What kind of area are you in Cat?
In my area it is likely there are many people who have passed through this site, but doubt you would ever know it.
I am in an area where money is old &/or in abundance ~ men have wives & several boyfriends behind their backs ~ go to church regularly, tithe in abundance, & preach hate for gays and the poor.... basically I am surrounded by hypocrites & no it is not D.C..
Now, right across the Lake is where I grew up, a little city called New Orleans, LA (NOLA) where there is a "Rainbow District".... but it might as well be a World away.
I am, by pretty much any measure, the exception to the rule in that I met my now Wife when I was in NOLA and would travel across the Lake regularly to see her.
What it comes down to is that there is this vacuum here where little gets out and anything trying to get in is severely scrutinized.
Basically what all this back story comes down to is that no one meets here to become friends & LTRs.... it is an environment where cheating is promoted, secrecy is a given, & outing a 'Family' man has sever consequences.
While there is also no going back to NOLA from here to find those relationships either, because the people there are so ingrained in the Community they will not leave it and even if you were part of it at one time, you are now an outsider & a quick conquest at best.
We have looked for years now, just for a 3rd to be a part of our Family with no luck.
It is just not what is expected to happen & anyone near by rarely goes past 1 conversation or even e-mail when you tell them you do not swing or cheat.