Irritating Bisexual Stereotypes.

[Jobelorocks]

[QUOTE=The Bisexual Virgin;236084]

This is precisely what people are talking about. You are stereotyping. There are bad apples in every bunch, but they aren't all that way. I have seen bisexual men who behave this way, but I have also seen plenty that are not that way at all. Just like you don't like stereotypes being made about you that you listed above, bisexual men don't like to be stereotyped or demonized because what some other bisexual men have done. It is very irritating to be stereotyped. I am a bisexual woman and I can see this.[/QUOTE

I am going to assume that everyone that answered is white, and if so I wish that one day they would ask god to wake them in black skin, and spend a few hours in Jasper Alabama. For you people to compare being black to bisexual is really ridiculous. Me as a bisexual can be hidden, but I cannot hide my skin color.or the fact that I am a woman. So in other words I am a black woman first, and bisexual dead last.

Man, you have some issues. Heck, I know that racism is still around and I know it is bad and I know you can't hide your skin color like bisexuality. Duh. Just because there are worse cases of stereotyping that you may have faced, does not give you the right to stereotype others. Period. Stop using excuses and realize that you cannot complain about people stereotyping bisexuals when you do this to bisexual men all the time. Stop being hypocritical.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

[QUOTE=Jobelorocks;236094]

Man, you have some issues. Heck, I know that racism is still around and I know it is bad and I know you can't hide your skin color like bisexuality. Duh. Just because there are worse cases of stereotyping that you may have faced, does not give you the right to stereotype others. Period. Stop using excuses and realize that you cannot complain about people stereotyping bisexuals when you do this to bisexual men all the time. Stop being hypocritical.

I am not using excuses it was clearly stated as plain as day that I a bigot, and I no problem with that,because I know otherwise. Please take your white privilege somewhere else

[Jobelorocks]

[QUOTE=The Bisexual Virgin;236102]

I am not using excuses it was clearly stated as plain as day that I a bigot, and I no problem with that,because I know otherwise. Please take your white privilege somewhere else

I never called you a bigot, check the posts. (but you know, if one of us "white priveleged" people say something, we are all guilty of it.) I said you stereotyped which is true. Wow, take my "white privilege" somewhere else? I never even knew you were black until this thread! I don't give a fuck what your race is. There is no excuse for negatively stereotyping a group of people. You seem to be preoccupied with race, not me. You keep on bringing it up. Why are you bringing race into this? What does my race or your race matter? It does not excuse any of our actions or give us a right to negatively stereotype others. Everyone should be held to the standard of not creating false stereotypes of whatever group, no matter what race, religion, sexuality, age, or whatever.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Way to be a hypocritical bigot towards bisexual men. You're probably not even really bisexual either, and you did write about how you had sex with a woman but didn't like it or her at all so you're NOT a virgin. I find bigoted biphobic bisexual and hetero women too much to take seriously.

Dude, you really need to be quiet. You are the main one that said bisexual men prefer other men sexually and romantically, so you cannot say shit to me unless you are agreeing with me like you did last time.

[æonpax]

Way to be a hypocritical bigot towards bisexual men. You're probably not even really bisexual either, and you did write about how you had sex with a woman but didn't like it or her at all so you're NOT a virgin. I find bigoted biphobic bisexual and hetero women too much to take seriously.

Hey Whinestone, before you start crying a river how persecuted you feel, did you ever consider it's not becuase you are bisexual, but you have zero personality and the acumen of a rock. Grow up.

[void()]

Dude I rarely get mad over the internet but you trying compare skin color to, whoever the hell some bisexual man fucks is grating on my nerves. The one thing cannot stand or tolerate is for people to compare skin color or sexual preferences. My eyes work just fine. In fact they work so fine that all I see is men looking for hookups with other men, bisexual me looking for cocks to suck,bisexual men cheating on their wives with other men,bisexual men leaving their wives to be with other men, and bisexual men doing whatever the hell else with other men.And it's not just here it's everywhere, so you trying to deny what I said will not work.

And I have not once spewed any hate. People like you are so fucking quick to call someone hateful just because you do not agree with someone.

Bigotry is bigotry. I am not denying that some bisexual men do the things you say. But you cannot say all bisexual men do those things. Which is what you've been doing.

[Jobelorocks]

Bigotry is bigotry. I am not denying that some bisexual men do the things you say. But you cannot say all bisexual men do those things. Which is what you've been doing.

I second this.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Bigotry is bigotry. I am not denying that some bisexual men do the things you say. But you cannot say all bisexual men do those things. Which is what you've
been doing.

Void, are you black?If you are not, then you really don't know what bigotry is. And in case you have not notice most gay white men are racists

[Jobelorocks]

Void, are you black?If you are not, then you really don't know what bigotry is. And in case you have not notice most gay white men are racists

And again stereotyping white gay men. Stop with the negative stereotypes. Can't complain about people stereotyping and then turn right around and stereotype yourself. You are proving our point that you are the one doing the stereotyping over and over.

[darkeyes]

Void, are you black?If you are not, then you really don't know what bigotry is. And in case you have not notice most gay white men are racists

That is an appalling slur and simply not true..there are racists in every walk of life and the gay community male or female has its share... most I know are anything but ad many have themselves actively fought racism all of their lives often at great risk to themselves... your post is a broad nd ignorant statement for which u should be bloody well ashamed... how dare you tell anyone they don't know what bigotry is... gay, bisexual and transgendered people on this site and in the wider world I think know at least as much as you about that...

[Jobelorocks]

That is an appalling slur and simply not true..there are racists in every walk of life and the gay community male or female has its share... most I know are anything but ad many have themselves actively fought racism all of their lives often at great risk to themselves... your post is a broad nd ignorant statement for which u should be bloody well ashamed... how dare you tell anyone they don't know what bigotry is... gay, bisexual and transgendered people on this site and in the wider world I think know at least as much as you about that...

Amen, sister.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

And again stereotyping white gay men. Stop with the negative stereotypes. Can't complain about people stereotyping and then turn right around and stereotype yourself. You are proving our point that you are the one doing the stereotyping over and over.

Gay white men are not stereotyped as racists, that's reserved for the straight ones. I am saying from experience Gay white men are white first, and gay second.And I have not once complained about stereotypes. I complain about people especially white people should not compare being black to sexual preferences.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

That is an appalling slur and simply not true..there are racists in every walk of life and the gay community male or female has its share... most I know are anything but ad many have themselves actively fought racism all of their lives often at great risk to themselves... your post is a broad nd ignorant statement for which u should be bloody well ashamed... how dare you tell anyone they don't know what bigotry is... gay, bisexual and transgendered people on this site and in the wider world I think know at least as much as you about that...

I am not ashamed of anything.Sorry I am not.Talking to everyone here is like talking to a brick wall. You guys will never understand what a colored person has go through. All those people you mention can always pass for being straight.Again I am sorry, but with you being a white woman I would suspect you would never understand what I am talking about.

[Jobelorocks]

Gay white men are not stereotyped as racists, that's reserved for the straight ones. I am saying from experience Gay white men are white first, and gay second.And I have not once complained about stereotypes. I complain about people especially white people should not compare being black to sexual preferences.

You are creating a stereotype in your own mind. Now it sounds like you are saying all white people are racist, which is also very very untrue. The whole point of this thread was complaining about stereotypes about bisexuals that irritate you. So ya, you are complaining. Don't tell me people don't get stereotyped and face bigotry for their sexuality. Check these out http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jul...rimes-20110713
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/09/ny...pagewanted=all
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1564885.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/...g9I_story.html
This is just a few pretty reputable new sources that shows that people are indeed facing bigotry due to their sexual identity. I never compared the two types of bigotry/prejudice of racism and prejudice based on sexual orientation. I just said that stereotyping a group of people due to their race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, age, ect. is wrong. I don't think you can argue with that. (even though you are perpetuating and creating negative stereotypes).

Some forms of prejudice are more severe than others, but prejudice is prejudice.

[Jobelorocks]

I am not ashamed of anything.Sorry I am not.Talking to everyone here is like talking to a brick wall. You guys will never understand what a colored person has go through. All those people you mention can always pass for being straight.Again I am sorry, but with you being a white woman I would suspect you would never understand what I am talking about.

Uh, darkeyes is not straight, she is a lesbian.

[Vuillardgr]

Wow, this thread has gone completely off topic. I think we can all agree that the stereotypes need to be dropped and in some way, we will all be part of a minority in some point of our lives.

As I stated in another post, there is no excuse for any bigotry. I believe what Bi Virgin is trying to convey is that sexual and racial bigotry are two different things. Does one trump the other? Not at all. but in certain instances, a non white person, who can't hide their skin color will have a more difficult time in certain circumstances than someone who is gay or bi. Most of the time, you can't tell a person's sexuality just by looking at them. Being a black woman, it's true. I've experienced it. No matter how educated, attractive, engaging we may be, there are some out there who will think the worst of me because of our color and at times gender. Black women catch some serious hell. We have to work harder than most just to prove that we can do positive things and become a driving force in society. A gay/ bi person will run into most of the same problems but only if they are open about their sexuality. I have no choice but to be open about my skin color because I wear it every day.

That being said, Bi Virgin, it's interesting reading your posts. I enjoy exchanging ideas with you, but some friendly advice.... you may want to ease up on the accusations of racial bigotry and accusing people of "white privilege". If people are on this site, they are fairly open minded. I doubt many of them are racists against blacks. Will they know what it's like to be us? No, not at all. Just try to convey your thoughts in a way that will allow people to see it from your point of view without attacking them.

Let's all try and start threads and remain on topic.... if someone tries to go "off road", just remain on subject. I'm looking to exchange points of view and banter...not barbs.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Uh, darkeyes is not straight, she is a lesbian.

I know she's a lesbian.What does that have anything to do with her skin color?

[The Bisexual Virgin]

Wow, this thread has gone completely off topic. I think we can all agree that the stereotypes need to be dropped and in some way, we will all be part of a minority in some point of our lives.

As I stated in another post, there is no excuse for any bigotry. I believe what Bi Virgin is trying to convey is that sexual and racial bigotry are two different things. Does one trump the other? Not at all. but in certain instances, a non white person, who can't hide their skin color will have a more difficult time in certain circumstances than someone who is gay or bi. Most of the time, you can't tell a person's sexuality just by looking at them. Being a black woman, it's true. I've experienced it. No matter how educated, attractive, engaging we may be, there are some out there who will think the worst of me because of our color and at times gender. Black women catch some serious hell. We have to work harder than most just to prove that we can do positive things and become a driving force in society. A gay/ bi person will run into most of the same problems but only if they are open about their sexuality. I have no choice but to be open about my skin color because I wear it every day.

That being said, Bi Virgin, it's interesting reading your posts. I enjoy exchanging ideas with you, but some friendly advice.... you may want to ease up on the accusations of racial bigotry and accusing people of "white privilege". If people are on this site, they are fairly open minded. I doubt many of them are racists against blacks. Will they know what it's like to be us? No, not at all. Just try to convey your thoughts in a way that will allow people to see it from your point of view without attacking them.

Let's all try and start threads and remain on topic.... if someone tries to go "off road", just remain on subject. I'm looking to exchange points of view and banter...not barbs.

Thanks for understanding where I am coming from. And I know most people on this are very sweet and open minded, and I hate to become a raging bitch,because some bisexual decided to bring race into this discussion.Void_dweller could have used anything besides race. That what's really got me upset. And I seriously hope this thread will get back on track, and all the people that have a problem with what I say needs to step out, so others can put in their two cents. And remember ladies and gentlemen, all this mess started because some lady was holding a grudge against me.

[Jobelorocks]

Thanks for understanding where I am coming from. And I know most people on this are very sweet and open minded, and I hate to become a raging bitch,because some bisexual decided to bring race into this discussion.Void_dweller could have used anything besides race. That what's really got me upset. And I seriously hope this thread will get back on track, and all the people that have a problem with what I say needs to step out, so others can put in their two cents. And remember ladies and gentlemen, all this mess started because some lady was holding a grudge against me.

So now since another person brought race into the matter, then you are going to treat the rest of us like we did it because we are white? Why do you repeatedly make race an issue with people who didn't make the comment Void did? How is this fair? Honestly, I don't think anyone who has seen your past posts will take you seriously because we have seen you repeatedly stereotype bi men and throughout this thread stereotype other groups as well. Prejudice is a bad thing and should not be tolerated.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

So now since another person brought race into the matter, then you are going to treat the rest of us like we did it because we are white? Why do you repeatedly make race an issue with people who didn't make the comment Void did? How is this fair? Honestly, I don't think anyone who has seen your past posts will take you seriously because we have seen you repeatedly stereotype bi men and throughout this thread stereotype other groups as well. Prejudice is a bad thing and should not be tolerated.

I have only spoke of bisexual men, and no one else. And I only brought race up, because one poster decided to bring race into the equation, and decided to compare it to something else. If Void_Dweller would have left race or black people alone, I would have not said anything. And not only that people co-sign with him.Please do not put words into my mouth, I know what I said.

[Jobelorocks]

I have only spoke of bisexual men, and no one else. And I only brought race up, because one poster decided to bring race into the equation, and decided to compare it to something else. If Void_Dweller would have left race or black people alone, I would have not said anything. And not only that people co-sign with him.Please do not put words into my mouth, I know what I said.

You also talked about white gay men saying that most of them are racist. Also you referred to my "white privelege" when I was not the one who brought race into this, so therefore making me pay for what someone else said. I didn't even comment on your statement about race, I left race out of it when you talked about my "white privelege" . So who is putting words in who's mouth? You keep on bringing up race with people who were leaving race out of the matter.

[DuckiesDarling]

Hey, Bisexual Virgin, let me pretty blunt here, i don't care if you are black, white, purple or plaid that's not the problem I have with your posts, the problem I have is you appear to be a clueless bitch who rants about bi males not able to really love women or not be faithful to partners. It's not our fault or the men we know and loves fault that you can't seem to find anyone to be happy with, but you have no reason to come on a site for bisexuals and slam the males with your generalities.

[Jobelorocks]

Hey, Bisexual Virgin, let me pretty blunt here, i don't care if you are black, white, purple or plaid that's not the problem I have with your posts, the problem I have is you appear to be a clueless bitch who rants about bi males not able to really love women or not be faithful to partners. It's not our fault or the men we know and loves fault that you can't seem to find anyone to be happy with, but you have no reason to come on a site for bisexuals and slam the males with your generalities.

Amen to that.

[void()]

Void, are you black?If you are not, then you really don't know what bigotry is. And in case you have not notice most gay white men are racists

No, I'm not black. Did have mulatto in the family along the way but that fact never played any import in our family. I am unfortunately rather caucasian, albeit with traces of Rom and Native American tossed in to make me a genuine mutt.

Bigotry is discriminating against anyone for any reason. Bigotry is hate.

Okay, established I'm white. I'm also a bisexual, not homosexual. My name is not most either. But again you're tarring a group of people with big wide brush. I dislike this course you choose, dislike use of such wide and absolute brushes. I think better of you, for you to continue disrespecting yourself.

I brought race up to illustrate my point to you Bi Virgin. Bigotry is bigotry was and is my point. I was not slurring anyone due to race, creed, gender. I even offset it in my post to alert to the fact that I did so only in illustration of a point.

Hurts when someone excludes you simply for being yourself, doesn't it? Hurts when someone considers you a thief, thug, killer or whatever simply because you fit into an easily classifiable group, doesn't it?

Doesn't matter what group you are classed in, bigotry and discrimination are still bigotry and discrimination.

[Decoy]

To add my two sense, I feel that a bisexual who stereotypes another bisexual, regardless of gender, is a big hypocrite. Period. We all go through the same stereotypes (more or less) from others who are not bisexuals sometimes, so to stereotype each other doesn't make any sense at all. Pot calling the kettle black basically.

But to get back on topic, there are a few stereotypes that do get on my nerves:

1. Bisexuals don't exist. You can either like one or the other.
(I can't tell you how many times this was said to me. That I'm either straight and just confused, or I'm just a closeted gay. It's amazing that some people can be so ignorant and only see in black and white)

2. All Bisexuals are promiscuous.
(Anyone can be a cheater whether you're gay, straight, or bisexual. Just because you like both doesn't mean you're more inclined to cheat.)

3. Bisexuals only like sexual relationships with the same sex. At the end of the day, bisexuals will be with the opposite sex because that's what they prefer and to fit into society (Yes I've been told this)
(I'm not even going to argue with this because it's utter bullshit.)

I know plenty more irritating stereotypes but the ones above just really get under my skin.

[void()]

But to get back on topic, there are a few stereotypes that do get on my nerves:

1. Bisexuals don't exist. You can either like one or the other.
(I can't tell you how many times this was said to me. That I'm either straight and just confused, or I'm just a closeted gay. It's amazing that some people can be so ignorant and only see in black and white)

2. All Bisexuals are promiscuous.
(Anyone can be a cheater whether you're gay, straight, or bisexual. Just because you like both doesn't mean you're more inclined to cheat.)

3. Bisexuals only like sexual relationships with the same sex. At the end of the day, bisexuals will be with the opposite sex because that's what they prefer and to fit into society (Yes I've been told this)
(I'm not even going to argue with this because it's utter bullshit.)

I especially <sarcasm>love</sarcasm> your second example. We are thought unable of having anything beyond a capacity to fuck anyone. Bisexuals can and do love other people, can be and are compassionate, honorable, loyal. As you say anyone can be a cheater. Your other two examples I chuckle at as piles of dung. Also love one about bi folks being selfish.

[tenni]

To add my two sense, I feel that a bisexual who stereotypes another bisexual, regardless of gender, is a big hypocrite. Period. We all go through the same stereotypes (more or less) from others who are not bisexuals sometimes, so to stereotype each other doesn't make any sense at all. Pot calling the kettle black basically.


2. All Bisexuals are promiscuous.
(Anyone can be a cheater whether you're gay, straight, or bisexual. Just because you like both doesn't mean you're more inclined to cheat.)

I know plenty more irritating stereotypes but the ones above just really get under my skin.

I agree with you that "All bisexuals are promiscuous" is a negative stereotype.

Where I disagree is your connecting promiscuous bisexuals as "cheating" are you not creating another negative stereotype?

Promiscuity and cheating are two separate points. Being promiscuous should not be seen as a bad thing on its own for bisexuals and yet you connect it to cheating.

Single promiscuous bisexuals are not cheating. Nor are people who are swingers or poly necessarily cheaters.

We are just slutty (lol... to reinforce another negative stereotype) or more positively Bonobo sharing our love with those that need a little lovin.

btw There are stereotypes put in the positive. "All God fearing Christians are good" is one. It seems to be when we are all inclusive about a group negatively that stereotypes get dicey.

[CurEUs_Male]

Wow, I find this entire thread disturbing.
From the very first post it was not an open discussion heading in a good direction.

TBV - I have not had the pleasure to review all your previous posts, but you seem to have a major issue with bisexual men based on this thread alone. It makes me wonder why you are on this site, which is primarily bisexual men (admittedly this is not a scientific study, just looking at the numbers of single men vs. couples vs. single women profiles). I would say also you have a big chip on your shoulder, and wonder where that came from? All too often some people get into a rut while posting on forums such as this, and a personality begins to form. Outside of this site, you may have a great personality, you may well be very sociable, and endearing to your friends, BUT from your words here, you come across very negatively.
I saw your comment that you have been better lately, but you should keep in mind that your last post is not the only post people are remembering. Therefore, it will take a long time to become a better 'personality' on a site where every previous post is easily seen.

When it comes to bigotry remarks, either straight out or somewhat hidden as a stereotype, it's never a good idea. I learned that many years ago as I was raised to be accepting. Personally I saw families preaching acceptance while following a church which convinced them to be un-accepting of their own children. Ripping apart families, and spreading hate. This sticks with me now as I have come to realize I have a non-heterosexual orientation. It is a struggle with my wife as well, since she is not in line with my thought process. There was even a lot if issues between us because some of the bisexual-male based stereotypes that you have been quoted making on this site. It is just as hurtful for people to read those remarks here, on a site that is based on acceptance and support for those of us that have what may be considered a non-traditional inclination. This has been very traumatic for me, as it was for my brother when he came out as gay. It was traumatic when my cousin was essentially disavowed by his parents. I understand they both had a much more difficult time than I did, but that doesn't discount the pain and struggles I now am going through. There is no level that feels good to the one being treated wrongly simply because someone else has it worse.

None of this has to do with skin color, and I had no idea your background until you stated it here. All others and I have is what you put in front of us. We may jump to conclusions based on a very small image of who you are. Instead of ranting back and forth on bad assumptions and negative thoughts, why not put your efforts into showing us what a kind and compassionate person you are. Instead of posts about negative things, look for an opportunity to post positive things.

We do not just see with our eyes, but with our minds. THis should be an open minded community. If you cant see that (with your mind) and do not want to be part of an open, supportive community, perhaps you should log off one last time, and find a community that fits your personal image better?

Good luck in your quest, whatever it is.

[The Bisexual Virgin]

You also talked about white gay men saying that most of them are racist. Also you referred to my "white privelege" when I was not the one who brought race into this, so therefore making me pay for what someone else said. I didn't even comment on your statement about race, I left race out of it when you talked about my "white privelege" . So who is putting words in who's mouth? You keep on bringing up race with people who were leaving race out of the matter.

No i said from my experiences they are racists, please re-read what I wrote. And I only accused you of white privilege is because you agreed bigotry against skin color, and sexual preferences is the same thing,only someone who is white will say that,because they don't know what it's like to be black.

[Jobelorocks]

No i said from my experiences they are racists, please re-read what I wrote. And I only accused you of white privilege is because you agreed bigotry against skin color, and sexual preferences is the same thing,only someone who is white will say that,because they don't know what it's like to be black.

When did I ever say it was the same thing. Stop putting words in my mouth. I didn't say anything about race until you talked about my "white privelege" I was talking about your prejudice against bisexual men. Nothing else. Notice, I didn't bring up race until you brought up mine. You know I married a mixed race man because I am so racist. My family is a mixed race family. All the women but one in my family have married men of different races. So you don't know shit about me. So take your bad attitude and your assumptions elsewhere.