexual Explorer

And since joining bisexual.com - recognizing my bisexuality - I'm only going in one direction.
Bisexual Explorer

I feel that I am going in one direction as well but I wan't to keep up my sexual relationship with wife which I still enjoy.

**TandA91** · Sep 19, 2012, 11:24 AM

Which herbs are suggested for increasing T?
Ive used Viagra, and dealt with the headaches. Changed to Cialis, which has a lesser headache side affect, generally lasts longer, but - I feel a lower libido, which neither med takes into account.

I have also had my T level checked, and they fall into 'normal', so the doc isn't looking for therapy on that, but I see a lot of symptoms that relate, and 'normal' may not be good enough for me mentally.

**a2smith09** · Sep 20, 2012, 2:42 AM

I love having sex with my wife. We've discovered that frequent regular exercise really increases my libido.

**jebsb** · Sep 20, 2012, 8:12 AM

Originally Posted by bikiniman

Since coming out as bisexual a few years ago I have found that I am more interested in having sex with men than women. I have been married 19 years and I have told my wife that I am bisexual.

I still enjoy having sex with my wife, in particular I love oral sex but find that sex in the traditional missionary position does not do it for me like it used to. I sometimes struggle to maintain an erection in this position and my wife recently asked me during sex if I would prefer she was a man. The truth is I find the prospect of sex with men much more exciting at the moment.

HAs anyone else had this experience?

How do you keep your sex life with your wife or partner exciting?

That is exactly what i am experiencing.

**The Black Knights** · Sep 22, 2012, 9:54 AM

I think that one's sexual desire for one sex or another increases or declines based on opportunity for such as much as one's age, health and other things. I (still) have just as much desire, if not more, to be intimate with my spouse as I do with women in general, much less with men today as I did years ago. Though I have gotten more comfortable with same sex activity (or for some, doing things with transsexuals, etc) in the last decade or so, I still prefer my spouse and/or women before anyone else. But that is me. My spouse feels the same, though she has no desire to be with other men at the moment. Getting older has not changed that for me, knock on wood. If you are a married (or in a firm relationship) man or woman and you have a great sex life at home with your same OR opposite sex partner, then you may have less need OR desire, much less opportunity, to have sex with others, regardless of their sexuality. If not, for whatever reason(s), you may have more interest, desire and/or opportunity to do this or that with another of the same sex or a transsexual or of the opposite sex. If you have a supportive partner, what you choose to do when you are apart is easier. If not, problems occur. Communications and openness is the key. If you cannot be honest with your significant other about sex and your desires and vice versa, your relationship may be toast anyway, regardless of whatever else you are into.

**innaminka** · Sep 23, 2012, 7:52 AM

Originally Posted by bikiniman

I feel that I am going in one direction as well but I wan't to keep up my sexual relationship with wife which I still enjoy.

I lived in that situation for maybe 10 years. Reasonably happily, too. He was aware I was an 'active" bisexual. He didn't ask, I didn't tell.
Even to the end the sex with my hubby was great, but it is all the other emotional stuff that was going on with me ........ it became way too complicated. We parted amicably as it was what suited us both the best.

I have no solution to your situation, as each of us are different. Just do what you think is right and honorable.

**a2smith09** · Sep 23, 2012, 1:36 PM

Couples can get stuck in a rut too. Sex gets boring and monotonous. Same ol same ol kind of rut. That's when you need to upset the apple cart, change the paradigm, step outside (way outside) the comfort boundaries. Time to schedule a romantic weekend somewhere, pack the sexy underthings and the toys and get away. One getaway I tied my wife naked to a antique iron bed with silk scarves and ravished her for hours. Another time we made love outside at night on a hotel balcony overlooking the ocean. Then another when she came out of that mountain chalet bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of black lace up spike heeled knee high leather boots. Nipple clamps and chains on her big ample breasts and stroking a well lubricated big feeldoe in a minimizer harness with a lusty look of deviltry in her eyes. Wowsa that was good for a long reset!

**bikiniman** · Sep 23, 2012, 10:09 PM

Originally Posted by a2smith09

Then another when she came out of that mountain chalet bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of black lace up spike heeled knee high leather boots. Nipple clamps and chains on her big ample breasts and stroking a well lubricated big feeldoe in a minimizer harness with a lusty look of deviltry in her eyes. Wowsa that was good for a long reset!

Great suggestions. Now thats getting outside the comfort zone for most!