Compassion, respect, empathy and equality are important to life. Something I have found in being roughly twice your age, is that humility often hallmarks and heralds this other traits. Being humble means you accept others at face value, people as people.
It can also mean not stepping on miniscule ants, recognizing they are equal to yourself in living. Yes, at times I get terrified of having to watch my step. An ant has to tell me it's okay to just live.
They know about networking, ants. I've watched them build bridges from leaves, twigs, themselves. They do not judge one another, all are equal.
Unfortunately, I'm human. This means I aspire to virtues while still having feet of clay. No one but saints are saints.
I feel things based upon environment, upon what others say. As a result, please grant me time before I write and talk withe you again. There were things said which cut emotionally.
Not scorning you but right now it would be difficult to welcome you open armed as a friend. I'm a big old guy, often intimidate folks without trying. Friends know though I hug, am gentle. You need to wait for that now. Again, apologies I'm not quite as virtuous as the noble ant.
I don't deny what you said, but I respectfully disagree with part of it. In my opinion, the reason "all you see" is because that's all you are looking for, so you don't "see" anything that goes against what you already have convinced yourself is true. Unfortunately, I have talked to a lot of guys who fit the stereotypical behavior patterns that you mentioned, and I disdain labels to begin with, but since I happen to enjoy physical contact with men, I guess by default that makes me "bi", even though I hate even using the goddamn word and the stigma attached to it. I am also happily married to a woman who supports me in every way, even if it involves physical contact with another guy. I'm the type of person that seeks to be around healthy (mentally and physically), stable people and develop relationships instead of engaging in risky, emotionally empty, mindless hookups, so my potential pool of partners is greatly diminished due to having standards. Am I the norm? Well probably not. Is it unheard of to be in my situation? I doubt it.
I'm not going to be idiotic enough to make the assumption that I have even a clue as to what other mens' motivations are, but I will say that I sincerely believe that at least some of the men you mentioned wish that they could be open about themselves with their wives/girlfriends without the fear of being labelled "gay". I have spoken to more than one man who said his greatest wish was to be able to share everything about himself to his SO, maybe even have her be a part of it. I used to be one of those men until I took a chance and told my wife. I would never go back to the way things were, and even if my relationship ended with my wife, any future potential females in my life would know about me very early on in our relationship. So, all of us "bi" folks (men and women) don't fit into neat little boxes any more than straight or gay people do.
Peace!
Honestly, if I were to sum up society's attitudes on the sexual behavior of bisexuals in general, it would be thus:
Anyone who enjoys sex with men outside of a "traditional marriage" type setting (where that has occurred or is the goal) is a "slut".
Hence the ability by one of the posters here to consistently say how people like me can't be monogamous and what not.
I would further add that any woman who enjoys sex outside of the "traditional marriage" goal is a lesbian and thus "hates men" simply because a lack of sexual interest.
All stereotypes perpetuate from these two things. Except, of course, that men who have sex with men seemingly perpetual disease. Want to read an email I received from okcupid?
"I don't mind bi guys as long as they dont like it in the butt. Cause thats risky."
There's a huge double standard I think when it comes from straights to gays in sexual behavior and stereotype. Then there's a double standard between straight, gays compared to bisexuals (we spread diseases to both communities). And I'm not sure if bisexual men or women get the short shaft more often.
As far as the OP is concerned, I tend to ignore her posts as either man-hating or homophobic on the topic of men while trying to drive her own attitude towards sexuality. So I find it amusing that she would complain about bisexual stereotypes, and telling that she would only list those about women. I don't need to read any more of the posts to realize that she won't accept that, nor (like on other threads I've posted on) do I need to read further to know where the conversation would go. Of course, when you try to make a point that someone hates something, everyone always reflects to proof that they're not hateful inherently against a group. So I expect her to condemn my accusation that she hates men, regardless of sexuality. This isn't a lack of sexual interest, unlike the stereotype I complain about above, but actual perceived hostility. Nor is it tied with lesbianism, I've clearly met a lot of straight women who have this attitude.
Bookmarks